Line #42 Funny/UpInSmoke


1	* The opening scene of Cheech being so dazed after waking up that he stumbles into the bathroom and ends up [[MistakenForToilet peeing in a laundry hamper]] ''across the room from the toilet''.
2
3	* Pedro and the Man meet for the first time when Chong hitchhikes with fake breasts.
4	-->'''Man:''' I slept in a ditch last night and almost froze my balls off.
5	-->'''Pedro:''' I didn't even think you ''had'' any!
6
7	* Pedro, trying to find a joint to share with Chong:
8	-->'''Pedro:''' No, that's my dick... ''[finds it]'' Here it is.
9	-->'''Chong:''' I hope your dick's bigger than this, man.
10
11	* "Am I driving OK?" "I think we're parked."
12	** This is followed by Pedro beginning to freak out, so Man gives him what he thinks is some drugs that will mellow him out until...
13	-->'''Man:''' Hey, man, don't eat those.
14	-->'''Pedro:''' Hey, man, I already took them, man!
15	-->'''Man:''' ''[[OhCrap Ohhhhh!]]''
16	-->'''Pedro:''' What do you mean, "''Ohhhhh!''"?!
17	-->'''Man:''' Oh, wow, man!
18	-->'''Pedro:''' [[IAteWhat Hey, what]] ''[[IAteWhat WAS]]'' [[IAteWhat that shit, man?!]]
19	-->'''Man:''' [[WhamLine You just ate the most acid I've EVER seen anybody eat in my entire life!]]
20	-->'''Pedro:''' I never had no acid before, man!
21	-->'''Man:''' I hope you're not busy for about a month!
22	-->'''Pedro:''' [[FreakOut Shit! I'm going to die, man! That shit's gonna make me die, man!]]
23	-->'''Man:''' No, that's good acid, man.
24	-->'''Pedro:''' [[MotorMouth It's going to make me freak out, man!]]
25	-->'''Man:''' Relax, man!
26	-->'''Pedro:''' [[MotorMouth I've seen those guys that had too many acid, their heads look like a pumpkin, like THAT, man!]]
27	-->'''Man:''' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting HEY, MELLOW OUT, MAN!!]]''''' Now, just go "Oommmmmmm"...
28	-->'''Pedro:''' What?
29	-->'''Man:''' Do it! "Ommmmmmm...."
30	-->'''Pedro:''' Ohhhh!
31	-->''(They begin to chant together, with Pedro slipping in an "Ohhh, shit!" at one point until he calms down.)''
32	-->'''Man:''' There. You better now, man?
33	-->'''Pedro:''' Yeah...
34	-->'''Man:''' You mellow?
35	-->'''Pedro:''' Yeah.
36	-->'''Man:''' Feel alright, huh?
37	-->'''Pedro:''' Yeah!
38	-->'''Man:''' '''[[JumpScare RAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!]]'''
39	-->'''Pedro:''' GODDAMN, MOTHERFUCKER! ''GODDAMN!'' WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN?!
40	-->'''Man:''' Sometimes that helps!
41	* Cheech, talking to the cop while stoned.
42	--> "My license? It's on the bumper."
43	--> "Here's your momma!"
44	--> "His name is ''RAAAAAALPH'', man."
45
46	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUmVd4RQZCo Chong spills Ajax on a plate. A woman sees it and thinks that it's cocaine...]]
47
48	* The marijuana van is overheating. A cop pulls Pedro and Chong over and gets high off the fumes.
49	--> '''Cop:''' "What do you guys want?"
50	--> '''Cop:''' "[[RealisticDictionIsUnrealistic Do you mind if I have a, bite of your, ah, hot dog?]]"
51	--> '''Chong:''' "What was he ''on'', man?
52	--> '''Cheech:''' "I don't know but I wish we had some of it!"
53
54	* Chong on the police dispatch with Sgt. Stadenko: "Was that Lard Ass?" "[[BerserkButton HARD HAT, HARD HAT!!!]]"
55	** In a deleted scene: "The van was last seen headed to your momma's bedroom."
56	** The end to that bit:
57	--> "Radio dispatch! Do you know who this is?"
58	--> "No, who is this is?"
59	--> "This is Sargent Stadenko!"
60	--> "Oh, yeah? You know who this is?"
61	--> "...No...!"
62	--> "Bye-bye, lardass!"
63
64	* "Fuck me, Alex!"
65	** "I didn't know your name was Alex, man!"
66
67	* The ''entire'' [[Music/AliceCooper Alice]] [[Music/DavidBowie Bowie]] performance.
68
69	* "You mean we're smoking dogshit, man?"
70
71	* In the courtroom when Pedro takes the judge's glass of water to give Man a drink.

Context Funny / UpInSmoke