Rangers, Sentai Warriors, and...Wait, They're Not Them? Rika Liveblogs Vs. Super Sentai Vs. Power Rangers!
Part 4: Missing, Revived, Gone
Welcome back. Before I continue, I'd like to note that in our last chapter, there have been a few changes here and there. Namely, the fic looks slightly polished, but as the old saying goes, you can polish a turd. Also, we get some very unneeded Darkness-Induced Audience Apathy moments—namely, RINO attacks a fucking day-care.
Also, the U.A.O.H is located in Germany. I am not making this up.
...this is still gonna suck, isn't it?
: And now we continue with...
Like Chapter 3, this one got polished a bit. Unfortunately, I don't have the original to compare it to. Let's see how much torturous this becomes.
Trini tries to tell her captors that it's all a misunderstanding, but Jason, somehow being dignified instead of the constipated Large Ham
that we all know and love, calms her down.
: Wait, isn't Trini supposed to be the calm and level-headed Ranger?
I think so. Talk about your out-of-character moments.
: Trini wa kanojo no hokaku-sha no suigara o keri o kangaeteimasuga, jeison to atode Mika wa sōdenakereba kanojo ni iu. Shitsumon o sōshutsu suru, naze karera no ta no dōmeikuni o keikoku hoka no sentai no senshi, nantoka renjā ni renraku no mono wa, naidesu ka?*
Because it would be too easy? And Akizuki wouldn't be able to recreate his favorite Sentai crossover movie? I'm all for continuity references—I even used a few lines from "Operation Lightspeed" and "The Fate of Lightspeed" during the final battle in "Alyx's Origins", and that didn't detract from the plot. But when you're just recreating stuff just because you like it...important stuff, mind you...doesn't it make you look lazy?
: Meanwhile, Jasmine and Tetsu wonder if the Rangers aren't foes, but they decide to test them to be sure. So she uses her psychic powers to scan them, and she executes the morphing pose...and Alpha 5's mannerisms.
I got nothing.
Tetsu takes the Rangers to a lie detector room, but not before he reveals that they have Tommy. Jason states that he's one of their friends, but before they're reunited...well, they ended up passing the test, making the entire conflict—(ding ding!)—entirely pointless.
Meanwhile, Sakura realizes that Trakeena is not in the files. She wonders if she's from another world, or that their enemies' profiles are so outdated. As if we didn't already know, Souta states the obvious: no records of her are found amongst the Sentai villains at all. He then guesses that she may be Hyde Gene's daughter. Okay...
Also, they...hate-gush over how evil RINO is, I guess? ("Hate-gush" is when someone who dislikes or fears someone talk about how strong he or she is and talks about it often, as if they're gushing nonstop.)
...also, Sakura thinks about the "mysterious visitors"...and have to confirm about whether or not they're part of an invasion plot. Sakura, are you fucking dense? Jasmine cleared them!
Unless if she means the Power Rangers villains. But since it's likely that she's talking about the Rangers themselves...
: Masumi states about how he hates to think if Yaiba returned from the Netherworld. Why? Because once a villain heads down there, there's no chance for redemption. And the Boukengers talk about the possibility of the other members from the Negative Syndicate reviving.
The scene ends with Satoru telling the group that they have to stay firm. NEXT!
Cut to Tommy, recovering from when he fell. Story!Mako and Takeru tend to his...bump, I guess. Then he realizes that his morpher, whichever one it is, is broken. With a decidedly Dull Surprise
Tommy: "Oh no, I broke my morpher."
: This Mako asks Tommy what a morpher is, and he tells her that he carries it around, not explaining exactly what it is. She then thinks that it was reckless for Sakura to attack the camerawoman like that. Okay...
Then he goes on to reveal a dream he had about meeting different people, one of which was searching for the right person to help him. They wonder exactly who the hero will be, and Tommy is still left wondering about Aka Red's appearance. If he isn't the hero, then who will it be?
the writer selected Carter, Conner, or T.J. Or give a better explanation about why he eventually selected his chosen one.
The Rangers reunite...but the first thing they talk about when they finally meet up after God knows how many years? Love interests! No, not them trying to figure out what they need to do or how they can adapt (or, for that matter, why the hell they're speaking Japanese), but rather shit no one cares about.
Also, Jason somehow had a relationship—sort of, too. It's time to play "Guess What's Wrong with This Fucking Scene."
Jason: "But to be honest, I nearly got engaged to a Japanese girl who refused her father's handpicked fiancÚ for her. But in the end I refused because it'd be a rush marriage. I hardly knew her."
First, it's "rushed", not "rush". Secondly...when the fuck
have you been engaged? There isn't any mentions of a time nor anything else!
Anyway...the scene ends with Tommy still
not getting over his love for Kimberly. Hey, you know who he reminds me of? Fucking Andros with his obsession over his sister. Yes, that's right, even the pairings are now of whatever Akizuki can think of. Canon be fucking damned.
Cut to Hoji, Jasmine, Takeru, and Sakura apologizing to Jason and Trini. Sakura decides to buy the original Yellow Ranger a camera—luckily, the memory card, some-fucking-how, was in one piece. And Trini replies with this.
Trini: "Good thing the memory card is still in one piece."
Department of Redundancy Department much?
As for Takeru, he thought that Jason was an alien working for Abrella. Jason responds by stating that their world has been attacked by monsters—wait. How would he know this? Screw it, moving on.
: Jason wonders what, exactly, their new allies are. He also thinks that this is a world where they don't exist. Actually, Jason, speaking from experience here, while it's true that there are some worlds where other people don't exist, who's to say that there can be an Other somewhere that isn't necessarily a Sentai Warrior?
Hoji continues by saying that they are the Super Sentai. And he tells the Rangers that they need help in order to defeat the all-new U.A.O.H. Also, do you know how long the Sentai Warriors defended the Earth? 37 years.
Allow me to check my calculations. (does so) WRONG! Counting Gokaiger
, the Sentai Warriors defended the earth for approximately 35 years. (The missing year is due to the Japanese Spider-Man taking all the credit.)
And Hoji had to repeat that the Rangers are but a shadow of them. Fucking seriously? We get it, the Rangers are inferior to the Sentai Warriors. Especially with certain Ranger teams.
They talk about the U.A.O.H some more, and Hoji states a shockingly good revelation: in the past, there were some villains who had either Mooks or Monsters of the Week to impersonate them and destroy their reputation. After talking a bit, Zordon speaks up.
What does he have to say about this shocking revelation?
Zordon: "I thought they were destroyed when I supposedly destroyed myself to rid of them. I guess I'm back because they're back in a new incarnation of evil beyond our imaginations. Now they're truly an alliance of evil."
...what. That's the explanation? Zordon was reincarnated because the Sentai and Ranger villains were revived? How—but—wha—how does that shit even work?! And "now they're truly an alliance of evil"? Gee, we can pretty much guess that by the fucking name!
Zordon, do you really need another tube with filters that can be replaced? I can guess that due to his reincarnation, he's pretty senile, but that would sound very insensitive.
And Tommy has to repeat about his dream about five Sentai Warriors (and Aka Red—for that matter, why aren't that Warrior and Banba mentioned? Then again, I'm talking about the guy who has the nickname of "Mr. Swiss Cheese Memory" himself, so I'll let that slide), and how the U.A.O.H has been reformed under new management.
Dear Mr. Akizuki. We're not stupid. Quit fucking repeating what we already know. Thanks.
And now, it's flashback time! S.P.D
fans may recognize Tetsu's origin story to, obviously, be similar to Sky Tate's. And vice versa for the Dekaranger
crowd. So to summarize, Numa-O tells Hoji's mom that her husband has been killed in action, and the little boy dreams of becoming Deka Blue in honor of his dead dad.
...it would normally be sweet, except...this, thanks to Psyga pointing it out, is a huge research fail. Just...bwuh? You should have Tetsu remember it.
Cut to when Hoji's an adult, and his mom protests. The young man states that he already made a promise to become the next Deka Blue—he's going to go for his dream.
The flashback ends, which means, it's time to ruin the rest of the chapter with needless shit.
Ryu tells everyone to take some time in roaming in the base for a while, for tomorrow, the real work begins. Also, he's rich. Will that make much of a difference to the plot? Hell no.
: We head back to the U.A.O.H, where Radiguet, annoyed by the failures—despite countless deaths—has Abrella and Trakeena kneeling before him. Tranza is much too open, but Radiguet tells him to kneel. And he punishes them by using deadly lightning.
...yeah, you know what? RINO is Emperor Palp—wait, no, even Palpatine has more dignity than this outrageous monster-child.
As a few jeer Trakeena, Long feels that she shouldn't be removed quite yet. As for Tranza? Well, his punishment was justified, considering that he is higher than everyone but RINO...and yet, he gets punished early on. Not a very good move.
Trakeena and Abrella beg for forgiveness, and Tranza, because I have no idea why the fuck RINO wanted him to do it in the first place, has to say his Emperor's name. RINO dismisses them, telling them that they must think of how they can serve him better. You're kidding, right? It's likely that the minions will only be weak so that RINO can destroy them because...the story and the writer said so.
The scene ends with Trakeena, Abrella, and Tranza plotting to take over. Who'll get the throne?
And...hey, guess what? Remember what I said about the author's distaste of everything Bruce Kalish? It's still going on!
: Elsewhere in the fortress, a man with ice powers lands on the ground. This is Flurious, and he is far from the Flurious that plots, sits on his throne, and eventually succeeds in taking the crown.
Because this one was trying to be written as annoying. Instead, he comes off as a lovable dork.
: Flurious looks around, deciding that he will gain entrance so he can defeat the Overdrive Rangers—or "Overdorks", as he says.
Okay, I admit it. That was actually pretty funny.
And yes, his speech patterns are in Japanese. Okay, why the hell does this keep happening?
: Flurious recognizes what he thinks are his Fearcats. Instead, Gai and Rei take him to Ryuon, who is not happy to see the Overdrive villain around. Flurious thinks that Ryuon is Moltor, trying to talk to him a bit, but the villain hits the iceman hard.
Dude! O__O That's just...
: ...yeah...let's move on...
Anyway, after a bit, Radiguet In Name Only looks at Flurious, and the latter wishes to serve the U.A.O.H. The emperor thinks that...dear God...torture would work on him. For his pleasure. Yeah, no wonder why many are planning to destroy him.
To make it a long scene short, RINO plans to revive Gaja—question, if he has that stupid crystal, why can't he do it himself? Told you it would never be brought up again—and he chooses Ryuon and Flurious for the mission. After Flurious thanks RINO for the chance, and some arguments, the team leaves.
Okay, as always, I'll try to summarize the scenes a bit, so bear with me. With the exception of Eiji, the Boukengers head to the ocean, where they'll find the area in which Gaja will be revived. Meanwhile, a certain first Pink Ranger has arrived in the Sentai Universe—and yes, you guessed it, she's speaking Japanese.
I'm starting to wonder if Japanese = universal language of the Super Sentai world, according to Akizuki. Because I know that it always doesn't work that way.
Like the other Rangers, Kimberly has had a vision of Mei, her counterpart, and Hikaru Katsuragi, Pink Five. Oh, and before I go on, did you know that in addition to being a gymnast, she's also an idol singer? That's because of Actor Allusion. After all, As You Know, Amy Jo Johnson was a singer in addition to acting.
And the U.A.O.H strikes again, this time with Shizuka leading with Igaroids and Grinams. Kimberly fights a losing battle until—you guessed it!—Trini arrives to save the day.
With a fucking Rider Kick. Presumably.
I got nothing.
So Kimberly and the Rangers are reunited, but there's no time to catch up now. Tommy morphs into Zeo Ranger V, and the other Rangers and Dekarangers morph/henshin, too. Needless to say, they beat Shizuka and her army.
After Kimberly learns about the brand-spanking-new U.A.O.H, she decides to join the fight. Jasmine ships her and Tommy because the author believes that they should be together, and they head back to the New Skybase.
Meanwhile, at the temple, the Boukengers fight their way as Ryuon, Flurious, and Yaiba head to where they need to be. They see a puzzle of some sort...and then Flurious has the brilliant idea of rearranging it to its right form.
But guess what? Instead of him being praised, Ryuon berates Flurious! For fuck's sake...he didn't do anything wrong! He was taking one for the team! Idiots...
Then...a rumble. Gaja, now henceforth Pope Hat, is revived. Cue Mass Oh Crap from the Boukengers. Ryuon explains to Pope Hat that they must work together should they want to beat the Boukengers. And yes, it means having to team up with Dark Shadow and the Questers.
Before Gaja makes his lack of a decision, the Boukengers enter...and Flurious has to fall down. Ugh. You know, this whole degrading the villain thing...seriously?
The fight begins, and it happens just as quick as you think. The Boukengers prepare to use Acceltector, but then Ryuon uses an exploding fireball towards them, allowing Flurious and all members of the Negative Syndicate to escape.
But what you lose in...whatever, you win in...whatever else. Why? Bulk and Skull are left stranded in the waters. Oh, and they notably don't
speak in Japanese.
See, shitfic? Wasn't that so hard? You don't have to give all the Rangers Japanese voices in order for them to communicate with the Sentai Warriors. Hell, it would have been a lot easier if Akizuki kept the Rangers' voices as-is and had a Sentai Warrior be a translator!
Anyway, the Boukengers rescue them, and Skull falls in love with Sakura. Which will not be explored. NEXT!
Kimberly explores the New Skybase and reunites with Zordon and Alpha 5. They give her the morpher back, and—get this—she couldn't believe that he was Zordon until he spoke in his old, sage-like voice. So...I guess the Rangers speak Japanese only towards the Sentai Warriors? In fact, there are a ton of Fridge Logic involving that little tidbit.
- Why are the Rangers speaking Japanese, anyway?
- How did they get a mastery of the language?
- Do the Rangers speak Japanese only if they're in the Sentai Universe, sorta like a Fisher Kingdom of sorts?
- For that matter, can they speak English?
And lots more.
Anyway, while Jason and Trini look at a meteor, Tommy prepares to talk with Kimberly. However, Aya has her file out paperwork and leads her to her new room. She notes about how awesome and stuff it is to be on the same side...and apparentally, there has been the whole "who's better: American or Japanese entertainment?" thing. To the point where she punishes her son for that.
The chapter ends with Kimberly, after taking a shower (because fanservice—don't worry, you'll see a lot of that!), thinking that there is a reason why she broke up with him. She never met anyone in Florida after all, that all of it was a fabricated lie. And then she wears her combat gear, like Johnson's character in Flashpoint
did, and...it ends.
Well, four chapters down. And we're just getting started with them. Can the Rangers and Sentai Warriors team up to take down the U.A.O.H?
: Who will the U.A.O.H recruit next?
: And will Flurious show that he isn't as "imcompetent" as everyone else thinks?
Emergency Signal, Now, Forward! To the next liveblogging of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers!