How to cheat death at every opportunity! Let's Play Final Fantasy IV (Includes Final Fantasy IV -Interlude-)

Some Color Mage

Lodestone Cavern

So, we have to go without metal for a whole dungeon. Luckily for us, Troia is a hippie village so we can buy some non-metallic stuff from them. So you can compare to last update, here's the current equipment stats on my team.

Cid: 56 Attack, 20 Defence, 8 Magic Defence

Cecil: 10 Attack, 14 Defence, 7 Magic Defence

Tellah, 17 Attack, 10 Defence, 10 Magic Defence

Yang: 56 Attack, 20 Defence, 6 Magic Defence

I could put a bow on Cecil for more attack power, but that causes a money sink as I burn through arrows. So he's going for punching today!

To get to our destination, we must head north to the Chocobo Village. From here, we catch a black chocobo. They let us fly, but can only land in forests. We then head east, into an area covered in forest. There's a cave here, that's where we're headed.

This is the Lodestone Cavern. As we enter...

Cid: That magnetic field is powerful! Equipping anything metallic will slow us down.

Yang: My claws appear to be unaffected.

Tellah: Fear not! We stand invincible with my magic!

If anyone has metallic equipment, they are considered not in battle. If the only people left alive at any time have metallic equipment, it's game over. With this in mind, we are really weak so rush to the end, with liberal use of the Cure series spells, as well as face punching, face scratching, and face hammering. Luckily, there are a few save points on the way. The path's actually quite short.

The Dark Elf awaits us in the Crystal Chamber.

Dark Elf: I commend your effort. But your excursion ends here. You will never get the Crystal. You cannot defeat me with those weapons.

Yang: We shall see about that.

Tellah: You will have to contend with my magic!

We fight the Dark Elf, but he's not very vulnerable to being punched in the face, so the battle's not going very well.

Dark Elf: Can you withstand this?

He starts chucking spells at us, with no chance to counter.

Yang: We stand no chance...

Cecil: I need my sword...!

Tellah: Ugh...

We lose the fight.

Cecil: If only I could use my sword...

Well, we're screwed.

Meanwhile in Troia...

Edward: Cecil... Everyone... They're in danger!

Edward gets out of bed. The doctor and nurse try to stop it, but Edward insists on grabbing his harp.

He grabs the harp and starts playing music. The Whisperweed he gave us starts playing the same tune.

Dark Elf: AUGH! What is this torturous sound!?

Edward: He cannot control the magnetic field while I am playing! Now! Draw your sword!

Cecil: Right!

Well, I guess we're not screwed.

We get given a chance to re-equip and then approach the elf again.

Dark Elf: You... Aughhh!

He tries to attack us, but his spells are now useless. After a while, though...

Dark Elf: Say your prayers!

And he transforms into the Dark Dragon. The Dark Dragon is somewhat challenging, except for one thing.

He's vulnerable to Tornado. He's a two hit kill.

Dark Elf: This cannot be! With the Crystal... my eternal life should have... GAAAHHH!

And he dies. Way to be a pathetic boss fight.

Cecil: Thank you, Edward.

We grab the Crystal, and now we can do this dungeon properly. We're currently on B4. There's not much here.

Onto B3, then. Here, we get Faerie Claws, Yang's first status ailment claws. This one inflicts Confuse. The rest of the dungeon is very uninteresting. The death of the Dark Elf removes anything of note from it.

Aside from the Goddamn Bats! We can encounter Cave Bats in here. They use nothing but Bloodfeast, which inflicts Sap (constant HP drain) and takes up a lot of time when all 6 on screen are using it at once.

Well, that's over. We hop on the black chocobo, which takes us back to the Chocobo Village, and we walk back to Troia. Let's tell the Epopts that we got the Crystal.

Oh my goodness!

The Earth Crystal! You've reclaimed it! Hurrah!

Then some magic occurs, and we hear another voice.

I see you have acquired the Earth Crystal.

Cid: That voice!

Cecil: Kain!

Kain: Bring the Crystal and board the ship. I will take you to Rosa.

The Epopts let us keep the Crystal for now. We go talk to Edward.

Edward: You have returned...

Cecil: Thanks only to your help, Edward.

Edward: There is no need to thank me.

OK, let's go guys!

Cid: What I don't understand is how that worked...

Edward: I first heard that melody back when I travelled as a bard... I recall it being a song to... repel fey creatures... So I thought it might work...

More gratitude.

Tellah: I have long wondered what Anna saw in you. But now I can see it myself.

...Are you coming on to him?

Tellah: Courage, rising from integrity. She was fortunate to have your love.

Edward: Tellah...

Tellah: Now be silent and heal your wounds. I promise you I shall avenge Anna for the both of us.

Edward: Thank you...

Cecil: Edward, I look forward to fighting alongside you again.

Edward: ...Anna... At last I think I may understand why you did what you did...

One last thing. In Troia's pub, we can buy a Member's Writ for 10000 Gil. We show it off to someone who wants to see it.

Thank you. Enjoy the show.

What show? We follow the path he opens up to the King's Bounty Pub.

Welcome! The show will begin in a few minutes.

A bunch of dancers come out and put on a dance. They then drag Cecil onto a king's throne and spin around a bit. Cecil doesn't seem too pleased...

I'm guessing that's supposed to be something a bit more... interesting, If You Know What I Mean, but, well, engine limitations.

Well, that's all. Next time, we finally get to go to Golbez's fortress of not-on-the-world-map-itude.


Cid: Lv 25 HP:1160 MP:0 Strength:27 Speed:11 Stamina:30 Intellect:5 spirit:5 Attack:67 (4 attacks) Defence:42 Magic Defence:8

Cecil: Lv 23 HP:1118 MP:98 Strength:24 Speed:17 Stamina:23 Intellect:13 Spirit:18 Attack:61 (5 attacks) Defence:41 Magic Defence:10

        Tellah: Lv 26 HP:497 MP:90 Strength:4 Speed:9 Stamina:3 Intellect:22 Spirit:19 Attack:17 (1 attack) Defence:13 Magic Defence:11

Yang: Lv 25 HP:1322 MP:0 Strength:37 Speed:19 Stamina:30 Intellect:2 Spirit:3 Attack:61 (6 attacks) Defence:25 Magic Defence:7


Tornado works ? I never knew that ! Actually, I'm so used to the Useless Useful Spell trope that I never bothered to check that.

Oh, well. I had "fun" killing the boss the normal way.
Jhiday 2nd Jun 11
That's actually the first time I've used the Tornado strategy, to be honest. I knew of it for ages, but never bothered to try it.
SomeColorMage 2nd Jun 11
I have to say, I miss the All Caps retard speak used by the Dark Elf in the SNES version. It makes him even more hilariously pathetic than he already is.
Zalis 30th Aug 11