Line #12 Funny/RogerEbert


1	* "Friends don't let [[Series/{{Jackass}} Jackasses]] drink and drive."
2	* When Ebert really doesn't like a movie, expect [[CausticCritic an epic beatdown]].
3	* His announcement that he had created a {{Website/Twitter\|X}} page: "This Just In!: I am a Twit."
4	* Ebert expected to drive a BiasSteamroller over the film of ''Literature/AtlasShrugged''. [[https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/atlas-shrugged-2011 It didn't quite end up like that]].
5	* "[[Film/{{North}} I hated this movie! Hated hated hated hated hated this movie! Hated it! Hated every simpering, stupid, vacant, audience-insulting moment of it!]]" [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=982R2eAhL54 He once read it out loud]].
6	* The entire ''Film/DeuceBigalowEuropeanGigolo'' saga. "Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."
7	* The [[InsultToRocks "bottom of the barrel"]] monologue in his review of ''Film/FreddyGotFingered''.
8	--> "This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."
9	* His [[NoJustNoReaction outright]] [[BrokeTheRatingScale refusal]] to give ''Film/TheHumanCentipede'' a rating.
10	--> "I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine."
11	* His entire ''Your Movie Sucks'' book.
12	* This bit from his review of ''Film/AnatomyOfHell'':
13	--> Breillat is the bold French director whose specialty is female sexuality. [..] But sometimes she is just plain goofy, as in "Anatomy of Hell," which plays like porn dubbed by bitter deconstructionist theoreticians.
14	* When Creator/VincentGallo retaliated to Ebert's extremely negative review of ''Film/TheBrownBunny'' by calling him a "fat pig", Ebert replied with "One day I will be thin, but [[InsultBackfire Gallo will always be the director of ''The Brown Bunny'']]."
15	** Gallo then declared that he had put a hex on Ebert's colon. Ebert's response was that he'd just gone in for a colonoscopy, his colon was fine, and watching the procedure was still more interesting than ''The Brown Bunny''.
16	** The foreword to "Your Movie Sucks" talks about Ebert and Gallo finally meeting face-to-face. Gallo said he was being sarcastic and his words were taken out of context. Ebert replied [[DoWrongRight he missed in any case]], [[GallowsHumor because he got cancer in his saliva glands]].
17	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkwVz_jK3gA Outtakes from a 1987 promo shoot]] for the episode reviewing ''Film/NoWayOut1987'', ''Film/TheBigEasy'' and ''The Fourth Protocol''.
18	* ''Film/RomeoMustDie'': The last paragraph is Roger listing various observances with the movie, ending with "This movie needs a screenplay."
19	* ''Film/TheCrocodileHunterCollisionCourse'' has Roger uttering "Crikey!" four times.
20	* His review of ''Film/MilkMoney'', where it's written as two studio execs. [[https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/milk-money-1994 It must be read to be believed.]]
21	* Remarking that [[Film/LaraCroftTombRaider Lara Croft]] has great [[BaitAndSwitch ears.]]
22	* ''"Film/MadDogTime'' is the first film I have ever seen that does not improve on viewing a blank screen for the same period of time.....this movie should be cut into free ukulele picks for the poor."
23	* ''Film/PinkFlamingos'':
24	--> "Note: I am not giving a star rating to ''Pink Flamingos'', because stars simply seem not to apply. It should be considered not as a film but as a fact, or perhaps as an object."
25	* In his review of ''Film/AIArtificialIntelligence'', he registers his opinion that the film's theme of AndroidsArePeopleToo is meaningless because computers simply can't be sapient... then adds, "I sincerely hope [[Franchise/ToyStory Buzz Lightyear]] is not reading these words."

Context Funny / RogerEbert