Live Blogs The Great Nitpicky Live Blog of El Goonish Shive

MrAHR

Cakman:

284

• Justin is gay!
• Horses are majestic creatures.◊
• I have always been of the opinion that calling something "gay" excessively is just silly, in the same way that calling something "stupid" excessively is silly. I really think that there is no inherent problem, though, using the word as slang for "bad". Eventually, it'll turn the retro corner, and mean "good" again, just like "bad" eventually did.
• And honestly, I think the point in this comic could have been a lot better made if he used gay a bit more sparingly. They're using it TOO much, to the point where it just becomes overt that he's trying to make a point, which it should always be a rule of thumb not to do.
• And why can you not just call it "Magic: The Gathering"? Seriously?
• And fuck you, Dan Shive. You're a transgendered furry. Leave the nerds alone. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

285

• Holy Shit, that joke is forced.
• Here's a rule for aspiring writers: If your joke requires people to speak in a way that sounds completely unrealistic, it's not good. For instance, in this strip, in order to make a shoddy lesbianism joke (which I won't picture-comment on, since Ellen wasn't explicitly mentioned.), Nanase has to speak in an unrealistic fashion. Here, let me give you an example of how the conversation would actually go:

"Hey, you wanna come hang out at the comic book store?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

"Okay. See you there. Bye."

"Bye."

• But here's how it goes in Shive speak:

"Hey, this is Nanase, proving to the world how quirky I am."

"Hey, Nanase, wanna come hang out at the comic book store?"

"Well sure, I'll come hang out at the comic book store, as I have nothing that I am doing to prevent me from coming to the comic book store at the moment, so I will come to the comic book store. All I was doing was watching some women on tv and admiring their bodies as they jumped up and down and played volleyball. I am totally not a lesbian, but I was specifically watching these women for purposes of titillation."

You see how the second one includes information that people would normally not say at all?

And anyways, Justin's weird "I WANT TO CONVERT YOU!" mentality is fucking weird. Why would anyone hang out with him if all he wants to do is convince people that they're gay?

286

• Once again, fuck him. I have no problem, obviously, with stereotype-related humor- my anger isn't in any way directed at the nerd jokes. It's at the fact of how unclever they are. There's just nothing here. Nerds don't have girlfriends could replace every line of the text, and we would be none the wiser. None of the dialogue serves any purpose other than the agenda line, and though that is an actual punchline, it isn't served with any timing or comedic acuity.

287

• Of course. Why not add a bit of self-righteousness to the pile?
• So Shive makes the kids look down on Justin, BUT JUSTIN CAN SCCAAAAAAAARE them. It's like that God damn comic with the kid reading Macbeth in a "manga drawing" class. It just aggravates me when a writer creates a character specifically to show that character being triumphed over by another character.
• And way to explain the joke, Nanase. You aren't helping.
• Anger aside, though, I will say that, as of so far, Nanase has done the least to make me hate her, so if you want a "favorite main character" from me, there you go.

288

• That thing is suppossed to be pretty?
• Hay, you guiz, Nanase's Japanese, okay?
• And why would Nanase need to say that she doesn't speak English? Couldn't she just pretend that she's the one working there today? That would make a lot more sense.
• Of course not. Because then Shive would not be able to remind us of her informed character traits.

289

• ...
• ...
• ...What the fuck?
• Does ANYONE, DOES ANYONE IN THIS FUCKING COMIC TALK OR INTERACT LIKE NORMAL HUMANS DO?
• So awesome. We have a new trait about Justin. GUESS WHAT. HE'S FUCKING GAY.
• And fuck it. Forget my horse cock picture gag. I'll end up using it too much. I have a feeling that this is all we're going to know about Justin. Ever. There aren't enough horse cocks in the world to cover that sum.
• And once again, why did Nanase need to change? There was no need to. At all. She did the same thing she would have done if she didn't change.
• Also, Nanase appears to be a prostitute. Whaddaya know.

290

• You know, now that I think about it, why is Nanase wearing those clothes still? Couldn't she wash her clothes with the gunk on them? Or was this a contrived reason for explaining a costume switch?
• And I am going to be very upset if the next comic involves that kid trying to make fun of Justin for being gay. VERY. UPSET.

Noxilicious:

He's not transgender, dude.

AHR:

Cakman tends to be trollish. If you get seriously offended by something he says, report him. If not, it's probably best to ignore him or...handle him the way you feel is best.

Black Wolfe:

Mr AHR: Cakman tends to be trollish.

Understatement is understated.

Cakman:

Oh, I apologize, Black Wolfe. Was the horse's penis in that picture? I hadn't even noticed.

Also, I am aware that Dan Shive is not actually transgendered. I was both exaggerating for the sake of humor, and referencing the author avatar.

Black Wolfe:

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. You amuse me, though, so I shall let it sl THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I CAN SAY HERE THAT WON'T RESULT IN YOU PICTURING ME GETTING ALL HOT AND BOTHERED OVER HORSE COCK. Damn you.

Cakman:

Well, I do greatly apologize for your aversion to the horse genitals. Here: I've taken the care to censor the horse penis from this picture.◊ Hopefully you will find it more suitable.

Gilphon:

Yay! You get to be right, but I don't have to be an idiot for it! It's the best of both worlds! And yeah, you're correct in saying that I didn't see the sketchbook the first time 'round.

In other news: Funny, I don't remember Melissa being that badly written, and yet here we are. I must've had lower standards back in 2007. That last panel, with the guy realizing what an idiot he was being without the need for anyone to actively call him out, is a nice little touch. Humanizes a minor character a little bit, and that's always welcome.