Welcome to the Sporking
Ah, fantasy. It contains everything from the expansive world-building of Tolkien, to the pun-filled fluff of Xanth
, to the formulaic but awesome Belgariad
, to the gritty world of the Dresden Files
. I've been reading books of fantasy and mythology as long as I can remember, and I still love finding a new fantasy world to explore.
But for every fantasy epic, there are a hundred mediocre tomes. For every thrilling adventure, there is a snooze fest. For every gem, a piece of compost cleverly masquerading as a book.
Which will it be? You never know until you read them.
Or - in the case of Modelland
by Tyra Banks - until you look at the title and cover.
An Introduction to the Author
I will now share everything I know about Tyra Banks.
Tyra Banks is a model. She's been on at least one TV show about modeling. She was in the Hannah Montana Movie. She recently wrote and published a book titled Modelland
. . .
Oh, and her name is derived from the Old Norse word for "Thor."
Demographics and Me
I saw Modelland
described as both teen and young adult fiction, so the target demographic is presumably 13-25 year old girls. In theory, I should be in the target demographic. In reality, I'm so far out of the target demographic, I need the Hubble to catch a glimpse of them.
What I know about fashion could fit on an index card. I wear Christmas socks year round, have no qualms about wearing purple sweatpants with an orange t-shirt, and would rather go to the dentist than go shopping for clothes.
I didn't want to be a princess or a model when I was a kid. I wanted to be a Power Ranger or a Saiyan or a member of the U.S.S. Enterprise.
I spent years rejecting all things girly while embracing media aimed at boys and men. Since then, I've learned that my knee jerk reaction to media aimed at girls and women was incredibly unfair. Recently, I've learned to enjoy media aimed at girls. I've learned that just because something is feminine, cutesy or girly doesn't mean it's bad. In light of that, I am willing to give Modelland
A snowball's chance, but a chance nonetheless.
This is a blind liveblog. I will be liveblogging each chapter as I read it, while doing my best to avoid spoilers. I am not allowed to start a chapter until I finished the one before it. I may continue on to the next chapter before posting
, but I'll at least have a draft of that chapter's post done before continuing on.
Next time, we'll start at the very beginning.
Before the Beginning
I steal furtive glances around the room. The lunch room is empty. Too early for any witnesses. Even so, I hold one arm in place to shield my Kindle from anyone who might enter and see what I am about to do.
I type the word slowly. Modelland.
My breakfast threatens to crawl up my throat. My finger strays to the "back" button. It would be so easy to turn back now. To pretend I never considered it.
But try as I must, I cannot turn away. It beckons me like a flame beckons a moth. I try to banish my desires to eviscerate it. To ignore the desire to quench the lust of my spork. But I am no longer in control. IT
has me, and there is no escape.
With a trembling hand, I hit the enter key.
I pray that my family never learns of my shame.