Line #43 Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S09E07Hobgoblins


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hobgoblins_3.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:"Hey, the end credits! Well, it was a terrible movie, at least it was short."\
3	"These are the ''beginning'' credits."\
4	"Oh, well, then kill me, please?"]]
5
6	Film watched: ''Film/{{Hobgoblins}}''
7
8	->''"Can you catch a venereal disease from a movie?"''
9	-->-- '''Tom Servo'''
10
11	While ''Hobgoblins'' is probably not the worst movie to ever be screened on ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', it is quite possibly the sleaziest.
12
13	Though director Rick Sloane ''requested'' that his film be featured on the show, it suffered some of the harshest riffing ever. The Mads removed the film case from the [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Ark of the Covenant]], and are using it as a ''punishment''. The bots tried to flee the theater during ''the opening credits''. Crow set up a hotline for people traumatized by the movie. Mike and the 'bots tried to escape ''again'' by replacing themselves with cardboard cutouts in the theater and the bridge (it nearly worked, too). Crow impersonated Sloane during the end credits claiming he was "high on crack" and had "[his] brain replaced with rat droppings". Servo tried, and failed, to go back in time to prevent the movie from being made.
14
15	The episode is available in the Gizmoplex [[https://www.gizmoplex.com/mst3k/season:9/videos/mst3k-178-hobgoblins here]].
16
17	!!The Segments:
18	[[AC:Prologue]]
19	* Mike and the 'Bots find themselves getting accidentally turned on from each other. They blame Robert Palmer.
20
21	[[AC:Segment 1]]
22	* Pearl is remodeling Castle Forrester and sends up a couch to the SOL for storage, with explicit instructions to NOT jump on it. Naturally, Mike, Crow, and Servo jump on it in defiance, so Pearl punishes them with an especially-bad movie: ''Hobgoblins''![[note]]AAAAAGH![[/note]]
23
24	[[AC:Segment 2]]
25	* Crow puts together an educational film about how to treat women with respect... just as soon as he can find some.
26
27	[[AC:Segment 3]]
28	* Crow sets up the ''Hobgoblins'' Crisis Hotline for people traumatized by watching such a horrible movie. His lone caller is Bobo, who needs someone to talk with about a personal matter.
29
30	[[AC:Segment 4]]
31	* Mike and the 'Bots make a break for it and leave cardboard decoys of themselves to fool Pearl. It almost works until Brain Guy sees through the trick.
32
33	[[AC:Segment 5]]
34	* In a last act of desperation, Servo goes back in time to prevent ''Hobgoblins'' from ever being made. It doesn't quite pan out. Pearl reaffirms her rule to NOT jump on her couch when Bobo and Brain Guy decide to try it themselves.
35
36	----
37
38	!!The unspeakably depraved ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' version of... ''Film/{{Hobgoblins}}''[[note]]AAAAAGH![[/note]], contains examples of:
39
40	* ActuallyPrettyFunny:
41	** Rick Sloane, the director of ''Hobgoblins'', loved [=MST3K=]'s riffing of the film. [[ParodyAssistance He even submitted the film to them]].
42	** Also, while being given fake [=IDs=] by the bouncer:
43	--->'''Kyle:''' "Hey, this says I'm 40 and handicapped!"\
44	'''Roadrash:''' "What's the matter? You got a problem with that, Junior?"\
45	'''Kyle:''' "No... [[SureLetsGoWithThat I'll limp]]."\
46	'''Crow:''' ''(halfheartedly)'' Ha, ha, funny.
47	* AnythingButThat: Mike and the bots beg Pearl to send them any movie but ''Hobgoblins'' for their experiment, but she's made up her mind.
48	* AdaptationInducedPlotHole: Right after being attacked by the Hobgoblins (and barely surviving), Kyle, apropos of nothing, decides to call a phone sex line (which gets hijacked by one of the Hobgoblins, who then pretends to be the operator). In the original movie, there is an earlier scene (before the Hobgoblins show up) where we see him call the same phone sex line and hear the operator talk dirty to him for a bit before Kevin interrupts him, and he claims he was just calling his girlfriend, with Kevin complaining that he keeps getting a bunch of sex line services billed to his number (which ''also'' explains his annoyed "we'll talk about my phone bill later" after he saves Kyle from getting killed by the Hobgoblin.) As the first bit was cut out (likely because the [=MST3K=] team [[{{Bowdlerize}} couldn't get away with showing it on TV]]), him calling the phone sex line comes across as a total NonSequitur here.
49	** Also removed from [=MST3K's=] airing for time is two scenes where [=McCreedy=] is confronted by his boss in the studio, the first where he complains about the recently-killed teen guard's "resignation" and explains that two guards must be on duty at all times so that he can collect insurance money from any incident, and a later scene where he fires [=McCreedy=] after the latter tries to warn him of the Hobgoblins. Both scenes tie into the ending when [=McCreedy=] blows up the Hobgoblins in the studio, hence the boss's sudden anger when he calls [=McCreedy=] on the phone afterwards.
50	* ArtisticLicenseMilitary: Lampshaded. After army reservist Nick, fresh out of basic training, grabs a grenade out of his van:
51	-->'''Servo:''' So, the army just hands out grenades, huh?
52	* BadButt: The intended effect of the Club Scum scenes is quite muted by the lack of payoff for any of the implied threats and promised nudity.
53	* BadGuyBar: One that looks suspiciously like a school gym or cafeteria dressed up to resemble a bar, at that.
54	--> '''Servo''': "Club Scum", eh? So why are there lunch ladies back there serving tater tots?
55	* BaitAndSwitch:
56	** During one of the host segments, Bobo calls Crow's newly-created "Hobgoblins Crisis Hotline" to ask for advice about his crush on "a woman very close to me-- a woman not of my species", with whom he is obsessed despite the fact that she abuses him. This is coupled with sneaky looks at an oblivious Pearl in the background. It turns out he's talking about a chimpanzee named Emily.
57	** Tom, dressed in a leather jacket and sunglasses and holding a machinegun, explains to a suitably horrified Mike that he just finished going back in time to track down ''Hobgoblins'' director Rick Sloane and k...ick him in the shins. Mike is relieved; he thought Tom was going to say he "[[Franchise/{{Terminator}} terminated]]" Sloane.
58	--->'''Tom:''' T-t-terminate? Are you nuts! [[DoesntLikeGuns I hate guns!]] I hate 'em! [[HypocriticalHumor How could you ever get that idea?]]
59	*** Then Tom finds out Sloane [[BerserkButton called him "stout"]] and says he's going to go back and kill him. Mike [[LetMeAtHim holds him back]].
60	* BeAWhoreToGetYourMan: The takeaway from the movie: Amy wasn't any fun until [[MyGirlIsASlut she put on a literal strip show and started giving it up]] like her friend Daphne. The crew {{Lampshade\|Hanging}} the UnfortunateImplications.
61	--> '''Crow''': ''(SarcasmMode)'' Yes, girls, this is the only way to make your boyfriends like you.
62	* {{Bookworm}}: At the beginning of Crow's "where are women?" video host segment, Mike (an avid reader, [[ContinuityNod as seen in previous episodes]]) is reading again. This time it's ''Literature/BleakHouse''.
63	* ButtMonkey: Bobo asks Crow to not hang up on him "like all those other crisis hotlines."
64	* CardboardPal:
65	** Mike and the 'bots try to trick the Mads by placing cardboard cut-outs of themselves in the theater, along with a tape recorder playing some [[BadBadActing poorly acted]] generic riffs ("Okay. Here comes this guy. What's he up to?" "Boy, this is stupid.") and escaping. In the host segment, we see they did the same on the bridge. Only Observer isn't fooled. The cut-outs are based on the silhouettes of Mike/Joel and the 'bots that appeared on the back of Creator/{{Rhino\|Records}} VHS releases of ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' at the time (the "Pointing Mike" being the most obvious).
66	** During the movie's closing credits, they used another cutout (hastily sawed out of wood) for their faux interview with Rick Sloane.
67	* CartoonBomb: Pearl uses a pair to blow up Bobo and Brain Guy at the end of the episode. She ''really'' doesn't want anyone jumping on the couch.
68	* CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys: Much is made of Nick's military service. Naturally, when Nick runs away from the hobgoblins the second he realizes they're dangerous, Crow riffs "Oh, Nick's in the ''French'' army, I see."
69	* ChekhovsGun: M&TB initially complain over the seemingly pointless "rake fight" scene early in the film, but then Crow notices that the scene may have actually had a purpose when Kevin grabs the same rake to fend off one of the Hobgoblins.
70	* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Crow and Tom in response to Roadrash's sudden pull out of a sign to indicate his approval of Amy's "stripping".
71	-->'''MC:''' Well, what do you think folks? Is she a Hit or a Miss?\
72	'''Roadrash:''' ''(Pulls out large premade sign that says "Hit")''\
73	'''Crow:'''You know they should really add an "S" to that.\
74	'''Tom:''' "Hits"?\
75	'''Crow:''' [[SureLetsGoWithThat ...um. Yeah.]]
76	* ConspiracyTheorist: Crow makes a documentary, ''Let's Talk Women!'', that initially is supposed to counter the movie's portrayal of women and show how to treat the fairer sex with respect. Because Crow couldn't actually find any women, though, it turns into a conspiracy video.
77	-->'''Crow:''' We begin to ask ourselves: "Where are all the women?" The overheated references in poetry, the images that dominate our media -- is it all an elaborate fraud?
78	** Complete with a grainy black & white photo of a woman in a fur coat that looks an awful lot like a screencap from the famous [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patterson-Gimlin_film "Patterson Bigfoot Film"]]. Here's [[https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/pattersonsbigfoot.jpg "Patterson's Bigfoot"]] and [[https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crowswoman.jpeg "Crow's Woman"]] for comparison.
79	** One person (who suspiciously looks and sounds like Crow with a fake handlebar mustache) claims he met a woman. Then married her.
80	--->'''Crow:''' Did you have any children?\
81	'''Crow!"Man":''' I DON'T REMEMBER!
82	** Mike points out that Pearl is a woman.
83	--->'''Crow:''' ...Okay, so ''one'' woman exists! Does that mean ''all'' women exist?!
84	** Crow then demands Mike name one other woman; [[TheDitz Mike being Mike]], he can't do it.
85	* CoolCar: Subverted with Kevin's car.
86	-->'''Crow:''' Paint my muscle car ''prune color,'' please!
87	* CoolAndUnusualPunishment: The S.O.L. Crew was forced to watch the very bad titular movie after they jump on her couch.
88	-->'''Pearl:''' I am going to give you '''such''' a movie!
89	* DevelopingDoomedCharacters: It sure does take a while for the title creatures to show up on-screen.
90	-->'''Mike:''' Ah, hobgoblins, four hours in.
91	* DisproportionateRetribution:
92	** Pearl using this movie to punish Mike and the 'bots for jumping on her rent-to-own furniture is treated as a beyond the pale [[EvenEvilHasStandards even by her own henchmen]].
93	--->'''Pearl:''' Get... ''[[TheScottishTrope The Movie]]''.\
94	'''Bobo:''' Aaaagh!
95	** A John Agar film festival? [[BigNo NoooooOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOoo!]]
96	* DullSurprise: The patrons at Club Scum aren't exactly frightened of the hobgoblins suddenly popping up.
97	-->'''Servo:''' ''(dully)'' Ah, hah, oh no.
98	* EducationalShort: Shot in black and white with magazine-cutout props and Crow doing his best overly cheerful '50s {{Narrator}} voice, Crow's film about women starts out as a lesson on how to treat the opposite sex with respect before [[MoodWhiplash turning into a paranormal documentary]] (about whether or not women are even real) instead.
99	* EvenEvilHasStandards: Both Bobo and Brain Guy are horrified by the prospect of forcing Mike and the bots to watch ''Hobgoblins''. Bobo ScreamsLikeALittleGirl every time ''"The Movie"'' is even mentioned.
100	* ForgottenFallenFriend:
101	-->'''Crow:''' Nick's a smoking husk right now, he wouldn't mind if we take his van!
102	* FunnyBackgroundEvent: Kyle keeps dancing inside the house while Amy and Daphne argue outside. Crow supplies Creator/JerryLewis noises.
103	* GodzillaThreshold: Variation: Because Mike and the bots ruined her couch by jumping on it and spilling juice all over it, she ''explicitly'' pulls out ''Hobgoblins'' for the experiment.
104	* AHandfulForAnEye: During the rake fight, Crow suggests "Throw some Miracle-Gro in his eyes!"
105	* InsecuritySystem:
106	--> '''Mike:''' Tell me again why they have an elaborate security system ''but they don't lock anything?!''
107	* LogicBomb: "Okay, so ''one'' woman exists. Does that mean ''all'' women exist?" Hilariously, [[RuleOfFunny Mike is utterly stumped when Crow challenges him to name one other woman aside from Pearl.]]
108	* MadeOfIron: After Nick's UnexplainedRecovery after being blown up earlier in the movie:
109	-->'''Crow:''' So the only side effect of his [[KillItWithFire complete immolation]] is... ''mild redness and irritation?''
110	* MakeoutPoint: Upon witnessing the movie's depiction of this, a scenic overlook with ample parking, Servo thinks they must have public funding.
111	* MickeyMousing: The musical stings during the rake fight:
112	-->'''Crow:''' Their garden tools make little Casio sounds.
113	* {{Mondegreen}}: Used mercilessly during "Kiss Kicker", with the SOL crew coming up with, among others, Swiss Knickers, Fish Picker and Pig Licker/Pig Liquor.
114	* MoodWhiplash: Crow's EducationalShort about treating women right downshifts when Crow, suddenly serious, reveals [[ConspiracyTheorist the deep uncertainty over whether or not women even exist at all]].
115	-->'''Crow:''' For you young fellows fresh on the cusp of a blooming manhood, the questions abound! What are women like? What do women want? How should I treat a woman? Perhaps the thorniest problem facing any young man is finding a woman in the first place. It turns out to be... ''nearly impossible.''
116	* MyFriendsAndZoidberg: When Pearl and Bobo FailedASpotCheck on the {{Cardboard Pal}}s, a frustrated [[OnlySaneMan Brain Guy]] corrects himself using the complimentary version of this trope. Mostly out of fear of Pearl's wrath.
117	-->'''Brain Guy:''' Listen, you idiots!\
118	'''Pearl:''' ''(gives him a DeathGlare)''\
119	'''Brain Guy:''' ...and Pearl, you, of course, too.
120	* MyGirlIsASlut:
121	-->'''Crow''': So, Mike, I learned from today's movie that Daphne was a slut, and Amy wasn't fun until she became a slut.\
122	'''Mike''': Well, that's [[UnfortunateImplications the fun message of today's movie]]!
123	* NauseaFuel: Invoked. Mike and the bots get audibly disgusted whenever Daphne starts talking about her busy sex life with meathead army recruit Nick.
124	--> '''Daphne''': ''(singing)'' [[Music/WangChung Everybody have sex tonight!]]\
125	'''Tom''': Everybody ''throw up'' tonight.
126	* ParodyAssistance: ''Hobgoblins'' director Rick Sloane personally submitted the film to [=MST3K=].
127	* PrecisionFStrike: "Kiss Kicker '99" contains the line "You shovel more shit!" This line is completely uncensored in the episode's cut of the movie, though the singer is so incoherent (and Mike and the Bots are talking over him) that the line is extremely easy to miss.
128	* RunningGag:
129	** Whimpering whenever the young security guard is on the screen.
130	** During the second half, Mike and the bots [[SarcasmMode claiming the movie is actually pretty good]], citing multiple "car pulling into the driveway" shots as inspired.
131	** M&TB repeatedly getting the name of the Club Scum bouncer wrong. For what it's worth, it's "Road Rash".
132	* ScrewThisImOuttaHere:
133	** During the ''opening credits'', Servo and Crow repeatedly try to make a run for it, with Mike chasing them down to bring them back to their seats.
134	** Just before the fourth host segment, the movie is getting so bad that Mike resorts to an offscreen plan: distract the Mads with cheap {{Cardboard Pal}}s and [[BadBadActing poorly done pre-recorded riffs and banter]]. By the time Observer has halfway convinced Pearl that these are in fact obviously fake, we see that he and the 'bots had changed into {{Hawaiian shirt\|edTourist}}s and [[ChangingClothesIsAFreeAction instantly packed their luggage]] for their vacation/escape.
135	* ShipTease: When Bobo calls Tom & Crow's "''Hobgoblins'' Crisis Hotline" for advice about the crush he had on "a woman... (looks at Pearl behind him) a woman ''[[InterspeciesRomance not of my species]]''", {{squick}}ing the 'Bots out horribly. [[BaitAndSwitch Turns out it's actually a chimpanzee named Emily.]]
136	* ShoutOut:
137	** Pearl refers to Bobo and Brain Guy as [[WesternAnimation/PinkyAndTheBrain "Pinky" and "Brain"]].
138	** One of the characters says he's got all the time in the world to listen to a long story. Crow responds "Okay, then. [[Literature/MobyDick Call me Ishmael]]."
139	** At Club Scum:
140	--->'''Mike:''' [[Theatre/{{Cabaret}} Wilkommen... bienvenue... welcome...]]
141	* SpeedSex: Mike jokes that one of the male characters suffered this.
142	* StableTimeLoop: Servo's attempt to erase the existence of ''Hobgoblins'' by going back in time and kicking Rick Sloane in the shins [[YouCantFightFate ends up being the latter's inspiration for the movie]].
143	** Appropriately enough, Rick Sloane's admiration for the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' presentation of ''Hobgoblins'' inspired him to create the sequel. According to an [[http://www.badmovies.org/interviews/ricksloane/ interview with Rick Sloane]], he enjoyed the riffing until he got to the part with the faux-interview attacking him personally at the end: "I had never seen them rip apart any other director before on the show." Sloane had clearly not seen episodes like ''Film/{{Mitchell}}'' or the [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S06E09TheSkydivers three]]-[[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S06E19RedZoneCuba movie]] [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S06E21TheBeastOfYuccaFlats ouevre]] of Creator/ColemanFrancis, where creators involved with the original movies were savaged.
144	* StylisticSuck: The prerecorded riffs that accompany the {{Cardboard Pal}}s in the theater are very stilted and generic when compared to the gang's usual quips. This carries out into the following host segment, where they sing an equally uninspired song. Pearl is confused and suspicious, Brain Guy immediately recognizes that they're cardboard cutouts and Bobo thinks the song is a banger.
145	-->'''Cardboard Mike and the 'Bots:''' ''Hobgoblins, hobgoblins / What do you do with those hobgoblins?\
146	They're over here / They're over there / Those darn hobgoblins are everywhere!''
147	* TakeThat: During the... ahem, striptease.
148	-->'''Crow:''' Just as long as Creator/DemiMoore [[Film/{{Striptease}} doesn't come out and start shaking her saline bags]].
149	* TeamDad: Mike shows shades of this. For example, in the middle of the film, Servo pretends to bounce on the sofa that a couple of the characters have fallen asleep on, just like in the first host segment, and goes "Whee, this is fun, this is fun! ''(sobbing)'' No, it's not, no, it's not" and Mike consoles him.
150	* TechnicalPacifist: Parodied. Tom has no problem kicking someone in the shins, but protests that he hates guns and would never have 'Franchise/{{terminat\|or}}ed' Rick Sloane... while holding a machine gun and wearing a black leather jacket and sunglasses. Then he finds out Rick Sloane [[BerserkButton called him "stout"]] and says he's going to go back and kill him.
151	* TimeTravel: Tom uses their station's time machine, as seen in earlier episodes, to travel back in time, hunt down Rick Sloane, and... kick him in the shins, to stop him from ever making ''Hobgoblins''. It results in a StableTimeLoop, as it turns out this incident was what inspired Sloane to make ''Hobgoblins'' in the first place.
152	* ThreeChordsAndTheTruth: "Pig Licker", the song at Club Scum. Mocked by Crow.
153	-->'''Crow''': Chord, chord, chord, chord, chord, other chord.
154	* WhyWeCantHaveNiceThings: Pearl's reaction when she sees Mike and the 'bots bouncing around on the couch and squirting juice boxes.
155	* WithLyrics: "It's TheEighties! Do a lot of coke and vote for UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan!"
156	* YouCanLeaveYourHatOn: [[FanDisservice And the rest of it, too]]. The guys don't think very highly of Amy's hobgoblin-inspired striptease.
157
158	----
159	->''[[TheStinger [Hobgoblins in a golf cart] ]]''

Context Recap / MysteryScienceTheater3000S09E07Hobgoblins