Note: To help distinguish between the two BellaDonnas — the previous BellaDonna and the current one — the previous BellaDonna will be called "the Queen" and the current BellaDonna will be Ladonna or the BellaDonna.
The flashback ends with Creamy and the BellaDonna inches apart.
"Cremalatta Defacake," the BellaDonna answered.
Her maiden name was going to be Poopserpants, but Tyra decided it was too juvenile.
Tookie is upset that her mother never told her about being a Bella, but Creamy just tells her to get over it. Tookie asks her mother if that's why she knew that Myrracle would be chosen.
One: This has never been mentioned before. If this is supposed to be common knowledge, we should have been told before now. Otherwise, it just seems like it wasn't planned and just pulled out of thin air.
Two: Tookie should also have close to 100% chance of being chosen, since she is also Creamy's daughter. Which would mean that the BellaDonna wouldn't have to mess with the roster to get Tookie in.
Three: I thought models weren't allowed to date at all. Why would Ci~L have practically attacked Tookie earlier for being with Bravo if dating Bestosterone Boys is allowed?
Four: Why are they only allowed to date other models? Is it some kind of eugenics program for models?
Five: So Bellas are allowed to have children with Bestosteros, but they aren't allowed to love? I'd compare it to Nineteen Eighty Four, but I think that would be giving this book too much credit.
We start our next flashback.
Ladonna, Percy and Latta are backstage at a fashion show. They are preparing while disembodied hands are dressing them. Ladonna's unnamed boyfriend sneaks in to see her under the guise of delivering things.
How do you secretly spin someone around?
Ladonna introduces him as "the first and only love of my life," presumably so we'll spend the rest of the chapter wondering his name.
Percy tells the unnamed man that anyone who makes Ladonna happy makes her happy.
Tookie asks what rule this is, and Ci~L says that Bellas are not allowed to date a civilian, calling it their cardinal rule. So it's a cardinal rule that Tookie hasn't been taught? And she's expected to be able to follow it?
As the fashion show is getting ready to start, the boyfriend assures Ladonna that she'll be wonderful. He asks her if he ever told her that she has the voice of an angel.
QUIT USING THE WORD "SWOON"!
Ladonna and Percy are at the front of the fashion show line-up, so they hurry ahead. Cremalatta is still being dressed (undressed?).
She asks him if he knows it's wrong to date Ladonna, and he calls it a stupid rule. Cremalatta does an obvious seduction attempt — yay for hypocrisy! — which makes the boyfriend uncomfortable enough that he jumps up on a low beam to get farther away from her.
Gee, ya think? At this point, it's obvious what broke up Cremalatta's and Ladonna's friendship.
We switch to a new scene, with Ladonna throwing up in a bathroom stall while Percy stands outside. Percy suggests that Ladonna sing to help cure her aches and pains. Percy is a moron.
Ladonna sits on the toilet with a groan.
That is the most laughably inaccurate description of childbirth I've ever read. Mothers everywhere wish childbirth was that quick and easy.
Then Ladonna's mother, the Queen arrives, knocking on the door and demanding to be let in.
Hate to break it to you, but newborns do not look like that. They are covered in blood and other fluids, have heads that look elongated, and tend to be dark red or purple when born. Oh, yeah. And you completely forgot little things like the umbilical cord and the placenta. And babies are born naked, so they should know the baby is a girl. (Spoilers!)
Ladonna says that she doesn't know how this happened. Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much . . .
She's a model. The weight gain should have been incredibly noticeable.
The Queen BellaDonna breaks down the door and demands they give the baby to her. Ladonna asks how her mother knew she was pregnant.
"A mother always knows," she said icily.
Bull crap.
The Queen says the baby is from a common civilian, and Ladonna insists that she loves him and he isn't common. The Queen says there's no room for love in Modelland. She then tells Ladonna that she'll give the baby to "its father."
She then tells Persimmon that she's no longer a Bella because she wrapped the baby in her "sacred Sentura."
That cult with the horribly misspelled name? Not explained in this chapter.
Percy takes the only other option available, becoming a Mannecant, so she won't have to go back home.
Creamy accused the BellaDonna of ruining Percy's life by "making her part of your problems."
Oh, yeah. Because the Queen was obviously being perfectly reasonable. Are you stupid, Creamy?
"I had no choice!" a third voice rang out.
Persimmon says that she couldn't go back, saying something about not being about to go back. (Like I said, we get no explanation of the cult.)
We then move to another scene. Unlike the first time we saw the Flashback Females work, this time, it isn't the person who gets to choose the memory. The Females seem to be doing it for them. I guess because Tookie asked them to.
We switch to Ladonna's boyfriend picking up a basket with his baby inside — something that no one in the room was present for — and does some acrobatic moves that makes Tookie think that the man might be her father.
Ladonna's boyfriend then puts the baby in a shoe . . . how it fits, I'll never know.
I know that man!
The BellaDonna's boyfriend—the father of her child—wasn't Chris-Crème-Crobat.
He was ... Wingtip.
Remember the guy who got like one scene earlier in the book? The homeless man who gave Tookie advice about how everyone deserves to dream? Wingtip is that guy. His real name is Ray Faye.
Ray has his own house and is shown caring for a baby without any obvious financial problems. Even though he's in a town with a large poor population. So we have another serious issue - teen pregnancy - that exists but isn't really dealt with. Typical.
They enter yet another flashback. There are three days until the 7Seven Tournament. Ladonna is feeling sick because she can't see her baby. She says she has to go now.
Ladonna ignores this sensible advice and says she's going and asks Latta to go with her. Latta points out the aging barrier, and Ladonna says since she's royalty she can just reverse it. Latta asks her to undo the aging immediately afterwards, but Ladonna tells her to just keep moving because the Divide is deadly.
They arrive at the home of Ray and baby a few hours later. Because it's not like it was established earlier that it takes months to cross the Divide. Oh, wait.
Ray tells her he doesn't care what she looks like (mentioning he's always loved her voice more than her face).
Ladonna goes to get formula, because I guess Ray hadn't bothered to do that. Ladonna is having trouble seeing because the aging barrier gave her cataracts.
As soon as Ladonna is gone, Cremalatta sneaks inside. She hikes her skirt up and calls for Ray, while disguising her voice. Ray, who loves Ladonna most for her voice, falls for it. Ray comes in the room with the baby. He sees Cremalatta and sets the baby down.
I didn't mistype that last sentence. That glaring mistake appeared in a published novel.
"Get off of me, you nasty-ass, sick girl!" Ray screamed.
He tries to get away, but Cremalatta is too strong for him to fight. She also knees him in the groin. She then kisses him and unbuttons her shirt, telling him to say she's more beautiful than Ladonna. All while aged to look like a grandma.
Have fun with that mental image!
As narrative law dictates, Ladonna returns at that precise moment. The store was out of formula, so she bought milk instead. Which is really bad for a newborn, by the way.
Ray tells Cremalatta to get off him. Ladonna arrives, dropping the milk jug in shock when she sees the two. Cremalatta then flips so that Ray is on top of her and acts like he was going after her. Ladonna is somehow able to make out the two figures but unable to see the sudden movement.
Ladonna doesn't bother hearing the whole story. She instantly concludes that Ray is in the wrong.
Then Modelland security arrives, and everyone gets dragged back to Modelland. One of the guards calls a civilian getting involved with a Bella a "sick and punishable offense."
We switch to the Queen talking to Ladonna, saying that since Ladonna is royalty, she gets a choice. She can choose to leave Modelland and be with her baby and boyfriend, relinquishing all her Modelland privileges in the process and will never be de-aged. Or she can come back to Modelland, get her beauty back, and never see Ray or her baby again.
Gee, that doesn't sound incredibly selfish.
Ladonna chooses her looks, but says her only condition is that her boyfriend not raise the baby. Ray is dragged away, the Queen telling him that the baby doesn't belong to him anymore.
The Queen refuses to de-age Cremalatta. Ladonna tries to get her mother to reconsider, but is quickly cut off.
At least this gives some hope for poor Desperada's condition. She may look much older, but her lifespan wasn't reduced, if Creamy is anything to go by.
Creamy then reveals that Ray had been resisting her.
Ladonna tells her mother that she's changed her mind, but the Queen refuses to let her change her choice. She points out that Percy was more loyal to her than Cremalatta. (Well, duh. And you punished her, too, so I fail to see why that matters.)
The Queen tells Ladonna that her eyesight will remain poor so she'll remember what she did, and that she'll never be allowed to see her baby again.
So the BellaDonna is Ci~L's mother.
The person who has been TORTURING Ci~L for months is Ci~L's mother.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but the Queen was in the right for taking the BellaDonna's daughter away from her. If she's willing to torture Ci~L for months just for defying her authority, imagine how she would done during the terrible twos.
Comments
Gee, that doesn't sound incredibly selfish.
