Line #21 JustForFun/WhyYouShouldDestroyThePlanetEarth


1	->'''Minion''':'' Did you say "destroy the planet"? Because I thought we were [[TakeOverTheWorld conquering it]]!''
2	->'''Mastermind''':'' Destroying ''is'' conquering. It's true, I looked it up.''
3	-->-- '''WebAnimation/{{Mastermind}}''': '''[[VideoGame/MastermindWorldConqueror World Conqueror]]'''
4
5	So you're an aspiring OmnicidalManiac, [[JustForFun/HowToInvadeAnAlienPlanet alien invader]], or plain old disgruntled MadScientist or EvilSorcerer and want to destroy the planet Earth, or at least KillAllHumans? Good for you! However, to avoid being a gauche GenericDoomsdayVillain, why not get yourself a proper motivation to destroy humanity from among the items on this list?
6
7	# Because HumansAreTheRealMonsters.
8	## [[HumansAreWarriors Humans are warlike]], and it's better to kill 'em [[DoUntoOthersBeforeTheyDoUntoUs before they kill you!]]
9	## In point of fact: [[Series/BabylonFive They killed your leader!]]
10	## Not only that, they have a [[Literature/EndersGame school in space dedicated to teaching kid geniuses how to destroy you]].
11	## Because [[HumansAreCthulhu humanity poses a real threat]] to your [[HiddenElfVillage Hidden]] [[OurElvesAreDifferent Space-Elf]] [[HiddenElfVillage Village.]]
12	## Humans are destroying the planet Earth's ecosystem, so [[KillAllHumans killing all humans]] will [[GreenAesop save the planet]]... [[FridgeLogic oh wait]], if you destroy the planet, it will also destroy the ecosystem. Well, at least they won't be able to spread like weeds throughout the galaxy, doing unto countless other ecosystems as they've already done to, say, certain parts of New Jersey. It's okay though, since you're above those PunyEarthlings.
13	## [[AbusivePrecursors After creating your race, they've been bad parents.]]
14	## In fact, they [[TurnedAgainstTheirMasters enslaved]] your [[Series/BattlestarGalactica2003 robotic]]/[[VideoGame/StarControl genetic]] ancestors [[CreatingLife after creating them.]]
15	## [[InYourNatureToDestroyYourselves They'll cause their own extinction anyway regardless if you attack them or not]], so why not do them a favor and [[MercyKill put them out of their misery?]]
16	## [[LogicalFallacies To prevent them from destroying the earth.]]
17	## [[AntiHumanAlliance Because it will help patch up relations with neighboring aliens]].
18	## Because humans [[ScaryDogmaticAliens are an inferior race]] and their [[FeelingOppressedByTheirExistence existence]] disturbs the [[CrystalSpiresAndTogas serenity and peace]] of your [[CantArgueWithElves wise, benevolent, and in every way more advanced culture]]. If you wait too long the humans will be [[ScrewYouElves ungrateful for being shown your obvious superiority]].
19	## Because a band of bratty teenagers [[Literature/TheTripods found some hand grenades and blew up some of your people]]. Who knows what the rest of them might do?
20	## Because one human [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings cut off your finger and stole your ring.]]
21	## Because a human married an elf princess and [[Literature/TheSilmarillion stole a jewel from your crown]]
22	## Still another human [[Literature/TheChildrenOfHurin killed seventy of your trolls and then insulted you when you interrogated him.]] They're [[HumansAreWarriors a menace!]]
23	## Worse yet - because they invented [[JustForFun/TVTropesWillRuinYourLife this site]].
24	## To rid the universe of all traces of [[Franchise/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy the worst poetry in the universe, written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex]].
25	## Because [[CrapsackWorld their world]] [[ItIsBeyondSaving is beyond saving]].
26	## Because they even have sites [[HumansAreInsane discussing the reasons for their own destruction!]]
27	## Because humans are [[HumansAreCthulhu just plain weird!]]
28	## Because [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking they invented]] [[FauxHorrific pop music, Disco and Rap]].
29	## Because they'll destroy the universe with their [[Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace stupid, stupid minds]].
30	## Because [[NoBiochemicalBarriers Aliens Are Tasty]], and we need to stop those horrific mutants from expanding and eating the whole galaxy for their amusement.
31	## Because [[MostWritersAreHuman They are disproportionately represented in media.]] I mean really, sometimes [[EarthIsTheCenterOfTheUniverse they think they are at the center of the universe!]] [[HumansAreSpecial And they're just so... special!]]
32
33	# Because AliensAreBastards.
34	## It would bring [[ProudWarriorRace glory to your race]].
35	## Because [[HumansAreSpecial humanity poses a potential threat]] to your EvilEmpire.
36	## Because your ten thousand year old empire cannot tolerate any [[TabletopGame/{{Traveller}} other race learning the secret of interstellar travel and forming an empire of its own]].
37	## Because your millennia-old society cannot tolerate any [[Series/DoctorWho other race learning the secret of time travel and forming an empire of its own]].
38	## [[NeglectfulPrecursors After creating humanity, you just want to mess with them.]]
39	## [[AbusivePrecursors You created humanity to mess with them.]]
40	## [[Film/AVPAlienVsPredator Because the aliens you planted on the planet eons ago have escaped]], so [[GoneHorriblyWrong kill them before they can spread any further]].
41	## Because [[HumansAreUgly humans are just plain hideous]].
42	## Because humans are [[Anime/FutariWaPrettyCureSplashStar too dang noisy]].
43	## [[VideoGame/{{Iji}} Because other aliens have destroyed every other planet already.]]
44	## Because you [[Film/IndependenceDay need a new place to live and humans are occupying the space.]]
45	## For reasons your [[PunyEarthlings puny mind]] wouldn't [[BlueAndOrangeMorality understand.]]
46	## Because you are collecting [[GalacticConqueror conquests]].
47	## For the [[ForTheEvulz pure joy]] of it.
48	## [[ButForMeItWasTuesday We destroyed]] [[InsignificantLittleBluePlanet an "Earth"?]]
49	## [[FantasticRacism Because humans are a blight]] [[ScaryDogmaticAliens and the universe must be cleansed of impurity]].
50	## [[DisproportionateRetribution Because you got a traffic ticket]] last time you visited Earth and are [[HairTriggerTemper real sore about it]].
51	## Because {{God}} [[Literature/TheSilmarillion made you share authority over earth with others]].
52	## Because your reasons are [[EldritchAbomination utterly incomprehensible]].
53	## Because humans finally got tired of you [[TheFairFolk curdling their milk and kidnapping their babies]], and have lots of weapons made of [[ColdIron Iron]].
54	## Because Humans are [[Literature/TheHighCrusade primitive superstitious folk with crude weapons]] They should be [[TemptingFate easy to enslave.]]
55	## [[Film/ANewHope Because Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration, you're far too trusting!]]
56
57	# Because Aliens are ''[[EldritchAbomination alien]].'' And [[HordeOfAlienLocusts hungry.]]
58	## [[ImAHumanitarian Humans]] taste [[ToServeMan yummy.]]
59	## [[PlanetEater The Planet Earth tastes yummy.]]
60	## [[VideoGame/StarCraft Their planet is contaminated by another alien species]].
61	## Because Earth is [[SarcasmMode clearly]] a hideous DeathWorld with a poisonous atmosphere and creatures nothing short of {{Eldritch Abomination}}s. It is [[StarfishAliens your race's]] ''[[NecessarilyEvil duty]]'' to eliminate this terror from the universe.
62	## Because humans (or their [[OurSoulsAreDifferent souls or something]]) [[PoweredByAForsakenChild make a good power source]], say perhaps because your race can [[Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica harvest the energy of their emotions]] by engaging in vaguely [[DealWithTheDevil Faustian]] bargains with humans, and destroying the Earth is the fastest way to get all all those little emotions.
63	## Because you want to [[TheGreys kidnap other races]] for your [[MadScientist experiments]] and if Earth is still there they will just run away back home; [[HumansAreSpecial humans are difficult]] to keep locked up after all.
64
65	# [[ForTheEvulz Because You Can.]]
66	## Because the Earth is filled with constant pain and suffering, therefore, the only way to end the suffering is mass euthenasia.
67	## Because [[BreakTheCutie you had a bad day]], [[TheWoobie everyone hates or bullies you]], and [[GodIsEvil God]] and [[CrapsackWorld the world]] are [[TheChewToy bent on making you suffer,]] while being unable to commit suicide alone, and [[WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds the only way to make it stop is]] [[SuicidalCosmicTemperTantrum subjecting all to euthanasia]]. ''Waaaaaah!'' Or getting [[ThereAreNoTherapists therapy]], but that's expensive.
68	## ForScience! ... or because everybody expects you to.
69	## [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes Because it obstructs your view of Venus.]]
70	## Because it's in the way of a [[Franchise/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy hyperspace bypass]].
71	## Because you need to create a hyperspace shortcut so [[WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague you can attack your enemy's homeworld directly]].
72	## Because [[TheyCalledMeMad they called you mad]]. You'll show them, '''YOU'll SHOW THEM ALL!!!'''' Muwahahahahahaha!!!!! They may not have been wrong, though...
73	## Because [[IfICantHaveYou if you can't have it, nobody will]]!
74	## Because [[VideoGame/KatamariDamacy you had too much to drink]]. Admit it, already!
75	## Because it's [[ButForMeItWasTuesday Tuesday]].
76	## Because you're bored and [[PastimesProvePersonality need something to do]]. I think everyone should destroy a planet at least once. [[EvilFeelsGood It is so invigorating]].
77	## Because [[StrawNihilist life is meaningless, morality a sham, and love, hope, and dreams are illusions of a deluded mind!]] Therefore the only worthwhile purpose left is to destroy everything and [[SuicidalCosmicTemperTantrum put an end to the pointless suffering that is existence!]]
78	## Because [[TheFettered life is important, morality absolute, and love, hope and dreams the most important things in the universe.]] [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans And Planet Earth is in their way.]]
79	## [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}} Because you ran out of other stuff to fight.]]
80	## Because you are [[VictoryIsBoring bored conquering other races]], you are [[ChallengeSeeker seeking a challenge]] and earth contains the [[HumansAreWarriors only race in the galaxy]] worth the bother of destroying.
81	## Because you got a [[MinorInjuryOverreaction paper cut]].
82	## Because you [[SpoiledBrat never get what you want.]]
83	## Because you want the many precious resources ''very'' deep within it, reachable only with an EarthShatteringKaboom (and, hey, AsteroidMining lacks the glamour of a planet being blown up apart.)
84	## [[BlatantLies "Earth? No, I've never heard of this 'Earth'. Mars has always been between two asteroid belts."]]
85
86	And of course, it's absolutely possible to [[MikeNelsonDestroyerOfWorlds destroy the planet Earth, or some other world, purely by accident]].
87
88	[[AC: Off site references:]] %% Aren't we encyclopedic now?
89	* ''[[http://qntm.org/?why Why destroy the Earth?]]''

Context JustForFun / WhyYouShouldDestroyThePlanetEarth