Now, anyone with only a little bit of knowledge on Sonic would probably tell you the Archie comics were those weirdly serious comics based on a video game about a small blue man that can run fast.
This wasn't the case. Or at least, it wasn't always the case.
When it started out, the stories were really really silly and simple. For example...
Issue #1 opens with the story, Meet Me at the Corner of Hedgehog & Vine. It opens with Doctor Robotnik, looking slightly phallic, as he hits around a Sonic pinata in frustration. Why he owns a Sonic pinata or allows such things to be made, I don't quite grasp. Just as he finishes beating up the false dude, a Swatbot (the generic mooks of the comic) comes in with a plant. This angers Robotnik, as plants are against the rules. I don't get how he breathes if plants aren't allowed, but I'm sure he found a way. One beating later, the Swatbot manages to reveal it's a robot plant! One from the little shop of horrors at that! The round dude is in awe, and decides to keep the Swatbot's admittedly pretty terrible name for the thing, Krudzu. As explained by said bot, the plant needs to be planted-
don't ask why-
to grow. After this small scene, we see Sonic. Surrounded by not so familiar faces. On the first page alone, we have two comic exclusive friends of Sonic. First, we have Antoine, a stereotypical French Coward (and that's about his characterization in the early parts) and Princess Sally. Who... is there. She cooks? That's kind of a thing for her? But for now at least, she doesn't have too much of a personality past Team Mom. Antoine (obviously) has a crush on Princess Sally and decides to go out to find something to impress her. Also obviously, this leads to his kidnapping. Remember that robot plant? Well he got this dude! He got the dude!
...
Don't worry he's freed on the next page. Unfortunately, Krudzu is still spreading and they gotta do somethi-! Oh. Turns out watering it takes it out then and there.
And there's a thunderstorm just around the corner.
Alright, end of story!
Yeah, not the deep storytelling you probably heard about. At least not yet. Just be patient, okay?
Also in this issue is the story, You Bet My Life! About Sonic deciding to... see Robotnik give a speech. Thrilling! Anyway, one playthrough of Sonic 2 up to Casino Zone (as the comic requests), Sonic finds himself in front of Renobotnik. After getting past a Swatbot itching for some casheroonies, he finds himself in the front seat, ready for the speech... which ends up with him getting right diddled, as the speech was about unveiling a new bot and attacking Sonic with it. Oopsie! After being captured, he's put in a glass ball and shot around a pinball machine. It's here we learn Sonic must use some hardcore hair gel, as his hair manages to cut through the thick glass and he breaks free. After one quick bashing of Mr. Eggfella, and one quick casino bombing oh dear, Sonic is free with nothing much gained through the whole scenario.
And that's Issue #1! Reading it felt like a blast to the early 90s. Sonic at one point calls something "juicin'." It's kind of beautiful just how early 90s it is. Like this is almost Rocket Power level. I promise the others are better! Just a rough start, so far.
