- The first one has no sight. But he'll find you in the night.The second one cannot hear, but he surely smells your fear.Third one has no mouth to speak, but if you see him, don't make a peep.A winged horse beside them all, of death he is the call.
A Classic Horror Story is an Italian Horror Movie by Roberto De Feo.
Elisa (Matilda Lutz) is a woman carpooling in an RV with a man named Fabrizio (Francesco Russo), a doctor named Riccardo (Peppino Mazzota), and young couple Sofia (Yuliia Sobol) and Mark (Will Merrick) to her mom's in Calabria Italy to get an abortion (which she's somewhat reluctant about). While they're driving along, Mark spots a corpse in the road and swerves to avoid it, hitting a tree and knocking everyone unconscious.
When they all come to, they have to apply a splint to Mark's broken leg. Then they exit the RV and discover they're not where they should logically be. Rather than the woods they were driving through, they find themselves in the middle of an open field near a house. They decide to look around, and make some interesting discoveries.
They also discover they're not alone, and that the people they're with have some rather deadly intentions with them.
The film was released on Netflix on July 14th, 2021.
A Classic Horror Story contains examples of:
- Blood from the Mouth: Mark has a line of blood coming out of his mouth, probably as a result of the crash.
- Bound and Gagged: The movie begins with a shot of a woman cuffed to a table by her arms and legs. Later on, Sofia and Riccardo are seen out in the field one night tied to poles by a giant wicker man.
- Decapitation Presentation: While trying to find a way back to the road, Fabrizio and Riccardo come across a display which includes a bunch of severed pig heads.
- Don't Go in the Woods: Especially the Southern Italian woods, unless you WANT to be sacrificed by Malevolent Masked Men who are really mafiosos helping a psycho director make a Snuff Film.
- Drunk Driver: Mark insists on driving the RV after getting drunk. He actually manages to stay on the road somehow... until he sees the corpse in the road.
- Empathy Doll Shot: The group finds a discarded baby doll among the discarded vehicles of past victims.
- Facial Horror: At the cast party, Elisa sees a boy singing a song played by an accordion. The entire right side of the boy's face looks very droopy and folded.
- Happier Home Movie: Sofia watches a silly little movie she and Mark made. Riccardo also watches one of his daughter.
- Hidden Depths: Sofia says she has a startup company which involves making 3D jewelry.
- Imperiled in Pregnancy: Elisa discovers that she’s pregnant at the start of the movie, although she’s only a few weeks along and intends to terminate her pregnancy.
- In the Hood: Some of the Malevolent Masked Men wear long hooded robes. Possibly signifying they're more important individuals.
- Malevolent Masked Men: The gang find that there's a lot of people wearing masks made from bark and antlers in the woods, who seem to be intent on sacrificing them to the deities they worship.
- My Greatest Failure: Riccardo reveals that he lost a patient, which apparently ruined his life, as his wife left him after that, and won't let him see his daughter.
- Oh, Crap!: Chiara widens her eyes somewhat when she sees Elise standing before her, pointing a shotgun at her.
- The Reveal: The Malevolent Masked Men who were trying to sacrifice the group are actually mafia actors working for Fabrizio and his family, helping them make a Snuff Film to distribute on Bloodflix.
- Slashed Throat: The hooded people kill Sofia and Riccardo this way after adding Riccardo's ears and Sofia's eyes to their giant wicker man.
- Smash to Black: After the RV crashes into a tree, the whole screen goes black.
- Teens Are Monsters: Chiara, who is around 13 or 14, is far from the innocent victim she initially appears to be. She is in fact Fabrizio’s younger sister and a willing participant in the staging and filming of his snuff films.
- Tongue Trauma: When the gang find Chiara in a hay cocoon in the attic, they deduce she had her tongue removed because they see it in a jar of water nearby. It's actually a prop tongue.
- Watch Out for That Tree!: When Mark swerves to avoid the corpse in the road, he sends the RV on a collision course with a tree.
- Wham Line: "Fabrizio, can you hear me?"
- Would Hurt a Child: Elisa doesn’t hesitate to kill Chiara when she discovers that she’s in on Fabrizio’s plot to create snuff films.
- This is your ending.
