Introduction
okay, so on with the story, first up is the introduction. A very Fallout esque little blurb that nicely sets up the story. Though without giving us a clue as to HOW something like this happened. Leaving that a mystery. Over all this is just plain amazing, sets up the tone, the basic backstory, and gives us a mystery. It is just an amazing hook and really gets you into the story quickly. And yet reading again, I notice one obvious and just plain glaring flaw. It doesn't start with the words "War, war never changes" or some ponified version of that. Thankfully the animation voice over on You Tube here
fixes that, every time I hear that, it still gives me chills.
Prologue
And on to the prologue. This is basically a quick exposition dump, explaining what a pip-buck is for people that haven't played Fallout, and showing off how it's been ponified for those who have. It also sets up that this will be told in first person, as Lil'pip is retelling her story. Who, why, when? we don't know. Though this does mean that you know right off she will survive long enough TO do so.
I like the way the story explains the features, explaining how all the game-play related mechanics like a HUD, FOF ident, inventory management etc.. work in fic, mostly with a simple "it's magic." And I can buy most of it, the one part that I do kind of question just how the hell that works is the FOF ident system. I can easily see magic tracking all nearby creatures, but I really don't see how it can instantly know what is and isn't hostile. Yes it's because that's how it works in the game, but this is one feature that really could have either been scrapped, altered, or had a better explanation for.
Next up a bit of explanation of Cutie Marks in case no one reading had seen the show, it's kept brief and to the point, then a bit setting up Lil'pip and her CM, showing some insight already into the type of pony she was, at least then, how she could be bored and unhappy in the stable, as well as setting up a reason for her almost freaky lockpicking skills, name dropping Velvet Remedy without saying more then she's a famous singer in the Stable, how the stable is run, their food source (though have to question how they can survive on NOTHING but apples). A bit more reason for her to be unhappy in her life in the Stable with her mother. And finally giving her name, and a little blurb that just becomes epicly Hilarious in Hindsight.
Again a good introduction, gets the required exposition out of the way quickly with a believable reason, sets up a few early parts of the story, and then leads into the actual fic.
