Line #10 Quotes/ILoveLucy


1	->''"In [[BigApplesauce this city]] live Lucy and Ricky Ricardo.'' \
2	''Of course, you know Ricky as the famous orchestra leader and singer.''\
3	''And Lucy is the famous, um, well she's...''\
4	''[[TriviallyObvious her hair is very red. And she's married to Ricky.]]''\
5	''In this little district close to theaters and nightclubs where Ricky works,''\
6	''they have a little apartment where they laugh, love, and thoroughly enjoy life."''
7	-->--'''Opening Narration to {{Pilot}}'''
8
9	[[foldercontrol]]
10
11	[[folder:Season 1]]
12
13	->'''Lucy:''' What's the matter? What are you standing up for?
14	->'''Ricky:''' Because two gorgeous ladies entered the room.
15	->'''Lucy:''' They did? Where?
16	->'''Ethel:''' They mean us.
17	->'''Lucy:''' Oh! You great big latin lover you![she pinches Ricky's cheek]
18	->'''Ethel:''' Oh! You sweet, handsome man you! [she pinches Fred's cheek]
19	->'''Ricky:''' You gorgeous, exciting, woman you! [he pinches Lucy's cheek]
20	->'''Fred:''' I pass.
21
22	->'''Fred:''' Hey Rick, are you doing anything Monday night?
23	->'''Ricky:''' I don't think so. It's my night off, why?
24	->'''Fred:''' I'd like you to join me in commemoration of an 18-year-old tragedy.
25	->'''Ricky:''' What do you mean?
26	->'''Fred:''' Well, it's our wedding anniverary.
27	->'''Ricky:''' Oh, you want us to join you in the celebration?
28	->'''Fred:''' I'd prefer to think of it as a grim reminder.
29
30	->'''Lucy:''' [getting weighed] How much do I weigh?
31	->'''Ricky:''' 47 pounds and stop leaning on me.
32
33	->'''Ethel:''' What if I cried every time I put on a pound?
34	->'''Fred:''' We'd be up to our ears in tears.
35	->'''Ricky:''' [Lucy was hiding under the table with the dog to steal tablescraps] What do you have to say for yourself?
36	->'''Lucy:''' [holds her hands up like a dog] Arf arf arf!
37
38	->'''Lucy:''' Lets see, it was either the upstairs maid, or the butler, or the cook.
39	->'''Ricky:''' It was her husband.
40	->'''Lucy:''' Her husband? He didn't have any reason to do it.
41	->'''Ricky:''' He was married wasn't he?
42
43	->'''Ricky:''' Lucy's acting crazy!
44	->'''Fred:''' Crazy for Lucy or crazy for ordinary people?
45
46	->'''Ethel:''' What's the matter?
47	->'''Lucy:''' You're looking at a future doornail.
48	->'''Ethel:''' Huh?
49	->'''Lucy:''' Ricky just tried to kill me.
50	->'''Ethel:''' [smiling] Really? Then I'm a better fortune teller than I thought![pause] What am I saying? What are you talking about?
51	->'''Lucy:''' I overheard him on the phone! He's been planning this a long time, and he finally decided to do it! Last night was just a dress rehearsal.
52	->'''Ethel:''' Oh, no, Lucy, you must have just misunderstood him.
53	->'''Lucy:''' No, I didn't, he took a shot at me already, but he missed!
54	->'''Ethel:''' [They look for a bullet hole] Was that the noise I heard just now?
55	->'''Lucy:''' Yeah, he bought a gun specially for it. Let's see if it's in that desk!
56	->'''Ethel:''' [Lucy finds a gun in the desk] Oh, you poor thing!
57	->'''Lucy:''' [Lucy picks up an ink blotter] Ricky wrote something when he was talking on the phone and he blotted it on this blotter!
58	->'''Ethel:''' [Moves away from the desk] Where are you going?
59	->'''Lucy:''' The mirror!
60	->'''Ethel:''' Mirror? Oh, so you can read it! My, you're clever!
61	->'''Lucy:''' I don't read mystery books for nothing.
62	->'''Ethel:''' [Reading the list] Helen, Anne, Mary... What does it mean?
63	->'''Lucy:''' [Wailing] I'm not even cold yet and Ricky's lining up girls to take my place! Helen, Anne, Mary, Cynthia, Alice, Theodore. [does a double-take] THEODORE!
64
65	->'''Lucy:''' [Thinking Ricky has poisoned her] Ricky, no matter what you've done, I forgive you. [She collapses]
66	->'''Ricky:''' Thank you!
67	->'''Lucy:''' [Dragging herself back up before falling down again] You're welcome.
68	->'''Ricky:''' Geez! That's a powerful sleeping powder!
69	->'''Lucy:''' [Standing up] Sleeping powder? Ha! The sleep from which no-one returns.
70	->'''Ricky:''' Oh, honey, come on, you better lie down. Let me help you lie down! Lie down, honey, lie down!
71	->'''Lucy:''' Don't rush me! I'll be lying down for a long, long time.
72	->'''[Falls asleep on the couch]:'''
73	->'''Lucy:''' I got a Mickey from Ricky.
74	->'''Ricky:''' She seems to have some idea that I'm going to kill her.
75
76	->'''Ricky:''' Listen, Professor, can you play that thin'?
77
78	->'''Lucy:''' What thin?
79	->'''Ricky:''' Never mind makin' fun of my English.
80	->'''Lucy:''' That's English?
81
82	->'''Lucy:''' Hello, I'm looking for Risky Riskardo.
83	->'''Ricky:''' Oh, well I'm Ricky Ricardo.
84	->'''Lucy:''' Oh nice to meet you, do you know where I can find Risky Riskardo?
85	->'''Ricky:''' Can you play that instrument there?
86	->'''Lucy:''' Where?
87	->'''Ricky:''' [points] There.
88	->'''Ricky:''' There.
89	->'''Lucy:''' [follows his arm, looks to the cello] Oh! That instrument!
90	->'''Ricky:''' Can you play it?
91	->'''Lucy:''' Oh, well... naaah!
92
93	->'''Lucy:''' You know, I've been thinking about shows like Burns and Allen. George Burns uses his wife on the show. Why don't you?
94	->'''Ricky:''' I'd love to! Do you think she would leave George?
95
96	->'''Ricky:''' For goodness' sakes don't tell Lucy, will you? If she knows the audition is tonight she'll be pestering the life out of me to get into the act. How am I gonna get rid of her for the day?
97	->'''Fred:''' Well, you could lock her in the bathroom. If she stays in there as long as Ethel does she'll never even know the door's locked.
98
99	->'''Ethel:''' Ethel to Tillie, Ethel to Tillie, come in Tillie!
100
101	->'''Mr. Merriweather:''' Tillie, is that you?
102	->'''Lucy:''' [In a high voice] Yes, it's meeeeee, Tillieeeeeee!
103	->'''Mr. Merriweather:''' But, Tillie, that sneeze! Are you sick?
104	->'''Lucy:''' Sick? I'm dead!
105
106	->'''Mr. Merriweather:''' My horoscope says no more business after noon today.
107	->'''Lucy:''' Oh, you follow horoscopes?
108	->'''Mr. Merriweather:''' Yes! I'm Scorpio.
109	->'''Lucy:''' I'm Taurus.
110	->'''Ricky:''' I'm cooked.
111	->'''Lucy:''' Now, you read that book and see for yourself, Five.
112	->'''Ricky:''' Five?
113	->'''Lucy:''' Yeah, that's your name in numerology, I figured it out.
114	->'''Ricky:''' Oh, no...
115	->'''Lucy:''' You might be going through life with the wrong name. Hey, I better figure out the right one for you! Maybe if you're something besides Five, it'll help our vibration.
116	->'''Ricky:''' Lucy!
117	->'''Lucy:''' What?
118	->'''Ricky:''' [Pretending to be hurt] Don't you like the way I vibrate?
119
120	->'''Ethel:''' Good morning, Lucy.
121	->'''Lucy:''' [to Ricky] She's a woman.
122	->'''Ricky:''' I guess so.
123	->'''Ethel:''' Well, thanks! Now that that's settled, how are ya, Three?
124	->'''Lucy:''' I'm fine, Seven.
125	->'''Ricky:''' [Groaning] Oh...
126	->'''Lucy:''' Five got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning.
127	->'''Ricky:''' Goodbye, Three.
128	->'''Lucy:''' Goodbye, Five!
129	->'''Lucy:''' [To Ricky] Why do you have that idiotic smile on your face?
130	->'''Ricky:''' I was just thinking of a perfect Sixteen I used to know.
131	->'''Lucy:''' Oh, get out of here!
132	->'''Mr. Merriweather:''' Oh, you study numerology?
133	->'''Lucy:''' Of course.
134	->'''Mr. Merriweather:''' I'm a 1.
135	->'''Lucy:''' I'm a 3.
136	->'''Ricky:''' I'm a 5.
137	->'''Mr. Merriweather:''' We're all odd, aren't we?
138
139	->'''Lucy:''' [at false seance, introducing Ethel in disguise] This is Madam Ethel Mertzola. She'll be our medium tonight. She's psychopathic.
140
141
142	->'''Ethel:''' Well, I must say you're taking it calmly.
143	->'''Lucy:''' Now it comes. What's on your mind, Ethel?
144	->'''Ethel:''' Look, honey, you don't have to pretend with me. I come to you this morning not just as a landlady, not just as a friend, but as a shoulder upon which to weep in this time of crisis.
145	->'''Lucy:''' Well, I think you've been twisting those curlers too tight.
146
147	->'''Ricky:''' Aw, honey, I don't care anything about that new dancer.
148	->'''Lucy:''' Hah!
149	->'''Ricky:''' Aw, honey, you can trust me.
150	->'''Lucy:''' I can, huh?
151	->'''Ricky:''' Why sure. I'm as faithful as an old dog.
152	->'''Lucy:''' Yeah, old Rover!
153
154	->'''Ricky:''' [When Lucy suggests performing as a USO singer] Have you ever heard Lucy sing?
155	->'''Fred:''' No.
156	->'''Ricky:''' Our fighting men have been through enough.
157
158	->'''Ricky:''' Lucy's been acting strange lately!
159	->'''Fred:''' Strange? How can you tell?
160
161	->'''Lucy:''' There's just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.
162	->'''Fred:''' Your feet?
163
164	->'''Jean Valijean Raymand:''' Oh, madame, but you have such a beautiful hand!
165	->'''Lucy:''' Oh, really? Well I have another one just like it!
166
167	->'''Jean Valijean Raymand:''' Oh, but you don't understand, madame! The apache dance is a dance of amour. One must warm up to it.
168	->'''Lucy:''' Yeah, well I think you started warming up on the way over here!
169	->'''Jean Valijean Raymand:''' I can't help it. I can't help that there's a pounding in my heart.
170	->'''Lucy:''' You don't watch out, there'll be a pounding on your head!
171
172	->'''Ladies Club Chairwoman:''' You have just seen Mrs. Glazingham's play entitled Pearl One, Drop Two, or Much Ado about Knitting.
173
174	->'''Lucy:''' Time to make another call to Ethel. [disguised voice] Hello, this is the Ajax Salvage Company. We buy old glass, I understand you have some rings that you're interested in selling.
175	->'''Ricky:''' Ha ha ha ha!
176	->'''[Fires air hammer into the phone]:'''
177	->'''Lucy:''' [to Ricky] Think harder, we can be nastier than that.
178
179	->'''Ricky:''' Now look, Lucy, we're not going to go over all this again. You cannot be in the show.
180	->'''Lucy:''' Give me one good reason.
181	->'''Ricky:''' You have no talent.
182	->'''Lucy:''' Give me another good reason.
183
184	->'''Lucy:''' Here I am with all this talent bottled up inside of me and you're always sitting on the cork.
185
186	->'''Lucy:''' Now, what about boys your own age?
187	->'''Peggy:''' Oh, they're all so icky.
188	->'''Lucy:''' They're icky, huh?
189	->'''Peggy:''' Yeah. Except Arthur... Arthur Morton. He's wonderful. He's got curly hair, big, sad eyes, and floppy ears. He looks like Gregory Peck.
190	->'''Lucy:''' Sounds more like Lassie!
191
192	->'''Arthur:''' But... You're a woman.
193	->'''Lucy:''' Yes, my husband likes me that way.
194
195	->'''Ricky:''' Why are we whispering?
196	->'''Lucy:''' If my feet find out this was my idea, they'll kill me.
197
198	->'''Ricky:''' [Finds Lucy soaking her feet] What's the matter?
199	->'''Lucy:''' I gave Arthur a dancing lesson.
200	->'''Ricky:''' Arthur? Arthur who?
201	->'''Lucy:''' Believe me, it wasn't Arthur Murray!
202
203	->'''Peggy:''' I can't believe this whole thing! Why, I just saw you at rehearsal yesterday, dancing around and beating your conga drum.
204	->'''Ricky:''' Oh, yes. Well, I'm glad you saw that. That was my farewell performance.
205	->'''Lucy:''' Yeah, he's ba-ba'd his last lu.
206
207	->'''Peggy:''' Do you still know how to dance?
208	->'''Lucy:''' [insulted] I think I can recall a few variations on the Turkey Trot.
209
210	->'''Lucy:''' [trying to discourage teenage neighbor Peggy from her infatuation with Ricky] Well, there's a little thing you overlooked, Peggy. Ricky is married.
211	->'''Peggy:''' I know. Doesn't that make it sophisticated!
212	->'''Lucy:''' Well, yes.
213	->'''Peggy:''' And he's so much more worldly than the boys I know.
214	->'''Lucy:''' Well, I should hope so. He's a little older, too.
215	->'''Peggy:''' I know. He's middle-aged!
216	->'''Lucy:''' What?
217	->'''Peggy:''' He must be pushing 23.
218	->'''Lucy:''' Yeah, he's pushing 23 all right. In fact, he's pushed it all the way to 35. I suppose you think that I'm pushing 23, too?
219	->'''Peggy:''' Oh, no. A woman can always tell another woman's age.
220	->'''Lucy:''' Yes, well, now about Ricky. You know, there's another thing you overlooked, Peggy.
221	->'''Peggy:''' What?
222	->'''Lucy:''' I love him, too.
223	->'''Peggy:''' I was afraid of that. You're gonna be terrific competition.
224	->'''Lucy:''' Well, thanks.
225	->'''Peggy:''' Gosh, you've got that 'certain something'.
226	->'''Lucy:''' Well, that's... that's quite a compliment. But how would a girl your age know that I have that 'certain something'?
227	->'''Peggy:''' I can tell by the way my mother looks at my father when my father looks at you.
228
229	[[/folder]]
230
231	[[folder:Season 2]]
232
233	->'''Ricky:''' Believe me, if you traded places with me, you'd be surprised.
234	->'''Lucy:''' [pregnant, but hasn't yet told Ricky] Believe me, if I traded places with you, YOU'D be surprised!
235
236	->'''Lucy:''' I’ve been feeling really dauncy.
237	->'''Ethel:''' Dauncy?
238	->'''Lucy:''' That’s a word my grandmother made up for when you’re not really sick but you’re feeling lousy.
239	->'''Ethel:''' Lucy...You don’t suppose you’re gonna have a baby?”
240	->'''Lucy:''' A baby?
241	->'''Ethel:''' Yeah. That’s a word my grandmother made up for tiny little people.
242
243
244	->''"Next time you want a hamburger without onions, ''ask'' for a hamburger without onions! Don't just stand there yelling, "Bring the bull in the ring and laugh in his face"!''
245	->--'''Lucy''', about Ricky's attempt at [[HashHouseLingo diner slang]], "The Diner".
246
247	->'''Fred:''' Let's just hope for the best.
248	->'''Lucy:''' Don't worry, Fred, Ethel'll come back.
249	->'''Fred:''' I said let's hope for the BEST.
250
251	->'''Ricky:''' What do you know about rice?
252	->'''Fred:''' Well, I had it thrown at me on one of the darkest days in my life.
253
254
255	->'''Lucy:''' But Ricky, tonight is Monday. You were going to take me to a movie and dinner.
256	->'''Ricky:''' I was?
257	->'''Lucy:''' Well, I didn't tell you about it yet, but you were.
258
259	[[/folder]]
260
261	[[folder:Season 3]]
262
263	* After Ethel tells their friends that Lucy has sworn not to tell a lie for a full day:
264	->'''Caroline Appleby:''' Caroline Appleby: Lucy, how old are you?
265	->'''Marion Strong:''' Marion Strong: How much do you weigh?
266	->'''Ethel:''' Ethel Mertz: What color would your hair be if you didn't dye it?
267	->'''Lucy:''' Lucy Ricardo: 33, 129, and mousey brown.
268
269	->'''Fred:''' Rick, did I ever tell you what happened to Ethel and me on our honeymoon?
270	->'''Ricky:''' [with a touch of sarcasm] Not lately.
271	->'''Fred:''' Oh. Did I tell you, Lucy?
272	->'''Lucy:''' Yes.
273	->'''Ethel:''' [Fred turns toward Ethel] I was there!
274
275
276	->'''Ricky:''' Lucy, you remember the musicians' picnic last Fourth of July?
277	->'''Lucy:''' Oh, what a day that was.
278	->'''Ethel:''' What happened?
279	->'''Lucy:''' Oh, well, we...
280	->'''Ricky:''' I'll tell it, Dear. The musicians' local was having a picnic... and all the boys in the band wanted to go... We left about, eh, ten o'clock.
281	->'''Lucy:''' It was twelve o'clock.
282	->'''Ricky:''' No, Dear, it was ten o'clock.
283	->'''Lucy:''' No, Honey, it was twelve o'clock.
284	->'''Ricky:''' Well, what's the difference?
285
286	->'''Lucy:''' We're gonna be on television.
287	->'''Fred:''' Who is?
288	->'''Ethel:''' Our Women's Club.
289	->'''Fred:''' Well, that ought to bring back movies.
290
291	[[/folder]]
292	[[folder:Season 4]]
293
294	->'''Clerk:''' Now, what's the date of your birth?
295	->'''Lucy:''' August sixth.
296	->'''Clerk:''' August sixth, what?
297	->'''Lucy:''' August sixth, period.
298
299
300	->'''Lucy:''' [to Ethel, after they fight] Happy Birthday, and I hope you live another 75 years!
301
302	->'''Ethel:''' [Lucy] said I looked like a hippopatamus.
303	->'''Lucy:''' I merely intimated that she was a little hippy but on second glance she does have the biggest potamus I've ever seen.
304
305	[[/folder]]
306	[[folder:Season 5]]
307	->'''Ricky:''' Why are you so interested that I go to the studio party tomorrow night?
308	->'''Lucy:''' You want the truth?
309	->'''Ricky:''' That would be refreshing, yes.
310	->'''Lucy:''' The whole truth?
311	->'''Ricky:''' That would be even more refreshing.
312	->'''Lucy:''' I lied.
313	->'''Ricky:''' That sounds like the truth.
314
315
316
317
318	->'''Conductor:''' [after Lucy has pulled the train's emergency stop handle] Madam, did you stop this train by pulling that handle?
319	->'''Lucy:''' Well I didn't do it by dragging my feet.
320
321	->'''Lucy:''' What happened? You look like you ran into something.
322	->'''Ricky:''' I did.
323	->'''Lucy:''' What?
324	->'''Ricky:''' The back of the train.
325
326	* Ethel pulls out her birth certificate
327	->'''Fred:''' Show it to 'em, Honey.
328	->'''Ethel:''' No.
329	->'''Lucy:''' She doesn't want us to see the year
330	->'''Fred:''' Put your finger over the year. I thought they might like to see what Lincoln's signature looks like.
331
332
333	->'''Dr. Peterson:''' I'm the doctor who brought your wife into the world.
334	->'''Ricky:''' Oh you are? Well I don't know whether to thank you or punch you in the nose!
335
336	->'''Ricky:''' Will somebody mind telling me what's going on here?
337	->'''Ethel:''' Why? You'll never believe it.
338	->'''Lucy:''' Well now, I just figured maybe I'd have to stow away if I wanted to get to Europe and I knew that a seal could live in there, so I supposed maybe I could and when I tried it on for size, I got locked in it.
339	->'''Ricky:''' [to Ethel, deadpan] What makes you think I wouldn't believe it?
340
341	[[/folder]]
342	[[folder:Season 6]]
343	->'''Ricky:''' Ricky, what are you going to say when you meet your grandmother?
344	->'''Little Ricky:''' 'Buenos días, abuela.'
345	->'''Ricky:''' Very good. Very good.
346	->'''Little Ricky:''' What are you going to say, Mommie?
347	->'''Lucy:''' What, dear?
348	->'''Ricky:''' What are you going to say when you meet my mother?
349	->'''Lucy:''' Oh. 'Bonos dyes, may-dree.'
350	->'''Ricky:''' 'Bonos dyes, may-dree?' Heh, heh, Honey, it's 'Buenos días, madre.'
351	->'''Lucy:''' I don't think that's very nice, making fun of my Spanish.
352	->'''Ricky:''' Well, you've been making fun of my English for fifteen years.
353	->'''Lucy:''' Well, that's different. Spanish is a foreign language.
354	->'''Ricky:''' Well, English is a foreign language to me.
355	->'''Lucy:''' Well, the way you speak it, it is to me, too.
356
357	->'''Ethel:''' Oh, just think. You'll be visiting your relatives in a foreign land. Sometimes I wish I had married a Cuban.
358	->'''Fred:''' That makes two of us.
359
360	->'''Lucy:''' [Ricky tells Lucy that he was unable to get Superman for Little Ricky's birthday party] Oh, I've already told Little Ricky and all the other children...
361	->'''Ricky:''' Well, Honey, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't cross your bridges before they're hatched.
362	->'''Lucy:''' What?
363	->'''Ricky:''' You shouldn't burn your chickens behind you.
364
365	->'''Ricky:''' [yelling at Lucy because she is out on the ledge] In the fifteen years that we've been married...
366	->'''Superman:''' Wait a minute Mr. Ricardo, do you mean to tell me that you've been married to her for fifteen years?
367	->'''Ricky:''' Yes, fifteen years.
368	->'''Superman:''' And they call me Superman.
369

Context Quotes / ILoveLucy