Video description: "Today Evan and Jeff try to steal the thunder of our regular (ruggedly handsome) host. We follow them to our local food mart and they gather ingredients for our Santa Fe Chicken salad."
This should be good.
0:06 - As expected, Evan and Jeff are now in front of the camera in Vincent's usual opening narration spot. The dummy behind them now has both arms down.
0:27 - ... which of course is code for "Today we are going to proceed to further blow all of your collective minds. Oh and, maybe more cookie jokes."
0:31 - Funny how the opening credits subtitle this time says "Something's going on." (And I don't know how relevant this really is, but here the camera starts at the ground and then pans up to the trees.)
0:37 - Extreme blurry close-up of what looks like the side of a can. Turns out to be a can of garbanzo beans, as Evan and Jeff are now goofing about with the camera at floor grocery store bottom shelf level. And you gotta chuckle at Evan's attempt at a Nightmare Face.
0:44 - Cabbages! They are at the produce section. (The onscreen caption says "The cabbage is a spy." Gentlemen, we are now reaching Cerebus Rollercoaster velocity.)
0:59 - Evan in the canned vegetable aisle, looking at corn. I am now wrapping my mind around the concept of corn in a Santa Fe salad.
1:25 - "Chicken!" And Evan is wearing a Pink Floyd shirt here. I now put forth the theory that these guys were huge fans of the Publius Enigma.
1:49 - The guys are walking down another aisle, on the way to the counter. Note the vaguely prog-rock soundtrack.
1:53 - Cut to black. Two different flavors of eerie distortion. That other shoe should be dropping any minute now...
I'm calling it. A fake Slender Man will be making an appearance here, except it will be Vincent.
2:00 - Cut to the inside of a car. The camera is pointing at a lit dashboard, meaning it must be night. That or they're still in the parking gara— HOLY FUCK
2:02 - A wonky view of their car driving down the street at night. They're talking about something involving the blue car they're following.
2:11 - Confusing, blurry shot of the camera panning very quickly across the dash, looks like. Wait, I could have sworn the video lens had gotten all screwed-up for a second there.
2:13 - Camera angle still at a diagonal, they are now pulling up to their driveway right behind the blue car. What happened to the sound?! "Where's Dave?" My question is who's Dave?!
2:17 - Here we're seeing weird inexplicable stuff happening not just to audio, but to video as well. Now we cut to Vincent somewhere in the dark, at the boot of the car. "All right, fellas, campfire ti—" *more weird stuff happening to the video*
2:20 - We see Evan, only the video seems warped as heck. There's gotta be a Photoshop filter effect for that somewhere.
2:22 - The inexplicable video weirdness now sort of looks like a door shutting. Possibly like the ending to the last video, only through technicolor hell glasses.
2:23 - I can't really see all that clearly who Evan's talking to, but they seem to be talking about that befuddlement with Nick and the magical house levels again. Oh, and everything's still diagonal.
2:25 - A longer shot of the Amazing Technicolor Hellmouth Door.
2:27 - Cut to black. If this video ends in a screamer or a Rick Roll then I give up. *turns down the volume as an extra precaution*
2:28 - A brief glimpse of the outside of the house, then the video tears and turns into (and sounds like) broken old-timey filmstrip footage.
2:34 - Things lighten up, as we now cut to the inside of the house, specifically a shot of the guys going up the stairs. (Other shoe? Where aaare yooouuu....)
2:37 - The guys now turn their sights toward an open door leading to a dark room. (Look! It's a lamp!)
2:39 - The camera abruptly pans to some other rooms, as the guys apparently thank a "Daniel" (who looks to be wearing a very large black suit) for helping them out with the day's shoot. But wait! Somebody has left something... a tie back at the car! (A tie?! What in the world would they need a ti— Oh.)
2:49 - We hear a door slam, and the guys turn left toward the source of the sound. More distortion, and we now come face to face with (DUN DUN DUUUUN!) Slender Man rocking his head back and forth as he (telekinetically?) closes the door to the room he's in, then cut to black. Curiously the sound of the door slamming in the video seems to preempts the actual door slamming itself.
2:55 - Vincent and Evan are now in front of the offending door, as Evan tries to force it open. Naturally, it refuses to cooperate.
3:00 - "Ready? Let's do it in one, two..." At the exact moment the two push the door open, the visuals get all blurry. Evan (accidentally) goes through the door first.
3:03 - Vincent flicks the light, and Jeff pans the camera across a suspiciously all-salmon — and empty — bedroom.
3:10 - Jeff now turns the camera to a nearby dark area, and flicks another light. It's a walk-in closet with a bare (electric?) candle on the windowsill. He looks around, but to no avail.
3:25 - Evan and Vincent later rejoin Jeff at the closet door. "There's nobody in there?" "Nah." "Dude, you serious?" Everybody is now looking very confused and concerned. "We all saw it, right?" End of video.
So... what exactly was supposed to be resolved here again?
Crap.
