Well first we got snark about the lack of STD's.
Well our "intelligent" author couldn't find info of it. Tzezte then found info in about 5 minutes using The Other Wiki
Now, now, Haven, everyone knows syphilis came from the New World, so he couldn't include that.
Come on, of course there were no ST Ds
in the middle ages. Everyone knows ST Ds
didn't exist until the start of the gay rights movement. (Brian could say that.
Now let's go...
So here's the meat of the book. Let's see how horrid these rules really are. (WAAAAAAAHHHHH
Chapter 1: Race and Gender
You have the option of randomly choosing a race or choosing yourself. Because I have no experience with this game and little experience with tabletop RP Gs
, I'll generate one randomly.
The race chart lists about twenty races, and you roll a d100 to pick which one you are. Say, if you roll 01, you're an Anakim. 02-16, you're a Bugbear. (A bear made of bugs? A bear that's bug sized.
) 17-19, you're a black dwarf. 20, a brown dwarf. 21, a white dwarf. And so on and so forth. Nice to see that they're subverting Our Dwarves Are All the Same
. (Admittedly different dwarf races is cool.
) To roll a d100, you roll a d10 twice. I have a d20, so I'll just ignore the tens digit. Let's see what I come up with. (random.org is what I will use IN THE FUTURE
63. Apparently that means I'm a Kobold. Not sure how well a Kobold would play, but fine. The dice rule in this realm. Also, Kobolds apparently make up about of the overall population. (Trust me that will look dumb.
Something else they care to mention is that each race tends to behave a certain way. Players can deviate from this, but "caution must be observed." Not entirely sure what they mean there. Oh well.
There's also a drawing of all the races in the game. They're all nude. Why, I'm not sure. Is there a specific reason for them to be nude? (It's FATAL?
) Also, the human female is the only one attempting to cover herself. (I need a drink again.
) Another thing to note is that FATAL Kobolds are apparently a lot different than D&D Kobolds. D&D Kobolds are small, lizard creatures. FATAL Kobolds are pretty much humans, but a little shorter.
Anakim are the offspring of a human and a cacodemon.
This thing? (''He links to the cacodemon from Doom.)
OK, probably not. Anyway, an Anakim is a half-demon. It explains that an Anakim is a half-demon with an incubus father, and a Cambion is a half-demon with a succubus mother. Both are cacodemons. (Huh?
I also looked up Anakim on Wikipedia. Here's what I got.
Basically, Anakim are strong, big, *
About 8 feet tall
slightly lacking in common sense, and immoral. (Like every race in FATAL.
You also have to roll for ten effects that will apply to your character should you play an Anakim. There's one hundred possible effects in the table. (WAY TOO MANY
) Just for fun, let's roll some up.
- 22: The Anakim has a %2 chance of waking with bloodthirst. If so, then the Anakim must murder a creature and drink its blood within 24 hours. If the Anakim fails its bloodthirst, then all character within 1d100 feet will dream that night that the Anakim dismembers them and eats them. (HOWWWW!?)
- 01: The Anakim has absolute odds of reproduction. If male, then the Anakim will impregnate any female with whom he copulates. If female, then the Anakim will become pregnant by any male with whom she copulates.
- 39: The Anakim may cast Force Slumber once per day. Casting requires no chant, ingredient, or ritual. (I'm a Jedi.)
- 16: The Anakim suffers 1d10 LP of damage on contact with holy water.
- 06: The Anakim is cannibalistic, and eating vegetables will induce vomiting. (THAT'S A WRONG TERM.)
- 26: The Anakim is angered easily. Any attempt to intimidate this Anakim will result in the Anakim attacking with the intent to kill unless they pass a Drive check at TH 22.
- 12: The Anakim's veins are all visible near the surface of their skin, causing penalties of 1d10 to both Bodily Attractiveness and Facial Charisma. (That sucks.)
- 71: The Anakim has skin that reduces damage due to electricity by 50%. The skin does not seem abnormal when examined. (Rubber man.)
- 68: The Anakim may turn a handful of rocks into an equivalent weight in silver pieces once per week. (I am a sucky Midas.)
- 38: The Anakim has abnormal hatred for humans. Whenever within 1d100 feet of one, the Anakim must pass a Drive sub-ability check at TH 17 or attack with the intent to kill.
- 08: The Anakim causes babies to scream when present. If the Anakim touches a screaming baby, then the baby is 75% likely to urinate, 50% likely to defecate, and 25% likely to vomit. (... FUCK. THIS. GAME.) Thereafter, the Anakim may touch the child without such an occurrence for 1 day.
- 36: The Anakim is always accompanied by the gathering of 1d10 black birds near and above them.
This guy's life must be hell. (Like everyone here.
Again, there's about 20 races. We want to make a character, so I'll skip right to Kobolds.
Apparently Kobolds are smallish people (4' 6" for males) ((Not that small...
)) who have silvery skin. Because of this, they love silver and will do anything to get it. They usually operate mines. They don't work in them, just operate them. They have slaves do the dirty stuff. They prefer humans for some reason. Slaves are made to never stand, because this means the Kobolds will always be above them. (I guess that makes sense...
Unfortunately, the game doesn't have any tables for the Kobolds like it does for the Anakim. I guess we'll have to put our guy aside for now.
I think I'll stop here. Next time: Racial Hatred!