New Recruits Tend To Drown A Lot

Ranger Six

Combat Report - January 10th, 2040

Personnel deployed to combat zone:

  • Seaman Kwas
  • Seaman Myst Rose
  • Seaman Joanna
  • Seaman nos
  • Seaman syd
  • Seaman Jack Harkness
  • Seaman Gwen Cooper
  • Seaman John Benton
  • Seaman Princeps Augustus
  • Seaman Spencer Tracy

Yana (via remote link): All right, people, look sharp. As this is a nighttime mission, everyone's been issued with three Chemical Flares - put them to good use.

Also, those of you not equipped with heavy weapons have been issued a Thermal Tazer, so that you can at least attempt to take some of the Alien soldiers alive for interrogation back here at Augustica Base.

Kwas and Joanna, I want you two to set up just outside the Triton's passenger-bay door. Myst Rose, you set up near the nose of the Triton; I want all three of you to toss your Chemical Flares as far out as you can and light up the seabed for the rest of the team.



Kwas: In position, tossing flare.


Kwas: . . . I see part of a sunken whaling vessel and a bunch of waterlogged crates.


Joanna: Flare away, I got nothin'.


Myst Rose: . . . No hostiles in sight.

Yana: All right. Myst Rose, I want you and syd to head southwest. Joanna, you back them up. Princeps, Gwen, and Kwas, you three head southeast and keep your eyes peeled for any Alien activity.


Joanna: What the hell was that?

Yana: It wasn't anything aboard Triton-One. Must be the crew of the Alien vessel.

Kwas: Sounded like it came from the south.

Yana: Okay, people, spread out. Harkness, I want you to take nos, Benton, and Tracy directly south while the heavy-weapons teams sweep around and come down from the southeast and southwest respectively.

Princeps: I see some kind of ruined structure down here. Wonder if that's what's got the Eeks' attention.

Myst Rose: . . . Why is there a tank on the seabed this far from land?


Princeps: What the hell was THAT?

Yana: All units, Team One has hostile contact. Gwen, Kwas, move up and cover Princeps.

Princeps: I see the little green bastard, but I don't have a clear shot!

Kwas: Hang on, let me try.


Kwas: Dammit, I missed!

Gwen: Well, at least he can't see us now . . .


Gwen: I've got a clear line of fire. Taking the shot.


Aquatoid: EEEEOW!

Princeps: Nice shot!

Yana: Kwas, move up and cover them. Team Two, continue your sweep southwest.


Joanna: . . . This gun is heavy.

Myst: Shhh! I've found the enemy vessel!

syd: Popping flare.


syd: Don't see any Eeks. I'm going to take up position by those old pipe segments.



Princeps: What the hell?! Why do these aliens keep shooting at ME?

nos: Because they hate you, Princeps.

Princeps: . . . Very funny, nos.

Gwen: I've got the shooter. C'mere, you little green bastard . . .


Gwen: Shooter's down.

Princeps: Make sure he STAYS down. I'm sick of people taking potshots at me!



Myst: Well, so much for that idea.

Joanna: What were you trying to do? Blow a hole in the sub?

Myst: Exactly.

Joanna: I thought Yana wanted the sub INTACT.

Myst: Well, that doesn't mean we have to go in through the front door!


Tracy: Well, there's nobody hiding in these ruins.

Kwas: I'm going to disarm this stunned Eek. That way he won't shoot us in the back if he wakes up.


Myst: I'm coming up around the front of the Alien vessel. syd, you take position opposite me near the doors, okay?

syd: On it.


Myst: Eek spotted! Taking the shot!


Myst: Missed!

syd: Hang on, let me take a shot at him.


Aquatoid: EEEEEOW!

syd: Got 'im!

Yana: Benton, Harkness, move in to cover Myst and syd. Everyone else, keep sweeping the area.


Aquatoid: EEEEOW!

nos: Hah, stupid Eek got blown up by his own grenade.

Myst: We've breached the alien vessel. Preparing to sweep for Alien crew. Ready Tazers!

Harkness: Eek sighted! Taking the shot!


Harkness: He's down, but I think I only stunned him.

Benton: I'm moving in to disarm him.


Gwen: Got an Eek shooting at me! Returning fire!


Gwen: Bastard's taken cover.


Myst: Got another Eek. Tazing!


Myst: He's down.

syd: I'll disarm him.

Myst: Be my guest.


Gwen: Die, you green piece of shit!


Aquatoid: EEEEOW!

Gwen: Mess with the best, die like the rest!

Princeps: Looks like that's all of them.

Yana: Nice work, people. Head on home, and get some well-deserved rest.