The Great Nitpicky Live Blog of El Goonish Shive

Mr AHR
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>:3

Actually, A_H_R, the Dragon Warrior series was a spin-off of the Dragon Quest series that was on the Gameboy and Gameboy color. Now, my own gripes and critique of humor:

Strip 16
  • I once again dislike informed character humor. And Elliot's final line is not needed, as his expression already tells us that he disapproves of Ted's idea.
  • GRAMMER ERROR GODDAMNIT. "Worry not. Comrade, for I have a plan." DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. AHR WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP ON THAT?!
  • AHR, your Cerberus syndrome joke would have played better if you dropped the "Is it sad" part. It shows a lack of confidence, and when you're roasting a series, confidence is quite integral.
  • You didn't comment on the scary Ted hands in the second panel which look like a tiny Person is providing Ted with oral delights.
  • And on that note, one could also argue that rather than Ted being related to the German scientist, it COULD just be a lack of skill in Shive early on that causes some characters to share traits, ya'know?

Strip 17
  • I might be missing the joke, but is the guy in the first panel supposed to be Silent Bob? If so... I kind of like the reference, but... It doesn't make much sense.
  • Err... AHR, what exactly is the foreshadowing? I can't see it when I compare the two strips. They seem to be completly unrelated.
  • Ya didn't note the massive Elliot hands in the third panel.
  • Your last content bulletpoint could be phrased better to be made funnier. Possibly something like "Thank you, Ted, for letting us know you're outside. I wasn't aware of how similar the two looked." Eh. Actually, mine doesn't work well either. Ah well. Fuck it. I don't know.

Strip 18
  • Second panel. What the fuck indeed.
  • What is Elliot standing on? Is it a stool? If so, it's a giant stool, because it goes up to Ted's nipples.
  • AHR, Joke/point with steroids was nicely made.
  • AW SHIT VIDEO GAME REFERENCES! GAMER GIRL COMIN THROUGH HERE BACK DA FUCK UP.
  • You know what else? What the hell is going on? If the school was evacuated, when did it happen? And if the school was evacuated, why the hell are Elliot and Ted still in there? They'd be evacuated too. It's not like the principle said "Everyone flee from the death monster except for Elliot and Ted. You guys find a way to kill it." And why the hell is Ted so informed on the subject all of a sudden? AND WHY DID THE GOO EVEN COME TO LIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN THE ENTIRE CLASS WAS DOING THE SAME ACTIVITY.
  • WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THE SECOND PANEL JESUS CHRIST

Strip 19
  • Aw hell. EGS made me chuckle. (I will still concede though that it was from a one-off joke that didn't relate to the characters, which is not good...)
  • AHR, it would help if you mocked AC Drawings more. Everyone loves that.
  • I laughed at your finger line. Good going.
  • Also, you didn't comment on the awkwardness of Ted's line in the first panel. In-universe, he'd already explained why Elliot was doing that. Why would he need to explain it again. He'd just say "GO!" or something.
  • Actually, I'm not sure who your favorite character is. Ooo. The suspense.

Strip 20
  • El Goonish Shive takes place in a vast expanse of gradients composed of the color gray. God, that must be a depressing life to live.
  • AHR, I notice you didn't comment on the overall narm of this scene. Since when did this creature go from being a gag-monster to an actual threat? Shive didn't build up to this moment. Are we suppossed to worry about Elliot now? Couldn't they also go run to the janitor's closet and grab a bucket, fill it up with water and toss that on the monster?
  • And while I'm on that point, there are several problems with what is going on right now. The sprinkler system that was drawn has a small glass vial in it that is sensitive to heat. As it expands, It ricochets out of the sprinkler. The problem, however, is that it isn't WATER that comes out of the sprinkler system. It's a fire-retardant. So it's liquid, but not water, which I don't think would work. Even if it would, couldn't elliot and Ted just SPIT on the monster if any liquid would work? Or urinate on it? Then again, I'd crucify them for going that route as well, but what exactly is the idea here? How would water help destroy the monster? Why is it alive in the first place?! None of this is explained. This is what annoys me.
Cakman 11th Dec 10
AHR said:

The way that Elliot (who is a girl in that panel) has his elbows positioned, they look practically nonexistant.

Also, the reason I didn't comment on the narm yet is because this is still in strict light hearted fun mode. The narm is not in the action, it's in the future social encounters. I've become desnensitized to the fighting narm by this point, that's how bad it is.
Cakman 11th Dec 10
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