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Slowzombie is blind about Dark, The Adventures of Dark Yagami
slowzombie

[table of contents]
People die, it doesn't matter
So, it would seem that it's time to do this again. This chapter is called "A Dark YAGAMI Twisted Fantasy" well, "Twisted Fantasy" describes this whole thing quite well, methinks, so I'm curious how much more twisted it can get. Well, we'll just have to see about that. Author's Notes: THERE WAS A PROBLEM WITH AN OLD CHAP WHICH I HAD TO FIX IN THIS ONE SO NOT MUCH HAPPENS AT FIRST SORRY Huh? I guess this smells retcon of some sort. Let's just get moving.

The fic continues where it left off, with the world apparently turned into a nuclear desert. Night notices two things pretty much right away. One, there's a hole through the earth and it went all the way to the sun and sunlight came through lighting the place. There was also some lava creeping out and setting fires again so the fires had to blow away again Uh... that's probably not good. This shit's turning post-apocalyptic, yo. What seems to worry Night more, though, is the other thing. She had shield noted herself but forgot to shield note her cloths and now they were gone AND SHE WAS NAKED. How does that even work? I mean, if it was an Invurnerability Note, I could see how the clothes would... oh who am I kidding. BECAUSE FANSERVICE, obviously. Also, Day is present, but he's a bit on the other end of the hot/not-scale. He was all burnt and twisted and looked like a BEAUTIFUL DARK TWISTED FANTASY (GET IT) Uh.. I'm sure there's a reference there. A quick google session suggests it might be to Kanye West's latest album, which strikes me as odd, but hey, that's another topic for another liveblog. It's not the first Kanye Reference in this fic  *

So, quick tally, Light's Mom  *, Night, Day & Misa appears to be alive. Joyous, Blud, though, observes from his sky base and chimes in with the following. LITTLE DOES SHE NO THAT MY BIGBRAINED YOUNG MASTER DARK YAGAMI HAS FAILED TO LIVE IN THE BOILED INFERNO I think someone just got a thesaurus. So yes, Dark is dead. Ding Dong, the Dark is Dead. Fred thinks this is awfully sad, also she takes of her clothes to prove she's hot. (an THAT TVTROPES ZOMBIE DUDE SAID SHE WASN'T SEXY WHICH ISNT TRUE. CHECK OUT MY TWITTER #REALDARKYAGAMI FOR THE FANARTS I DREW OF HER) Having seen the fanart, I maintain my initial response to this Death God's purported sexiness, thank you very much. Also, recognition, yay, now I feel all special and stuff.

But yeah, let's get it on before I go mad from my newfound fame and blahdiblah. Dawn is dead, which would be much sadder if I remembered anything about him at all except he's Dark's clone and haven't really done anything in this fic. Anyway, the author admits this is pointless, since Dark's passing is the only thing that could possibly mean anything in this case. Anyway, Night plans to Life Note Dark back to... well... Life, but that's a no-go, since the vile plot device was burnt to ash together with Night's clothes. Wow, there actually was a point to that fanservice moment, that's... certainly new. Not to fear  * since Light imediately starts acting weird. He looked all posesed like the (SPOILERS) paramormal activity chick. So yes, Light is now possessed by Dark's ghost.... yay. Of course, the possessee in Paranormal Activity wasn't a ghost, but that's another liveblog entirely.

Oh, and it gets better y'all. "I have been taken over by the ghost of …. DARK YAGAMI. NOW MY NAME IS A MIXTURE OF LIGHT AND DARK FOR I AM…. GRAY YAGAMI except just call me dark yagami cos that sounds like gay yagami This, apparently means Light is dead instead. So we can now add Fratricide to Dark's rather comprehensive list of dickish behavior, or at least I'll stick to that explanation, because it at least comes close to making some sort of sense. That said, the fact that Light is dead apparently is no problem, since they can just clone him. Huh, ethical implications, what's that? Besides, wasn't the cloning lab, and pretty much all of Casa De Yagami, burnt to a crisp just now? I know, consistency and this fic, but I'm nothing if not willing to keep getting disappointed.

Well, let's just get on with the cloning. You'd think we'd have reached the maximum limits for pointless, ilogical and ultimately inconsequential cloning mistakes, mais non. You see, Night put the cloning machine on "Dog mode." ... Yes, Dog Mode. I mean, how am I supposed to rant about this shit? Should I start with how making a dog with human DNA strictly speaking doesn't make sense? Or should I ask why you'd even HAVE a "Dog mode" in your cloning machine, let alone leave it on said setting at all? Actually, let me just ask the big one: WHY? WHY? WHY? WHYMOTHERFUCKINGWHYWHY... ok, I feel a little better now. The result? A dog came out. It had fangs and horns and instead of eyes there were machine guns where the eyes should be that shot bullets that looked like eyes and could see things so he could shoot them round corners and get the jump on peeps. Its claws were pens so it could death note people. That came out of Light's DNA? Well, I guess that's a strong argument in the nature/nuture debate right there.

Anyway, this canine is called Might Yagami. Say... that's oddly familiar. Author? AN check out the chap where they fight yotsuba but basically might yagami is his dog and then I realised it dint make sense that his dog was called yagami so now its explained! Wait... how that's explaining anything? I mean ok, so Yotsuba's dog was called Might Yagami. That still doesn't make sense, unless Dog!Light went back in time, befirended Yotsuba and then died. You're right author, this raises so many fewer questions.

While all this happens, though, a car gets closer. Uh... people? Nuclear apocalypse? Just a couple of minutes ago? Ring any bells? Or put more bluntly: THE WORLD JUST GOT MAD MAX'D, ACKNOWLEDGE IT DAMNIT. Oh, but that's ok, because the Yagamis have made their house into an iron castle. You'd think that would be a little difficult after said semi-apocalypse, but you'd be wrong. Unfortunately, though, one of their besiegers, Cybertakada, has magnet boots, and plans to climb in. Of course, she has to strip, lest the weight of her clothes prevent her from climbing. Honestly, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, and I'm reasonably good at making shit up.

Cybertakada realizes there is a problem, though, theres no holes to enter by. Sounds like a problematic move for a place you plan to live in, but there you go. Luckily, C, the amazingly well-developed character that he is, ... drills a hole in the walls with his hand. Well, it's probably as close to TTGL as we'll get in this chapter, and I'll take it. Once inside, Cybertakada opens the doors and lets everyone in. Everyone, that is, sans Near, who stays behind to listen to Justin Bieber. Hm, right. Also, Cybertakada and S exchange poor banter and phyiscal violence. Trying for a Slap-Slap-Kiss thing there author? Or is my brain just desperately trying to find something, ANYTHING, in this wasteland of a fic to find at least moderately entertaining?

Back in Blud's sky-base, Blud is... overly excited at the developments. Fred, on the other hand, would appriciate if Dark was naked, well, Dark!Light, at least I hope so, since the other alternative has... implications I'd rather not think about. That said, since Light is so outrageously gay in this fic, and Dark is the single most heterosexual being in all of existence won't the latter possessing the former's body lead to some sort of a problem? I'm guessing we'll never know, it's maybe best that way. Anyway, the villains plan out their big scrap with the Yagamis. When I say villains, I mean the ones who oppose Dark, but who's supposed to have any semblance of moral superiority in this clusterfuck, I can't even begin to speculate on. It's not Grey and Gray Morality, it's Stupid and Stupid Morality, I've had D&D games go to hell over similar concepts, but that's neither here nor there. S has the numbers down, apparently, and they spring into action. Cliffhanger... yay.

Oh, but there's more, a preview for next chapter. "THEY ARE TOO HEAVY! IM GONNA DIE!" said samanther. "I'll save you!2 said dark yagami jumping her rescue. He broke the falling roof bits with es. "I saved you! Now you have to join my side" he winkled cos THAT WAS THE PLAN ALL ALONG because SAMANTHER WAS HIS WIFE! ... yeah. I don't think anything I can say can make this any better or worse, but I will say as much, the author seems to be getting better in the lulz department, but I'm yet again starting to wonder why I don't find a somewhat less brain-breaking hobby, like herding Mindflayers.
11th Dec '10 10:34:31 AM flag for mods
comments
I didn't realise that D'ark Y'agami actually kept up with this Liveblog. I'm now envisioning some kind of epic rivalry between the two of you.
Idler20 12th Dec 10
That makes two of us, Idler. I'm honestly a little surprised, but it only deepens my suspicions vis-a-vis my fellow tropers. But yeah, seems like we are locked in an epic battle, he and I. Snarker and Ficcer, Order and Chaos, Roger Ebert and The Dude Who Made The Brown Bunny, the stuff of legends folks.
slowzombie 12th Dec 10
I must say, I'm not entirely sure about this new Liveblog system. Although I do like that we now have chapter headings.
Idler20 13th Dec 10
I'm a bit uncertain myself, but there's a lot of nice features, it's more organized, I feel, and the ability to link the whole shebang to the works page of the thing definitely is a plus to me.
slowzombie 15th Dec 10
Oh, and twitter update/snark goes here, to keep things orderly, y'know.

HEY DUDES WHAT WOULD BE A GOOD NAME FOR A SHINIGAMI WITH MAGNET POWRES! I NEED TO NO FOR MY FIC!

Magnet powers? This... yeah, this is potentially amusing. Double points if there's a "Fuckin' Magnets"-joke in there somewhere.

slowzombie 15th Dec 10
There's a new update.
BadficFetish 18th Dec 10
Yeah, it's going up in a couple of minutes. This one's a keeper, y'all.
slowzombie 19th Dec 10
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