1 | ->''Anyway, dogs make good pets because they are very loyal. (NOTE: When I say "loyal," I mean "stupid." I once wrote a column in which I said dogs are stupid, and I got a lot of nasty mail from people who insisted, often with misspelled words, that dogs are intelligent. Perhaps from their point of view dogs are intelligent, but I don't want to get into that here. I'll just stick with "loyal.")'' |
2 | -->-- '''Creator/DaveBarry''', ''The Problem with Pets'' |
3 | |
4 | ->''1. "Bark!"\ |
5 | 2. "Time to eat!"\ |
6 | 3. "Bark! Bark!"\ |
7 | 4. "Here's an object! I'd better pee on it!"\ |
8 | 5. "Or have sex with it!"\ |
9 | 6. "Bark! Bark! Bark!"\ |
10 | 7. "Mmmm! Crotch!"\ |
11 | 8. "Time to eat again!"\ |
12 | 9. "Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!"\ |
13 | 10. "Bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark­bark!"'' |
14 | -->-- ''Creator/DaveBarry's Money Secrets'', "The Ten Basic Dog Thoughts" |
15 | |
16 | ->''Is this the dumbest dog in America? People screaming and dying all around him and he's standing there like he wants to be burned alive.'' |
17 | -->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick''', on Boomer in ''Film/IndependenceDay''. |
18 | |
19 | ->''My name is Runt, but my master calls me Stupid. What a nice guy!'' |
20 | -->-- '''Runt''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'' |
21 | |
22 | ->SCRRREEEEECCCCHHH! A car slammed on its brakes and missed me by a couple of feet. A couple of feet! I mean, if the driver had been one millisecond slower to hit the brakes, I'd have been roadkill. But my complete dog-brain reaction to that near-death experience was, "Cool! I smell something!" |
23 | ->[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I'm totally serious]]. The fact that [[TheNoseKnows I smelled some other dog's pee on a curb]] was about ten thousand times more interesting to my dog brain than the squealing car was. |
24 | -->--''Literature/{{Animorphs}} #10: The Android'' |
25 | |
26 | ->''I don't think a dog,'' |
27 | ->''Has a brain in his head.'' |
28 | ->''You'd never see me,'' |
29 | ->''Doing dumb things like that'' |
30 | ->''Because I'm really smart.'' |
31 | ->'''I am a cat.''' |
32 | -->-- ''There's a Dragon in my Wagon'', "Dogs Are Dumb" |
33 | |
34 | ->'''Owen''': Sometimes it's so nice to sit and think. |
35 | ->'''Dingo''': Yeah. |
36 | ->''Beat panel'' |
37 | ->''Beat panel'' |
38 | ->'''Dingo''': I'm actually just sitting. |
39 | -->-- ''Owen Comics'', [[http://owencomics.com/comic/just/ just]] |
40 | |
41 | |
42 | ->Yippie-tie-yi-yo, stay awake little doggie!\ |
43 | I wish you could sing but I know that you can't\ |
44 | Yippie-tie-yi-yo, stay awake little doggie!\ |
45 | The sunshine is bright but I know that you aint. |
46 | -->-- ''Literature/HankTheCowdog'': "Slim's Boring Song" |
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