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Live Blogs Let's Play Kingdom Hearts: 9 Years Too Late
MousaThe142011-06-07 17:48:44

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I lost to evil shadow me the first time because my friend insisted I go for the head because I get more exp that way. problem is that Kingdom Hearts's platforming sucks so much I can barely walk up shadow me's arms when I'm supposed to. I had a hard time doing that with the second battle but less so, I made more hits to the head, and thanks to my training with Wakka, I was totally able to hit back his attacks at him.

In short, I won, and now I'm sucked into a vortex for my troubles, which makes my entire fight with evil shadow me entirely pointless.

Scene change to Donald Duck and Goofy watching a star go out. Which probably means that Sora's family, the Final Fantasy Trio, and the whole island has been obliterated. That's pretty depressing.

Oh well no time to lament, Sora's too stupid to care about the loss of his family and friends, Donald Duck and Goofy are here! Welcome to Traverse town, a town so empty you have to wonder why it's called a town at all. The bumbling fools are stil trying to find this key and are going to see some guy named Leon but good ol' Pluto finds Sora.

seriously, how lucky does this Sora brat have to be? But seems that every opportunity for his imminent destruction turns out to just him being somehow mysteriously be given something or transported somewhere. I wish for the day he is replaced by Mickey and I can have a proper Disney action RPG with Mickey, Donald , and Goofy traversing the Disney multiverse trying to save it form great evils such as the Phantom Blot, Pete with a level in badass with his sniveling The Dragon Mortimer Mouse.

Oh well.

You know for someone who was just thrust from the destruction of his home and had to fight his evil dark self, you'd think Sora would be more concerned with why the dog he just met has a completely different art style from him.

Yes Sora, you are in a different world, but how the hell would you know that? For all you know you could've washed up on a different island. Waitaminute... Is that Tidus in the middle of the town square in arguably better clothes? why doesn't Sora recognize him? Why does that woman have to explain things to me? WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SMALL WHITE THING!?

I think 'll use the Pokemon principle and call it a Kupo. They're Square Enix creatures clearly since I doubt such things would ever appear in any Disney canon.

You know this game makes it too danged obvious who the final fantasy people are and who the Disney people are. I mean really, all the Final fantasy or Final Fantasy-esque people stick out like sore thumbs it's not even funny. Tidus-clone and Sora match the Traverse Town scenery like a black person matches a KKK meeting.

I like that The Traverse town directional signs are gloves pointing.

Okay some things I've found, there are these red and blue spots on the walls and ground that look important but don't do anything. There's this barely hidden blue door/chest thing with a giant keyhole on it and there's an unopenable treasure chest. This means I'll have to go find the supplies I need to open these things during the game and come back to Traverse town.

I enter the accessory shop and find some blond guy who is clearly from the Squeenix side of things. Say, wasn't he in the Final Fantasy VII movie? His name is Cid? How the hell do you pronounce that? It can't be Kid or they would've just wrote "Kid". and it can't possibly be pronounce "Sid" because that's already a nickname short of Sydney. What the heck do I call this guy? S Kid?

S Kid apparently can read minds, how the hell did he know Sora was from an island?

Also S Kid apparently has a habit of leaving his treasure chests filled with valuable mythril shards on window panes for... some... reason.... I don't think I should put my faith in you S Kid if you can't even keep your valuables from being stolen by some brat you just met.

I enter the nearby item shop and see... HUEY! DEWY ! LOUIE! Boy am I glad to see... you... Kids? Perhaps it's because I'm more familiar with the Quack Pack cartoon but where are my three personality-diverse teenaged Huey, Dewy, and Louie? And why are these three kids running an item store? and why the hell is Sora not freaked out by three child sized talking ducks? Lemmie guess, when you've seen giant shadows of yourself trying to kill you you've basically seen everything?

So I decide that sicne I have nothing to worry about I'll leave this First District and enter the Second District. Such creative names. And I'm betting there's a Third District too. And I shouldn't get my hopes up, but if my hypothesis is correct, there might even be a Fourth District.

Ugh

So yeah, some apparently gets his heart swallowed up by a silly looking heartless in a knight costume. Sorry Buddy, the Renaissance fair was last weekend.

And now I get attacked by more heartless. And all this group attacks by mooks make me yearn for the music of Ron Wasserman during the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers days. In fact, I'll pull some up right now to make the fight more interesting. As the rangers screamed back in the day "PUTTIES!"

Comments

X2X Since: Dec, 1969
Jun 7th 2011 at 5:36:17 PM
The white creatures that go "Kupo" are Moogles. Recurring element of the Final Fantasy franchise. And yes, Cid's name is pronounced "Sid".

Also, you're in the minority. Quack Pack didn't have a good reception with fans.

Don't get ahead of yourself with that District theory of yours. :P
angelistoftenshi Since: Dec, 1969
Jun 7th 2011 at 6:04:31 PM
Well, if you paid attention, the reason why Cid knows you're from an island is because Sora told him. Notice how there's s pause somewhere? Yeah, that's the part where Sora basically told him his life story, it just got skipped.
MousaThe14 Since: Dec, 1969
Jun 7th 2011 at 6:06:56 PM
You call it a reasonable skip, I call it an incomprehensible cop out.
SomeColorMage Since: Dec, 1969
Jun 7th 2011 at 6:21:40 PM
And I call it "Do you really want to spend 10 minutes summarizing what you've just played through?" It's the better alternative, really.
MousaThe14 Since: Dec, 1969
Jun 7th 2011 at 6:33:44 PM
And all I'm saying is that other games had much more clear and less jarring transitions than what I was presented there. It wasn't clear to me Sora had just told his life story, I thought the designers decided they wanted a perspective change.
ManwiththePlan Since: Dec, 1969
Jun 7th 2011 at 9:06:26 PM
Er, it sounds to me like you'd like Epic Mickey....
MousaThe14 Since: Dec, 1969
Jun 7th 2011 at 9:09:04 PM
From what I learned about Epic Mickey, I would not.
twilightgamer92 Since: Dec, 1969
Jun 8th 2011 at 7:49:42 AM
Yeah first time I arrived in Traverse Town and saw the Tidus-clone I was like "woah, Tidus survived, where's everybody else, what happened to them?!" That would've been an interesting turn of events.
DisneyWarrior95 Since: Dec, 1969
Jan 19th 2012 at 12:37:59 PM
You know, speaking of Pete, he's in the second game...but he's not exactly what you'd expect him to be. In fact, he's known around here as Captain Butt-Zipper, if you catch my drift.
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