Oh, okay... this is a dream diary, sorta. That doesn't sound so bad... but, I musn't be lulled into a false sense of security. Also, who uses "queer" in that context? I know it originally meant "strange", but, good lord, when was this written? She also says that she's shared this story with many people and all of them had liked it. Er... you sure your friends weren't hittin' the bong when you were telling them the stories? She also states outright that this story goes up to Canon and basically says, "Get the hell out of my house!", and puts her, yes, her, not an original and interesting character, but her, in the spotlight.
Then it says that it contains adult themes like sex, strong language, violence, ect., ect.,... but that raises a very interesting and also very disturbing question. You don't see it? Well, how about I show you the creepy thing I noticed.
I have shared this story with many other people and so far all has liked it.
If your squeamish about sex, then you should not read this, since this story is a REAL LEMON and there is a lot of that, heavily detailed. (Between Link and I that is) Especially during the bonding ceremony.
all has liked it.
REAL LEMON
I rest my case.
So she continues to talk about how pwecious her twu wuv wid Winky isth! She even signs her name as "Link's Queen"! I'm fine with people finding fictional characters sexy or wanting to date them, but seriously, there comes a point where it stops being, "I'm attracted to this character", and it starts being, "I AM CREEPILY OBSESSED WITH HIM!!". Particularly, when you start to forget that their fictional and you start having creepy dreams about having sex with them.
In case you hadn't read the first part, she feels the need to repeat what has already been said. I will not listen to these warnings, I do not comprehend as to why, but my sick, twisted fascination and my high curiosity is driving me to madness if I do not read on. Okay, she says that she tries to make Jenna more rounded. Let's see if that's actually true or not.
Jen, I feel a strong need to explain why so many people yell at this story of yours. From the beginning, I can already tell that you hold this story way too close to your heart. In fact, it's probably so wedged into your heart that if it were removed from it, you'd most likely die. The first thing you must do when you write a story is try and distance yourself from the characters. Sure, you can give them a minor trait of yours, but please, for the love of god, don't make the character you. Or, if you do, don't make them overpowered and loved by everyone. Having only one of those traits alone is enough to make people sick to their stomachs, having both is just a recipe for disaster. If you plan to rewrite this, then you'd have to start from scratch. You know the main complaint of this story, Jen? Jenna. Jenna is the main complaint. Start by giving her a total rehaul. But hey, I haven't seen her yet, but, Jen, I guess I could give you the constructive criticism that you desire, if you happen to read this, which I doubt extremely.
Anyway, I think it's really ironic that you call us children when this is your Wish-Fulfillment fantasy put into words. Can you get any more childish? I mean, I had this Mary Sue character, Jordan the Hedgehog. She was Shadow, only pink and wore a t-shirt. Also, she had the spirit of Mephilis inside of her, and not only Sonic, but Shadow, E-102 Gamma, and this other recolor I made, Rylan, were in love with her. Oh, and did I mention she had all the powers of everyone, only even stronger? Yeah... I killed her off when I grew up an realized that, to write a good story, you must make something new, creative, interesting! Not just add yourself to an already established universe and make everyone love you. In fact, what I just said? That sounded like someone going to their happy place. Their fantasy where they're a god. Yeah, how is that not childish? Also, your pleads for me to not criticize you makes me think that you're very sad and pathetic, like you're one criticism away from having a nervous breakdown. If you don't want people to insult your work, like, you're that insecure, why even put it on the internet? Seriously, don't you know that people on the internet range from "mildly douchey" to "outrageous asshole"? I'm in the "extremely prone to typing in all caps at the smallest thing" territory.
Dear god, we haven't even scratched the surface and I feel a dreaded cloud is above us, already... this isn't a good sign of things to come.
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