1 | * Conspiracy Brother discussing the prevalence of the BlackDudeDiesFirst trope. |
2 | -->'''Conspiracy Brother:''' A movie? C'mon man! Why, so I can fall in love with a cute black man that [[Film/ForrestGump teaches white people everything they know about the shrimp industry]] before they ''kill'' him 30 minutes into the movie? Huh? Hey, why don't you walk down that tunnel, black man? Hey Black Man, [[Film/JurassicPark turn on the generator, there's dinosaurs out there!]] Hey Black Man, look out! He's got a gun! |
3 | -->'''Gets shot in his bullet-proof vest''' |
4 | -->'''Conspiracy Brother:''' Oh, I'm hit! But my vest caught it, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]] Yes! I'm alive! |
5 | ** This become a HilariousInHindsight when you realize Creator/DaveChappelle, who played Conspiracy Brother, [[WhatCouldHaveBeen was actually going to play Bubba]] in ''Film/ForrestGump'', but dropped out when he thought that it wasn't gonna be a hit. To this day, he regrets that choice. |
6 | * The main intern at the BROTHERHOOD a secret spy organization dedicated to protecting black people the world over is the TokenWhite Lance. DaChief admits that they were forced to hire him because of affirmative action. |
7 | * Undercover Brother learns that there actually is a world-wide conspiracy to oppress black people. Although as to what extent it's responsible for ''all'' their ills... |
8 | -->'''Undercover Brother:''' Are you telling me there really is a "Man"?\ |
9 | '''Conspiracy Brother:''' What do you think? Things don't just happen by accident! Sometimes people - mostly ''white'' people - make things happen!\ |
10 | '''Undercover Brother:''' So the conspiracies we've believed for all these years are true? The [[UsefulNotes/NationalBasketballAssociation NBA]] really did institute the three point shot to give white boys a chance?\ |
11 | '''Smart Brother:''' Absolutely!\ |
12 | '''Undercover Brother:''' Then the entertainment industry really ''is'' out to get Creator/SpikeLee?\ |
13 | '''Conspiracy Brother:''' Come on, man! Even Music/{{Cher}}'s won an Oscar! ''CHEEEEER!''\ |
14 | '''Undercover Brother:''' Then [[Creator/OJSimpson O.J.]] really didn't do it?\ |
15 | [''[[EveryoneHasStandards everyone looks away and mumbles]]'']\ |
16 | '''The Chief:''' We... we ain't got time for this! |
17 | * Sistah Girl and White She-devil's fight. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFPTpD6Bu6E#t=3m05s With a healthy dose]] of PassThePopcorn. And the condoms. |
18 | * DaChief turns to a framed picture of Creator/DannyGlover behind him as he says, "[[Film/LethalWeapon I'm getting too old for this shit]]." |
19 | * Mr. Feather's progression of using more and more JiveTurkey lingo, culminating in this exchange. |
20 | -->'''Mr. Feather''': (''After being denied entry to the helicopter [[YouHaveFailedMe for failing]]'') Hey! Don't go dissing me!\ |
21 | '''The Man''': That Feather went out like a sucka. Punk-assed bitch played himself. Let's bounce, dog! |
22 | * Lance's [[UnstoppableRage reaction]] to [[BerserkButton being called a ''sissy''.]] |
23 | * This final conversation: |
24 | -->'''Undercover Brother:''' Behind every great black man...\ |
25 | '''Conspiracy Brother:''' Is the police!\ |
26 | '''Smart Brother:''' A bunch of slow, white athletes!\ |
27 | '''White She-Devil:''' Cute butt.\ |
28 | '''Lance:''' Probable cause. |
29 | * "Oh shit, it's Macy Gray with porkchop sideburns!" |
30 | * Everything about the "Caucasian Vision" procedure. It ends with him screaming "CAUCASIAN OVERLOAD! CAUCASIAN OVERLOAD!!" after reacting with horror to stuff like ''Series/MurderSheWrote'' or ''Theatre/{{Riverdance}}'' as if they're some sort of unbearable BrownNote to a black person. |
31 | -->'''Undercover Brother''': ''[[Film/TheSixthSense I see white people...]]'' |
32 | * Anything [[ConspiracyTheorist Conspiracy]] [[InsaneTrollLogic Brother]] says, but that's no surprise as it's Dave Chappelle. Particularly his assertion that George Washington Carver made the first computer [[CloudCuckooLander "out of a peanut."]] And this gem: |
33 | -->'''Conspiracy Brother''': Lemme tell you something about the word "good", brotha... "Good" is an ancient Anglo-Saxon word "go-od", meaning the absence of color, I.E.: "it's all good", which it is, or "Film/GoodWillHunting" meaning "I'm hunting niggas"! So if you say "good morning" to me, you're saying: "I'M GONNA KILL YOUR BLACK ASS FIRST THING IN THE MORNING"!!! |
34 | * This: |
35 | -->'''Conspiracy Brother''': What the fuck? Chief! I've never seen this bitch in my secret agent classes! I'm still paying the loans off, man! I sleep on a pissy mattress! I ain't got good food to eat! I borrow money for my weed! I quit! That's it. Y'all ain't got Conspiracy Brother Jones to kick around anymore! Give me a pillow case... I'm joining the Klan! |
36 | * The fact that the self-destruct sequence only happened because Conspiracy Brother walked up to a button labeled "ATOMIC CORE" and just pushed it to see what it would do. |
37 | -->'''Conspiracy Brother:''' My bad! |
38 | * Lance starts freaking out about the secret lair counting down to self-destruction. UB slaps him twice to make him gather his wits (DIG IT. DIG IT HARD!) Lance quietly calls him "Daddy". |
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