Following the abduction of a Yungoos (that hopefully won't cause that Preschooler to unleash her rage), Luna heads down the following routes after a failed attempt at finding an Alola Vulpix.
Lousy 10% chance.
On the beach she runs into Grimsley, of all people, and he asks whether the coin he has will be heads or tails. Luna, being a smartass, says neither.
"...How astonishing."
...Wait, that was right? (Edit: Apparently this is a reference to some dialogue Grimsley can give in the Unova games!)
Grimsley seems content with this outcome and gives Luna a Sharpedo to ride around on via Ride Pager, giving her the ability to become the terror of the seas. Following a pretty fun surfing segment, Luna bullies some trainers for EXP, gaining Discharge for Carrera, Moonblast for Primarina, and Flamethrower for Toxica. A new Oricorio is also gained. One more for the whole set!
After exploring some nearby ruins and finding nothing there aside from Psyshock, Luna continues back down the main path to Po Town. Team Skull Grunts are all over the place, and I can really appreciate the variety of their Pokemon compared to past teams.
After beating one, he encourages Luna to keep going on with her goals, even if she fails at them.
Further proof that they're great... even if they did steal from a preschooler.
After acquiring a Poison Jab TM, Luna heads to the entrance of Po Town, where a pair of Team Skull Grunts wonder if we want to join them (YEEEEES).
Unfortunately, they notice Luna's Z-Ring and decide to pop a cap in her bitch ass, or whatever the kids are doing nowadays.
C-c'mon guys, can't we look past that? I don't even use the dumb thing!
Afterwards, the Team Skull Grunts decide not to let Luna in because they think she's a jive turkey suckah. Our precious street cred...
But it's okay, because the most depressed Pokemon character in existence (seriously man, try some Prozac) shows up to help.
"If you don't make it, I'll make sure your remains are delivered to your family," he says to an 11-year-old child that he's sending in alone.
Great pep talk.
Upon heading inside, it begins raining heavily and... I am suddenly very concerned about all of these poor grunts out in the rain.
Some Grunts try to dissuade Luna from entering, but a convenient nearby hole gets her past their barricade, after which she defeats them both in battle and they lament their youth.
Upon heading into the nearby Pokemon Center, some Grunts begin rapping. But not aggressively this time.
Grunt A (Male): "Ready for fly rhymes in your ear, yo? But, yo, what're you doin' here, yo?"
Grunt B (Female): "Yo, it's darker than Darkrai up in here, yo. I'm gettin' scared like I met with a Fearow! Ain't nobody around. I'm feelin' kinda down, but I'm still holdin' it down here in Po Town! Hey, yo, spin it, Spinda!"
DJ Spinny Spin: "Spi-spin! Spi-spi-spin!"
Grunt A (Male): "So listen up, intruder. She wants money, but it always eludes her! Team Skull, represent! We can't pay the rent! Had a lot of fun, but our youth was misspent!"
Grunt B (Female): This Pokemon Center is where we cower, but we can't pay bills, so we got no power! If you give us (Money Symbol)10, we will help you out, by healing your team before your next bout!
Luna: Sounds good, yo. (Actual dialogue.)
Well, that was... surprisingly sad and somewhat relatable.
In the corner, a Hypno hypnotizes a Spinda for... some reason. There's also a Team Skull Grunt sleeping on the floor.
I'm surprised we didn't see any homeless people in Unova, now that I think of it.
Upon reaching the manor, Luna finds an Ice Stone outside. Handy for when she gets a Vulpix. In the meanwhile, she explores and defeats some grunts in the interior, finding some contradictory notes on a password in the process.
Some grunts mention they've been collecting Bugnium Z for Guzma, and others are sad that they can't be as strong and 'complete' as him.
Anyway, Luna heads up to the top and gets the TM for Sludge Bomb, which goes straight onto Toxica.
At the bottom of the room, a Grunt gives a quiz to see whether we're hard enough to be a Skull Grunt. Luna's only found two quizzes, but surely she can do this!
Guzma's favorite move is Beat Up, his favorite Pokemon is Golisopod (I suppose!), and his favorite drink is Tapu Cocoa!
And a true Team Skull Grunt always says no at the end, so I say I'm not sure.
Now I'm an honorary Skull! Woo!
Nobody told the Grunette outside in the rain, though.
Heading back inside, Luna makes her way to Guzma's room, with two Grunts outside going "Ehh, I'm not so sure you should go in there, shawty," or whatever the kids are saying nowadays.
Heading inside, Guzma challenges us to a battle, but he only has the same two Pokemon from last time. Aww...
Afterwards, he compliments Luna, berates himself, and then gives Yungoos back. I feel kind of bad for him...
Luna takes a Bugnium Z since so many are nearby and then sits on Guzma's chair, confusing a random Grunt. After that, she leaves the manor and runs into the depressed guy again. Apparently, his name is Nanu and he's Acerola's uncle. Huh. (Edit: He is not actually her uncle. Curse you Hawaiian terms of endearment!)
Heading back to town, it seems that Lillie has been taken by Plumeria, who rightly tells her off for being a thief.
Yeah, you tell her! How dare she criticize Team Skull!
Anyway, Gladion runs in and finds out that Lillie and Cosmog have been taken. He's decidedly not happy about this and decides to unleash his rage!
Much like Guzma, Toxica destroys his whole team on her own. Man, I love Salazzle.
Gladion's team is also starting to look similar to Silver's...
Anyway, Gladion apologizes for the battle afterwards and says Luna's going to come with him to get Cosmog back so that it doesn't blow up the region or something.
The plot thickens!
Upon heading to the harbor, Gladion and Luna wait for Hau to make his appearance when Nanu shows up again. Apparently, he's the island Kahuna and challenges Luna to battle. He's got a varied moveset, so Toxica doesn't solo this time, but no real trouble is had.
After the battle, Luna wins the Darkinium Z, but doesn't manage to obtain a single one of Nanu's fucks. He then teaches Luna how to do the pose for the Dark-type Z-Move, which causes Gladion to make a face of sheer disbelief.
Nanu then leaves without breaking face.
Hau then shows up and asks where Lillie could be. She's not at Po Town, of course, since we were just there.
So Gladion drops the dramatic revelation that Lillie is in fact at...
"Aether Paradise."
DUN NU- Actually, yeah, it was pretty obvious those guys were shady.
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