"If only the Roman people had but one throat so I might slit it!"
— Caligula, also attributed
"I, Caligula am a god! I only have to nod and all your throats will be cut! Rome is just a city of necks waiting for me to chop!"
— Caligula, still attributed
"I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a God."
— Caligula (1979)
Caligula: Show them our booty! Show them the plunder we gathered from old Neptune! (Four soldiers quickly empty two trunks of their contents; thousands of dry seashells spill out onto the floor.)
Caligula: (chuckling to himself with delight) Yes! Spoils of the sea; loot from old Neptune! Hee-hee! He'll not take me on again in a hurry..."
— I Claudius
“I will do such things—what they are yet I know not—but they shall be the terror of the earth.”
"The king can do as he likes!"
— King Joffrey Baratheon, Game of Thrones
"Everyone is mine to torment."
— Joffrey again, Game of Thrones
"We've had vicious kings, and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king!"
— Tyrion Lannister on Joffrey, Game of Thrones
"Take care, lest your protests grow tiresome. I have asked for so little! Anyone would think that I have asked you to sacrifice yourselves and all your family! And yet, in Slaanesh's boundless and pleasing mercy, I have asked only for your daughters. Surely you would not deny me my small enjoyments?"
— Tyrell, Renegade Lord of Arden IX, Warhammer 40,000
Amon Goeth: We have the fucking power to kill, that's why they fear us.
Oskar Schindler: They fear us because we have the power to kill arbitrarily... That's what the emperors had. A man stole something, he's brought in before the emperor, he throws himself down on the ground, he begs for mercy, he knows he's going to die. And the emperor pardons him. This worthless man, he lets him go.
Goeth: I think you are drunk.
Schindler: That's power, Amon. That is power. Amon the Good.
Goeth: (laughingly) I pardon you!
Sheogorath: More tea, Pelly my dear?
Pelagius the Mad: Oh, I couldn't. Goes right through me. Besides, I have so many things to do. So many undesirables to contend with, naysayers, buffoons, detractors... Why, my headsman hasn’t slept in three days!
Sheogorath: You are far too hard on yourself, my dear, sweet, homicidally-insane Pelagius. What would the people do without you? Dance? Sing? Smile? (giggles) Grow old?
"People of Isla, first order of buisness is changing the name of this country. It's now called Bananarama and the national anthem is Venus. Now dance!"
— Roger as General Juanito Pequeño, American Dad!
"He kills our people, arrests people who are against his administration. He produces drugs. It's a national industry. He kidnaps other people from South Korea, or other democratic countries. He is doing all sorts of bad things, like the devil. Do not trust him, never, ever."
—Union worker Kim Duk Hong on North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il
"One of the many questions which it is the function of the early empire to answer is, 'Just how silly can the emperor be without causing the empire to collapse?" The answer, in every case, is 'Very silly indeed.'"
— John J. Reilly
Those Empire jerks ruined everything for Caim. They massacred his family, destroyed his kingdom, screwed over his shot at royalty. I wonder how things would have turned out differently if the Empire wasn't around and Caim went on to be king.
[Shows a picture of Vlad the Impaler]
Actually, you know maybe it's best not to think about that...