Line #42 Quotes/KungFuJesus


1	->''"Action Jesus! Manger sold separately."''
2	-->-- '''Crow T. Robot''', ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' "Santa Claus"
3
4	->''"Wachowski brothers fans have noted the deliberate parallels between the messianic Neo and the Biblical story of the moneychangers in the temple, in which Christ pulled out a Beretta and killed about 50 security guards."''
5	-->--''{{Website/Cracked}}'' on ''Film/TheMatrix''
6
7	->''"Kung-Fu Action Jesus! He's fighting the bad guys and making them pay, with Magic Kung Fu, he'll save the day! It's Kung Fu Action Jesus!"''
8	-->-- ''WebVideo/AvatarTheAbridgedSeries''
9
10	->''"Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 B.C. 4.0 Beta, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]]"''
11	-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'''
12
13	->''"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! '''I have overcome the world'''."''
14	-->--'''Jesus''', ''Literature/TheBible'', John, 16:33 (NIV)
15
16	->''"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword."''
17	-->--'''Jesus''', ''Literature/TheBible'', Matthew, 10:34 (NIV)
18
19	->[Being held up by two Iraqi soldiers]\
20	"''My children, you should know something.''\
21	'''''...I'm packing.'''''"
22	-->--'''Jesus''', in the episode ''Red Sleigh Down,'' WesternAnimation/SouthPark
23
24	-> ''"This summer, let he who is without sin...''kick the first ass''."''
25	-->--''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
26
27	-> ''SUPER JESUS: Where is your Satan now!?"''
28	-->--FauxtivationalPoster using the page pic.
29
30	-> ''"Jesus Christ... Superstar... [[BadassBiker burning 'round the corner on a Yamaha]]"''
31	-->-- Parody of ''Theatre/JesusChristSuperstar''
32
33	-> ''You can't do what Jesus can do (Jesus shits all over you)\
34	There are three of him, and there's only one of you (and Jesus can fly)\
35	He can cure a blind man, you can't cure the flu\
36	He's a zombie wizard, who also knows kung fu''
37	-->-- '''Music/TheAxisOfAwesome''', "What Would Jesus Do"
38
39	-> ''Jesus is coming, and he is pissed!''
40	-->-- '''Bill Robinson''', Stephen King's ''Film/MaximumOverdrive''
41
42	->"''Imagine if Jesus knew kung-fu; that's what everybody is dealing with.''"
43	-->-- '''John Morrison''', ''ECW on Sci-Fi''
44
45	-> ''[Fred Dryer] was TV's Hunter?! That's like finding out Jesus knew karate! Imagine that, Stan, karate Jesus!''
46	-->-- '''[[CloudCuckooLander Xander Crews]]''', ''WesternAnimation/FriskyDingo''
47
48	->''"Alright, motherfuckers. In times like this, religion is often forgotten, so I'm gonna remind you of how awesome Jesus is. First off, his [[PowerLevel power level]] is fucking 9,001. THAT IS [[MemeticMutation OVER 9 THOUSAND]]! Show some respect for that. He'd kick all your asses. Second, he dares to have a Mexican name despite the fact that he is not Mexican. Only the greats do that. Third, he could conjure water and self-rez when his [[PartyWipe group wiped]] for the fifth fucking time that night so no one had to run back. That's a fucking time-saver right there! And finally, he is a great supporter of cannibalism. So much so that he actually ENCOURAGES people to eat his flesh and drink his blood. Any questions?"''
49	-->--taken from a Website/GaiaOnline roleplay post

Context Quotes / KungFuJesus