| 1 | [[WMG: Deb Duchon (the "Nutritional Anthropologist") keeps Alton enslaved by her puppet minions.]] |
| 2 | It's either self-explanatory or too insane to understand. This is why she scares him. |
| 3 | |
| 4 | [[WMG: Alton Brown is NOT God.]] |
| 5 | He is just the owner of the world's only {{Hammerspace}} kitchen. |
| 6 | * Up to and including a variety of tenderizing mallets. |
| 7 | * What about [[VideoGame/CookingMama Mama?]] |
| 8 | |
| 9 | [[WMG: Alton Brown was breathed on by Chuck Norris.]] |
| 10 | How else can you explain his awesomeness? |
| 11 | |
| 12 | [[WMG: Chuck Norris was breathed on by Alton Brown.]] |
| 13 | Chuck Norris could cause dinosaurs to go extinct, but Alton Brown did it first. Then Alton made a lovely meat pie. |
| 14 | |
| 15 | [[WMG: Chuck Norris and Alton Brown are twins.]] |
| 16 | They breathed on each other numerous times as babies an brothers, contributing to the awesomeness each time. Alton came out slightly on top, though. |
| 17 | |
| 18 | [[WMG: Alton Brown is a Time Lord]] |
| 19 | He even [[https://twitter.com/#!/altonbrown/status/169454929377890305 said as much]] on Website/{{Twitter}}. |
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