Greetings, Earthlings. I haven't uploaded this in a while, but since I'm feeling particularly gluttonous for punishment, might as well!
She begins by saying how nervous she is to get married, which, if I were her, I'd feel more stupid and regretful for accepting the offer to get married to the guy who forcibly had sex with me in public and I've known for a week at most. Oh, and because of the last chapter and my protectiveness of my "lower organs" as Jen puts it, her saying how she FINGERS the dress makes me need to cross my legs and cringe because of it. Maybe it's just me and how I wouldn't trust anyone with my pencil, let alone my vagina, but... someone forcefully rushing their fingers in and out of the folds of it...
BAD IMAGES! BAD IMAGES!
Also, she goes out to describe how expensive and beautiful and wondrous and perfect and wish-fulfilling her wedding dress is, and it may just be the fact that I don't understand certain things about society, but I really have to wonder why you would put a ton of money into a dress that you'll wear only once your entire life, and I really love designing and looking at elaborate costumes! Anyway, she also gets a golden choker to complete how much everyone loves her and would give her anything she wants because she constantly excretes a gas that mind washes everyone into loving her. She mentions how Zelda braided her hair into a halo braid, which I guess is supposed to further hammer in how pure and holy she is. I'm gonna call it right now, Link or someone else is going to say, "Are you an angel?". Or, if I were in charge, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because your face is really fucked up."
I remembered that I'm supposed to be little missy constructive-criticism-pants here, so I might as well give Jen some writing advice while we're just spending entire paragraphs wasting time and making me wish I had something more worthwhile to do, but there's that indescribable force in my soul that's forcing me to keep on typing and endure the abuse because if I don't, I will prove myself as even weaker than I already am, since I'm already a coward. Okay, so as for writing advice, don't spend entire chunks of chapters describing dresses or anything else that doesn't contribute to the.... my god.
There's no plot to not contribute anything to.
Seriously, is there any tangible plot here? It's just Jenna and Link making googly eyes and boinking each other while everyone kisses Jenna's ass so much that their mouths permanently taste of farts and general human stenches. No, wait. Jenna doesn't have any negative qualities to her, so she doesn't ever stink or have any foul-smelling body odors, so their mouths smell like baby unicorns and rainbow sprinkle cakes! ...b-b-but you still get where I'm coming from with this right? This isn't even Slice of Life, Slice of Life has dilemmas taking place in ordinary life, Slice of Life has characters with actual personalities, Slice of Life usually doesn't make me want to write emo poetry on how much people don't care about ze arte!
I'm sorry, but I'll have to make another part to this, because my heart can't go on.
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