Line #423 Funny/CabinPressure


1	* "Abu Dhabi":
2	** Douglas lays on the snark with a trowel so heavy you'd think he was building a house out of the stuff. Especially when Martin tries to pull rank... much mileage is had from the simple emphasis of the word "''sir''".
3	** The cold opening, with Douglas pretending he's trying to land the plane while heavily drunk (he isn't really).
4	--->'''Douglas:''' It could be Fitton Airfield. Or a field. Or the [=A45=]. It's not the ''sea'', because that's ''blue''...
5	** Douglas isn't enthusiastic about diverting to Bristol.
6	--->'''Douglas:''' We ''could'' go to Bristol. I imagine people ''do''.
7	** The entire discussion on cats, when Martin realises he's left a cat in an unheated hold for an eight hour flight.
8	--->'''Martin:''' It's not going to be frozen in a block of ice.\
9	'''Douglas:''' Not unless it's a cartoon cat.
10
11	--->'''Martin:''' Cat CSI isn't going to descend on us.\
12	'''Douglas:''' I don't know, they're ''frightfully'' busy these days.
13	** On "Scrooge [=McDuck=] Airlines", thanks to Carolyn's penny-pinching, the chef is Arthur. '''[[LethalChef Arthur]]'''. Dinner consists of Surprising Rice and orange stuff.
14	--->'''Arthur:''' I spent hours on it.\
15	'''Martin:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Arthur, I very much hope that you mean by that you spent hours]] [[EpicFail removing the lids from our delicious catered food]].\
16	'''Douglas:''' Which, in fairness, we are ''totally'' prepared to imagine of you.\
17	[...]\
18	'''Doulgas:''' Arthur, you're aware the point of giving us separate meals is so we can't both get food poisoning. There's really not much point if you're just going to poison us in two different ways.
19	* "Boston": Mr. Leeman doesn't want to put out a cigarette, so Arthur's response is to, when the fire alarm sounds, spray him down with the fire extinguisher, which gives him a heart attack. Arthur then decides to give a eulogy:
20	-->'''Arthur:''' Well, goodbye, then. I feel someone should, um, say a few words. ''[He unfolds a piece of paper]'' Hamilton R. Leeman. Born 1943 in...America, probably; died 2008 in the sky – definitely. Non-vegetarian option. I didn’t know you for very long, Mr. Leeman, but I’ll always remember you as...as a shouty man. You loved to shout; shout and smoke – those were your twin passions. And so, i-in a way, I suppose you died doing what you loved: shouting and smoking, and covered in foam. I don’t know if you liked that. You probably didn’t. Still, goodbye! Rest in peace! ''[beat]'' [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Thank you for flying MJN Air!]]
21	* "Douz":
22	** MJN needs a new brochure, and a discussion arises on the previous cover photo:
23	--->'''Arthur:''' Mum’s reprinting our company brochure, and she said I could have a go at taking a picture for the cover.\
24	'''Douglas:''' Oh dear. Does that mean we’re losing the current one?\
25	'''Martin:''' The one with Carolyn strangling a customer?\
26	'''Douglas:''' I always thought that summed up MJN Air rather well.\
27	'''Arthur:''' She's fluffing his pillow! ... but yes, [[NotHelpingYourCase it does look strangle-y]].
28	** With a BrickJoke later:
29	--->'''Douglas:''' So, Arthur. In your quest to find the one image which perfectly sums up MJN Air and everything it stands for, you've elected for [[ItMakesSenseInContext a shot of twelve Scottish cricketers in the Sahara Desert wearing swimsuits and carrying a fire engine]].\
30	'''Arthur:''' Yes!\
31	'''Douglas:''' Hmm. The awful thing is, I sort of know what you mean.
32	** In order to deal with the obstructive manager of the Douz airport, Carolyn goes to Douglas for assistance, but [[AreYouPonderingWhatImPondering takes a moment to check]] that his solution to the problem is ''not'' "set the manager's office on fire".
33	--->'''Douglas:''' I ''wasn't'', but now that you've suggested it... are you up for that?
34	** The ultimate solution is both funny and awesome, and pays back on a BrickJoke about Douglas stealing jet fuel to speed his car. Unable to ''fly'' the jet, which is otherwise fully fuelled (thanks to a spot of creative "reappropriation"), out of the airport they simply decide to ''drive'' it twenty miles down the road.
35	* "Edinburgh":
36	** Annoyed by Mr. Birling, Martin gets a bit sulky again and assumes (wrongly) that it's a class thing. This brings up the fact Arthur went to a private school. And not, as even he admits, a good one. How bad was it? He was head of the class one year.
37	** The reveal that Mr. Birling, who lives in Sussex and is voiced by the ''very'' English-sounding Geoffrey Whitehead, is in fact a proud Welshman.
38	--->'''Martin:''' But he sounds more posh than the queen!\
39	'''Arthur:''' Posh Welsh. They sound like us.
40	** As they're waiting in the airport for Mr. Birling to return, Arthur finds himself phoned by Carolyn, who wants to make sure Douglas isn't engaging in his usual Birling Day theft. This is while Arthur is checking the ''plane'' for a TV aerial.
41	--->'''Carolyn:''' This is "[[NoodleIncident go check the window boxes]]" all over again...
42	* "Fitton":
43	** The episode opens by showing that Arthur has learned rather a lot from Douglas' in-flight announcements:
44	--->''[bing bong!]''\
45	'''Arthur:''' ''[posh voice]'' Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, lords and ladies, Your Majesty. This is your captain speaking, Captain Wing Commander Sir Arthur Shappey, welcoming you aboard this world record-attempting flight around... ''the world.'' Er, passengers on both sides of the aircraft should have excellent views of... ''the world.'' If you find we're going over a bit of the world you like the look of, er, do please ring your little bell and one of the cabin crew will fit you with a parachute and chuck you out! Otherwise, enjoy the flight and, er, when we get to UsefulNotes/{{Sydney}}, do keep an eye out for the Sydney Harbour Bridge, I'm gonna have a crack at ''flying underneath it!''\
46	'''Carolyn:''' ''[knocking at the flight deck door]'' Hey, Wing Commander! Less yammering, more hoovering!\
47	'''Arthur:''' Sorry, Mum! ''[switches on hoover]''
48	** All of Arthur's spirited but horrible attempts at singing. He has a tune Douglas was singing stuck in his head, but every time he tries to sing it, it sounds completely different, and Douglas initially mistakes the "ANH ANH ANH" noises he uses to try to render the melody for his impression of the noises Douglas himself made when Martin shut his hand in the cabin door.
49	** With nothing to do while [[Theatre/WaitingForGodot waiting for charter passenger Mr. Goddard]] and the rain falling in torrents outside, Martin suggests they run through the Standard Operating Procedure for evacuation in the event of smoke or fire in the cabin. Douglas and Carolyn split their sides laughing when Martin gets to the instruction "Captain ''dons cap'', enters cabin to assist passengers."
50	--->'''Douglas:''' Oh yeah! You ''have'' to don your cap before dealing with a ''fire!''\
51	'''Carolyn:''' Otherwise, how will the fire know who the captain is?!\
52	'''Martin:''' ''[put upon]'' It's ''for the passengers!''\
53	'''Douglas:''' [[Literature/{{Casabianca}} "The boy stood on the burning deck whence all but he had fled..."]]\
54	'''Carolyn:''' "His heart was in his mouth, but lo, his cap was on his head!"
55	** Martin goes off to the flight deck to sulk, and Douglas follows him to apologise. Martin anguishes over the fact that he could write "Captain" on his forehead in lipstick and people would still mistake Douglas for the captain, which does at least thaw tensions between them:
56	--->'''Martin:''' First Officer leaves through nearest exit. Captain writes 'Captain' on forehead with lipstick, dons cap, enters cabin.\
57	'''Douglas:''' In the unlikely event of Captain non-recognition, Captain doffs cap, gestures to lipstick inscription.
58	* "Gdansk":
59	** The cold open lets you know what MJN is in for when Carolyn recites the list of conditions for their passengers, an entire orchestra of [[ThePrimaDonna Prima Donnas]].
60	--->'''Martin:''' ''[opening door to MJN office]'' Hello, Carolyn!\
61	'''Carolyn:''' Listen to this! This chamber orchestra we're picking up - listen to what their conductor's put under "Any Special Requirements?". ''[reading]'' "The first violins will not sit together. The second violins will not sit apart. The harpist will ignore you unless your aura is orange; there is nothing you can do to make your aura ''more'' orange. The tubist must on no account be given alcohol. The conductor must at all times be given alcohol. He will also require the toilet to himself for an hour before landing. And most importantly, the bassoonist, Madam Szyszko-Bohusz, will be working under the presumption that you are trying to kill her unless proved otherwise, so avoid approaching her with blunt instruments, sharp knives, or hot liquids." Terrific. How am I supposed to serve her dinner!?\
62	'''Douglas:''' ''Carefully.''
63	** Martin's bad luck with bets through the episode, and his turning of logic into pretzels when up against Douglas.
64	** Meanwhile, Arthur is immediately forbidden by Carolyn from taking part in bets, and we get a hint as to just how bad Arthur is at bets.
65	--->'''Arthur:''' Aw, but mum-!\
66	'''Carolyn:''' Don't you "aw, but mum" me! Who owns your car?\
67	'''Arthur:''' ... Douglas does.\
68	'''Carolyn:''' Well then.\
69	'''Arthur:''' But he still lets me drive it.\
70	'''Douglas:''' And at a very competitive hourly rate.
71	** Carolyn's episode long battle with the severely paranoid bassoonist.
72	** The Passenger Derby. Wherein they keep the passengers in their seats until [[PottyEmergency they desperately need the loo]], then take bets who will reach the loo first before switching off the seat belt sign. Arthur provides running commentary.
73	** Martin almost sort-of winning a bet against Douglas, in a way only Martin can manage, after betting three months of his salary... which, as it turns out, thanks to Martin's awful haggling skillz... is ''nothing''.
74	* "Helsinki":
75	** Carolyn, suspecting (rightly) that Douglas has his own ulterior motive for wanting to go to Helsinki, and Douglas taking offense. After all, at any given time he has at least ''seven'' ulterior motives.
76	** As a birthday present for Carolyn, after the events of the rest of the episode, Douglas shows her the Northern Lights. Martin is understandably dubious about how he could've timed that, but Douglas points out that if ''anyone'' could, it'd be him.
77	** At the end of the episode, having dealt with Carolyn's awful sister, and her obnoxious grandson, and stranded them in Helsinki, the crew realise they've left Carolyn's brother in-law onboard, and have to explain to him what's just happened. He thanks them, revealing that, contrary to what they'd heard, he's not deaf after all.
78	* "Ipswich":
79	** In the cold open, the discussion on "Amigo Dogs" (Arthur was watching a documentary).
80	--->'''Martin:''' Amigo dogs?\
81	'''Douglas:''' Surely you've heard of amigo dogs, Arthur? Spanish breed. Very friendly. [[Film/ThreeAmigos Often found in threes.]]
82	** Following from this, Arthur inadvertently reveals that Carolyn has been nicking the Camembert from the cheese tray before every flight, much to Douglas and Martin's outrage. Then Arthur realises he probably shouldn't have said that. Upon Carolyn's arrival immediately after, we get this exchange:
83	-->'''Douglas:''' Carolyn, we have a complaint!\
84	'''Carolyn:''' Oh, dear me. Tell you what, why don't you write it down, put it in an envelope, [[BaitAndSwitchComment tear it in half, throw it away, and shut your face?]]
85	** Douglas is not overly in awe of his captain. He roleplays situations where he ''is'' for every drop of sarcasm he can.
86	*** Douglas and Martin's sniping at one another through the symposium, while talking about the hypothetical "Dougal" and "Marvin". Despite the fact it's clear they're the ''only'' pilots at MJN Air.
87	---->'''Martin:''' Dougal always thinks he's right.\
88	'''Douglas:''' Has it occurred to you that he ''is?''\
89	'''Martin:''' It's certainly occurred to Dougal.
90	*** The five-step process of proposing a solution to a problem the captain might not have noticed: get the captain's attention (done in informal cockpits by saying "Hey, Chief!"), point out the problem but soften the blow with "I might be wrong, but I think...", indicate how it makes you feel, propose a solution beginning with the words "One thing we could do is...", and obtain buy-in to the idea with "How does that sound to you?" When session moderator Peter asks Douglas to try it, he completely demolishes the entire approach:
91	---->'''Douglas:''' Hey, Chief. I might be wrong, but I think we're ''flying into a mountain''. This makes me feel... ''scared of the mountain!'' One thing we ''could'' do is pull up and fly ''over'' the mountain. How does that sound to SPHLOOMM!\
92	'''Peter:''' ... yes, of course, in- in that situation, you might need to react a little more instinctively.\
93	'''Douglas:''' Oh, do you think so?
94	*** The five-step process re-appears when Arthur, true to form, completely fails the tests, but Douglas finds a way to save MJN:
95	---->'''Douglas''': ''[clears throat]'' Hey, Chief.\
96	'''Carolyn''': What?\
97	'''Douglas''': I might be wrong ... ''[laughs]'' Sorry, I really must learn to say that with a straight face. I might be wrong, but I think Arthur's about to lose us all our jobs.\
98	'''Carolyn''': This is not--\
99	'''Douglas''': Hang on, I'm only on step two. This makes me feel... unemployed. And also a little surprised, given that I've heard quite a lot recently that the number of passengers at which it becomes compulsory to carry a flight attendant is nineteen. And I just wonder how often that situation's going to occur in our aircraft... with its ''sixteen seats''.\
100	'''Carolyn''': Ah.\
101	'''Douglas''': And: How does that sound to you?
102	* "Johannesburg":
103	** TheTeaser features Arthur's DelusionsOfEloquence and Carolyn's ''utterly'' deadpan translation thereof:
104	--->''[bing bong!]''\
105	'''Arthur:''' Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, our onboard transit process today has now reached its ultimate termination.\
106	'''Carolyn:''' ... he means we've landed.\
107	'''Arthur:''' Yes. So, as yourselves prepare for disemboarding, if I could kindly ask you to [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment kindly]] ensure you retain all your personal items about your person throughout the duration of the disembarcation.\
108	'''Carolyn:''' ... he means take your stuff with you.\
109	'''Arthur:''' In concluding, it's been a privilege for ourselves to conduct yourselves through the in-flight experience today, and I do hope you'll re-favour ourselves with the esteem of your forth-looking custom going forward.\
110	'''Carolyn:''' ... no idea.[[note]] "Thank you for flying with us today, and we hope you'll fly with us again."[[/note]]
111	** As he has to work on his daughter's birthday, Douglas ropes Martin into a Berlin Airlift-style boiled sweet drop over the party, complete with waggling the aircraft's wings à la [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gail_Halvorsen Gail Halvorsen]]. Unfortunately, things don't go as planned, as Carolyn notes when she gives him a bollocking back at Fitton:
112	--->'''Douglas:''' It occurred to me that if we filled the air brake cavity with boiled sweets and then opened it just as we were flying over-\
113	'''Carolyn:''' You could strafe your daughter's birthday party.\
114	'''Douglas:''' No, not ''strafe!'' We weren't going anything like fast enough! We did check!\
115	'''Martin:''' I did the calculations.\
116	'''Douglas:''' And we were quite sure the sweets would flutter gently down to the excited children beneath. And so they would have done - if... it hadn't been rather a hot day, and the sweets in the metal compartment hadn't melted a little. And then, up in the cold air, solidified again into a... er...\
117	'''Carolyn:''' A sugar '''brick.'''\
118	'''Douglas:''' ''[guiltily]'' Yes.\
119	'''Carolyn:''' Which you dropped on your ex-wife's house.\
120	'''Douglas:''' Ye-e-es... but we were very lucky really. We could have hit her conservatory, or her BMW.\
121	'''Carolyn:''' Or ''a child!''\
122	'''Douglas:''' Now, don't exaggerate! All the children had run for safety long before it landed!\
123	'''Carolyn:''' That is not as re-assuring a sentence as you seem to think.\
124	'''Douglas:''' I'm just saying we couldn't have hit a child. But I admit we could have hit a car.\
125	'''Carolyn:''' But you ''didn't'' hit a car, did you? You hit a ''carp.''\
126	'''Douglas:''' ''[embarrassed]'' Yes.\
127	'''Carolyn:''' Do you have any idea how much a koi carp costs!?\
128	'''Douglas:''' I do ''now'', yes.
129	** The incident with the koi carp sets up a BrickJoke when Douglas decides that one way to save money on the flight to Johannesburg in order to come under the maximum cost Carolyn has set for him is to cook dinner for him and Martin at home and then bring it with him. Martin is impressed by Douglas' culinary skills, at least until he learns that the main course is... koi carp.
130	--->'''Douglas:''' When ''I'' pay a thousand pounds for a fish, I don't just throw it in the bin.
131	** Learning Douglas can cook, Martin asks if there's anything he can't do.
132	--->'''Martin:''' ''(after Douglas makes no response)'' Douglas?\
133	'''Douglas:''' Sorry, I was just thinking. There are things I ''haven't'' tried yet. It's ''possible'' I might not be good at them. Theoretically.
134	** Carolyn taking all the pleasure she can out of watching Douglas failing his bet with her. She even brings a folding chair just to appreciate it more.
135	--->'''Douglas:''' You're enjoying this, aren't you?\
136	'''Carolyn:''' I honestly can't remember when I've enjoyed a trip more.
137	** The BrickJoke at the end of the episode, when Martin speed-runs the walk around, forgetting that Arthur has left a bottle of water on the cooling engines at Douglas's suggestion, so when the jet turns on... a bottle of water gets propelled ''very'' fast through a BMW's window.
138	* "Limerick":
139	** As this episode opens, MJN are on the return leg of a courier job from Hong Kong to Limerick. The long flight is apparently causing SanitySlippage in Douglas - and Martin as well...[[note]] Douglas' "proposition" becomes even funnier when we learn that the only other people on the flight are Carolyn and Arthur.[[/note]]
140	--->''[bing bong!]''\
141	'''Douglas:''' Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We're now about halfway through our flight from Hong Kong to Limerick, and I just thought I'd let you know that I... am... '''bored.''' Bored, bored, bored, bored... ''bored''. We are, unbelievably, ''still'' flying over Russia, which continues to be ''stupidly'' big. ''Really'' enormous. ''Far'' bigger than necessary. We've been in the air now for about a ''week'', and it doesn't look like we'll be landing until [[Theatre/{{Macbeth}} the last syllable of recorded time]]. So, if anyone on board knows any card tricks, ghost stories, or would like to have some ''sex'', please do make your way to the flight deck. Thank you.\
142	''[bing bong!]''\
143	'''Martin:''' ''[embarrassed]'' Err... ladies and gentlemen, I do- I do profoundly apologise for my first officer and his ''badly misjudged'' attempt at humour. I do hope you weren't distressed by his outburst, and let me just say, in his defence, that up here in the flight deck, it is... ''[his tone shifts from embarrassment to disgust]'' UN-BE-LIE-VABLY '''BORING!'''\
144	'''Douglas:''' ''Sooo'' boring.\
145	'''Martin:''' So very, very, very, ''very'' boring!\
146	'''Douglas, Martin:''' ''[in unison]'' '''Bo-o-o-ored!'''
147	** Douglas' evil cackling during the word game (people who aren't evil but have evil-sounding names):
148	--->Mark me well... Soon you will rue the day you dared to cross...''Creator/RussellCrowe''.
149	** Arthur is attempting to learn the phonetic alphabet so Martin and Douglas are quizzing him whenever he pops into the cockpit. His progress is about what you'd expect.
150	*** As he brings coffee into the cockpit:
151	---->'''Arthur:''' Coffee, chaps? Wow! Brilliant sunset!\
152	'''Martin, Douglas:''' ''[simultaneously, angrily]'' No it isn't!/No it's not![[note]] At this point, they have had said setting sun shining in their eyes for several hours.[[/note]]\
153	'''Arthur:''' Oh. Okay... rubbish sunset.\
154	'''Martin:''' Arthur? M.\
155	'''Arthur:''' What? Oh! Er... Mountain! Moccasin! Magma!\
156	'''Carolyn:''' What's this, now?\
157	'''Douglas:''' Arthur's trying to learn the phonetic alphabet. He favours the spot check method of revision. None of the above, Arthur, no.\
158	'''Arthur:''' Errr... Molecule? Mongoose! Mosquito!\
159	'''Martin:''' Shorter.\
160	'''Arthur:''' Mosque!\
161	'''Carolyn:''' It's a ''name''.\
162	'''Arthur:''' [=McNamara=]! Mitchinson! Moon!\
163	'''Douglas:''' A ''first'' name.\
164	'''Arthur:''' Er, Martin... er, Maggie - Milly - Molly - Mandy - Matthew - Michael-\
165	'''Carolyn:''' Nearly! Shorter!\
166	'''Arthur:''' Mickey! Mick! Mih! Muh![[note]] That is, phonetic pronunciations of "Mi" and "M".[[/note]]\
167	'''Martin:''' ... ''no'', Arthur, the phonetic alphabet version of the letter M is ''not'' "Muh". It's ''Mike!''\
168	'''Arthur:''' Aagh!... I was close, then!\
169	'''Martin:''' In comparison to "Molecule" or "Literature/MillyMollyMandy", yes!
170	*** Later, as he attempts to forge ahead at two games he is playing with the pilots to pass the time, writing a limerick about Vyshny Volochyok and Twenty Questions about their cargo:[[note]] A "sample" from a stud horse in Hong Kong for a horse breeder in Limerick.[[/note]]
171	---->'''Arthur:''' Er, chaps, two quick things-\
172	'''Douglas:''' J.\
173	'''Arthur:''' What? Oh! Er - Justin! Jeffrey! Jilly! Jenny! Georgina!\
174	'''Martin:''' It's one half of a famous pair of lovers?\
175	'''Arthur:''' June!\
176	'''Douglas:''' ... if you can imagine such a thing, a pair of lovers even more famous than Series/TerryAndJune.\
177	'''Martin:''' ''Theatre/{{Romeo and\|Juliet}}''...\
178	'''Arthur:''' Jomeo. Julia! ''Juliet!''\
179	'''Martin, Douglas:''' YES!\
180	'''Arthur:''' YES! I got that quite quickly, didn't I?\
181	'''Douglas:''' ... ''quite'' quickly.
182	*** Later still...
183	---->'''Martin:''' Arthur! F!\
184	'''Arthur:''' Ooh! Fox!\
185	'''Douglas:''' Nearly!\
186	'''Arthur:''' Er... Foxes!\
187	'''Martin:''' Fox-something! Fox-what?\
188	'''Arthur:''' Fox-what. Foxhat. Foxhead! Foxclock! Foxface! Foxbox!\
189	'''Martin:''' No, not Foxbox! It's a type of dance!\
190	'''Arthur:''' ''Tango!''\
191	'''Martin:''' No! The phonetic alphabet for F is ''not'' "Tango"![[note]] Which is, incidentally, the phonetic alphabet for T.[[/note]]\
192	'''Douglas:''' ''Foxtrot''.\
193	'''Arthur:''' Ohhh. I nearly said that. I got the "fox" bit!\
194	'''Martin:''' ''[sarcastically]'' Well done!
195	*** And finally...
196	---->'''Carolyn:''' But, Arthur... B!\
197	'''Arthur:''' Oh! Big! Bag! Bog! Bob! Bush! Ball! Bag! Bug! [[BrokenRecord Bag - Bag - Bag-]]\
198	'''Carolyn:''' It is '''not''' "Bag"! Two syllables.\
199	'''Arthur:''' Balloon! Baboon! Bassoon! Bubble! Babble! Bag- Bagbag! ''Baghdad!''\
200	'''Martin:''' No! It's something you say at the end of a play.\
201	'''Arthur:''' Bye-bye!\
202	'''Carolyn:''' No! What you say to the actors!\
203	'''Arthur:''' ''Booo!''\
204	'''Douglas:''' No! Like "Encore"!\
205	'''Arthur:''' ''Boncore!''\
206	'''Martin:''' ''[his patience running out]'' '''Bravo!'''\
207	'''Arthur:''' Ohhh! Yes, I ''knew'' that!\
208	'''Douglas:''' ... you really, ''really'' didn't.\
209	'''Arthur:''' Another!\
210	'''Carolyn:''' No!\
211	'''Arthur:''' Go on, please, just one more! One last one!\
212	'''Douglas:''' All right, er... G.\
213	'''Arthur:''' Golf.\
214	''[Carolyn, Douglas, and Martin are momentarily speechless]''\
215	'''Douglas:''' ... yes, that's right!\
216	'''Arthur:''' Well, obviously I know ''some'' of them...
217	** In playing "Twenty Questions" about the package, having finally determined where it's from (a horse), Arthur asks if it was made ''by'' a horse, and Carolyn, knowing her son, realises he's probably thinking it's the product of a horse Frankenstein. He is.
218	* In the ChristmasEpisode, "Molokai", Douglas discovering that his bottle of extremely expensive wine (which he's spent most of the episode trying to get his hands on by manipulating the SecretSanta) has been "mulled" by Arthur. (Lacking the proper equipment, Arthur has "mulled" it by adding orange tic-tacs and putting it in the microwave.)
219	** The episode proper begins with Carolyn 'explaining' that the wall chart was being deceptive on the subject of Christmas day. Douglas points out this is a pretty impressive accomplishment given it was written down on the chart ''by the publishers''.
220	** Carolyn's deadpan to reaction to Martin and Douglas re-enacting Christmas for Arthur's sake:
221	--->'''Carolyn:''' What fresh Hell is this.
222	** The customer of the week stumbling upon Arthur, who for reasons has been hidden in the supply cupboard all flight.
223	* "Newcastle":
224	** To start with, Benedict Cumberbatch was absent, so Martin is played by TheOtherDarrin. And naturally, the show handles this with [[BlatantLies supreme subtlety]].
225	--->'''Arthur:''' Hi, Skip! You're looking very well. [...] Don't you think, Douglas?\
226	'''Douglas:''' Not especially. I think he looks ''exactly'' the same as always.
227	** Carolyn announces their victims of the week are pilots from Caledonian Airlines, and she's in a good mood because it means she doesn't have to hold back her opinions.
228	--->'''Douglas:''' Do you always hold back with the customers?\
229	'''Carolyn:''' Of course I do!\
230	'''Douglas:''' Good ''lord.''
231	** Meeting a pilot from Air Caledonia, she manages to correctly identify GERTI at first glance. Douglas is impressed.
232	--->'''Douglas:''' Well done. Most people would've had to stop and think before saying "[[TheAllegedCar aeroplane]]".
233	** In the same conversation, Douglas points out GERTI next to a proper jet, calling it (GERTI) a "rather grim ''memento mori''" for the plane (latin for "remember you will die").
234	** Arthur tries to shoo Carolyn off the plane because Martin wants to talk to Herc, and since it's Arthur... he nearly suggests Carolyn's throwing off the plane's weight capacity.
235	--->'''Carolyn:''' Arthur, if you are about to suggest my weight is going to make us too heavy to take off, ''very bad things'' will happen to you.
236	** Martin trying, and utterly failing, to talk to the head pilot of Air Caledonia.
237	--->'''Linda:''' Oh. I thought it was because I was a woman.\
238	'''Douglas:''' And he's ''atrocious'' at talking to women, so you represent something of the perfect storm.
239	** Thanks to circumstances involving Martin trying to butter up Herc and Arthur's BadLiar tendencies, the plane has to stop over at Birmingham International. Then Martin goes and picks a fight with the technician, who proceeds to make his life a living hell after he brings up [[BotheringByTheBook The Book]]...
240	** When it looks like things have wrapped up, Martin chews the technician out for mocking the book, only for him to point out he ''hasn't'' signed off the log book.
241	** Carolyn makes her opinions on opera very clear:
242	--->'''Carolyn:''' If I want a story, I'll go to a play. If I want to hear music, I go to a concert.\
243	'''Arthur:''' Do you, mom? When?\
244	'''Carolyn:''' Shut up, Arthur.
245	** Pictionary goes wrong even without Arthur's involvement, as Caryolyn speaking ill of opera sets both Herc and Douglas off singing "The Toreador Song" to prove her wrong.
246	-->'''Carolyn:''' Arthur, you were right. The answer was wrong; Hell is being trapped in a grounded aircraft with two middle-aged men singing Puccini at you.\
247	'''Herc and Douglas:''' IT'S NOT PUCCINI!\
248	'''Carolyn:''' I DON'T CARE!
249	* "Ottery St. Mary":
250	** The opening scene finds Douglas at his deadpan best.
251	*** At first, Arthur is the only target for Douglas' snark, until Martin contacts them on sat comm:
252	---->'''Arthur:''' ''[entering flight deck]'' Here we are, chaps- er, chap. Coffee for you, Douglas, and coffee for you... to maybe have a bit later on, Douglas.\
253	'''Douglas:''' Did you by any chance forget that Martin wasn't flying today, Arthur?\
254	'''Arthur:''' No, I didn't actually, it's just I only know the amounts to make coffee for two people.\
255	'''Douglas:''' You ''could'' just have made ''half'' what you usually make.\
256	'''Arthur:''' Well, I couldn't, because I'd only know what to make half of once I've made it, and once I've made it, I've made it.\
257	'''Douglas:''' Oh, well, fair enough then, I didn't realise you'd addressed the problem scientifically. ''[the sat comm beeps; Douglas answers it]'' Hello, Starbucks, Irish Sea.\
258	'''Martin:''' ''[over sat comm]'' Douglas, it's Martin.\
259	'''Douglas:''' Hello there, enjoying your day off?\
260	'''Martin:''' No. Douglas, how long 'til you land?\
261	'''Douglas:''' 'Bout half an hour, why?\
262	'''Martin:''' Great! Is Arthur there?\
263	'''Douglas:''' Well, not ''all'' there...\
264	'''Arthur:''' Hello Skip! ''[chuckles]'' This is weird, isn't it? 'Cos normally, when I'm here, listening to someone on sat comm, you're here too, listening to them, only now you're there, where they are, and I'm here, where you usually are... and where ''I'' usually am... and am ''now''... talking to you!\
265	'''Douglas:''' ''[{{Beat}}]'' You find Arthur in philosophical mood.\
266	'''Martin:''' Arthur, I need you to help me.\
267	'''Arthur:''' Brilliant, I love helping!\
268	'''Martin:''' Well... this is a ''big'' help, a ''very'' big help.\
269	'''Arthur:''' No-o-o problem Skip, I am a ''very'' big helper!\
270	'''Martin:''' Well, Arthur - erm, Douglas, are you still listening?\
271	'''Douglas:''' I don't have an enormous amount of choice, Martin.\
272	'''Martin:''' Can't you put your fingers in your ears?\
273	'''Douglas:''' Well, heaven knows I'm not ''generally'' a stickler for safety procedures, but I'm not certain that's a good idea whilst ''flying an aeroplane''.
274	*** So Martin admits the reason he is contacting GERTI on sat comm:
275	---->'''Martin:''' Fine. ''[sighs]'' Arthur, I'm at Fitton Hospital.\
276	'''Arthur:''' Oh no, are you all right?\
277	'''Martin:''' No! I've sprained my ankle.\
278	'''Douglas:''' Oh dear, how did you do that?\
279	'''Martin:''' I was... doesn't matter how.\
280	'''Douglas:''' ''[audibly smirking in anticipation]'' Mmmmartin...\
281	'''Martin:''' Look, it's a perfectly valid tool when teaching best safety practice to demonstrate the wrong way as ''well'' as the right way!\
282	'''Douglas:''' ''[amused disbelief]'' You twisted your ankle whilst teaching someone how ''not'' to twist their ankle.\
283	'''Martin:''' ''[sighs again]'' Anyway, Arthur, you know how though I'm mostly a pilot, I'm also a bit of a... man with a van?\
284	'''Arthur:''' Yeah?\
285	'''Martin:''' Well, today - right now, actually - I'm supposed to be picking up a piano in Fitton and delivering it to a pub in Devon.\
286	'''Arthur:''' Wouldn't have thought you could do that with a sprained ankle.\
287	'''Martin:''' ''[exasperated]'' '''No''', Arthur, I ''can't''. This is where the "you helping me" part comes in. My van is at the airfield, and the addresses ''and'' the spare van keys are in my pigeonhole.\
288	'''Douglas:''' Spare Van Keys, didn't we fly him to Amsterdam once?\
289	'''Martin:''' ''[impatiently]'' Douglas, shush! Arthur, when you land, do you think that you could... ''[hems uncertainly]'' C-c-could you pick them up, find my van, pick me up at the hospital, drive me to Fitton, load a piano, and then... drive me to Ottery St. Mary?\
290	'''Arthur:''' ''[{{Beat}}]'' Yeah, no problem. All right, 'bye!
291	*** Douglas understandably questions Martin's decision, and the two-person expedition suddenly grows to three:
292	---->'''Douglas:''' Really, Martin? ''Arthur?'' Is this wise?\
293	'''Arthur:''' Hey!\
294	'''Martin:''' I-I know, ''I know!'' But I- I don't have a choice!\
295	'''Arthur:''' Double hey! I can do it!\
296	'''Douglas:''' Would it be worse for you to cancel the job, or to rely on Arthur - '''''Arthur''''' - to pick up and drive a piano - a '''''piano''''' - two hundred miles in a van - a '''''van'''''?\
297	'''Arthur:''' Why shouldn't I?\
298	'''Douglas:''' Because, Arthur: you're a ''clot.''\
299	'''Arthur:''' I'm not a clot!... What's a clot?\
300	'''Douglas:''' Well, you know the way that you are and the things that you do?\
301	'''Arthur:''' Yeah?\
302	'''Douglas:''' Those are the ways of a clot.\
303	'''Martin:''' Douglas, you're forgetting I'll be there with him the whole time, supervising.\
304	'''Douglas:''' ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, then, what can ''possibly'' go wrong??\
305	'''Martin:''' Anyway, there's no-one else to ask!\
306	'''Douglas:''' ''No-one?''\
307	'''Martin:''' No.\
308	'''Douglas:''' ''[does his best "Aren't you forgetting someone?" throat clearing]''\
309	'''Martin:''' ''[delighted]'' Really?? Would you?\
310	'''Douglas:''' Well, I've nothing else to do today, and it's always useful to have someone owe you a ''colossal'' favour.\
311	'''Martin:''' ''[much less delighted by that idea]'' Mm.\
312	'''Arthur:''' But... I can still come, right?\
313	'''Douglas:''' Of course!\
314	'''Martin:''' Er - ''really'', Douglas?\
315	'''Douglas:''' Oh, ''yes'', I see my role as very much a managerial one, with perhaps a little light driving. If you want actual piano-shoving done, we'll need a piano-shover.\
316	'''Arthur:''' Brilliant!
317	** So Martin, Douglas, and Arthur go to pick up the piano. Douglas, already in "wind up Martin however possible" mode, gets further ammunition when Martin reveals the name of his "man with a van" company. He then demonstrates a hitherto unrevealed talent:
318	--->'''Martin:''' Yes, this is it, The Laurels. ''[rings doorbell]'' Now let me do the talking, all right?\
319	'''Douglas:''' Of course!\
320	'''Arthur:''' Right-o!\
321	'''Piano owner:''' ''[opening door]'' Hello.\
322	'''Douglas:''' ''[before Martin can get a word in]'' Good morning, madam! I am ''Doug'', this is ''Mart'' and... ''Arth''. We are your man with a van, or, rather, men with a ven.\
323	'''Martin:''' ''[put upon]'' Hello, I-I'm sorry, ignore him. I'm Martin Crieff. We're from Icarus Removals.\
324	'''Piano owner:''' Oh, right, you're here for the piano.\
325	'''Douglas:''' ''[audibly smirking]'' "Icarus"??\
326	'''Martin:''' Yes, that's right.\
327	'''Douglas:''' [[IcarusAllusion You do know what happened to Icarus]], don't you?\
328	'''Piano owner:''' It's in here. Wipe your feet.\
329	'''Martin:''' Thank you very much. ''[sotto voce, irritated]'' Of ''course'' I do! ''[closing door]''\
330	'''Douglas:''' So you've deliberately [[IronicName named your company after the first bad pilot in history]]?\
331	'''Martin:''' ''Shut up!''\
332	'''Piano owner:''' Here it is.\
333	'''Douglas:''' A-ha! ''[plays a series of arpeggios on the piano]'' Oh, not bad... she'll be wasted in a pub.\
334	'''Arthur:''' ''[awed]'' Wow! Douglas, that's amazing!... OOH! Now do ''Film/ThoseMagnificentMenInTheirFlyingMachines''!\
335	'''Douglas:''' ''Absolutely'' not.\
336	'''Arthur:''' Oh, but it's my favourite!\
337	'''Douglas:''' Anyway, I don't know how it goes.\
338	'''Arthur:''' Yeah, you must do! Erm... ''[loudly, but completely tunelessly]'' "Up, down, flying around... looping the loop and defying the ground..."\
339	'''Douglas:''' ... if anything, I now know how it goes even less.
340	** [[CarRideGames "Yellow car!"]] The rules of "Yellow Car" are simple: whenever you see a yellow car driving in the opposite direction, say, "Yellow car!" Douglas correctly predicts that the game has no object and no ending. This does not stop Martin from almost involuntarily playing the game along with Arthur after they have to turn back to Fitton when Arthur forgets the delivery address for the piano they are transporting.
341	** Arthur asks why Ottery St. Mary is so named, and Douglas spins a nonsensical story of St. Mary, patron saint of Devon, being eaten alive by otters. He proceeds to get into an argument with first Arthur, then Martin about how many otters they can imagine, which then leads to a protracted discussion about how they might fit a hundred otters on GERTI.
342	--->'''Douglas:''' So, 32 in the seats, 16 in the overhead lockers, 16 under the seats, 6 in the galley...\
343	'''Martin:''' Fifteen in the hold?\
344	'''Douglas:''' Oh, twenty easily, and six or seven in the aisle.\
345	'''Martin:''' Call it seven.\
346	'''Douglas:''' That's what, 97, and three in the flight deck. A hundred!\
347	'''Arthur:''' Brilliant!\
348	'''Martin:''' ''[firmly]'' No. Not in the flight deck.\
349	'''Douglas:''' Hypothetically, though-\
350	'''Martin:''' I don't care how hypothetical it is, [[SeriousBusiness I’m not flying with a live otter in the flight deck!]]\
351	'''Douglas:''' I don't see why not. Historically, very few hijackings have been carried out by otters.\
352	'''Martin:''' Well, I'm sorry, but I don’t think the Civil Aviation Authority would be too keen on the idea!\
353	'''Douglas:''' To be quite honest with you, Captain, I don't think there's a whole lot about this plane full of unsupervised otters the CAA is going to ''love.''
354	** Upon returning to Fitton for the address of the pub to which they are delivering the piano and finding Carolyn on a date with the dashing Captain Herc, Douglas retrieves the piano from the van before launching into a rendition of "[[Music/DeanMartin That's Amore]]". (Carolyn is ''not'' amused.)
355	* "Paris": With Benedict Cumberbatch having made ''Series/{{Sherlock}}'' between series 2 and 3, John Finnemore assured him he would not include Sherlock Holmes references just for the sake of a joke. So, naturally, when a bottle of expensive whiskey goes missing and Martin plays detective, Arthur declares it reminds him of... Ms. Marple!
356	* "Qikiqtarjuaq":
357	** Arthur trying to help the customers, who were expecting facts about polar bears on their flight. As it turns out, the book wasn't exactly about just polar bears, leading to Arthur regaling the poor sods with what facts he can retain anyway (Carolyn admitting she set herself up for this). It results in the one he's talking to asking if there's not someone to supervise him.
358	** Martin's various attempts at a (''[[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent horrendous]]'') French accent, and especially his story involving [[NoodleImplements the egg-beater and the pogo-stick]].
359	** Douglas, after performing a bombing run over the polar bears of the title settlement (with Martin screaming in the background), is informed that he left the cabin address on.
360	--->"Oh dear. Now that, I admit, was a bit unprofessional."
361	** Martin reaching breaking point with the rude customer of the week and telling her that he is a professional. She admits this ''would'' normally be an inspiring moment, if it were not for the fact that Douglas had managed to hide a lemon on top of his hat.
362	* "Rotterdam":
363	** Douglas and Herc's "syrup-off" as they compete over the recording of MJN's welcome announcement.
364	--->'''Carolyn''': No, I don't like it either, Martin, but since we have a pilot who sounds like Stephen Fry's favourite uncle, we might as well use him.
365	** All of MJN's attempts to film their video, including Martin's own attempt at trying to be casual, and Arthur's... Arthurness.
366	** Douglas's snark on the video instructing people on how to operate a whistle.
367	--->'''Douglas:''' Frankly, anyone who needs the operation of a whistle explaining to them ''deserves'' to drown.
368	* From "St Petersburg":
369	** Douglas's pre-flight checks in St Petersburg are [[BlatantLies very thorough]].
370	--->'''Douglas:''' It's definitely our plane and the wings are on it. That'll do me.
371	** However, Douglas does find one little snag: They've got an Arthur stuck to the jet. See, Arthur was trying to get into the hold, and having difficulty with his gloves, so he took off [[TooDumbToLive one of his gloves]]...
372	** And moments after rescuing Arthur, it happens ''again''. (This time, he decided to put his keys in his mouth.)
373	** Arthur's repeated {{Verbal Backspace}}s after bringing Martin a beverage after their emergency landing.
374	--->'''Arthur:''' Here you are, Skip. Nice hot cup of coffee.\
375	'''Martin:''' Oh. ''[takes a sip]'' Augh! It's ''cold!''\
376	'''Arthur:''' Nice cup of coffee.\
377	'''Martin:''' It's ''horrible!''\
378	'''Arthur:''' Cup of coffee.\
379	'''Martin:''' I'm not even sure it ''is'' coffee.\
380	'''Arthur:''' Cup.
381	** Martin and Douglas availing themselves of the St. Petersburg airport's [[BlatantLies finest dining]].
382	--->'''Martin:''' How was your... soggy brown thing?\
383	'''Douglas:''' It lived up to its promise. How was your bowl of grey?
384	** Learning that Arthur is half-Australian on his father's side, Douglas explains that this explains so much about his relentless cheeriness.
385	--->'''Arthur:''' It's also why oi can speak with such a gud Oaustralian aksent!\
386	'''Douglas:''' ... first off, Arthur, accents ''aren't'' genetic, and second, you can't do one.
387	* "Timbuktu":
388	** The plan to get to Timbuktu hits a small snag in the form of a civil war. All eyes turn to Douglas, who is forced to admit even he cannot negotiate a cease-fire... especially not in time to get Mr. Birling there for rugby.
389	** Martin hits upon the idea of just lying to Mr. Birling, since he'll probably be so drunk it won't matter anyhow. Douglas initially seems aghast, before admitting it's an idea so devious he wishes he'd thought of it.
390	** Martin then spends the rest of the episode in a mad panic over lying to Mr. Birling.
391	** The summation of the episode, a completely bizarro Birling Day where the man gets soberer and soberer, Douglas doesn't manage to steal any whiskey, and Arthur completely ruins everything else with his knowledge and erudition.
392	* "Uskerty":
393	** Arthur getting a go on the tannoy of the disused Kilkenny airport:
394	--->'''Arthur:''' Ladies and gentlemen. Can I have your attention, please. This is the airport speaking. Listen to the airport. Flight 2020202 is now ready for boarding at gate... eight. It isn't late. It will not wait. If you want to be on that aeroplane... it's time to get on the aeroplane now. If you have young children... put them on the aeroplane. If you have any hand baggage... put it on the aeroplane. If you have any bombs... they're not allowed on the aeroplane. Please put them... in the bin. Okay, bye! Love... the airport.
395	** Arthur, utterly failing at "guy talk" with Douglas, wants to get better at teasing. His first attempt goes about as well as you'd expect:
396	---> "Honestly, Douglas, you silly great... man! Look at you, with your hair all... straight."
397	** Coaching from Douglas doesn't help either:
398	--->'''Arthur:''' I just don't know the sort of things people say!\
399	'''Douglas:''' Yes, you do, you've heard me tease Martin hundreds of times!\
400	'''Arthur:''' Oh, right, okay! Err... ''(attempts a calm, condescending tone)'' I notice Sir isn't terribly tall today.\
401	'''Douglas:''' ...Yes. That's better. Of course, I ''am'' quite tall...\
402	'''Arthur:''' Aw, damn! Well, it's just really difficult with you, there's nothing to make fun of.\
403	'''Douglas:''' ...\
404	'''Arthur:''' What?\
405	'''Douglas:''' I'm a 57 year old first officer with three ex-wives, and I'm drinking sodding pineapple juice.\
406	'''Arthur:''' I know. So?\
407	'''Douglas:''' ''(gives up)'' Nothing.
408	** The sheer ItMakesSenseInContext...[[BuffySpeak ness]] of the end:[[note]] The context: Carolyn insists on the stopover in Kilkenny so she can buy a gag gift for Herc (who was revealed to be terrified of sheep in "Ottery St. Mary") of a stuffed dead sheep from a woman in the nearby village of Uskerty, which she "recruits" Martin to help her carry back to the airport. However, after she manages to anger their taxi driver into throwing them out by the side of the road in the pouring rain, she makes Martin climb up a tree until he gets mobile reception... only to discover the tree has a colony of bees in it, one of which stings Martin's finger, forcing him to remove his father's signet ring before the swelling makes it impossible. The only vehicle they can get to pick them up is a goose farmer's truck, and there's only room in the passenger cabin for Carolyn, so Martin has to ride in the back with the geese... who smell seed cake in his pocket - cooked by the sheep seller and deemed so inedible by Carolyn that she makes Martin hide her piece in his pocket - and he gives it to them to get them to leave him alone, only for one of them to also swallow his father's signet ring. Carolyn, completely indifferent to and unapologetic for the parade of suffering she has put Martin through for the entire episode, then orders him onto the plane so that they can take off back to Fitton before dusk. All of which collides with the B-plot in which the overeager airport manager, Gerry, shows off the facilities - including a state-of-the-art metal detector - to a fascinated Arthur and a bored Douglas as they wait for Martin and Carolyn's return, while Douglas tells Arthur that Martin is the master of being teased, always going the extra mile to make it so easy for him.[[/note]]
409	--->'''Martin:''' ''[firmly]'' No, I'm sorry, Carolyn. I carried the sheep for you. I climbed the tree. I rode in the back of the truck. But now, I need to X-ray these geese.\
410	'''Douglas:''' ''[almost audibly grinning]'' Always the extra mile.
411	* "Vaduz" sees the return of "Yellow Car", but [[RoyalBrat King Maxmillian of Liechtenstein]] plays the "Liechtenstein version" of the game, which has very different rules... though apparently, the rules boil down to "King Maxmillian wins the game."
412	-->'''Maxmillian''': Green truck! That counts double!\
413	'''Arthur''': What? No, no, that's not how you play!\
414	'''Maxmillian''': It is in Liechtenstein.\
415	'''Arthur''': No, it's not!\
416	'''Maxmillian''': It is, because I'm the king of Liechtenstein, and I say it is. A hundred points to me!\
417	'''Arthur''': There aren't any points!\
418	'''Maxmillian''': There are in Liechtenstein!
419	* The entire B-plot of "Wokingham": Douglas and Carolyn try to outlast each other at using only monosyllabic words.
420	-->'''Carolyn:''' Tea?
421	-->'''Douglas:''' No, could I have-- ...the one that is ''not'' tea?
422	-->'''Carolyn:''' The one that is not tea. Which one is that?
423	-->'''Douglas:''' You know what it is.
424	-->'''Carolyn:''' Beer! Oh, dear Doug, no, you can't have beer.
425	-->'''Douglas:''' No, not beer...
426	-->'''Carolyn:''' Wine! No, no wine for you, my friend.
427	-->'''Douglas:''' I do not want wine. I want the hot drink made from a bean, which comes in types such as "Gold Blend."
428	-->'''Carolyn:''' I think I know which one you mean, but I will need you to ask for it by name, just to be sure.
429	-->'''Douglas:''' ''Fine''. I will have tea.
430	** At the Krief house, it initially seems like Douglas is just having problems saying Martin is his captain. He ''is'', but not for the reasons that might be imagined, as Martin realises when he demands Douglas and Carolyn say "sausages".
431	* "Xinzhou":
432	** At the beginning of the episode, Martin and Douglas determining whether the weather conditions are safe for takeoff by having a snowball fight.
433	** The "Fizz-Buzz" game reaching its climax when Arthur suggests a variant that consists entirely of saying "fizz" and "buzz". Then GERTI's APU warning makes a buzzing noise.
434	--->'''Arthur:''' Wow! GERTI's playing!
435	* "Yverdon-Les-Bains":
436	** Arthur suffering a horrifically bad allergic reaction to dragonfruit, not funny. Arthur not even ''noticing'' as it's happening, and his lips swell to such an extent he becomes utterly unintelligible? Mildly funny. But the capper is Douglas's typically deadpan response.
437	--->'''Douglas:''' Carolyn? Strawberry drill in the flight deck.
438	** Martin takes a stand and defends himself to the interviewers and head of Swiss Air. Then the company head admits he hadn't actually been listening to Martin's speech at all.
439	** Douglas gets really put out while Martin's away, since Herc is made acting captain despite being unqualified to fly a plane of GERTI's type, until he finally reaches breaking point.
440	--->'''Douglas:''' [''irately''] [...] and since I am the only one on board who is trained or qualified to fly her, I think you'll find that ''I'' am [[CallBack the supreme commander of]]-...\
441	'''Herc:''' You alright, ''commander''?\
442	'''Douglas:''' ''What have I become?''
443	* "Zurich":
444	** Arthur records the chimes for his new ice cream van. Consisting of Arthur singing the word "ice cream" over and over to the tune of Greensleeves.
445	** Douglas impersonates Gordon. Martin impersonates Douglas. Arthur impersonates himself, but with a [[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent horrendous Australian accent.]]
446	** At the beginning of Part 2, Part 1 is recapped by ''Arthur'', who is explaining to his girlfriend why he can't attend her horse dressage event.
447	--->'''Arthur:''' ...Yeah, no, no, good point, Tiffy. I've probably told you enough.

Context Funny / CabinPressure