Line #2 Funny/BordelloOfBlood


1	'''WARNING:''' Spoilers are unmarked.
2	----
3	* The Crypt Keeper's lunch with the mummy director, clearly hating every moment of it.
4	-->'''[[Creator/WilliamSadler Mummy]]:''' The last picture that I directed made a fortune, and I don't need to tell you what a piece of shit ''that'' was.
5	-->'''Crypt Keeper:''' ''[thinking]'' No, you don't. I ''know'' what a piece of shit it was!
6	** And this gem, as the mummy rambles on about a colleague.
7	--->'''Mummy:''' Now, of course, he'd give his left nut to work with me.
8	--->'''Crypt Keeper:''' ''[thinking]'' I'd give ''my'' left nut for this lunch to be over.
9	* Rafe mockingly refers to the police as "Series/TheATeam" as he tries to offer his services to Catherine.
10	* Rafe holds his office in a run-down adult movie theater.
11	* Catherine catches Rafe [[EatingTheEyeCandy ogling her legs]].
12	* Rafe is shown a photo of Caleb:
13	-->'''Rafe:''' Wow. Same parents?
14	* Rafe receives a phone call from his ex-wife.
15	-->'''Rafe:''' ''[on the phone]'' I don't care what your scumbag lawyer says! Business is tight! [...] Y'know, you're reminding me why being married to you drove me to the brink of homosexuality.
16	** As Catherine starts to leave in disgust after finding a vintage poster of an adult film, Rafe ends the call with "I gotta go. Fuck you."
17	* Rafe trying to dig up more info on the brothel at the bar.
18	-->''[Zeke's shot knocks a beer onto a girl]''
19	-->'''Rafe:''' Six pack in the side cleavage!
20	** After he causes Zeke to mess up a pool shot:
21	--->'''Zeke:''' Step outside.
22	--->'''Rafe:''' Sorry, Zeke, I'm just not in the mood for a blowjob.
23	* During Reverend Current's sermon, the teleprompter lags, and Current is forced to improvise for a few moments. After the sermon ends, he warns a technician that if the teleprompter does it again, he'll "fire his butt."
24	* Rafe comments to Catherine that Current's church looks like "Franchise/{{Superman}}'s dad's joint on Krypton."
25	* Rafe informs Catherine that Caleb went to a brothel.
26	-->'''Catherine:''' A whorehouse?
27	-->'''Rafe:''' A house inhabited by whores.
28	* As Jenkins ravenously eats a burger while talking about the brothel, Rafe remarks the meat is still mooing.
29	* Some actual clever dialogue in the film as Rafe tries to gain entry to the brothel:
30	-->'''Rafe:''' I'm here for the, um, Cunningham wake.[[note]]The cover for the whorehouse.[[/note]]
31	-->'''[=McCutcheon=]:''' I'm afraid the wake is closed tonight. Come back tomorrow.
32	-->'''Rafe:''' I, uh, really must pay my respects right now.
33	-->'''[=McCuctheon=]:''' Then I suggest you come back ''tomorrow''.
34	-->'''Rafe:''' Maybe you don't understand me. I'm feeling excruciatingly ''sad''.
35	-->'''[=McCuctheon=]:''' [[BlatantLies I'm so sorry.]]
36	-->'''Rafe:''' And if I don't grieve right now, maybe even grieve two or three times, I'm going to go out of my mind, okay?
37	-->'''[=McCuctheon=]:''' Then I suggest you go mourn somewhere in private... with a box of tissues! ''[slams the door in Rafe's face]''
38	* When Jenkins tears up Rafe's business card, Rafe notes it was his only one.
39	* Before Rafe is transported to the brothel:
40	-->'''Rafe:''' Ah, the girls! Let them eat a guy named "Cake."
41	** To which [=McCutcheon=] comments they like crumpets, too.
42	* As Rafe looks around the brothel and is rhetorically asked where he is:
43	-->'''Rafe:''' Larry Flynt's id?
44	* Lilith confronts Rafe and tries to seduce him.
45	-->'''Rafe:''' I'm not going to tell you those aren't the Breasts of the Century, but I'm just not digging the owner, so why don't you put those away; you're just not my type.
46	* Rafe covers his ass after it comes out he's not officially licensed as a private eye.
47	-->'''Rafe:''' I was there as an everyday horny citizen!
48	* When Rafe, accompanied by the police chief and Catherine, arrive at the mortuary where [=McCutcheon=] has covered up any sign that there's a brothel operating there:
49	-->'''Rafe:''' They're ''Film/{{Gaslight}}''-ing me, man!
50	** Rafe, with contemptuous amusement, refers to [=McCutcheon=] as "little [[Creator/LaurenceOlivier Olivier]]" as he continues lying to the police chief.
51	** Catherine stomps on Rafe's foot after he calls [=McCutcheon=] "a god-damn liar."
52	* Current has a prop called the "Laserlight of the Lord" which nearly hits him during a rehearsal.
53	* While Rafe and Catherine are looking for Caleb in the factory:
54	-->'''Rafe:''' I feel like I'm in a bad episode of ''Series/TalesFromTheCrypt''.
55	* After Rafe shoots Caleb who has been turned into a vampire:
56	-->'''Rafe:''' Sorry, Katherine, but that wasn't your brother anymore.
57	-->'''Caleb:''' ''[regains consciousness]'' Wrong! I'll always be your brother, sis!
58	-->'''Rafe:''' Katherine, run from your brother.
59	* As Catherine prepares to cross a gap:
60	-->'''Rafe:''' ''[starting back for the stairs]'' That is the craziest fuckin' thing I've ever... ''[sees Caleb]''
61	-->'''Caleb:''' Hi, dickhead.
62	-->'''Rafe:''' ''[heading back to the ledge]'' That is the second craziest fuckin' thing I've ever...
63	* Creator/WhoopiGoldberg's [[TheCameo cameo]] as Rafe's hospital roommate who complains about the noise made by Tammy [[LudicrousGibs exploding]] after being exposed to sunlight. She shoots Rafe a dirty look before going back to sleep.
64	* Rafe [[CarMeetsHouse crashes his car into the mortuary]], [[CarFu flattening [=McCutcheon=]]] [[SpecialEffectsFailure which is obviously a dummy]].
65	* Current [[LiteralAssKicking literally kicking Vincent in the ass]].
66	* In a glorious inversion of DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu, Lilith [[FlippingTheBird flips the bird]] at Rafe after he strikes her in the shoulder with an ax.
67	-->'''Lilith:''' Fuck you!
68	* After Lilith handcuffs him to the railing:
69	-->'''Rafe:''' I'd rather Crazy Glue my dick to the bullet train than fuck you!
70	* Rafe, still handcuffed to the railing, trying to BS his way out of trouble as Lilith, [[OneWingedAngel rapidly]] [[BodyHorror deteriorating]] from being hit with the [[ChekhovsGun Laserlight of the Lord]] in an attempt to cut out her heart, advances on him, threatening to kill him.

Context Funny / BordelloOfBlood