Line #30 Quotes/AutomatonHorses


1	-> ''"Physics? [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch]], I'm a ''horse''!"''
2	-->-- An ''[[Franchise/TheElderScrolls Elder Scrolls]]'' [[MemeticMutation Fandom In-joke]]
3
4	-> ''"Players tend to treat horses like motorcycles: They are vehicles which can go anywhere you can walk, will never wander off, have no fear, feel no pain, and can travel at top speed for as long as you like."''
5
6	-> ''"And if you think players abuse the rules surrounding backpacks, just wait until they get their hands on the greatest of all interdimensional containers, '''saddlebags'''."''
7	-->-- ''Webcomic/{{DM of the Rings}}''
8
9	->Imagine three thousand Persian lancers, thundering up to a wretched little earthen wall, guarded by not more than a thousand terrified, pathetic, wretched infantrymen. They sweep the enemy aside, right? Like an avalanche! Well, not exactly. There are problems.\
10	First, each cavalry mount has been hauling a man (a large man, more often than not) carrying fifty pounds of armor and twenty pounds of weapons -- not to mention another hundred pounds of the horse's own armor. At a full gallop for half a mile, in the blistering heat of a Syrian summer. So, the horses are winded, disgruntled, and thinking dark thoughts.\
11	Two — all hearsay to the contrary -- horses are not stupid. Quite a bit brighter than men, actually, when it comes to that kind of intelligence known popularly as "horse sense." So, when a horse sees looming before it:\
12	a) a ditch\
13	b) a wall\
14	c) lots of men on the wall holding long objects with sharp points\
15	The horse stops. Fuck the charge. If some stupid man wants to hurl himself against all that dangerous crap, let him. (Which, often enough, they do — [[HorsingAround sailing headlong over their horse's stubborn head]].)\
16	It was the great romantic fallacy of the cavalry charge, and Belisarius had been astonished—all his life—at how fervently men still held to it, despite all practical experience and evidence to the contrary. Yes, horses will charge—against infantry in the open, and against other cavalry. Against anything, as long as the horse can see that it stands a chance of getting through the obstacles ahead, reasonably intact.\
17	But no horse this side of an equine insane asylum will charge a wall too high to leap over. Especially a wall covered with nasty sharp objects. And there's no point trying to convince the horse that the infantry manning the wall are feeble and demoralized.\
18	"Is that so? Tell you what, asshole. Climb off my back and show me. Use your own legs. Mine hurt."
19	-->--''[[Literature/BelisariusSeries An Oblique Approach]]'', David Drake and Eric Flint
20
21	-> ''"The horses in [[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim Skyrim]] just ''do not give a fuck''. If there's anything within a half-mile radius that means you harm, the horse will not rest until it's been powderized. Except when you're sitting on the horse, and since you can't attack from horseback either you both can jolly well sit there looking dopey while wolves chew your stirrups off."''
22	-->-- '''[[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee]]''', on the horses of ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim''
23
24	->''"Do you think horses can gallop all day long without rest?"''
25	--> -- ''[[http://www.rinkworks.com/fnovel/ The Fantasy Novelist's Exam]]''
26
27	->These horses very rarely have any needs, skills or character of their own and the differences between them are usually limited to coat colors, or perhaps a speed or stamina parameter. Horses in open world games can usually trot or canter forever and gallop for short bursts, much like the games’ human protagonists can briefly sprint, but climb and jog forever. (...) The horses are never the focus of these games, but a means to traverse the game world.
28	-->-- ''[[https://www.themanequest.com/blog/2018/9/22/the-dual-nature-of-horses-in-video-games The Dual Nature of Horses in Video Games]]'' article
29
30	->The great horse trotted into the stableyard and halted outside the double door, swishing his tail. Mort slid off and ran for the house.\
31	And stopped, and ran back, and filled the hayrack, and ran for the house, and stopped and muttered to himself and ran back and rubbed the horse down and checked the water bucket, and ran for the house, and ran back and fetched the horseblanket down from its hook on the wall and buckled it on. Binky gave him a dignified nuzzle.
32	-->--''Literature/{{Mort}}'' considerably subverting this trope
33
34	->'''Bonnaire:''' Come on. Come on, you useless nag! For the love of God!\
35	'''D'Artagnan:''' ''(rides up tutting)'' It's a classic mistake. A horse can gallop two miles at most. If you'd kept doing a nice, even canter you might have escaped.\
36	'''Bonnaire:''' Yes, I suppose if I was a farm boy I would have known that!\
37	'''D'Artagnan:''' ''(nods smugly)'' Now get down. You can walk back and give that horse a rest.
38	-->--''Series/TheMusketeers''

Context Quotes / AutomatonHorses