We start with Cluny in a foul temper, because the horse stopped moving. Jacques notes that Cluny is both violent and unpredictable. He calls up Skullface, the expendable mook of the chapter, to bite the horse on the ass to get it moving again. Whan Skullface mentions that that would be, oh, I dunno, suicinde, he gets whipped.
- “Mutiny, insubordination!” Cluny roared. “By the teeth of hell, I'll flay you into mangy dollrags.”
There is also mentioned a Drivers' seat, another remnant of the pre-continuity drift era.
- Skullface performed a frantic leap. He landed on the horse's back. The terrified animal did not wait for the rat to bite. As soon as it felt the loathsome scratching weight descend on its exposed haunches, it gave a loud panicked whinny and bucked. Spurred on by the energy of fright it careered off like a runaway juggernaut.
Bitch!
- Skullface performed a frantic leap. He landed on the horse's back. The terrified animal did not wait for the rat to bite. As soon as it felt the loathsome scratching weight descend on its exposed haunches, it gave a loud panicked whinny and bucked. Spurred on by the energy of fright it careered off like a runaway juggernaut.
Sorry. Anyway, Skullface falls to his doom. See? Expendable mook.
- “Tell the devil Cluny sent you, Skullface!”
That's two mentions of the devil (one I didn't include) and one mention of hell.
- Down in Cavern Hole the great feast had slackened off.
- So had a lot of belts!
Doh-Ho-Ho!
Mortimer sends Hugo to discreetly deliver some food to the Churchmouse family. Who apparently live in poverty in the woods when they'd totally be allowed to live at Redwall till they and have all the food they want till they die.
Cornflower and Matthias hit it off, largely because Tim and Tess are really cute. No, seriously. Colin Vole (who I remember being very annoyed at) remarks that they act like a married couple.
- Brother Alf reprimanded him sharply. “Here now, you keep a latch on that silly tongue of yours, Colin Vole! Don't you know that someday Matthias will be a Redwall mouse? And don't let me hear you slandering young Cornflower. She's a decent mouse from a good family. Mark my words, Master Vole, I could say a thing or two to your mum and dad. Only last evening I saw you playing 'catch the bulrush' with that young harvest mouse. What was her name now?”
So... Not only does he say that Matthias can't get married and be a mouse of Redwall at the same time. He says that Cornflower is not a slut, and mocks Colin for playing with a girl? Logical progression? What's that? How did I understand this when I was little? Sorry for the Sidetrack.
Mortimer calls Matthias over, hands him a staff and asks him to go with Constance to escort the Churchmice home.
- ''The young mouse needed no second bidding. Drawing himself up to his full height, he saluted in a smart military fashion. “Leave it to me, Father Abbot. Old Constance is a bit slow-thinking. I'll take complete responsibility.”
The Abbot shook with silent laughter as he watched Matthias march off with a soldier-like swagger.
Flip flop, flip flop; he tripped and fell flat on his tail.''
What can possibly go wrong? Also:
- Fancy Cornflower's family living so close to the Churchmouse brood! Matthias was only too glad to offer them a lift home.
- Would Miss Cornflower like to sit next to him?
- She most certainly would!
So he's going to guard the cart from the inside. Makes perfect sense.
- Cornflower's parents sat inside the cart, her mum helping Mrs. Churchmouse with the little ones, while her dad chatted away with John Churchmouse as they shared a pipe of old bracken twist.
Smoking? Srsly? This is now a YA book.
Hugo gives Mrs. Churchmouse a big sack of "tablecloths" that she "loaned" the abbey. Hey, Jacques can be subtle when he wants to be. Constance pulls the cart along, and Matthias waves to Methuselah, who as his name implies, is remarkably old. What, could his parents see the future or something? That's 4 male mice whose names begin with M. This will not go away anytime soon, I assure you.
We actually get a glimpse into Cornflower's head, while she dozes on Matthias' shoulder and considers what this "Summer of the Late Rose" means.
- Normally it was in full red flower by now, but this year, for some unknown reason, it had chosen to flower late. It was covered in dormant young rosebuds, even now, well into June — a thing that happened only infrequently, and usually heralded an extra-long hot summer. Old Methuselah could only remember three other such summers in his long lifetime.
History. I hate it, but I just got reminded of something that I'll keep shut up for now. I'll just say that having read all of the books, I can tell he was obviously planning to continue.
- The old cart rolled on gently, down the long dusty road. They were now over halfway to the ruined Church of St. Ninian where John Churchmouse lived, as had his father, grandfather and great-grandfather before him.
Ditto this.
- Matthias had fallen into a deep slumber. Even Constance was unable to stop her eyelids drooping.
Hey, don't sleep and... pull carts.
- Suddenly, and without warning, they were roused by the thunder of hooves.
A horse!? Oh dear...
Luckily, she finds a hole in the hedge (there was a hedge?) to push the cart into, while Matthias gets a good look at Cluny laughing madly as the cart thunders by.
Also:
- ''“What in heaven was it?”
- “What in hell, more like.”
Mentions of Heaven et. al: 1
Mentions of Hell et. al: 4
- "Aye, and that one on the back! He looked like the Devil himself.”
Mentions of Hell et. al: 5
They decide to head back to the Abbey instead of continuing after the cart.
Chapter 6
- The horse had gotten away safely.
... never to be seen again. What happened? Well:
- Bolting recklessly from side to side down the road, the blinkered animal failed to see the twin stone gateposts on its right — skidding crazily, the cart smashed into the uprights. There was a loud splintering of shafts as the horse careered onwards, trailing in its wake reins, tracers and shattered timber.
Note that Cluny leapt straight over the ditch, while the cart falls in.
- “Redtooth! Darkclaw! Report to me or I'll have your skulls for skittles.”
Taste the Rainbow (is shot)
The two he calls come and give a status report. A bunch of people died, some are injured and...
- “Old Wormtail has lost a paw."
Lol Jacques can see the future! Anyway, Cluny cares not and calls for an assembly.
- “Right, cock your lugs up and listen to me,” Cluny snarled. “First, we've got to find out where we have docked. Let's take a bearing on this place.”
Where'd Cluny learn to speak Facebook Pirate?
- "Cheesethief!”
... There's a rat named Cheesethief.
He also sends a crew of fity to recruit more soldiers for his cause.
- Take fifty soldiers and see if you can round up any rats that know the lie of the land... don't stand for arguments. Smash their dens up so they won't have homes to worry about. If any refuse to join up, then kill them there and then. Understood?
Cluny does not screw around.
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