Chapter 12: A Dunce Cap
Samantha and the Knights go through an underground tunnel, their path lit by flying willawogs, as they arrive at the Old Order underground.
The tunnel soon opens up to an enormous underground cavern, packed with orange dirt. The ceiling is 50 feet high and domed, and the ground stretches back as far as 200 yards.
But even though it's an underground dome, it still has nature. A saltwater lake. An embankment with hundreds of families gathered around campfires, cooking meals. Withered trees on the embankment.
The people who live here in Aerynon, are called the Aerynonians. And I wonder how those two words are to be pronounced.
As the Aerynonians notice Samantha's presence, they rise one by one. Once they're all standing, Isolde says:
Samantha: Warrior Princess?
The people rush forward and cheer Sam, but weakly - the book tells us they are weak and almost beaten. Damn.
Samantha is a bit freaked out by the attention, but smiles and shakes hands nonetheless. Then Isolde takes her into a study crammed with books and papers, with a map of Aerynon on the wall. And a well in the middle of the room. I'm sure that well will be important in a couple pages?
Isolde tells Samantha the story of how Samantha's uncle took over Aerynon, and even left Isolde crippled.
Isolde then runs her fingers through the well, causing it to display a live image of Sam's mother still in the hospital, in a coma.
I'm now wondering how wells speak and form opinions.
Samantha points out that she sucks at, well, everything. She can't climb trees, she trips on things, and her mom nicknamed her "Stumbly Bumbly".
Isolde leads Sam into another cavern where the Table of Decision sits. Donum, Caleum the Elder, Thelwyne and Arstaef sit around it. And we already know Thelwyne and Arstaef the badass ten-year-old.
The narrator is toning down his act, it looks like. That analogy actually made sense. Also, how many adults are in positions of power in this world? Because I'm not seeing many.
Even though he's only sixteen, Donum has a point... or he would, if Arstaef wasn't ten and already known to be a badass warrior himself.
Isolde tells Sam that since she never lived in Aerynon and was born "on the other side", she now has to learn the skills she'll need to survive. I'm sure that can be done in a reasonable amount of time, don't you think?
Isolde tells Sam that Arstaef will teach her how to ride kallions - those magic spotted horse things that fly when they're angry. And Donum will teach her how to use the lightsaber - I mean, the Kylanthian Cuff. As well as the One-Hit Wonder Dagger of Balador, which Sam was failing at in the previous chapter.
Umm... this yields many questions. Malachi is a parrot. How did he say that? Was it like "Squawk! Sam has the gift of Quantum Materialization! Squawk! Sam has the gift of Quantum Materializataion!"? I mean, that parrot has shown human-like intelligence, but he's never spoken in more than single words.
Isolde reminds Sam of the time when, at the hospital, she summoned her mom's blanket out of thin air. That using her "QM" ability, she can make an object disappear from one location and appear elsewhere. Remember when I said a few chapters back that Samantha teleported a blanket? I wasn't joking.
Isolde tells Sam that Thelwyne will help her work on her mental acuity, her powers "in instinct and spirit."
Then Malachi flies in and demonstrates his massive vocabulary by squawking "At-tack. At-tack."
Arstaef the ten-year-old warrior (you know, the same age as Sam), and Donum the sixteen-year-old warrior (who thought Sam was too young) both leap to their feet and rush out to battle.
While in Isolde's study, Samantha looks at the map of Aerynon, then runs her fingertips across the water of the well. Soon, she hears the sound of laser bullets firing. The well reveals a battle raging on the beach - Knights of the Old Order versus Orci soldiers.
Yeah... I'm guessing Sam would rather not have found out that she's secretly a princess of an alternate dimension, prophesied to save it at the age of ten. But hey, she could be back on Earth, being relentlessly pursued by creatures that want to top the prophecy from coming true. Here, at least, she's a little less screwed.
That's a non-sequitor right there.
Samantha asks why the hell she's needed since she can't do much of anything except maybe teleport stuff by accident. And Thelwyne gives her this sage wisdom:
"-a dunce cap," Sam interrupted.
I... I... this dialog...
Thelwyne reminds Sam that she has QM, and that she actually does have the powers of the other warriors even if they haven't fully formed yet in her. After all, she rode a kallion really well for a noob with no training, whereas it took Thelwyne three years to learn how to ride them well.
And... I'm going to leave off this madness here, and come back next time when the story gets even stranger.
