Line #156 Quotes/TheCaligula


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2
3	[[folder:Films -- Animation]]
4	->'''[[BigBad Yzma]]:''' It is no concern of mine whether your family has... what was it again?\
5	'''Old Man:''' Umm... food?\
6	'''Yzma:''' ''[{{beat}}]'' HAH! You really should have thought of that before you became ''peasants''! Take him away! NEXT!
7	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove''
8
9	->'''Scar:''' I'm the king! I can do whatever I want!\
10	'''Sarabi:''' If you were half the king [[TheGoodKing Mufasa]] was, you'd nev--\
11	'''[[CantTakeCriticism Scar]]:''' ''[smacks her]'' I'M '''''TEN TIMES''''' THE KING [[BerserkButton MUFASA]] WAS!
12	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994''
13
14	->''"ENOUGH! I AM '''KING'''! '''KING!''' '''KING!''' '''KING!''' (jumping up and down on his throne all the while)"''
15	-->-- '''Prince John''', ''WesternAnimation/RobinHood1973''
16	[[/folder]]
17
18	[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
19	->''"I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a God."''
20	-->-- '''Caligula''', ''Film/{{Caligula}}'' (1979)
21
22	->''"If a billion people have to be burned to prove it, my worthiness as a Kim will be DEMONSTRATED!"''
23	-->-- '''Kim Jong-un''', ''Film/TheInterview''
24
25	->'''Oskar Schindler:''' They fear us because we have [[ItAmusedMe the power to kill arbitrarily]]... That's what the emperors had. A man stole something, he's brought in before the emperor, he throws himself down on the ground, he begs for mercy, he knows he's going to die. And the emperor pardons him. This worthless man, he lets him go.\
26	'''Goeth:''' I think you are drunk.\
27	'''Schindler:''' That's power, Amon. ''That'' is power. ''[genuflects]'' Amon the Good.\
28	'''Goeth:''' [[IResembleThatRemark I pardon you!]]
29	-->-- ''Film/SchindlersList''
30	[[/folder]]
31
32	[[folder:Literature]]
33	->''"Perfection, of a kind, was what he was after,\
34	And the poetry he invented was easy to understand;\
35	He knew human folly like the back of his hand,\
36	And was greatly interested in armies and fleets;\
37	When he laughed, respectable senators burst with laughter,\
38	And when he cried the little children died in the streets."''
39	-->-- '''Creator/WHAuden''', "Epitaph of a Tyrant"
40
41	->''"Salome was clad in [[ConspicuousConsumption the barbaric splendor]] of a woman of Shushan. Jewels glittered in the torchlight on her gilded sandals, on her gold breast-plates and the slender chains that held them in place. Gold anklets clashed as she moved, jeweled bracelets weighted her bare arms. Her tall coiffure was that of a Shemitish woman, and jade pendants hung from gold hoops in her ears, flashing and sparkling with each impatient movement of her haughty head. A gem-crusted girdle supported a silk shirt so transparent that it was in the nature of a cynical mockery of convention."''
42	-->-- '''Creator/RobertEHoward''', "Literature/AWitchShallBeBorn"
43
44	->'''Lady Selachii''': He put a horse on his council, remember?\
45	'''Lord Rust''': You have to admit, the horse did a better job than some of the other councilors.\
46	'''Lady Selachii''': A ''flowerpot'' and two people who had been ''beheaded!''
47	-->-- ''Literature/MenAtArms'', about the aptly-named Mad Lord Snapcase
48
49	->''Seen close to, President Kimba was neither as large nor as handsome as his official portraits indicated. Behind the enormous desk he seemed almost dwarfish, the more so as he held himself hunched in his chair in a state of total immobility. Dobrovolsky waited for the period of immobility to end. He knew it would end in one of two ways. Either the man who ruled Zangaro would speak carefully and lucidly, in every sense like a perfectly sane man, or the almost catatonic stillness would give way to a screaming rage during which the man would rant like someone possessed, which was in any case [[HearingVoices what he believed himself to be]].''
50	-->-- ''Literature/TheDogsOfWar''
51	[[/folder]]
52
53	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
54	->'''Caligula:''' Show them our booty! Show them the plunder we gathered from old Neptune! ''[Four soldiers quickly empty two trunks of their contents; thousands of '''dry seashells''' spill out onto the floor.]''\
55	'''Senator:''' [[FlatWhat Seashells?!]]\
56	'''Caligula:''' ''[chuckling to himself with delight]'' Yes! Spoils of the sea; loot from old Neptune! Hee-hee! He'll not take ''me'' on again in a hurry..."
57	-->-- ''Series/IClaudius''
58
59	->''"We've had vicious kings, and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with a ''[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs vicious idiot]]'' for a king!"''
60	-->-- '''Tyrion Lannister''' on Joffrey, ''Series/GameOfThrones''
61
62	->''Everyone is mine to torment!''
63	-->--'''King Joffrey Baratheon''', ''Series/GameOfThrones''
64
65	-> '''Joffrey:''' The king can do as he likes!\
66	'''Tyrion:''' The Mad King did "as he liked." Has your uncle Jaime ever told you [[BodyguardBetrayal what happened]] to ''him''?
67	--> -- ''Series/GameOfThrones''
68
69	->'''Marshal:''' Outbreaks of plague--''and'' rebellion--must be controlled, don't you agree?\
70	'''Doctor''': Marshal, [[YoureInsane you are quite mad.]]\
71	'''Marshal:''' [[WrittenByTheWinners Only if I lose.]]
72	-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', ([[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS9E4TheMutants}} "The Mutants"]])
73
74	->'''Kirk:''' Garth, do you have to make him suffer like that?\
75	'''Garth:''' You will address me by my proper title, Kirk.\
76	'''Kirk:''' I'm sorry. I should've said Captain Garth.\
77	'''Garth:''' I am '''Lord''' Garth, formerly of Izar, and I lead the future masters of the universe.\
78	'''Kirk:''' ''[getting impatient]'' I'm sorry. "''Lord''" Garth.\
79	'''Garth:''' You Earth people are a stiff-necked lot, aren't you?
80	-->-- ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'', ("Whom Gods Destroy")
81	[[/folder]]
82
83	[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
84	->''"Take care, lest your protests grow tiresome. I have asked for so little! Anyone would think that I have asked you to sacrifice yourselves and all your family! And yet, in [[GodOfEvil Slaanesh's]] boundless and pleasing mercy, I have asked only for your daughters. Surely you would not deny me my small enjoyments?"''
85	-->-- '''Tyrell, Renegade Lord of Arden IX''', ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''
86
87	->[[InadequateInheritor Konrad von Carstein]] was completely mad. Even when he had walked among the living, he had the reputation of being [[AxCrazy a blood-mad butcher]], cruel, merciless and insanely ruthless. For his pleasure, [[BadPeopleAbuseAnimals he once had ordered every cat in his domain to be used as spot for his crossbowman]]. On at least two occasions he had peasant villages put to the torch because he didn't like the smell. He tried his mother for the crime of having given birth to him without his consent and then had her [[SealedRoomInTheMiddleOfNowhere bricked up in her own tower]]. Acquiring the power and longevity of one of the Undead did nothing to strengthen his already shaky gasp on reality.
88	-->--''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer}}: Undead Army Book (4th edition)''
89
90	->[[BlackKnight Bougars]]’ laws are confusing, contradictory, and frequently brutal. He has been known to demand that all peasants erect a marble statue of [[FamousAncestor Merovech]] outside their hovel, provide a tithe of [[AnArmAndALeg one freshly severed limb]] per family, and allow themselves to be [[SlaveBrand branded with Bougars’ heraldry]]. The peasants live in fear of Bougars, but they dare not say a word against him—or, especially, against Merovech, since Bougars is perhaps the only person in Bretonnia who [[HorribleJudgeOfCharacter considers Merovech to have been a great and noble man]].
91	-->--''TabletopGame/WarhammerFantasyRoleplay: Barony Of The Damned - An Adventure In Mousillon''
92	[[/folder]]
93
94	[[folder:Theater]]
95	->''"I will do such things -- what they are yet I know not -- but they shall be the terror of the earth."''
96	-->-- '''King Lear''', ''Theatre/KingLear''
97	[[/folder]]
98
99	[[folder:Toys]]
100	->''"His subjects lived in mortal fear of him, and well they should have, considering that finding new and better ways to perform executions was his favorite hobby."''
101	-->-- '''The Shadowed One''' on '''[[MeaningfulName Tyrant]]''', ''Toys/{{Bionicle}}''
102	[[/folder]]
103
104	[[folder:Video Games]]
105	->'''[[MadGod Sheogorath]]:''' More tea, Pelly my dear?\
106	'''Pelagius the Mad:''' Oh, I couldn't. [[OurGhostsAreDifferent Goes right through me]]. Besides, I have so many things to do. So many undesirables to contend with, naysayers, buffoons, detractors... [[OffWithHisHead Why, my headsman hasn't slept in three days!]]\
107	'''Sheogorath:''' You are far too hard on yourself, my dear, sweet, homicidally-insane Pelagius. What would the people do without you? Dance? Sing? Smile? ''[giggles]'' Grow old?
108	-->-- ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim''
109
110	->The Mad Queen Lenaia had a plethora of eclectic fears and phobias including cats, twins, gourds, sea foam green, and the number 14. Her list of phobias was ever-lengthening, and each new addition was accompanied by a predictable escalation of tantrums, gaolings, banishments, and executions.
111	-->-- '''Description of the Mildewed Caraco''', ''VideoGame/SaltAndSanctuary''
112
113	->''"Yes, yes, I murdered countless innocents. Yes, I outlawed religion. Yes, I changed the currency so that everyone’s savings were meaningless and yes, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking I may have gone through a period of bathing in yak’s blood and slamming rails of coke]]. But I’m reformed now! Look at me! Getting this country back on its feet again. Top shape, Ajay. ''[[ImmediateSelfContradiction (sound of Pagan snorting a line of coke)]]'' Top shape."''
114	-->-- '''Pagan Min''', ''VideoGame/FarCry4''
115
116	->''"Endear me? To'' people? ''Ha! That's the last thing I want to do! You're lucky I don't lop off your head like all the others."''
117	-->-- '''The King''', ''VideoGame/OnlyTheBraveCanRescueTheKidnappedPrincess''
118
119	->''"[[EvilLaugh Ha ha ha ha ha!]] Kill!! Burn!!!! Die, you spineless worms!!!!!"''
120	-->-- '''Luca Blight''', ''VideoGame/SuikodenII''
121	[[/folder]]
122
123	[[folder:Web Animation]]
124	->''"The second kind [of evil emperor] is the decadent bad guy. He also doesn't tend to have much influence on the inner workings of his empire beyond the occasional gladiatorial arena, mostly because there's likely to be fourteen layers of bureaucracy between him and the actual civilians. This emperor is a manchild. He does what he wants, indulges whatever villainous ideas he has, and basically just takes advantage of his absolute power. He's very dangerous on a personal scale because he has no constraints and no sense of propriety, and this is why he's generally not really in charge. His bureaucracy is more likely to be made up of overly ambitious people trying to manipulate the system for their own benefit, but the emperor just tends towards some good old fashioned chaotic evil."''
125	-->-- '''WebAnimation/OverlySarcasticProductions''', "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCBIXgYCds4&list=PLDb22nlVXGgcljcdyDk80bBDXGyeZjZ5e&index=6 Trope Talk: Evil Empires]]"
126
127	->[[UsefulNotes/MaximilienRobespierre Max]], we are sending way too many people to the Guillotine.
128	->TO THE GUILLOTINE!!!!
129	-->-- '''WebAnimation/{{Oversimplified}}'''
130
131	->''"Still homeless?'' '''''Why?''''' ''Three homeless? Build a house. Easy. Just don't be homeless."''
132	-->-- '''[[WebAnimation/{{Hololive}} Ouro Kronii]]''' as a dictator in ''VideoGame/FrostPunk''
133	[[/folder]]
134
135	[[folder:Web Original]]
136	->''"Those Empire jerks ruined everything for Caim. They massacred his family, destroyed his kingdom, screwed over his shot at royalty. I wonder how things would have turned out differently if the Empire wasn't around and Caim went on to be king.\
137	''[Shows a picture of UsefulNotes/VladTheImpaler]''\
138	Actually, you know maybe it's best not to think about that..."''
139	-->-- '''LetsPlay/TheDarkId''', LetsPlay ''VideoGame/{{Drakengard}}'' Part Six: "[[http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Drakengard/Update%2006/index.html In Which Inuart Is A Fuckstick]]"
140	[[/folder]]
141
142	[[folder:Western Animation]]
143	->''"People of Isla, first order of business is changing the name of this country. It's now called Bananarama and the national anthem is "Venus". Now DANCE!"''
144	-->-- '''Roger''' as '''General Juanito Pequeño''', ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad''
145
146	->''"[[LargeHam ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!]]"''
147	-->-- '''[[TheMentallyDisturbed The Earl of Lemongrab]]''', ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime''
148
149	->''Caligula was no boy scout\
150	He did things that we can't even talk about\
151	The Romans knew he lost his head\
152	[[CaligulasHorse When he filled a vacant Senate seat with]] Series/MisterEd.''
153	-->-- '''The Brain''', ''WesternAnimation/PinkyAndTheBrain''
154
155	[[/folder]]
156
157	[[folder:Real Life]]
158	->Let them hate me, [[TheDreaded so long as they fear me!]]
159	-->-- '''UsefulNotes/{{Caligula}}''', attributed
160
161	->If only the Roman people had but one throat so I might slit it!
162	-->-- '''Caligula''', also attributed
163
164	->[[AGodAmI I, Caligula am a god!]] [[WithGreatPowerComesGreatInsanity I only have to nod and]] [[SlashedThroat all your throats will be cut!]] [[AxCrazy Rome is just a city of necks waiting for me to chop!]]
165	-->-- '''Caligula''' again, still attributed
166
167	->The repeated motif of 'working towards the Fuhrer' is cleverly seized-upon by Kershaw to show how much Nazi policy originated at lower levels with [[ProfessionalButtKisser ambitious lickspittles and careerists]] pandering to Hitler, and his perennial attraction to the most radical 'solution' to any problem. In the second volume, the best bits are about how the haphazardly evolved structure of the Nazi state meant that, with more and more power invested in a man pathologically incapable of countenancing retreat under any circumstances, almost everyone except Hitler knew that the war was lost, yet were unable - often unwilling - to do anything about it.
168	-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/blog/voluminous-description/ Jack Graham]]''' on ''Hitler: A Biography''
169
170	->Those who do not love me [[IfICantHaveYou do not deserve to live.]]
171	-->-- '''UsefulNotes/MuammarGaddafi'''
172
173	->He kills our people, arrests people who are against his administration. He produces drugs. [[ViceCity It's a national industry.]] He kidnaps other people from South Korea, or other democratic countries. He is doing all sorts of bad things, like the devil. Do not trust him, never, ever.
174	-->-- Union worker '''Kim Duk Hong''' on North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il
175
176	->At one particularly extravagant banquet [Emperor Caligula] burst into sudden peals of laughter. The Consuls, who were reclining next to him, politely asked whether they might share the joke. "What do you think?" he answered. "It occurred to me that I have only to give one nod and both your throats will be cut on the spot!"
177	-->-- '''Suetonius''', ''The Twelve Caesars''
178
179	->One of the many questions which it is the function of the early empire to answer is, "Just how silly can the emperor be without causing the empire to collapse?" The answer, in every case, is "Very silly indeed."
180	-->-- '''John J. Reilly'''
181
182	->If [[UsefulNotes/RichardNixon Nixon]] had not left by helicopter, [[BedlamHouse men in white]] would have taken him away.
183	-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal'''
184	[[/folder]]

Context Quotes / TheCaligula