Line #9 Recap/BlackadderS4E1CaptainCook


1	->''I smell something fishy, and I'm not talking about the contents of Baldrick's apple crumble.''
2
3	The first episode of the fourth series opens with Blackadder desperately trying to find a way to get out of an upcoming assault on the German trenches. Having shot down Baldrick's plan of getting out of the trenches by joining the catering corps ([[LethalChef for fairly legitimate reasons]]), Blackadder finds himself summoned to General Melchett's office, where he's informed there's an opening for the position of official war artist. Initially uninterested, Blackadder soon perks up when he hears the job comes with a posting to Paris. The only problem? Edmund can't paint to save his life. Upon discovering Lieutenant George is a fairly competent painter, Blackadder has him do something particularly stirring, then [[BlatantLies passes it off as his own work]] and gets the job ... only to find out that the job of the official war artist actually involves going out into No Man's Land to make sketches of the German defences. When Blackadder's (largely fabricated) sketches only convince Melchett that a full scale attack is needed, Edmund falls back on Baldrick's original plan and joins the catering corps, both getting out of the attack and getting [[LaserGuidedKarma some much needed payback on Melchett and Darling]].
4
5	!!Tropes
6	* ArmchairMilitary: When visiting the trenches, General Melchett reassures Baldrick that he's right behind him. Blackadder then quips that he's actually 35 miles behind him.
7	* BottleEpisode: This is the only episode of the season, (indeed the whole programme), that features only the main cast.
8	* CloudCuckooLander: Melchett.
9	-->'''Blackadder''': ''[after hearing Melchett's InsaneTrollLogic]'' Tell me sir, have you ever visited the planet Earth?
10	* DumbassHasAPoint: Baldrick. Becoming a cook would certainly ensure that he'd get out of the trenches and enjoy a comparatively cushy existence at staff HQ . The only problem with the plan can be seen below, under LethalChef.
11	* ExactWords: Blackadder and his men are sent into No Man's Land to draw enemy troop dispositions. When George remarks that it's too dark to see, Blackadder [[EurekaMoment realizes]] that they can just make anything up and get themselves out of danger. He encourages George to use his imagination ... which results in a picture that's light on arms factories but has plenty of elephants.
12	* GeniusDitz: Exploited. George himself even says that painting was the only thing he was ever really good at, and he wasn't lying. When you can get ''Blackadder'' of all people to appreciate and even compliment your efforts, you're doing something right. Blackadder uses George's artistic talents to try and get out of the trenches by attempting to pass off George's painting as his own. Thanks to Melchett, it works, [[BaitTheDog but only briefly]].
13	* IdiotBall: Despite his earlier scepticism of Blackadder having produced a painting, even enumerating the reasons why, Darling is seemingly easily fooled by the alleged Pope Gregory IX and Italian chefs that subbed in for Melchett's usual kitchen staff. However, his [[SarcasmMode tone]] when assuring Melchett of the...[[LethalChef food's]] quality suggests he was in on the scheme, to trick Melchett into eating it.
14	* LethalChef: Baldrick. This is the flaw in his cunning plan to get out of the trenches by becoming a cook at staff HQ.
15	-->'''Blackadder''': You're the worst cook in the entire world.
16	-->'''Baldrick''': Oh yeah, that's right.
17	-->'''Blackadder''': There are amoeba on Saturn who can boil a better egg than you. Your Filet Mignon in sauce Bernaise look like dog-turds in glue.
18	-->'''Baldrick''': That's because they are.
19	-->'''Blackadder''': Your plum duff tastes like it's a molehill decorated with rabbit-droppings...
20	-->'''Baldrick''': I thought you wouldn't notice.
21	-->'''Blackadder''': ...And your cream custard has the texture of cat's vomit.
22	-->'''Baldrick''': Again, it's...
23	-->'''Blackadder''': If you were to serve one of your meals in staff HQ you'd be arrested for the greatest mass poisoning since Lucretia Borgia invited 500 of her close friends around for a wine-and-anthrax party.
24	* MinimalistCast: This remains the only episode that only features the primary cast and does not feature any guest stars.
25	* PetTheDog:
26	** Melchett's quite friendly with George, passing on regards from George's uncle Bertie and promising him a weekend off so he won't miss the Oxford-Cambridge boat race.
27	** Blackadder genuinely praising George's paintings, possibly a first for the Blackadder line. Of course it's quickly subverted when Blackadder takes credit for them when showing them to Melchett.
28	* ToiletPaperSubstitute: According to Blackadder, this is the only thing ''King & Country'' magazine is good for.
29	-->'''George:''' You can’t deny that this fine newspaper is good for the morale of the men.
30	-->'''Blackadder:''' Certainly not, I just think that more could be achieved by giving them some real toilet paper.
31	* WillingSuspensionOfDisbelief: Discussed when George is getting ready to paint the picture.
32	-->''[George enters, dressed in painter's smock and hat, carrying a palette and easel.]''
33	-->'''Blackadder''': Right. ''[to George]'' You're ready?
34	-->'''George''': Just about sir, yes. Erm, if you'd just like to pop your clothes on the stool.
35	-->'''Blackadder''': I'm sorry?
36	-->'''George''': Just pop your clothes on the stool over there.
37	-->'''Blackadder''': You mean, you want me ... tackle out?
38	-->'''George''': Well, I would prefer so sir, yes.
39	-->'''Blackadder''': If I can remind you of the realities of battle, George, one of the first things that everyone notices is that all the protagonists have got their clothes on. Neither we, nor the Hun, favour fighting our battles ''au naturel''.
40	-->'''George''': Sir, it's artistic licence. It's the willing suspension of disbelief.
41	-->'''Blackadder''': Well, I'm not having anyone staring in disbelief at ''my'' willy suspension. Now, get on and paint the bloody thing, sharpish!

Context Recap / BlackadderS4E1CaptainCook