Funny / Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

• Oz's blinkered contempt for his employers.
  Bomber: Is he barmy, Den? He's taking a tea break when the chargehand comes round.
  Dennis: {disdainfully curt} Does it on purpose, Bomber.
  Oz: Look, I don't kowtow to authority like what they do!
• With Dennis feeling the wear of his impending divorce, and undecided on whether to return to England, Oz, in a ham-fisted attempt to cheer him up, shares his approach to raising the spirits of his pet budgie.
  Dennis: I don't need cheering up, thank you very much, Oz. And as for you and your budgie, about the only thing we've got in common, is we're both sick of seeing your face through the bars of our cage. Look, I'll tell you exactly what I told Vera, right? I'll make my mind up at the end of the week. And when I do, it's what's best for me that matters, right? Not for Vera, or for Dagmar, or for you, or for your flippin' budgie. For once in my life, I'm putting my interests first. Okay?
  Oz: Well, could you let wor know by Thursd-
  Dennis: {flings a tool}
• On Dennis's retreat into angry despondence, Barry ponders an outbreak of petty tensions.
  Barry: It's a sure sign of us missing our tribal leader, ya know. I read about it in The Naked Ape. There's this group of chimpanzees, right, and they were suddenly deprived of their elder states chimp, with the result that the rest of them took part in several days of fierce squabbling. We may not know it, but this is a primitive leadership struggle to see who succeeds Dennis!
  Oz: Barry... don't take this the wrong way will you, but... why don't you go and boil your head?
• At his Spanish retreat, Tyneside-based gangster Ally Fraser plays Monopoly with girlfriend Vicki, and takes a phone call which rouses him to fling the monopoly board into the air and storm off. Vicki's response:
  Vicki: You're turning into a real bad loser, you!
• At the Season Two finale, the gang are being chased across the Mediterranean by the police in a hijacked wedding boat. A panicked Oz yells, "Do something, Dennis!" and Dennis finally takes issue with the fact that everybody always expects him to just "do something".
  Dennis: And what am I supposed to do, man? This is just like bloody Düsseldorf, this! "What's gannin on, Dennis? What are we ganna do, Dennis?" It's all down to Dennis. Look man, I divvn't know what's happening! I don't know where we're going or what's gonna happen to any of wor.
  Neville: So what else is new?
• "Wayne, they think we're muggers!"
  • Really, that whole episode could be considered one continuous moment of funny.
• When difficulties mount in series three...
  Oz: AH, WELL PISS AND SHITE AND... PHNAAH!!
• The title card at the end of the third series (at least on the DVD) reassuring viewers that the Middlesbrough Transporter Bridge was still there, and hadn't been taken apart and shipped to America. Apparently this was felt necessary after a local phoned the BBC to complain, thinking that they had actually removed the bridge (in actuality it was achieved with some very convincing visual effects).

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