Line #56 Funny/Heathers


1	'''As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff as per policy.]] Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
2
3	* For the [[Theatre/HeathersTheMusical musical]], see [[Funny/HeathersTheMusical here]]
4	* For the [[Series/Heathers2018 2018 show]], see [[Funny/Heathers2018 here]].
5
6	----
7	!!The Film
8	* In the beginning of the movie, we see three of the Heathers play croquet. When it's Heather Chandler's turn, her ball ends up hitting Veronica's head, while Veronica is for some reason buried in the ground up to her head.
9	* "[[MemeticMutation I love my dead gay son!]]"
10	* "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!"
11	* "Dear diary: My teen-angst bullshit now has a body count..."
12	* [Veronica writing in diary] "Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads. Killing Heather would be like offing the wicked witch of the west... wait east. West! God! I sound like a fucking psycho."
13	* The cops finding the mineral water at the site of the "gay suicide pact" crime scene: "This explains everything."
14	* "Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make!"
15	* J.D. may have been AxCrazy, but some of his [[DeadpanSnarker snark]] was pretty funny:
16	-->'''Kurt:''' Hey, Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags policy?\
17	'''J.D.:''' Well, they, uh, seem to have an open door policy on assholes, though, don't they?
18	* J.D. lighting the cigarette off Veronica's burn.
19	* Arguing with J.D. over whether she wanted to kill Kurt and Ram, Veronica plugs her ears and [[IgnoringBySinging loudly sings "Mary Had a Little Lamb"]]. Duke and [=McNamara=] walk by, overhear and, not knowing the subject matter, find it cute.
20	* Veronica's matter of fact delivery of the line, "If Heather [Duke] was going to cut her wrists, the knife would be spotless"
21	* Veronica's hell-and-back casual spectatorship of JD's suicide.
22	* The LargeHam preacher's spiel at Heather Chandler's funeral, blaming "the MTV video games" and exhorting Heather's classmates to turn to "that [[TotallyRadical RIGHTEOUS dude]]. It's JESUS, and he's IN THE BOOK."
23	** Afterwards, Heather's loving friends take time to silently pray at her casket:
24	-->'''[=McNamara=]:''' Oh God, this is a tragic thing, and sometimes I have a hard time dealing with it and stuff. Please send Heather to Heaven and all that.
25	--> '''Peter:''' Dear God, please make sure this never happens to me, cause I don't think I can handle suicide. Plus, early acceptance into an Ivy League school and please let it be Harvard. Amen.
26	--> '''Ram:''' Jesus, God in Heaven, why did you have to kill such hot snatch? It's a joke, man. Jeez, people are so serious. Hail Mary, who aren't in heaven, pray for all us sinners so we don't get caught. --Another joke, man.
27	--> '''Duke:''' I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times, and I felt bad every time I did it, but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. (smiles) Praise Jesus! Hallelujah!
28	--> '''Veronica:''' Hi, I'm sorry. Technically I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey, who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nice place. Amen. Did that sound bitchy?
29	* J.D. and Veronica spending a good 10 seconds attempting to produce phlegm to spit in Heather C.'s drink.
30	* "Stupid child-proof caps!"
31	* Heather Chandler's last words before dying: "Corn nuts!"
32	* Any of the exchanges between Jason and the scene-stealing "Big Bud" Dean. Plus, Veronica's reaction to them.
33	--> Oh great, the Beaver's home!
34	* Heather Duke's little "why?" at the end of [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pal_3dkJUv0 the croquet scene]]
35	* This:
36	--> Principal: ''I've seen a lot of bullshit - Angel Dust, Switchblades, sexually perverse photography exhibits involving [[{{Squick}} tennis rackets]].''
37	--> Teacher: [slight DoubleTake]
38	* "Our love is God. Let's go get a Slushee."
39
40	!!Other
41	* A Tumblr user called we-killed-the-dinosaurs created a series of comic strips featuring an AU scenario in which, as J.D. prepares to detonate himself, the school blows up anyway because Veronica accidentally grabbed the wrong bomb. Both of them realizing they're royally screwed, they flee and become sort of a half-assed OutlawCouple, living on stolen slushies and acting generally like a bickering married couple. It is darkly hilarious.
42	* An animatic of Yo Girl done by "MissyAsylum" is full of tension and suspense...until Veronica shoves JD out of her room at the end and he just stands there looking dejected. No "Meant To Be Yours" for you.
43	** Made even funnier when he smiles, points at a video mentioned above and states via speech bubble, "You should totally check out my solo."

Context Funny / Heathers