It's unfortunate that I had to discover the fact this way, but there are drawbacks to relying on sponsorships for a liveblog like this, namely that they can get pulled out from under you at any moment. I don't think I mentioned anything objectionable, but right now I've had to fall back on public service announcements to fill the gap. Remember, kids, this Italian Indian is crying because you littered.
We are now standing in front of the Daily Days office again, this time with our old friend Eve Genoard. I say "old" friend, but the last time we met her was in 1932, which is the future at the moment, as we are immediately informed it's actually 1931 by the frustrated departure of the Runorata thugs. One of them mumbles, "I'll show that prick... Citizendium will take over the world! Just you wait!" as he leaves the place. Anyway, Eve's accompanied by an old white butler and a black woman, whose only purpose in this scene seems to be reestablishing the fact that the Daily Days does underground information dealing in addition to being a newspaper. Oh, right, and Eve's also looking for her brother here, too. You can just see the dollar signs light up in Nicholas' permanently-closed eyes. And hear them, too!
Meanwhile, Firo Prochainlinkfence is out buying some hats with Mr. Maiza, at a clothing shop with some pretty vintage vibes. Then again, it is the 1930s, so I'm pretty sure every dinky corner store has said vibes. Maiza helpfully informs Firo that generations of Martillo family higher-ups have bought their hats here, including Maiza himself, providing a stable income stream for the old guy who appears to own the place. Good thing, too, because what with him just sitting in the back reading a book, I'm pretty sure the customer service here is nothing to write home about. There's some talk about Firo joining up with the Martillo family and the Camorra and the ceremony being tomorrow and no, the ceremony is actually today, but oh look! It's Miria and Isaac, walking into the same hat store! Isaac, for his part, looks like a zombie Abraham Lincoln. I say "zombie", because he doesn't have any facial hair, and you know who else can't grow facial hair? Zombies.
Mr. Maiza and Firo give each other an odd look, and then continue walking down the street, the latter now sporting a color-coordinated hat. He does look quite period, if I do say so myself. Wait... what is that? A warehouse fire? Firo runs off to investigate, while Maiza advises him not to go berserk. I'd be worried if Firo ends up in a completely different series, too. In the middle of a giant crowd of onlookers — well, not so much the middle as the outer fringes, but including all these details would make this paragraph really long, like so — Firo runs into Ennis, who claims to be looking for someone, and then runs off. Oh, hey, Ennis, you dropped a golden button thing! Guess Firo's looking for Ennis now.
Wait, hollow42, if this is part of the 1930 storyline, does this mean we've traveled back in time again or what? I guess I shouldn't have complained so much about the title cards. At least they were informative.
We now rejoin the Flying Pussyfoot, already in progress. Pretty literally, too, since we're on the couplings between two of the train cars, where we meet up with a couple of the bomb squad from earlier. Jacuzzi's still running for the conductor's room in a panic about the train disappearing, with Nice following. She instructs one of the squad, a big man named Donny, to come with her and inspect the luggage room once they get a hold of Jacuzzi, while telling the other, a somewhat absent-minded guy called Nick who refers to Nice as his older sister, to take care of the dining car. So... if the two of them are family, do we have siblings whose name differs by only one letter? The cast is already confusing enough, writers. Don't make me come over there.
Nick spends a couple of minutes turning over his sister's instructions in his mind, which somehow leads to him brandishing a small switchblade and heading for the front of the car. Oh, dear. Didn't the conductors go through the checklist before leaving Chicago? Look, right there: "DERANGED PERSONS MAXIMUM: 1." It's right underneath the weight limit, fellas. Actually, considering the fact that the conductors seem a bit out of it, too... where's the Federal Railroad Administration when you need them?
Oh, right, not existing for another three decades.
While Nick talks to himself, a fairly suspicious-looking character walks past him between cars, but I'm sure he won't matter later on.
Totally.
But I'll call him "SLC" for short anyway.
And then we have a brief shot of the initiation of the mission to save Sir Huey, but as this is still the 1930s we don't have any self-destructing tapes and so the next best thing we can do is have everyone clap their foot in unison. "You will stub your toe in three... two... one..."
Eve, the butler, and the woman from earlier are now parked in a very Chinese (in appearance, at least) room. There's a brief reunion scene between the woman and a tall man who walks into the office, whose names we discover are Samath and Bruno. Hm, I think we might need to page Sacha Baron Cohen. Bruno spends some time reinforcing for us just how terrible a delinquent Dallas was, which I can appreciate as a clueless audience member, but you might want to note that his little sister is sitting right in front of you so now might be a good time to shut up about that all right JUST TAKE THE HINT ALREADY oh look, you've made her start to tear up. Nice job with the sensitivity there. He tries to backpedal a bit by saying that Dallas is definitely all right, but it's too late now, because she's crying! Seriously, never go into social work.
A very Chinese (in appearance, at least) man walks into the room and deposits a large file into Bruno's hand, but not before giving Eve a significant look. By which I mean he opens his permanently-shut eyes. (Cue jokes in poor taste.) We learn that all of this paper has been used to say that there's no information on Dallas' whereabouts. There are only so many trees on this earth, guys. Just because there's no EPA yet either doesn't mean you can go crazy.
Firo, still looking for Ennis, runs into a few street toughs beating up on the bearded mad scientist from ten minutes ago. The thugs are brandishing signs reading "MICE ARE PEOPLE TOO" and "THEY'RE THE SMARTEST BEINGS ON THIS PLANET, SO BE NICE OR ONE DAY THEY'LL TRY TO DRILL THE ANSWER OUT OF YOUR HEAD". Told you so, scientist guy.
Our newly-minted ally of justice, now With Hat(tm), rushes in to save the day, delivering a few one-liners and making judicious use of the Stormtrooper Effect. It's a shame the scientist is too paranoid to thank him, instead electing to grumpily crouch over his box of what I presume is immortality potion like a hunchbacked gargoyle — and for that, karma ensures that once Firo leaves the scene, the thugs recover and drag the scientist someplace offscreen. Remember, kids, always say "please" and "thank you", or I'LL KILL YOU.
Just to hammer in the point, a shot of his dead body covered in blood.
Coming up next on PBS Kids, it's Barney and Friends!
And on the Flying Pussyfoot, it looks like Sir Huey's people (carrying the "violins" from earlier), SLC, and Nick are all trying to hold up the dining car at the same time. What impeccable timing. Good thing none of them give directly conflicting directions — they just have to all get down on the ground, put their hands in the air, and not move. Isaac and Miria have a little trouble remembering that third part. Oh, and SLC, before pulling out his guns, makes a "bang!" motion at a woman I forgot to mention during the boarding sequence, dressed up in very green clothing. Does she have a name? I'll call her VGC. That's a beautiful name, isn't it?
Back in the alley where mad scientist man was left for dead, we see his body reforming under Ennis' watchful eyes, saying his name: Mr. Barnes. Like "couldn't hit the broad side of a," okay.
And Nick wisely decides to back off from holding up the dining car with a "sorry to disturb you," seeing as how he's quite literally brought a knife to a gunfight. Looks like his job's being done for him, anyway.
Oh, and Jacuzzi stumbles upon the dead bodies of two conductors in the back and concludes that Rail Tracer is here to get us all. Man, I paid a fortune for this ticket. I'd better get a refund... nobody told me some fantastic monster was going to devour me alive. It wasn't even on the fine print!
And that wraps up episode three of Baccano! Join me next time for episode four, where "Ladd Russo Enjoys Talking a Lot and Killing a Lot". Remember, you can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter"! ... is what I would like to say, but it looks like Ayu decided to translate the preview pun quite literally, so actually you spell "slaughter" as "cash continent". Good on you guys.
Thanks for reading. Next update before the heat death of the universe.
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