Garfield: Quickie
Garfield is on a diving board, assembling it as Odie holds the board steady. He finishes, so it's time to fill the pool. ...It's really a very shallow pool to be using with a diving board. (Children, if you can stand in a pool and have your knees stay dry, don't dive into it. There is no reward, and the risk is your life. At the very least, you could break something. Very dangerous, indeed.) He fills the pool a ways from the board, which is very wise in that it means he'll get some exercise hauling a water-filled kiddie pool a few feet. He finishes, so they're ready to give it a try. Odie wants to be first, but Garfield wants it more. He plans to do a double-reverse, half-gainer somersault with a backwards roll, a forwards roll, and for dessert, a cinnamon roll. He jumps a couple of times before diving... onto the hard ground. He wants to check the assembly instructions. I want to know at what point this sighted cat thought he was jumping into water with the pool behind the ladder.
("Friends Are There")
"You notice how every week I say something different here?"
So far.
Garfield: The Caped Avenger
It's nighttime, and Jon is reading whilst stirring the contents of a pot. He discovers that the cheetah can run at speeds of up to 70 mph (112.65 km/h). He dishes some food up and says he can't believe a cat could move that fast. The instant he sets it down, however, Garfield proves even faster. As Garfield eats, Jon tells him he wants to keep the house clean, as a big comic book publisher is coming by to visit and see his new idea. Garfield finishes his serving, and ahems. Jon starts to say what could happen if the publisher buys it, but Garfield ahems again and points at Pooky the teddy bear. Jon points out what Pooky is, and refuses to feed a useless, unreal creature with no brain. Garfield points out Odie. Jon resignedly hands his portion over. Garfield offers it to Pooky, but Pooky supposedly doesn't like it, so it's up to Garfield to show him how good it is. He eats it in one gulp, then "hears" that Pooky is on a diet, and decides to eat Pooky's (Jon's) dessert for him: pie with whipped cream.
Jon is at his cartoonist's easel. He feels Mr. Mendelbaum has to like his cartoon, and decides to clean up before he gets here.
Garfield tells Pooky it's time for their after-dinner pre-snack nap. He sets the alarm on his clock. It has a fork and spoon for hands (What? No... seconds? (rimshot) ), and "snack" at the 12 and 6 positions, "dinner" at the 3 position, and dessert at the 9 position. Once he's asleep, Jon's silhouette sneaks in and takes Pooky away. Later, Garfield's clock goes off, and he hits it, making it bounce away. He yawns, and turns to tell Pooky it's time to get up... but Pooky isn't there! After looking around and under the bed, Garfield comes to the conclusion that Pooky is missing! He muses that things are usually in the stupidest place you look, and wonders where that might be. (Guess where he's going to look. Go on. Guess.) He encounters Odie, opens Odie's mouth, and looks inside. He's certain that foul play is involved, so he takes up the blanket of... The Caped Avenger! He figures he need a sidekick who's loyal, brave, and smart, but settles for loyal and brave in the form of Odie. He tries to think of a name. Odie slurps him, earing the moniker "Slurp". Slurp needs a costume, so he runs offscreen and comes back in a clown outfit. Garfield says he missed the point entirely.
They walk through what appears to be the laundry section of the kitchen. Garfield says they're hot on the trail. (If only he knew...) Nothing gets by him. Jon, washing dishes, says he put Pooky in the wash, but Garfield doesn't pay attention, and says no clue is too small. Jon says Pooky had lasagna stains on him. Garfield thinks whoever took him covered his trail well. (It's darkest underneath the laundry basket, it seems.)
The doorbell rings, and Jon predicts that it's Mr. Mendelbaum, and sets the dish aside and goes to the door.
Garfield hasn't seen any clues from the "master villain", and decides to check the refrigerator. He opens the door and finds it loaded with clues, or at least, that's the excuse he gives for raiding it, as a good detective "digests" every clue carefully. He reiterates to "Slurp" that he needs a costume, so Odie goes, then returns in a chicken suit. Garfield realizes he has yet to grasp the principle.
Garfield, who has finished investigating the food, is about to pursue another line of investigation, but we don't find out what, as he hears an unfamiliar voice telling Jon that he's afraid not, as he doesn't think any of those ideas are any good. We can see the pictures; if anyone can find a screenshot and notice any Take That! s that might be within the rejected concepts, go ahead and comment about them. Jon tries another idea: Buddy Bear, a cephalothoracid bearlike creature. Mr. Mendelbaum especially hates bears. Jon has other ideas to present.
Garfield calls for his sidekick. Odie appears in the doorway in a proper hero costume. Unfortunately, this means he's dressed better than the hero. Garfield decides he's found the mastermind, indicating Mr. Mendelbaum and describing his beady eyes and obvious criminal face. Odie thinks he means Jon, but Garfield says the other one. Jon gets up to get some refreshments. Mr. Mendelbaum is glad they got rid of that stupid-looking bear. Had he but known it, that was the wrong thing to say at this time. Garfield is horrified, but thinks it's possibly not too late.
Mr. Mendelbaum is musing about the new strips he sees being boring and old hat when Garfield leaps on him and starts giving him a typical superhero "caught you" speech. Mr. Mendelbaum asks what's going on here, and tells Garfield to get off him. He starts walking with Garfield still attached. Garfield refuses, at least until he tells him what he did with Pooky. Mr. Mendelbaum can't really see where he's going, and trips over Odie. Jon is carrying a pitcher of lemonade, glasses, and a pie on a tray. He asks Mr. Mendelbaum what's wrong just as he flies into him. The pie flies up, and comes down on Mr. Mendelbaum's head. (The lemonade, glasses, and tray are nowhere to be seen.) Garfield stands on him and asks if he's going to tell him what he did with Pooky, or if he has to get rough. Jon, from underneath this obese man, frowns at Garfield, says his name, and tells him to go take a nap and get out of their way... and take Pooky, fresh from the dryer, with him! Garfield is delighted to see him, and takes him. He knew The Caped Avenger would find him.
Jon apologizes to Mr. Mendelbaum, who has his toupee off. Mr. Mendelbaum, however, thinks "that" is a tremendous idea for a comic book. Garfield says he'll never let Pooky out of his sight again. Mr. Mendelbaum wants a comic book with a crime-fighting housepet. Garfield tosses Pooky aside, thinking he'll be a star. Jon asks if he'll be paid to draw it. Garfield leaps on the back of Jon's head and says he wants a cut of the gross, his own dressing room... Mr. Mendelbaum says a crime-fighting dog is a great idea, and asks if it's a deal. Garfield goes on for a couple more items before realizing what Mr. Mendelbaum said.
Odie poses as Jon draws him. Garfield says Pooky will be his new sidekick, as he doesn't upstage the hero. And he smells good.
Orson's Farm: Quickie
Orson, Wade, Sheldon, and Booker are standing at the corner of the barn. Wade wonders what's on the dark side of the barn. (Hay bales. Or possibly lumber. Or boxes. At any rate, it's broad daylight. Even the area within the shadow of the barn isn't that dark. They would be able to see it clearly.) Orson asks if they want to find out, they rushes away and returns in a dark trench coat. He calls himself Detective Pig, and offers to check it out. Sheldon thinks it could be dangerous, and Booker says no one has ever returned from there. (A slight "smile" indicates that they're pretending.) Orson pokes his head around... but when he turns back, his head is missing, and his arms are raised menacingly! The others scream and run off. He opens his trenchcoat, revealing that his head is, indeed, still connected to his body, and says it was just a joke, but they're gone.
Orson's Farm: Shy Fly Guy
It's winter, and Roy is coming out of his coop. He takes a deep breath of the frosty and proclaims the first day of winter and the first snow of the season. He remarks that he used to dislike snow, but can't remember why. He kicks his door closed and is quickly covered in it. He is thus reminded. Booker and Bo appear with shovels and start digging away.
Orson starts the tractor, and hears Wade voicing general dread. He's afraid of snow, unsurprisingly. Not only is it cold, but there are avalanches and blizzards. Orson points out that he also doesn't like sun or rain because of sunburns and floods, respectively. Wade suggests that they have no weather at all. Orson says he's going to clear some of the snow away, and offers Wade a ride. Of course, Wade is also afraid of tractors; what if it was in reverse. Orson irritatedly says he's not going to do that. Orson pulls the lever, and, after the tractor briefly bucks like a bronco, it speeds off in reverse. It misses Wade, but crashes into the barn. Thankfully, Orson was only jolted to the top of the seat and not farther back. Orson warns him not to say one word. Wade asks if he said anything.
Wade reiterates that he hates snow, especially when it's cold. He wonders why we couldn't have it in July.
Suddenly, a duck with big buck teeth drops out of the sky, scaring Wade. I guess Wade said the secret woid, so he wins $100.
The duck is wearing an aviator's cap and goggles, half-fingered gloves, and a pack on his back, and has an anemometer on his tail. He salutes and greets him as "cousin", identifies himself as Fred Duck, is glad to meet him, and says he has a nice place. Wade asks who he is. The duck laughs and says his name again. He also says he's flying south for the winter, offers to let him come along, and urges him to get a move on. Wade says he doesn't do that, and indeed, never flies. (Except into a panic.) This is hilarious to Fred, it seems. He's going to Florida to work on his tan... which isn't easy to do through feathers. He calls Wade a chicken, and takes off. Wade objects to the chicken part, and says he's going to fly. He promptly scrambles up a ladder and gets to the top. He spreads his wings... and looks down, negating the courage that got him up there. Once down, he says "Buck, buck, bu-caw..." while flapping his wings as though they were human arms mimicking chicken wings.
In cowduck garb, Wade sings about flying, mostly his own inability to, in comparison with other things. He resents being considered a coward. Orson points out that he is, but that's why he resents it. He wants to hide his head like the ostrich, but he doesn't want to be a duck who sits and cries; even garbage trucks and trousers have flies. Orson thinks that joke may prove that Wade had more guts than he thinks. Wade tries flying by launching himself with a stretchy thing stuck to trees. He's pretty happy until he opens his eyes and sees that he's about to fly into a snow Odie. A sn-Odie, if you will. This dampens his enthusiasm for it and gives him cold feet.
Orson lifts up the edge of the sn-Odie, revealing that it's built on a shell, which explains why Wade didn't knock out the back when he sailed in through the mouth. Nothing was damaged but Wade's self-confidence, not that there was much. Wade walks off. Booker asks if there's anything they can do. Orson feels he'll have to solve it on his own, even if it takes all winter.
Spring is here. Roy springs out of his coop and breathes in the spring air. Roy is enthusiastic about the lack of snow. Then he kicks the door closed and finds that his roof still had some. It falls on him, as before.
Orson has balloons. He gives a bunch to Booker, as they're celebrating spring. (Also, foreshadowing.) Orson offers some to Wade, but the dejected duck feels it's not worth celebrating, since winter passed without him flying. Orson gives Bo the rest, as he has to start plowing. He starts the tractor, but it almost immediately goes out of control! Bo points out his distress. Wade points out that he can't help himself. Bo hands him the balloons and runs off to assist. Booker and Roy do likewise. The balloons carry Wade away as he, oblivious, laments his lack of flight. Orson's yelling from below gets his attention. He sees that you get a good view from up there. Then he realizes. Up there?!? He's barely intelligible. Fred flies alongside and greets him in passing. Wade decides to release the balloons and grab on to Fred, but Fred can't fly like that, so they plummet. Fred's parachute deploys, and they fall more slowly...
Orson laments that he refilled the gas tank. Bo, Booker, and Roy run after, though Roy admits that they don't know what they're supposed to do. The ducks land in the seat of the tractor, obscuring their vision until it gets off of them and turns into a makeshift drag chute, allowing Orson to reach into the tractor and pull the fuel line. The tractor stops.
The three disembark, and Wade asks about the parachute. Fred says you never know who you're going to run into up there, and denies being afraid. Bo remarks that Fred might be a little chicken himself. Roy resents that. Booker says everyone has something they're afraid of. Orson calls Wade a hero, even if he's afraid of heights... and everything else. Wade thinks he won't be afraid of heights if Fred sells his parachute. Fred thinks they can work a deal.
We see Wade on a ladder, painting the barn. Booker is surprised to see him so high. Orson says he's conquering his fear. Wade loses his balance and falls, and his parachute deploys. Orson figures they might be able to get him up to 4 feet high next week. Wade thinks it's a start.
Garfield: Quickie
Jon plants a red flower, the last one of the bunch. Garfield notices Jon's work, and decides to give it the Garfield touch. He leaps for them... and bounces repeatedly all the way to the other side of the bed, and into a wheelbarrow full of tools. Jon asks him how he likes the plastic flowers. Garfield says that's cheating.
Garfield: Green Thumbs Down
A delivery van from the Roman Food Mart pulls up. The doorbell rings, and Jon goes to the door. He checks the bill, screams, then gives the deliverer the money, takes the groceries, and goes inside. Jon complains about the price of food. Garfield awakens, wanting lunch. Jon trips over Garfield, sending the groceries flying onto him, particularly a tub of lowfat cottage cheese which lands, open, on his head. Garfield didn't mean that it shouldn't be cooked first... Odie comes over and licks off the foodstuff.
Jon can't believe grocery bills. He wonders why he's buying enough food for 20 people. The main answer waves back, reminding him. Garfield notes the presence of lasagna ingredients. Jon says he's spending way too much on groceries. Garfield predicts that he'll say that food prices are astronomical, and is right. He then predicts that he'll give his "When I lived on the farm..." speech, and is right again. They always ate fresh vegetables there. He thinks they should grow vegetables in the garden. Garfield thinks he'll forget all about it.
But it seems he hasn't forgotten. He's dressed in farmer garb, and has bought a bunch of seeds and stuff. After he lists some, Garfield wonders where the nacho and chocolate layer cake seeds are, and says to call him when it's food. He climbs onto a lounge-type lawn chair and relaxes. Jon asks who he thinks is going to do it all. Garfield holds up a picture of Jon. Jon picks Garfield up, and decides he's not going to eat unless he works. Garfield doesn't think it fair to drag his stomach into it. Jon hands Garfield a rake and has him go to it. Shortly, however, he sees that Garfield has tied the rake to Odie's back and is using a bone as the "carrot" to get him to go. Later, he waters the garden by running the hose into the house and out the window so he can watch TV at the same time. Later, the rows are marked, one with "Odie". Indeed, Odie is buried up to his neck.
Now they need a few weeks of sun. This proclamation summons a dark cloud. Garfield brings out a sun lamp, but Jon says that won't work. Garfield suggests the tanning salon.
Another morning, the three run out to the garden... only to find no obvious signs of growth. (Also, no signs. What, did they take them down?) They head back inside. A few days pass before they check again. Nothing. Days, and weeks pass. Jon thinks they have to resort to more drastic measures. He goes to a garden shop and buys seedlings. He figures they'll be worth the cost. Garfield thinks he's wasting his time, and indicates the animals at the far end bearing forks and knives and wearing bibs. Jon puts the pets on guard duty. Garfield assigns their shifts: Odie will watch during the day, and Garfield will sleep at night. This bit of trickery goes unnoticed by Odie, who promptly chases the animals away.
Odie is diligently on patrol while Garfield naps in the background. However, he is awakened by the sound of eating. He sees one plant go underground, then catches another as it's being pulled under. He calls for Odie, but the pull is too strong, too fast, and Garfield can't hold on for long enough to benefit from Odie's help. Odie growls at the thief, then sniffs about and finds the entry/exit hole, indicating it by barking. Garfield decides to deal with it by sticking a hose in a hole and turning on the water. However, the eruption mostly sends them up into the air in a jet of water.
Jon is carrying a bag of something (fertilizer?) out when he sees the scene. He states the obvious. The garden is mostly underwater, with water gushing out in five places. Jon turns off the water and starts yelling at them for ruining his garden.
Just then, a gopher wearing a white cap comes out of one of the holes, complaining. He pulls a suitcase out and leaves. Jon apologizes for yelling. Odie points out a head of lettuce and some radishes, which is all that survived. Garfield advises picking them before a gopher adds to his salad bar with it.
At the table, Odie has three radishes on a plate, and Jon and Garfield have a lettuce leaf each. Jon is calculating, and determines that each leaf cost $200 on average. Garfield takes a bite. Of course, lettuce being more good for texture (and nutrition) than for flavor, at least in my experience, Garfield doesn't think it was worth it. He asks Odie for one of the $300 radishes, and Odie obliges. Jon rolls his eyes and resigns himself to it.
Next time: Episode 13!
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