| 1 | [[WMG:[[center:WebVideo/CriticalRole[[Funny/CriticalRole 's funny moments]]\ |
| 2 | [-'''Campaign 1 (Vox Machina)''': [[Funny/CriticalRoleKraghammerAndVasselheim 1-23]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleBriarwoodArc 24-38]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleChromaConclave 39-83]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleTheAdventuresOfTaryonDarrington 84-99]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleVecnaArc 100-115]]\ |
| 3 | '''Campaign 2 (Mighty Nein)''': [[Funny/CriticalRoleComeTogether 1-25]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleTheBadGuys 26-47]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleTheBrightQueensFavor 48-69]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleSwordsAndAngels 70-91]] | '''92-112''' | [[Funny/CriticalRoleWeirdMagic 113-141]] \ |
| 4 | '''Campaign 3 (Bell's Hells)''': [[Funny/CriticalRoleShadesOfBlack 1-22]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleTheSandsAndTheBoughs 23-38]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleApproachingApogee 39-51]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleScattered 52-64]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleElementsOfChaos 65-80]] | [[Funny/CriticalRoleMarchOfTheRedMoon 81-]]\ |
| 5 | ''[[Funny/CriticalRoleOneShots Critical Role One-Shots]]''-]]]]] |
| 6 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 7 | |
| 8 | [[folder:Episode 92: Home Is Where the Heart Is]] |
| 9 | * Sam tries to make foods sweeter by spraying whipped cream on them, much to everyone's collective horror. Matt crosses the DespairEventHorizon. |
| 10 | ** Matt gets him back after the opening credits. |
| 11 | --->'''Matt:''' And welcome back. Happy to have you join us, Sam.\ |
| 12 | '''Sam:''' Just brushing my teeth again.\ |
| 13 | '''Matt:''' [[TakeThat Is that how you keep them so large?]] |
| 14 | * Fjord starts WaxingLyrical and quotes Grease when trying to see if Nott feels any different after Jester casts Dispel Magic on her. Matt pointedly makes a note of it. |
| 15 | * Shenanigans happen twofold when Yasha tries to hand Beau a drink. |
| 16 | ** Ashley mimes holding out a drink for a solid ten seconds until Taliesin passes it down the line to Marisha. He then abruptly realizes he just passed an ''imaginary'' drink down the line and buries his head in his hands in embarrassment. |
| 17 | ** Liam takes the "drink" from Taliesin and hands it to Marisha, but because Ashley never specified what ''exactly'' it was, he retcons it into a trumpet. This promptly gets "yes, and"-ed into the scene. |
| 18 | --->'''Liam:''' She didn't say, now it's trumpet.\ |
| 19 | '''Fjord/Travis:''' ''({{corpsing}})'' Where do you find all these instruments, Yasha?\ |
| 20 | '''Yasha/Ashley:''' I have learned that a trumpet helps with cottonmouth. |
| 21 | * Nott claims her favourite karaoke song is [[Music/NeilDiamond Sweet Caroline]]. In [[BlackSpeech Abyssal]]. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djHDSoeIKfc The ensuing demonstration cannot be described.]] |
| 22 | * At the bar, everyone orders whiskey save for Caduceus, who gets juice, and Jester, who gets milk. When they get their drinks they realize that the bartender chose to mix whiskey into the non-alcoholic drinks as well. Jester immediately tries to hand off her (very curdled) whiskey-milk off to Yasha, while Caduceus sprinkles some of the dried hallucinogenic fruit he got from Uk'otoa's temple over his drink "like nutmeg". It's unclear if it improves the flavor, but he does become more than a little loopy. |
| 23 | * Matt makes the terrible mistake of allowing the Nein to have a sample of the Gentleman's handwriting. Jester and Nott immediately start planning a [[Film/TheParentTrap1998 Parent Trap]] situation. |
| 24 | -->'''Taliesin:''' As a child of divorce, I'm so into this right now. |
| 25 | * Nott rolls a grand total of 4 on her animal handling check for riding her horse for the first time solo, which sends the cast into fits, as apparently Sam has had this exact issue, with his horse also completely ignoring him to chase Travis's at one point. |
| 26 | * The Nein travel to Kamordah from Zadash. On the way, they encounter their old friends, the bandits [[ChekhovsGag from episodes 8 and 23]], who DEFINITELY remember them (and have taken up hunting instead). Nott, Jester, and a polymorphed Caleb fuck with them, while Fjord, Beau and Yasha enjoy the show from a hill. |
| 27 | -->'''Head Bandit:''' (''realizing who he's accosting'') ... [[OhNoNotAgain FUCK.]] |
| 28 | ** Nott and Jester keep missing each other during their trips back and forth between the camps due to failed perception rolls. |
| 29 | * Matt roleplays as TJ, Beau's 2 year-old brother. Laura and Travis, who have a child around that age, are especially amused. |
| 30 | ** Matt describes TJ running down the stairs to greet Beau. Laura is very skeptical of a 2 year-old already being able to climb stairs, so Matt corrects it to ''tumbling'' down the stairs. |
| 31 | ** Beau gives TJ her jade necklace as a keepsake. TJ, in true toddler fashion, immediately begins to chew on it. |
| 32 | --->'''Beau:''' That's been in some ''dank'' places, little man, so... It'll really build up your immune system. |
| 33 | * Jester says a few words to Beau's father. She was worried that he would recognize her voice from her previous sendings, so she used an over-the-top Judy Garland voice. |
| 34 | * Nott stealing knickknacks to spite Thoreau is both this and [[OddFriendship oddly heartwarming.]] |
| 35 | [[/folder]] |
| 36 | |
| 37 | [[folder:Episode 93: Misery Loves Company]] |
| 38 | * Ashley is confused by the concept of chainsaw art. |
| 39 | -->'''Sam:''' Have you heard of penis art before?\ |
| 40 | '''Ashley:''' Absolutely!\ |
| 41 | '''Sam:''' It's kind of like that.\ |
| 42 | '''Ashley:''' Have you never been to my house? |
| 43 | ** Liam's favourite piece of penis art from Ashley's house is "The Medusa". |
| 44 | * Marisha's FreakOut when Fjord uses his Divine Sense on the Traveler. |
| 45 | * Somewhat meta funny; way back in Episode 3, the party talked about finding a hut with a witch in it on the island where they faced their first big fight. Matt threatened them, saying he can add a witch in a hut...and now here they are, in front of a hut with a powerful witch. |
| 46 | * The expressions on the faces of Matt and the other players when Laura pulled her clutch move with the Dust of Deliciousness are ''hilarious.'' There are two in particular to watch: |
| 47 | ** First is Matt, whose face goes on a journey as he a) [[OhCrap makes a bad roll]], b) [[HopeSpot remembers that Isharnai has magic resistance so he can roll her save again]], and then c) [[OhCrap remembers that the Dust of Deliciousness imposes Disadvantage on the roll, so he's stuck with only the one bad roll]]. He is frazzled enough that it carries over into his performance as Isharnai (which makes sense in-character, but still), not lifting the curse until Jester repeatedly thanks her for doing so, and forgetting that she has to open the door for Jester to leave. |
| 48 | ** Second is Taliesin, noted NightmareFetishist who knows a ''lot'' about mythological creatures like hags and had thus far been extremely nervous about how to deal with Isharnai. He was taken ''completely off-guard'' by Jester's gambit and can't seem to decide whether to be delighted or horrified, hyperventilating and periodically collapsing onto Ashley for support. |
| 49 | --->'''Taliesin''': ''(whispering to Ashley)'' What the ''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]'' just happened?!? |
| 50 | * As soon as the hag closes the door, Jester immediately turns to face the others, claps her hands twice, and [[DontAskJustRun starts hurrying everybody away from the hag as fast as possible]] while everyone else keeps trying to ask her what happened in there. |
| 51 | --> '''Jester''': We gotta go! Let's go, let's go! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis LET'S. GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. OF. HERE!!]] |
| 52 | [[/folder]] |
| 53 | |
| 54 | [[folder:Episode 94: With Great Power...]] |
| 55 | * Sam plugs Skillshare. Unfortunately they don't have a course in his best skill: being a corporate shill. Thus, he is forced to teach a class live on air; demonstrating the [[FunWithAcronyms M.A.T.T. system]]. |
| 56 | * After escaping the hag and finally getting a chance to rest, the party asks Jester just ''how'' she succeeded in getting the curse lifted... |
| 57 | -->'''Jester:''' Well... remember when I told you about my ability to affect people's memories?\ |
| 58 | [''everyone says they don't recall that actually happening'']\ |
| 59 | '''Caduceus:''' Wow, you're really good. |
| 60 | * As the party is discussing the possibility of kidnapping Beau's little brother to ensure her father doesn't make the same mistakes with him: |
| 61 | -->'''Yasha:''' We can't take a baby on the road with us, you know?\ |
| 62 | '''Fjord:''' We barely took care of Kiri.\ |
| 63 | '''Jester:''' [''offended''] Kiri turned out great, okay?\ |
| 64 | '''Fjord:''' [''[[DeadpanSnarker deadpan]]''] Kiri is walking around with a dagger [[EnfantTerrible telling people to go fuck themselves]]. |
| 65 | * The party beds down in the middle of a zombie infested swamp, protected by Caleb's dome, but still surrounded by fast zombies that are alerted by noise. Whenever a player gets too animated, the rest of the table shushes them and they all proceed to whisper again for several moments. Matt adds to this by pretending to be zombies pushing against the dome. Beau eventually goes to distract the zombies by throwing a ball bearing into the swamp water, but the second time she does this, Liam mimics a zombie catching the bearing in the eye. And then Matt mimics one instead catching it in the mouth. [[RuleOfThree And then]] Travis mimics that zombie exploding all over the dome. |
| 66 | * While discussing Beau's parents and Nott being away from her own son, Yasha decides to ask [[CallBack what Nott's mother's name is]] which sets the entire table laughing. Nott immediately answers that her mother's name is "Ashlee", and adds that her father's name is "T'ravys" when Fjord asks. |
| 67 | -->'''Ashley:''' Those are great names.\ |
| 68 | '''Travis:''' Strong, strong names! |
| 69 | * Beau attempts to lead the group through a guided meditation in the middle of the swamp. |
| 70 | -->'''Matt:''' This is the weirdest 28 Days Later reboot I've ever seen. |
| 71 | * Remembering the zombies, the group discuss whether the horses they hired survived the night. Most agree they probably didn't, until Caleb reminds them he used Seeming to make them look like Moorbounders, which should have scared predators away. Then Yasha points out that they might have made it back to town, [[ShaggyDogStory only to be killed by the villagers due to looking like dangerous beasts]]. Marisha desperately wants this to be canon. |
| 72 | * After they return to the Xhorhouse, Yasha decides to try and give Sprinkle a bath. It's like bathing an animal after an oil spill. In other words: if Yasha wasn't a barbarian, her hands would have been ''shredded.'' When she rolls a 3 on Animal Handling; Liam mimes Yasha accidentally ripping the weasel in half. |
| 73 | -->'''Travis:''' Mending! Mending! |
| 74 | ** [[PassThePopcorn Caduceus is in a different corner of the tub with a plate of sandwiches.]] |
| 75 | ** As Yasha passes Sprinkle back to Jester, he's in the process of mauling her hands. Jester takes him back and coos at him, before safely putting him back in her hood... at which point he bites into her ear and refuses to let go until Caduceus bribes him with sandwiches. |
| 76 | * Nott decides to hire a proper housekeeper. ''Everything'' about the process is hilarious. |
| 77 | ** Matt and Liam have an exchange that completely sum up the M9. |
| 78 | --->'''Matt:''' I dunno how much time you guys want to spend on this-\ |
| 79 | '''Liam:''' ''All of it''. |
| 80 | ** First she meets a couple of goblins who try to con her into hiring them because they need work. They are ''not'' happy when she decides against it. |
| 81 | ** She finally meets a young drow woman named Vendalla, who bluffs her into thinking that she makes much more than she does at her current job, so Nott offers her 40 gold a month for her services. |
| 82 | ** Nott takes Vendalla back to the Xhorhouse for a proper job interview, but she can't remember her name so she introduces her as [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast Vendetta.]] |
| 83 | ** Jester casts Zone Of Truth as part of the interview, and Vendalla and about half the Nein fail their saves, resulting in some unintended truth telling. (Such as finding out Caleb has no favourite color, and Beau dodging the question when Jester asks if anyone has a crush on her) |
| 84 | ** Caduceus, who made his save, decides to be a {{Troll}} just because he can. |
| 85 | ** They end up hiring her, but none of them can remember her name, not even Matt. They finally have to read the chat for it. |
| 86 | * When Jester notices that the sun is hurting Essek's eyes, she quickly makes him a parasol. The cast immediately starts giggling at the image. |
| 87 | -->'''Marisha/Beau:''' ''(cooing)'' He's so cute with his parasol...\ |
| 88 | '''Travis:''' There's dicks on each of the panels.\ |
| 89 | '''Laura:''' He's floating with his parasol?! [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxyVol2 HE'S MARY POPPINS, Y'ALL!]] |
| 90 | * Fjord tries to intimidate the forest into letting them through by shouting that he's going to raze the place if it doesn't let him through, scaring off a bunch of animals in the process. Feeling accomplished, he takes a confident step forward... and immediately gets eaten by a [[ManEatingPlant giant venus fly trap]]. |
| 91 | * As Matt describes the fauna of the jungle being explored, he mentions the background noise of 'animals making calls to each other in the distance': |
| 92 | -->'''Laura:''' Heehee. 'Making calls to each other in the distance'... [''picks up her phone''] He-LLLOOOOOO?\ |
| 93 | '''Matt:''' [''southern drawl''] I'm just real curious how your night's been over there?\ |
| 94 | '''Laura:''' Do you hear all these buuugs? |
| 95 | * Caleb recasts Find Familiar to turn Frumpkin into a Capuchin monkey. |
| 96 | -->'''Matt:''' Ok, so you stay up, summoning your monkey.\ |
| 97 | '''Liam:''' Is that what the kids are calling it now? Summoning the monkey?\ |
| 98 | '''Matt:''' Many a young wizard spent far too much time alone, summoning the monkey. |
| 99 | * The fact that Artagan ''accidentally'' became a god and ran with it because as more people prayed to him the more power he managed to achieve... but then became overwhelmed trying to actually answer everyone's prayers. This led to him creating [[FanNickname TravelerCon]] seemingly just so he can get all his followers in one place and create some doctrinal guidelines. |
| 100 | ** This makes the first campaign rather HilariousInHindsight. Vecna went through hell and back to become a god. Artagan did it ''by accident''! |
| 101 | * After the reveal of the Traveler's identity as the archfey [[ContinuityNod Artagan]], who is in over his head as the deity of a group of followers... |
| 102 | -->'''Taliesin:''' "Fuck off, Music/DavidBowie! Fuck off; no-one wants you here, David Bowie! [[Film/{{Labyrinth}} Go back to your home]], David Bowie!"\ |
| 103 | '''Laura:''' [[CallBack IT'S A CUUUUULT]]!!!\ |
| 104 | [...]\ |
| 105 | '''Travis:''' "I have no idea what I'm ''doing?!''"\ |
| 106 | '''Taliesin:''' Honestly, if I were ever to meet a god and they said that to me, I'd be like, [[BeingGodIsHard "Okay, and now I believe that you are."]] This got ''way'' out of hand. |
| 107 | [[/folder]] |
| 108 | |
| 109 | [[folder:Episode 95: Blessing In Disguise]] |
| 110 | * The saga of [=NordVPN=] continues! The dynamic duo of [=BlackWillow73=] and Cryptonic Override are unable to overcome their unseen opponent, so they get a little extra help from special guest star [[{{Film/Hackers}} Matthew Lillard]]. His costume includes a set of glasses with one eye covered, causing Matthew to misread his lines several times. Taliesin is losing his mind the entire time, and visibly struggling to breathe through his laughter. Matt ([[OneSteveLimit Lillard, not Mercer]]) plants a kiss on Taliesin's head as he departs the set. |
| 111 | * After repeatedly insisting over the course of their adventures that Traveler worship is not a cult, Jester visibly deflates at her own god declaring yes, it ''is'' secretly a cult and that's how he likes it. Her reaction is enough to corpse the rest of the cast. |
| 112 | ** Jester also mentions that the Traveler could kill them right now, that's how powerful he is. The Traveler confirms that yes, he could, and it would be very easy. He is a ''god'', after all. |
| 113 | ** As they're coming up with ways to tell Jester's story, Nott suggests pretending she's a peasant girl without hands who learned to paint through the Traveler's power. |
| 114 | --->'''The Traveler:''' ...[[TakeThat Are you saying an organized religious event would fake an individual's rise from a low place to a high one for the purpose of convincing the masses that there is a miracle?]] Such a thing has never been done.\ |
| 115 | '''Nott:''' Did I just invent that?\ |
| 116 | '''Marisha and Liam:''' [[RunningGag Canon]]. |
| 117 | *** Fjord's suggestion is to add to Jester's story. Like, for example, that [[Franchise/HarryPotter an evil wizard tried to kill her when she was a baby and the curse rebounded and it left a scar on her forehead]]. The Traveler immediately says that [[TakeThat nobody would buy into that]]. |
| 118 | * The party spends an inordinate amount of time investigating the innocuous red dirt piles that Matt keeps describing, that doesn't seem to lead to anything. They continually ask questions expecting something to be uncovered. |
| 119 | -->'''Travis:''' The Dirt Pile is the new [[CallBack Chair]]... |
| 120 | * During one of Liam's turns, Laura has a [[UnspokenPlanGuarantee plan]], but his actions negate what she was going to do. What ensues is an [[OverlyLongGag extended chain of "Nevermind" whispers]] between Laura, Sam, Travis, and Marisha until Marisha herself is cracking up. |
| 121 | * After the fight with the bugs, [[FanNickname Capeleb]] jumps on top of Jester, who is in the form of a giant mammoth. Jester picks that moment to polymorph back into her normal form. Matt has Laura roll a Dexterity saving throw, and she rolls a 1. Matt rules that Capeleb is not able to arrest his fall, and so he [[SquashedFlat lands on Jester.]] She takes 6 points of damage. |
| 122 | ** When Jester becomes said woolly mammoth: |
| 123 | --->'''Matt:''' Yasha, a shadow falls over you, and when you turn around, you're staring right at a mammoth asshole.\ |
| 124 | '''Taliesin:''' [[LiteralMinded That's a mean thing to say about your friend!]] |
| 125 | [[/folder]] |
| 126 | |
| 127 | [[folder:Episode 96: Family Shatters]] |
| 128 | * The very title of this episode, which [[InternalHomage references Episode 96 of the previous campaign]]: "Family Matters." |
| 129 | * Sam plugs Two Point Hospital by fantasising about being Doctor Love. |
| 130 | * The battle against the bull-like Gorgon inevitably results in a slew of cow puns. Liam probably has the best one though, after Fjord takes huge damage from an opportunity attack. |
| 131 | -->'''Liam:''' Should've steer-ed clear. |
| 132 | * As Jester is piecing the shattered statue of Corrin back together, she suggests using Sovereign Glue to fix the two larger cracks in the statue. BlackComedy ensues when Nott reminds the group that Sovereign Glue is the most powerful glue in existence, and -- not to be cheap with Caduceus's dead relative or anything -- they should probably try to find a cheaper alternative. |
| 133 | -->'''Taliesin:''' I am ''so'' glad I'm not listening to you right now. |
| 134 | * Jester tricks Eramis into believing it's 200 years since he was petrified, in an attempt to make the fact that it's really only been 10 years seem not that bad. It doesn't seem to work... |
| 135 | * Beau asks Caduceus about the fabled "Champion" from his family's myth and heritage, getting several facts wrong as though she had never heard about them before (Taliesin has repeated the story several times). Fjord (ie Travis) soundly mocks Beau (ie Marisha) for "forgetting something like that" when Travis was mocked heavily for only recently making the Stone/Family Stone connection himself. |
| 136 | * The party introduces themselves to the Clays after the battle, which quickly descends into a WhosOnFirst routine. |
| 137 | -->'''Cornelius:''' [[StealthInsult You've made some friends.]]\ |
| 138 | '''Caduceus:''' [[SurroundedByIdiots I'm aware. It's a lot.]] |
| 139 | * The party, the Clays, and Eramis talk about the task which the Raven Queen charged the Clays, Dusts, and Stones. This segues into a talk about burial arrangements and the importance of making them. Jester's response? |
| 140 | -->'''Jester:''' Oh! Can you guys bake me into a cupcake and eat me? |
| 141 | * Nott gives Jester the idea of messing with the bodies of the petrified people to prank them for when they are revived. Caduceus' response? |
| 142 | -->'''Caduceus:''' Don't do that. But if you do, do it to Colton. |
| 143 | * Beau talks to Jester, pointing out that they have LOADS of pranking opportunity with most of the Stones being petrified. They can do all sorts of things to their rooms. Dildos ''everywhere.'' Water pails over all of the doors. Jester is completely entranced. |
| 144 | * Caduceus sneaks up on his older sister Calliope as she sits at the water's edge. It's clear from the description that Matt is expecting a heartfelt conversation between the two. Instead, Caduceus quietly draws the Bone Flute, and [[ScareChord plays it loudly behind her, startling her so badly she falls into the water.]] She chases after him, and takes the flute away until he earns it back. He then promises to prank their brother Colton tomorrow. |
| 145 | -->'''Caduceus:''' I think I've gotten weirder.\ |
| 146 | '''Calliope:''' That's not even ''possible''. |
| 147 | ** Caduceus runs away immediately after she falls in, but stops at the mouth of the cave as he knows he can't outrun her. Calliope promptly rugby-tackles him to the ground. |
| 148 | ** The two of them do end up having a heartfelt conversation, ending with the realization that dropping the residuum crystals into the pond makes them germinate, for lack of a better term. The two of them are entranced... and then Calliope pushes Caduceus into the water. |
| 149 | *** After fishing out the crystals, Caduceus tries to continue the prank war by grabbing Calliope's wrist and dragging her into the pond with him. A bad Strength roll means that Calliope instead plants a foot onto his face and shoves him back under. |
| 150 | * After his talk with his sister, he bumps into (most of) the rest of the Nein as they prank the Stones. Caduceus calls them out on defiling the cloisters of the Wildmother. |
| 151 | -->'''Yasha:''' What's a cloister?\ |
| 152 | '''Jester:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext It's a place where you masturbate.]] |
| 153 | ** Caduceus doesn't argue with this description. |
| 154 | ** This segues into a talk about underwear. Caduceus and Yasha don't even know what underwear is, Beau and Nott wear it, and Fjord has ZERO desire to engage in this conversation. |
| 155 | --->'''Matt:''' I'm trying to pinpoint the exact moment I lost control of this.\ |
| 156 | '''Liam:''' Five years ago.\ |
| 157 | '''Matt:''' Yeah, true. True. |
| 158 | * Jester makes a statue of the Traveler in such a way as it looks like the silhouette of a penis. |
| 159 | -->'''Travis (to Laura):''' Your ''parents'' watch this show. |
| 160 | * Ashley starts to take a bite of her apple as Matt adjudicates a role for Liam. She starts to hear a crunch, and stops... but keeps the apple in her mouth. Marisha notices, and silently cracks up. |
| 161 | ** She finally decides to take a full bite, which isn't that noticeable, but her chewing attracts the attention of Taliesin, Liam, and Travis (with Marisha still trying not to audibly laugh). Taliesin is amused, Laura also silently cracks up, and Travis just shakes his head. A sheepish Ashley looks at Matt and mouths "Sorry." |
| 162 | * The following exchange after a slightly sleep-deprived Jester restores Guidma Stone. |
| 163 | -->'''Guidma:''' May the Mother keep you.\ |
| 164 | '''Jester:''' And may She always give [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext you plenty of milk.]] |
| 165 | ** Both Guidma and Jester look at their respective friends and give a confused look. |
| 166 | * After restoring Corrin, Cornelius and Constance make the rest of their children thank Caduceus for saving them. The elder children say it begrudgingly, but his younger sister Clarabelle is sincere. |
| 167 | * Jester contacts the Cobalt Soul Archivist in Uthodurn, and delivers her message in the form of a singing telegram. |
| 168 | ** Even better, the Archivist in question is no longer in Uthodurn. He wishes them good luck. |
| 169 | ** As a consequence, their arrival is a bit [[CallBack of a disaster.]] |
| 170 | * As he says goodbye to his siblings, Caduceus whispers to Calliope that she should use the whistle on Colton that night. Calliope agrees. |
| 171 | * Beau observes that Caduceus has quite the family: |
| 172 | -->'''Beau:''' You have a lot of siblings, dude.\ |
| 173 | '''Caduceus:''' Big family.\ |
| 174 | '''Beau:''' Your parents fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.\ |
| 175 | [''Laura cackles'']\ |
| 176 | '''Caduceus:''' [[TooMuchInformation It's true. Was a small house.]]\ |
| 177 | [''Laura screams'']\ |
| 178 | '''Beau:''' Wait... We're gonna unpack that later. |
| 179 | * Beau asks Nott if she's going to stay with them for a while. Nott says that she will, [[SelfDeprecation adding that only a fool would split off from the party.]] |
| 180 | * The Nein teleport to Nicodranas, [[ContinuityNod once more]] forgetting to message [[RunningGag Yussa in advance.]] |
| 181 | [[/folder]] |
| 182 | |
| 183 | [[folder:Episode 97: The Fancy and the Fooled]] |
| 184 | * As it is a live show, Sam is dressed in an outlandish costume. This time, he's a leprechaun. He performs his ad in an over the top Irish accent. Liam's response? |
| 185 | -->'''Liam:''' I still love you. It's going to be okay. |
| 186 | ** ''Travis'' is actually the odd one out, being dressed in a plain gray Critical Role hoodie while sitting next to his castmates decked out in glitter (or at least clothing reminiscent of their characters). It looks like he's the parent chaperoning a bunch of trick-or-treaters. |
| 187 | * Nott reveals that she has decided to turn back into Veth, partly because of visions during her meditations. Caduceus is surprised that she has actually been meditating. He thought "meditating" was [[UnusualEuphemism what she called drinking.]] |
| 188 | * Liam makes a Perception check to see if Caleb can spot a familiar figure aboard the Cerberus Assembly's ship, but he rolls a 1. Matt rules that he is distracted by a cute dog, whom Caleb dubs Henry. Nott immediately declares that Henry looks delicious. |
| 189 | ** Yasha says that she knows plenty of good recipes for dog. |
| 190 | ** When Caleb reluctantly supposes that at least eating dog is not as bad as eating babies, Yasha immediately chimes in with, [[ImAHumanitarian "Babies are very tender."]] She proceeds to not elaborate. |
| 191 | * As Matt complains about the undignified ship name ''Ball-Eater,'' Liam gets the crowd to shout the ship's name in unison. Matt shuts up. |
| 192 | ** Made funnier because Matt really has no one to blame but himself. He made the Mighty Nein name the ship on no notice in an episode where Jester, Nott and guest Twiggy were all trying to outdo each other for entertaining silliness. |
| 193 | * The Cerberus Assembly's ship is called ''The Wind of Aeons.'' Beau thinks it's highly pretentious, and Nott agrees. They decide that the ''Ball-Eater'' is a much classier name. It leaves a good taste in the mouth. "Bad aftertaste, though," Caleb says. There is much {{Corpsing}}. |
| 194 | ** Sam does... ''something'' with his mouth at this. The rest of the cast practically begs him to stop. |
| 195 | * Travis and Laura's reaction to Matt asking Laura for a history check on whether Jester recognizes Lord Thain. |
| 196 | -->'''Travis:''' (''singing'') Has he been to your Mom's house?\ |
| 197 | '''Laura:''' (''same melody'') Has he done a lot of fucking? |
| 198 | * Jester makes Fjord tell the Martinet and his comrades the name of their vessel. He is so ashamed of it that he always mumbles the second part. It takes him three tries (and two polite, confused inquiries) before he's able to say the name ''Ball-Eater.'' |
| 199 | -->'''Matt:''' The silence ''hangs'', and the wind (''makes whooshing noises'') blows through. |
| 200 | * Poor [[ButtMonkey Marius]]. The cast still can't say his name right and Fjord and Yasha have taken to asking him if he's killed anyone yet, shaming him for not doing so yet, and when they return, Marius greets them cheerfully. Fjord asks again if he's killed anyone. Marius reluctantly draws his sword and is directed to a "disappointed" Yasha, who laments that it's been 20 whole minutes since they last saw Marius and still no deaths. |
| 201 | ** Marius's outfit is also artfully ripped up by Marius. It is compared to buying distressed jeans. |
| 202 | * Caleb has Frumpkin stealth aboard the delegation's ship, and Liam reveals the Familiar's stats are for a ''baboon'', since there is not a stat block for small monkeys. |
| 203 | -->'''Laura:''' He's actually a baboon??? I thought he was like a teeny-\ |
| 204 | '''Liam:''' I just searched "5e monkey" on GOOGLE. That's what they taught me at Soltryce Academy. |
| 205 | * The Nein are shocked when Caleb reveals that Essek is working with the Assembly. |
| 206 | -->'''Jester:''' But he was ''walking!''\ |
| 207 | '''Caduceus:''' It's kind of a brilliant disguise, if you think about it. |
| 208 | * Fjord holds the bag with the clay for the spell to turn Nott back into Veth. He is visibly struggling with it. |
| 209 | -->'''Yasha:''' You look like you're shorter because of the weight.\ |
| 210 | '''Fjord:''' [[BlatantLies This? This is my "I don't care" walk.]] |
| 211 | * Beau asks Jester if she would be able to scry on someone she tattooed, and Jester intuits that she most likely would be able to, since she would have "intimate knowledge of their body." Yasha, perplexed, asks Jester for clarification: |
| 212 | -->'''Jester:''' I'm not saying I sleep with people when I tattoo them, I'm saying--\ |
| 213 | '''Yasha:''' But, like, you tattoo them and then you see everything.\ |
| 214 | '''Jester:''' No, I just would know-- Like, if I tattooed your bicep, Yasha.\ |
| 215 | '''Yasha:''' Yeah.\ |
| 216 | '''Jester:''' I would have intimate knowledge of your bicep.\ |
| 217 | '''Yasha:''' ''(giggles, flustered and impressed)'' That's a cool trick. ''(awkwardly)'' I'm going to keep carrying this clay. |
| 218 | * Jester has a conversation with her mother, where she reveals (among other things) that the Traveler is not a god. Marion is initially relieved, thinking that Jester has gotten over her imaginary friend, but then she and the Nein reveal that they have actually met him. |
| 219 | -->'''Marion (to the rest of the Nein):''' ''I thought I told you to keep her safe!'' |
| 220 | ** Fjord hurries to explain that Jester is safe, they're all very protective of her, and everything is fine. Beau...helps. |
| 221 | -->'''Fjord:''' We did, she is, I assure you, we've taken that very seriously. She's quite safe. |
| 222 | -->'''Beau:''' [[NotHelpingYourCase It's a little predatory though, let's be honest.]] |
| 223 | -->'''Fjord:''' ''No!'' |
| 224 | ** Marion is however relieved when Beau tells her that Jester is practically the god in their relationship. |
| 225 | --->'''Marion:''' That's my girl! |
| 226 | * Jester describes Artagan now that she knows what he looks like. Marion thinks for a moment and confirms that she's occasionally seen a man matching that description downstairs, but hurries to clarify she's never had him as a ''client.'' |
| 227 | -->'''Jester:''' THAT'S HIM! THAT IS HIM! |
| 228 | -->'''Marion:''' ...I don't know that this makes it ''less'' weird...? |
| 229 | * Yeza is very excited when he hears that Veth/Nott is back. He darts off with a spring in his step. |
| 230 | -->'''Jester:''' He's going to wash his junk! |
| 231 | * Marion lets the Nein use her bathtub to restore Veth. Her one condition is that they not damage it. Naturally, it gets destroyed as a result of the spell. |
| 232 | ** Marion specifically says that she'll give her blessing for Veth to fill a bathtub with clay (no context or explanation was given) because, after all, she is not one to kinkshame. |
| 233 | * While Nott is thanking everyone in the group for all that they've done for her: |
| 234 | -->'''Nott:''' Yasha, I'm like 60% sure you're not evil now.\ |
| 235 | '''Yasha:''' That should be a lower percentage. |
| 236 | * When Veth emerges from the clay, she asks if it worked... in a low, smooth voice. She then coughs, and her voice immediately switches back to normal. |
| 237 | -->'''Veth:''' I'm sorry, I had some clay in my throat. |
| 238 | * Liam has this to say after the spell is cast. |
| 239 | -->'''Liam:''' I've imagined this moment a hundred times, and in none of those times were you dressed like a leprechaun. |
| 240 | * As Veth and Yeza go off for some [[GladToBeAliveSex time to themselves]] Yasha calls after them, asking if she should get some dog to celebrate. |
| 241 | ** Later on, as the Nein go off running errands, Sam mimes some of the things happening back at the Chateau. It has to be seen to be believed. |
| 242 | * As the party has agreed to go to the party, they (one by one) allow Jester to pick out outfits for them. Caduceus tags along in a vain attempt to rein her in. |
| 243 | ** Marisha ''hungrily'' declares "I'm listening" as Laura describes the suit Jester ordered for Beau. |
| 244 | --->'''Matt:''' I'm gonna have to buy her this for Christmas now, you realize? |
| 245 | ** They topped off Fjord's outfit with the biggest pirate's hat that they could make. After they assure him that he doesn't need to wear the hat, he insists that he will wear it. The next challenge given him is to walk through a door with said hat, which is only accomplished after Jester suggest his head sideways. |
| 246 | --->'''Fjord:''' I wear it with fucking pride.\ |
| 247 | '''Caleb:''' Do us a favor and walk through that doorway. Can you make it through that doorway with that hat on?\ |
| 248 | '''Fjord:''' Oh shit! |
| 249 | * Beau, Fjord and Yasha go for fish and chips. Sex related fish puns fly, mostly between Beau and Yasha. Meanwhile, Fjord is mortified about being stuck in the middle of this. |
| 250 | -->'''Beau:''' Fjord, you have a favorite fish dish?\ |
| 251 | '''Fjord:''' Am I ''here''?! I just checked the fuck out, like--deep stare, ''deep'' stare. |
| 252 | ** It does not get better for him. Yasha manages to redirect the conversation to discussing their party clothes, Fjord seizes on the fact that she said she doesn't like wearing bright colors, and then immediately: |
| 253 | -->'''Beau:''' Well you like flowers. So, you like color. |
| 254 | -->'''Yasha:''' Yes, but...those are beautiful. |
| 255 | -->[long pause] |
| 256 | -->'''Beau:''' Well...so are you-- |
| 257 | -->'''Fjord/Travis:''' Oh, JESUS-- |
| 258 | * Lord Sharpe, the man who drove Jester out of Nicodranas, hits on Yasha, who is ''extremely'' uncomfortable. Beau and Caleb mime increasingly obscure and violent looking actions at her, and Yasha is confused. |
| 259 | -->'''Yasha:''' I'm sorry. My friends are over there, and [[IHaveToIronMyDog I think they are getting... smaller?]] I should go join them. |
| 260 | ** Jester shouts at Sharpe to leave Yasha alone when he refuses to take the hint, and immediately casts Charm Person on him when he tries to walk off. Sharpe then turns around and tries to make conversation with her again. |
| 261 | --->'''Sharpe:''' I feel like we got off on the wrong foot a long time ago.\ |
| 262 | '''Jester:''' We really did, and you know what you should do is just apologize to... everyone you've ever met. |
| 263 | ** Sharpe asks Jester if he can get her a drink. Jester sweetly tells him that she's okay, but that she could really use his help fetching her gloves, which she left [[CallBack on the balcony]]. Just like the first time, Jester watches him step out onto the balcony, then quickly slams the door and locks it behind him. |
| 264 | *** Veth runs to the door and tells Sharpe not to worry, as she can jimmy the lock. Which she does... with the ''Dagger of Denial'', magically sealing the lock ''forever.'' |
| 265 | *** It's worth noting that the audience caught onto what she was doing ''immediately'', and people are audibly giggling in the background during the entire leadup. |
| 266 | ** Yasha remains uncomfortable. |
| 267 | --->'''Sharpe:''' Could I get you anything?\ |
| 268 | '''Yasha:''' Uh... You could just go away. |
| 269 | ** Sharpe's situation remains a RunningGag throughout the rest of the party scene, as he's periodically heard slamming his fists against the door and asking random partygoers for help. By the end of the party he sounds like he has completely given up on life. |
| 270 | * This exchange at the party |
| 271 | -->'''Caduceus (to Beau):''' How would you like an hour of being your best self?\ |
| 272 | '''Veth:''' Sounds like meth to me. |
| 273 | ** Caduceus casts True Seeing and Tongues on Beau, allowing her to see through all illusions, find hidden doors, and understand all languages. [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Marisha plays it like Beau is]] ''[[MushroomSamba absolutely tripping balls.]]'' |
| 274 | --->'''Matt:''' He flicks it into your eyes, and as you open them there is a sea of strange, kinda purplish-blue color around you...\ |
| 275 | '''Beau:''' ([[FreakOut suddenly wigging out]])\ |
| 276 | '''Caduceus:''' I cast Calm Emotions. |
| 277 | ** Fjord's part-time security gig goes butt-shaped when the guy he's interrogating ''sneaks off'' thanks to having to handle Beau, which is when one of the actual guards catches sight of them. Their best idea to look less suspicious? ActingUnnatural via the ''whitest'' white people dance ever. |
| 278 | ** After the plan to message Essek and love-bomb him into guiltily revealing himself is shot, he winds up drugged, enchanted and manacled by the rest of the Nein, which leads to this exchange... |
| 279 | --->'''Travis:''' What happened to--...what happened to just ''messaging'' Essek and fuckin' prank calling him-- |
| 280 | --->'''Matt:''' (throwing his hands up, shouting) ''Welcome to the Mighty Nein, Travis!!'' |
| 281 | ** Later on, Caleb casts Message to talk to Beau, causing Beau to think Marion's voice suddenly shifted to Caleb's. Irritated, he then casts it to talk to Fjord, who starts to think Beau's "intoxication" is catching. |
| 282 | --->'''Fjord (to Beau):''' How did it start? Did you see things first or just hear voices? |
| 283 | *** Even better - Travis' face looks just like [[CallBack Grog when he first heard Craven Edge.]] |
| 284 | * When it takes longer for Fjord and Beau to return to the Balleater than expected, on account of Fjord not catching Caleb's message entirely, Jester casts a Sending to Fjord in order to tell them to hurry up. Naturally, once the pertinent part of the message is conveyed, [[RunningGag she sings a jingle to pad out the remainder of it to 25 words]]. |
| 285 | ** Needless to say, Fjord realizes just how much weirder it is to be on the receiving end of one of Jester's messages, and tells Beau that he fully expected Jester to ask if he was pooping, whilst still within the word count of the spell. |
| 286 | [[/folder]] |
| 287 | |
| 288 | [[folder:Episode 98: Dark Waters]] |
| 289 | * Ashley sings the D&D Beyond jingle... acapella, with no preparation, and no knowledge of the melody. |
| 290 | * When Fjord finally tosses his hat aside, Sam makes a stock cat yowl sound. Matt immediately follows this up by saying the hat [[BlackComedy killed Frumpkin again]]. |
| 291 | * Marion openly trolling Fjord by "offering" to commission him a new hat to replace the one he only just managed to get rid of. Jester keeps giving him vague, conflicting advice while he tries desperately to find a way to politely decline without offending her mother. |
| 292 | * The idea of Fjord and Jester having dinner together has Veth in full shipper mode. |
| 293 | * Everyone gets really fascinated by Widogast's Vault of Amber and how it works, especially when Caleb claims that if you were sealed in it, you would immediately die. |
| 294 | * Caduceus goes shopping for magic supplies and inquires about some interesting items around the shop. His face lights up when the shopkeeper introduces a mystery box that she cannot open. |
| 295 | ** How does he get her to part with everything for 900 gold? She likes his hair, so he reveals that it's actually coloring from the mold growing on his arms and places some of it on the counter. |
| 296 | * It is the morning of the Ball-Eater's departure. Veth and Yeza have a serious talk about their family's future. How does Veth end it? |
| 297 | -->'''Veth:''' We probably have like, ten minutes before I have to leave, so... take off your pants.\ |
| 298 | '''Yeza:''' Yes, ma'am! |
| 299 | * Yeza is fully supportive of his wife continuing to adventure with the Mighty Nein... once he realises how much money adventuring brings in. |
| 300 | * The first half of the episode ends with the Ball-Eater setting sail from Nicodranas. As soon as Matt calls for the break Travis reaches under the table and pulls out the "Idiot's Guide to Sailing" notebook, first seen in episode 37, and starts quickly flipping through the pages. |
| 301 | * Caduceus gives Beau the magical fan he purchased, which casts Gust of Wind. While the trial run of the fan is hilarious (they blast a seagull, Caduceus heals it, it squawks something rude at him), Beau asking if she looks cool with it leads to her trying to make a Captain Morgan pose while holding it, her staff, a throwing star and smoking a pipe while Jester draws her portrait. |
| 302 | -->'''Fjord:''' You are supposed to be an example to the crew in my absence!\ |
| 303 | '''Beau:''' This is a ''glowing'' example!\ |
| 304 | '''Caleb:''' [[LiteralMinded I cast Dancing Lights around Beauregard.]] |
| 305 | * Once Fjord reaches the crow’s nest on the Ball Eater during the climatic battle, Taliesin takes a moment to point out that Caduceus had made a pillow fort up there. |
| 306 | * Sam, naturally, makes with the BlackComedy after Fjord's death. |
| 307 | -->'''Veth:''' Beauregard, you just became captain! |
| 308 | * Travis begs the group not to leave his fate to ''[[ButtMonkey Marius]]''. |
| 309 | * The RunningGag throughout the episode of everyone teasing Liam/Caleb over naming his spells “Widogast’s” in the same manner as spells like Bigby’s Hand or Melf’s Acid Arrow, stemming from Sam’s numerous rants on the previous ''Talks Machina'' that the spell that restored Veth to her own body was named for Caleb rather than her. |
| 310 | ** Of particular note, is Liam pointing out the spells are using the Widogast name - long since revealed to not even be Caleb’s name. |
| 311 | --->'''Laura:''' Are you sure it's not "Widogast's Acid Arrow"?\ |
| 312 | '''Liam:''' No, it's ''another'' famous wizard. |
| 313 | [[/folder]] |
| 314 | |
| 315 | [[folder:Episode 99: High Stakes, High Seas]] |
| 316 | * Sam plugs The Griffon's Saddlebag Kickstarter project, complete with the real saddlebag that he was sent. Inside is a framed photo of Liam ("Always carry that with me"), a wad of bills (Sam's "pocket change" which Laura immediately outs as fake), a bottle of wine, and a song to commemorate the 5 year anniversary of the show. |
| 317 | * The fact that Laura didn't prepare Cure Wounds before going into a rough battle. |
| 318 | * When asked what time it is, Matt says it's "about 2:30 in the morning". This is unintentioanlly hilarous, as when giving the time Fjord was stabbed awake for why absolutely nobody noticed it, Matt stated that it was "like 2:30 in the morning". Meaning that the entire 2 plus hour battle and the 45 minutes that passed after... happened in the span of only a few moments. |
| 319 | * Jester casts Commune with the Traveler, and fills him in on what happened as part of asking her first question. They act like they are gossiping. |
| 320 | * The Nein discover an eye tattoo on the leader of the Deep Ones after his body transforms back to normal. Fjord is asked if he has one, and he jokes that his is on his taint. The cast goes with it... and then they realize that there will be fan art of it. |
| 321 | * Jester suggests putting a decoy in the captain's bed. She calls it a Fjord-dummy. |
| 322 | -->'''Fjord:''' Oh, like a decoy.\ |
| 323 | '''Caduceus:''' A Fjord, dummy.\ |
| 324 | '''Travis:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Fuck you.]] |
| 325 | * On the Cerberus Assembly ship, upon seeing the magically-enhanced meeting room, Beau makes a pun. |
| 326 | -->'''Beau:''' This is truly a deck of many things.\ |
| 327 | '''Sam:''' [[LamePunReaction (mimes throwing up)]]\ |
| 328 | '''Liam:''' A single SweatDrop just starts to go down Caleb. |
| 329 | * During the break the D&D Beyond spot starts to play but after a few seconds it pauses and rewinds back to the beginning. When it starts again the audio has been replaced with Ashley's a capella version from last week's ad spot. |
| 330 | * After Caleb and Beau return from meeting with the Martinet and Vess [=DeRogna=], Beau describes the two of them shooting glances at eachother the entire time. Jester immediately asks if they're boning. |
| 331 | -->'''Beau:''' I think he ''definitely'' hates her.\ |
| 332 | '''Fjord:''' So... yes.\ |
| 333 | '''Beau:''' Yeah, they might be hate-fucking. I mean... It's a good time. |
| 334 | * Days later, on the way to the Peace Talks, Jester gets the bright idea to try to scry on the Traveler. Let us be clear, she summons the power of her deity for the explicit purpose of ''spying on her deity''. Which Laura only realises after making the request. Both the Traveler's ''and'' Matt's reactions are "Seriously?" in pure vocal intonation, with the narration of setting up the ritual comes across as [[LetMeGetThisStraight trying to make her see how ridiculous it is]]. |
| 335 | -->'''The Traveler:''' ... Curious.\ |
| 336 | '''Jester:''' Oh shit... [[DidntThinkThisThrough I wasn't really thinking about that one]].\ |
| 337 | '''Matt/Traveler:''' No, you were not. (cuts the divine connection) |
| 338 | [[/folder]] |
| 339 | |
| 340 | [[folder:Episode 100: Hunted At Sea]] |
| 341 | * There are no sponsors, but [[AttentionWhore Sam]] will wither away if he doesn't say something at the top of the show, so he recites a poem. |
| 342 | * The following exchange: |
| 343 | -->'''Caleb:''' Captain, do you have any experience with this sort of thing?\ |
| 344 | '''Travis:''' That is a ''great'' fuckin' question! Has Fjord had any experience with dragon turtles? |
| 345 | * Laura’s first attack roll. |
| 346 | --> '''Laura''': I have too many dice to choose from right now, and I’m freaking out!\ |
| 347 | '''Travis''': It finally happened!\ |
| 348 | '''Matt''': Bailey problems. |
| 349 | * This exchange, after Fjord orders the cannons abandoned. |
| 350 | --> '''Veth:''' With all due respect, I will not leave my post!\ |
| 351 | '''Yasha:''' Let's go.\ |
| 352 | '''Veth:''' Okay. |
| 353 | * Jester successfully Polymorphs the Dragon Turtle into a regular sea turtle. As they book it out there, they eventually notice [[SuperPersistentPredator the sea turtle is still chasing them]]. It turns out it's actually ''faster'' in this form than its original one! [[CallBack Once again, polymorphing a monster into a turtle backfires on the Nein.]] |
| 354 | * As they're being chased by the aforementioned sea turtle, Matt reminds Travis that Fjord hasn't had good experiences with turtles, calling back to the incident in Episode 60. |
| 355 | * There are shenanigans as the Nein tries to deal with the polymorphed dragon turtle. First, Caduceus (who hates open water almost as much as Veth) has to go down into the water to try and spot the turtle. It works, but Caduceus is not happy. Next, Caleb and Jester jump down so they can spot the turtle. Liam rolls a 1 on his Dexterity save, so Matt rules that he trips as he jumps and stone-skips off of the water a few times. |
| 356 | * The night after the fight, Fjord prays to the Wildmother. He apologizes for not checking in before going on the water, "like a fuckin' noob," and has a request. |
| 357 | --> '''Fjord:''' Please watch over the [[FreudianSlip cast--crew!]] |
| 358 | * Fjord finds that the Revelry has an arrangement with a dragon turtle to protect Darktow. They are far from Darktow, so this turtle probably isn't that one. However, he gets an idea... |
| 359 | --> '''Fjord:''' Why don't we make a deal with this dragon turtle, lead it to Darktow, and [[ShoutOut let]] [[Film/Godzilla2014 them fight.]] |
| 360 | * The Nein arrive at Rumblecusp, and some of them go scouting. Marisha rolls a 1 for Beau's Perception check. |
| 361 | -->'''Marisha:''' Fuckin' titties.\ |
| 362 | '''Liam:''' That's the goal.\ |
| 363 | '''Matt:''' Even when Beau loses, she still wins. |
| 364 | * Jester casts Commune so she can talk to the Traveller. He is pulled away by another follower when it ends, and tries to pull a PrivacyByDistraction so he can leave unseen. |
| 365 | --> '''Jester:''' I'm not gonna fall for that, but you can poof away anyway. |
| 366 | * During the naval battle with the dragon turtle, Fjord relays his orders "through the proper chain of command"-- i.e., to Beau, who shouts to Veth, who tells Yasha. It's almost reminiscent of a game of Narrative Telephone. |
| 367 | -->'''[[TheCaptain Fjord]]''': ''(coolly)'' First mate, light 'em up.\ |
| 368 | '''[[NumberTwo Beau]]''': ''(screaming)'' FIRE AT WILL!\ |
| 369 | '''[[MadBomber Veth]]''': ''(also screaming)'' FIRE AT WILL!\ |
| 370 | '''[[ShrinkingViolet Yasha]]''': ''(uncertainly)'' ...Firing? |
| 371 | * After Beau states that picking flowers is like picking someone's genitals, Yasha decides to pick a [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything big purple one. She cups it at the base but it's so big that she needs two hands, and by the end she has deflowered the plant.]] When Laura then asks if there is any [[AccidentalInnuendo white stuff coming out of the stem]], she has to state that she's not trying to be dirty and genuinly wants to know. |
| 372 | -->'''[[DeadpanSnarker Matt]]''': No, I know what you're talking about. You're just also [[HehHehYouSaidX Laura Bailey]]. |
| 373 | [[/folder]] |
| 374 | |
| 375 | [[folder:Episode 101: Mysteries, Memories and Music]] |
| 376 | * [[AttentionWhore Sam,]] dressed like Bruce Lee in Film/GameOfDeath, is at it again. There is still no sponsor, but Sam wants to advertise himself. Specifically his skills at advertising. Because of course he does. |
| 377 | -->'''Sam:''' When you're thinking of insincerity, think of Sam. |
| 378 | * The Nein talk to Viridian about the island. She claims that people who wish to leave are free to do so. |
| 379 | -->'''Taliesin:''' Is she telling the truth?\ |
| 380 | '''Matt:''' She seems sincere. With your ridiculous passive Insight.\ |
| 381 | '''Taliesin:''' *grins* Suck it, DM. |
| 382 | * The Nein try to figure out how long they've been on the island. |
| 383 | -->'''Matt:''' You figure it's been roughly--\ |
| 384 | '''Liam:''' [[ContinuityNod Precisely.]]\ |
| 385 | '''Matt:''' 4 hours, 36 minutes, 51 seconds.\ |
| 386 | '''Caleb:''' 4 hours, 36 minutes, 51 seconds, give or take a few seconds.\ |
| 387 | '''Matt:''' *shakes head* Precisely. |
| 388 | * The Nein reveal their band, ''Yasha and the Orphan Makers.'' They offer to put on a show, but are at a disadvantage because Caduceus gave his bone flute away. |
| 389 | -->'''Jester:''' Maybe you could just scream along. [[BrutalHonesty That's what it sounded like anyway.]] |
| 390 | * The Nein try to form a plan, and talk turns to the Ball-Eater's crew. |
| 391 | -->'''Fjord:''' Marius still hasn't killed anyone.\ |
| 392 | '''Beau:''' That's what I'm saying! He sucks.\ |
| 393 | '''Caduceus:''' Plenty of reasonable people haven't killed anyone.\ |
| 394 | '''Fjord:''' Name one.\ |
| 395 | '''Caduceus:''' [[{{Touche}} ... That's fair. Now I'm questioning the choices I've made over the last year.]] |
| 396 | * Beau, who has an Intelligence stat of 19 thanks to her magic circlet, decides that a great use of her time is to try and punch Caleb's Dancing Lights, to understand what it feels like. |
| 397 | * Beau meets a young human boy named Treece. She tries to get some information out of him, and gives him some of her bottle rockets. |
| 398 | -->'''Beau:''' Don't point these at any other kids. Or at your parents.\ |
| 399 | '''Treece:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint But I can point them at anybody else?]] |
| 400 | * Beau, after rolling a Nat 20 on an Intelligence check, apparently used to spend her time in the Cobalt Soul reading picture books about dinosaurs and other random things. |
| 401 | * In the course of their talk with the village's leaders, the Nein reveal that Caduceus has tea made from dead people. One of the leaders wants to try it. |
| 402 | -->'''Lukash:''' I'll try it.\ |
| 403 | '''Terra:''' ''Lukash!''\ |
| 404 | '''Lukash:''' What? I'm curious. |
| 405 | * Yasha takes off after her performance. The rest of the Nein turn in shortly after. Jester uses Sending to tell Yasha that they're going to their lodgings. Yasha answers just as the Nein get there. |
| 406 | -->'''Matt:''' There's a brief moment of awkwardness as you get there, like when two people talking on the phone go into the same room. |
| 407 | * Jester tries to get the Traveller to write a message in her notebook. Veth casts Mage Hand and makes the pen move. |
| 408 | -->'''Veth:''' Go on and kiss him tomorrow, Jester. Fjord is ready for you. |
| 409 | * Caduceus offers his plant charm necklace, but Laura Bailey simply cannot take him seriously. |
| 410 | -->'''Caduceus:''' Does anyone have an empty slot? For their- for their equipment?\ |
| 411 | '''Laura:''' [[HehHehYouSaidX Hahahahahahahaha]].\ |
| 412 | '''Taliesin:''' You're welcome. It's all for you. [''as Caduceus''] Does anyone have an equipment slot that they need filled? There ya are.\ |
| 413 | '''Jester:''' Yeah, I do. I have an empty slot. Heheheh.\ |
| 414 | '''Caduceus:''' I have thing you might want- [''Laura falls apart''] I have a thing I'm not *using*... [''as Taliesin''] I don't even know why I talk to Laura Bailey.\ |
| 415 | '''Matt:''' I feel ya, man.\ |
| 416 | '''Taliesin:''' How much of your brain is just euphemisms? |
| 417 | * The Nein briefly discuss Vokodo and the sacrifices he wants. Jester doesn't understand why so many of the others are willing to part with their things. |
| 418 | -->'''Jester:''' He's just a dude pretending to be a god. [[VerbalBackspace Not that there's anything wrong with that.]] |
| 419 | * Before the party go to sleep Caduceus proposes they set up a routine of reciting their names and facts from their backgrounds every morning and night to ensure they aren't losing their memories. Jester's facts are that her mother is the Ruby of the Sea "and my dad sweats a lot!". |
| 420 | ** Sam starts with "I'm Veth and I'm an alcoholic" and then forgets the names he improvised for her parents. Cue ribbing from the other players for [[CallBack not knowing his mother's name]]. He does eventually remember that he used "Travis" for Veth's father but thinks he called her mother "Laura". After Ashley corrects him Sam amends the name to [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Ashley_plc "Laura Ashley"]]. |
| 421 | * When Yasha is looking for her blanket that mysteriously disappeared, she finds a beetle that's been dead for a while on the dusty floor under the bed. [[ExtremeOmnivore She promptly eats it.]] |
| 422 | -->'''Matt:''' Hey, waste not, want not, right? |
| 423 | * Taliesin rolls a poor Dexterity check, leading Caduceus to fall into a pool full of a tar-like substance. He is attacked by an antlion, and Yasha has to pull him loose. It happens to him again, and Yasha has to save him again. |
| 424 | ** How does Caduceus react the second time? |
| 425 | --->'''Caduceus:''' Help, it's-- ''again.'' |
| 426 | *** The rest of the cast finds this ''hilarious'', and keeps breaking out into giggle fits for the next several minutes. Marisha even declares she wants "Help, it's again" on a T-shirt. |
| 427 | ** Cadeceus does ''not'' enjoy the tar pit whatsoever, [[OutOfCharacterIsSeriousBusiness something which he himself notes is rare]]. |
| 428 | --->'''Cadeceus:''' ''(after falling in a second time)'' [[DissonantSerenity I'm not built for this. I'm not built for this.]] This is the first time I've been in nature and gone "[[{{Squick}} This is gross]]". This is just- It's in my boots. It's in my boots and I can smell it. [[NoJustNoReaction Nope.]] |
| 429 | ** After the second time Caduceus falls into the tar, Caleb (who has polymorphed into a giant owl) picks him up and carries him. Not by the shoulders, but sideways by the torso, on the wrong side of the "flop hair" so it all falls into his face, still dripping with tar. Caduceus is beyond caring at this point. |
| 430 | --->'''Caduceus:''' I would have commented on some humility issues here, but that's gone now after the second one. |
| 431 | ** When Beau hears a sobbing noise from a tree, she gets the others to fake sobbing to see if they get a reaction. The Nein do, except Caduceus. Because he's already sobbed enough today. |
| 432 | [[/folder]] |
| 433 | |
| 434 | [[folder:Episode 102: Ghosts, Dinosaurs, and Stuff]] |
| 435 | * Sam and Laura-- I mean, [=BlackWillow73@AOL.com=] and Cryptonic Override are still trapped in the internet thanks to [[ContinuityNod Cereal Killer's treachery.]] However, they make it to cyber-safety, and Taliesin Jaffe decides to use [=NordVPN=], his Nintendo Power glove, and his l33t haxx0r skills for [[OneLastJob one last slice]] to save them. |
| 436 | * COVID-19 related problems require improvisation to solve. In this case, Matt needs a laser pointer to help the players indicate where their characters stand on his battle maps. |
| 437 | ** Taliesin has Caduceus stand as far as he can from [[ContinuityNod the pools.]] |
| 438 | --->'''Taliesin:''' Fuck those things. |
| 439 | * Beau is dropped to 0 hp, and both Fjord and Yasha rush to her aid. Fjord uses Lay on Hands for 2 hp, and Yasha uses Healing Hands for 12. |
| 440 | -->'''Travis:''' It's not a competition.\ |
| 441 | '''Ashley:''' It's a competition. |
| 442 | * Matt is wearing [[https://twitter.com/doomquasar/status/1228373916055490560 this shirt]] from Polygon's {{WebVideo/Unraveled}}, with his vest deliberately obscuring it so it appears to say [[SignsOfDisrepair "I love eating ass."]] just like BDG did in his own video featuring the shirt. |
| 443 | * Sam takes a drink from his flask and immediately winces. |
| 444 | -->'''Sam:''' I don't think I cleaned it well enough last week.\ |
| 445 | '''Laura:''' Don't drink from it again tonight!\ |
| 446 | '''Travis:''' If you [[ToiletHumor poop your pants]] at the table, it would be ''amazing.'' |
| 447 | ** When Sam complains he’s never tasted something so foul, Matt brings up the “Search for Grog” live show, where Sam used Scanlan’s old tankard which had apparently not been cleaned since it was retired following Campaign 1 - Sam clarifies that he was including that. |
| 448 | * Beau makes a series of strikes on the Bodak. Jester has some advice. |
| 449 | -->'''Jester:''' Go for its dick! |
| 450 | ** Beau does, and Marisha rolls a Natural 1. Matt rules that it fails because the Bodak has no genitals. |
| 451 | --->'''Matt:''' It's like a Ken doll down there. |
| 452 | * A badly wounded Beau has Yasha carry her for a while after the fight. [[ShipperOnDeck Jester]] flashes Beau two thumbs up, and Beau mimes how impressed she is with Yasha's arms. |
| 453 | ** Matt has the party roll one last Dexterity save to avoid the tar pools. Laura is the only member to fail hers. Matt rules that it was because she was too busy drawing Beau and Yasha to notice. |
| 454 | ** However, Matt had her roll a d6 when she did. Unlike with Caduceus, she rolled well enough to get her feet out before the antlion attacked. |
| 455 | --->'''Jester:''' I don't know why you had so much trouble, Caduceus. Just step out if it happens again.\ |
| 456 | '''Caduceus (after a few seconds of silence):''' I feel like I tried that. |
| 457 | * Matt has the party roll a Constitution saving throw because of mosquito bites. Jester fails hers. |
| 458 | -->'''Jester:''' I feel like I have to poop, but I'm not sure if it's going to come out [[ToiletHumor the top or the bottom.]] |
| 459 | * Jester reveals that mosquitoes have always liked her. |
| 460 | -->'''Jester:''' My mama says it's because I eat too many sweets.\ |
| 461 | '''Fjord:''' That makes sense. |
| 462 | * Fjord and Jester are talking about the Traveler at the start of their short rest. When they're done, Fjord starts to go talk to Caduceus about possibly restoring Viridian's memories, and Jester suggests that he try his Lay On Hands ability on her by grabbing her breast. He protests that he needs to take the rest first, but it comes out as "I need to ''breast'' first", before hastily correcting himself and telling Jester that he's only going to touch Viridian on the [[StandardFemaleGrabArea shoulder]]. Cue Veth interrupting, followed by Yasha, leading Jester to complain about how everyone can hear them. Fjord reiterates that he needs a short rest, and caps it off by embarrassing himself with ''another'' FreudianSlip: |
| 463 | -->'''Fjord:''' Just a titty bit of time. |
| 464 | * The party hides and watches a Tyrannosaurus Rex eat a Draegloth. Matt's description is suitably horrific, but certain people aren't horrified. |
| 465 | -->'''Travis (in a quiet, high-pitched voice with a big grin):''' Is that a T-Rex? Is that a T-Rex? |
| 466 | * Caleb enlarges Veth because he has to cast a Transmutation spell in order to change his Transmuter's Stone. Veth and Beau immediately engage in an arm-wrestling contest. Veth wins. |
| 467 | ** Viridian is bemused by the whole thing. |
| 468 | --->'''Viridian:''' You are a very strange bunch.\ |
| 469 | '''Caduceus:''' Thank you. |
| 470 | * As the Nein enter the volcano, Matt makes them roll Constitution saving throws in order to breathe. Laura reminds the party that she still has Sprinkle, and has to roll a save for him. She rolls a 17, which is exactly what he needed. Matt is suitably impressed by the toughest weasel in Exandria. |
| 471 | -->'''Liam (as Sprinkle):''' I AM MY SCARS! |
| 472 | ** The bad rolls here go to Fjord, Caduceus, and Beau - Fjord stumbled on some uneven rocks and fell. Caduceus hit his head on a low ceiling. Beau? [[ComedicSociopathy She was laughing at them.]] |
| 473 | * Matt requires a Nature check in order to identify some plants within the volcano. None of them are proficient in Nature, not even Caduceus who one would think should be. |
| 474 | -->'''Caduceus:''' You'd think so, but no.\ |
| 475 | '''Sam:''' We all know (Intelligence) is the dump stat.\ |
| 476 | '''Marisha:''' Keyleth is crying somewhere and she doesn't know why. |
| 477 | * There is a CallBack during their discussion with Vokodo. |
| 478 | -->'''Jester:''' [[RunningGag Have you heard of the Traveler?]] |
| 479 | * The new seating arrangements mean that [[RunningGag Marisha can't hit Liam anymore...]] at least she couldn't. Sam got a big stick with a boxing glove on the end. When she gives the signal, he will hit Liam. |
| 480 | * [[TitleDrop We see the episode get named during the episode itself.]] |
| 481 | -->'''Taliesin:''' Ghosts, dinosaurs, and stuff. That's what we should call the episode.\ |
| 482 | '''Matt:''' I'm writing that down. |
| 483 | * The cast is absolutely floored by TheReveal of Viridian really being Keyleth's mom. Marisha had the biggest reaction, for obvious reasons, but everybody had a big reaction. |
| 484 | ** What makes it funnier is that contrary to what many had assumed, ''none'' of them pieced it together beforehand. Sam was first to know only because he had looked at the chat and saw them talking about it. |
| 485 | --->'''Sam:''' We are the most suspicious people and it didn't occur to ''any of us''! |
| 486 | ** When Taliesin proposes to cast Greater Restoration on Viridian, Sam and Liam (the only one Sam told) react visibly, trying desperately to stifle their excitement and give nothing away. |
| 487 | --->'''Liam:''' ''[under his breath, glancing at Sam]'' Oh, ''shit''. |
| 488 | ** The cast are so busy freaking out and discussing the reveal that it takes them several minutes to notice that Matt hasn't actually ended the episode yet. |
| 489 | ** This exchange in the comment section of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-X78tqMzKpQ this video:]] |
| 490 | --->'''H Hylobates:''' Two weeks and it never crossed their minds. Meanwhile Critters went from "She's a druid -> must have something to do with Keyleth -> it's her actual mother" in about a minute.\ |
| 491 | '''cameron hall:''' We also thought Caleb was a werewolf so don't give us too much credit. |
| 492 | [[/folder]] |
| 493 | |
| 494 | [[folder:Episode 103: Maritime Mysteries]] |
| 495 | * Sam and Liam do a Franchise/BackToTheFuture themed promo to celebrate that night's sponsor, who was putting out a Back To The Future themed card game. The impressions were over the top. |
| 496 | * Sam played Marty, but it took him a long time to decide if he wanted to be Marty or Doc. He then gave us his Doc. |
| 497 | -->'''Matt:''' You made the right choice. |
| 498 | * Vilya tells them that they have to get off the island. Veth somewhat disagrees. |
| 499 | -->'''Veth:''' The V.O. community is very important to us. Sorry, the "Vo" community. |
| 500 | * Fjord asks Vilya about Vokodo's nature and possible weaknesses. Of course, this being the Mighty Nein... |
| 501 | -->'''Jester:''' Does he have a butthole? |
| 502 | ** They don't let go of the "butthole" thing. In fact, they start referring to Heaven's Falls as Vokodo's butthole, as it located in a shadowy area. |
| 503 | --->'''Caleb:''' Where the sun doesn't shine. |
| 504 | ** It comes to a head when the Nein and Vilya get to the waterfall and they decide what they are going to do. Taliesin and Laura both describe it as tending to their shit. |
| 505 | --->'''Taliesin:''' Buttholes and shit.\ |
| 506 | '''Matt:''' [[CallBack That's not going to be the title of the episode.]] Which isn't to say it's not tempting. |
| 507 | * Caleb asks if anyone has some jade he can borrow for a spell. Cut to Veth and Beau, off scouting, who are talking about all the jade they have, including the jade used to make Beau's back tattoo. |
| 508 | -->'''Veth:''' We got so much jade; I might just throw some in the jungle here. |
| 509 | ** Matt has the horrifying realisation as Veth casts Message to Beau (who is diving underwater) that the spell has become Zoom. |
| 510 | * Yasha and Fjord spar while all this is going on. Travis decides that Fjord is using both hands, but Yasha is only using one. |
| 511 | -->'''Yasha:''' You're getting better. |
| 512 | * Yasha gets caught in the geyser's jet and is comically launched into the air. She pops out her Necrotic Shroud in an attempt to save herself but only manages to flail her wings frantically before crashing into the cliff. Veth sloooooooowly levitates up to meet her. |
| 513 | -->'''Veth:''' Whoooooa, that was ''crazy''! |
| 514 | * Beau finds a piece of carved wood under the water, and hands it off to Caduceus. |
| 515 | -->'''Caduceus:''' Hey, wood!\ |
| 516 | '''Beau:''' What is that?\ |
| 517 | '''Caduceus:''' It's wood.\ |
| 518 | '''Beau:''' ...Yeah, I know.\ |
| 519 | '''Caduceus:''' Then why did you ask?\ |
| 520 | '''Fjord:''' What kind of wood?\ |
| 521 | '''Caduceus:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Wet wood?]]\ |
| 522 | '''Jester:''' You guys, what? What about wood?\ |
| 523 | '''Caduceus:''' It's wet. It's wet wood.\ |
| 524 | '''Beau:''' We found this wet wood.\ |
| 525 | '''Caduceus:''' [[OverlyLongGag Where?]] |
| 526 | * Caleb Polymorphs himself into a great white shark to get through the waterfall. Fjord, who was already on the other side and did not see him do this, immediately screams, shoots three Eldritch Blasts at the shark, then pisses himself. |
| 527 | ** As the rest of the Nein enter, Liam points out that sharks have an Intelligence of 1 and that, much like the Jester-moth incident, Caleb would be "dumb as rocks." Matt rules that Caleb would still see the Nein as allies and wouldn't attack anyone in a territorial rage, but Caleb ''does'' forget that he's supposed to turn himself back into a human until Caduceus (who can speak to animals) tells him that they need him to have legs. |
| 528 | [[/folder]] |
| 529 | |
| 530 | [[folder:Episode 104: The Ruined Sliver]] |
| 531 | * Sam does another Ravensburger ad, this time for a Wonder Woman themed game. He [[{{Pun}} lassos]] Ashley into helping. It eventually devolves into Ashley confessing her plans to murder Sam and get away with it. |
| 532 | -->'''Ashley:''' Kill Sam Riegel, drive the body to the Brown Mountain Dam in the Angeles Forest, dump it in the creek behind the dam because no one ever looks there. |
| 533 | * The next ad for D&D Beyond ([[RunningGag D&D Beyond!]]) has Matt shill the new special Character Sheet app. The... unfortunate... link is lampshaded. |
| 534 | * As the episode proper begins, Fjord fills the others in on what happened between him and Caduceus at the end of the last episode. He finishes his explanation to the tune of [[Music/ScatmanJohn Scatman.]] |
| 535 | * In sharp contrast to Fjord, who was just trying to grapple him without hurting him, Beau's method of trying to save Caduceus is to [[PercussivePrevention beat him over the head with Stunning Strike until he stops moving]], drag him backwards until Caleb can grab him with Cat's Ire, then punch him with Stunning Strike ''again'' when it looks like he's coming back to his senses. |
| 536 | -->'''Caduceus:''' Oh, hey! ''(gets clocked in the face)'' |
| 537 | ** Beau makes a CallBack as she drags Caduceus back to where Caleb is waiting. |
| 538 | --->'''Beau:''' [[CallBack Help, it's again.]] |
| 539 | * Fjord, Yasha, and Beau try to settle who gets carried by Vilya with a game of [[CallBack Boulder, Parchment, Shears]]... but because they're three people playing a two-person game, the game ends in a three-way tie when all of them hold up something different. |
| 540 | -->'''Caleb:''' I know three-ways, that is not how you accomplish them.\ |
| 541 | '''Matt:''' ''(laughing hysterically)'' How have you all survived to level twelve?! |
| 542 | ** A rematch is called, and Fjord wins... meaning he goes with Vilya, which is exactly what he was trying to avoid. |
| 543 | * Caleb acts as a literal wingman for Beau and Yasha. |
| 544 | -->'''Liam/Caleb:''' Mixing it up! I transform and grab the lesbians and take off. |
| 545 | ** As they take flight, Marisha quotes Titanic, saying "Yasha! I'm flying! I'm really flying!" Ashley, on the other hand, [[Literature/PeterPan had a different reference in mind]], [[RuleOfThree leaving the cast in further stitches once again]]. |
| 546 | --->'''Ashley:''' I was going to say "You're doing it, Peter!" but that's the wrong movie. |
| 547 | * Right after both the boulder-parchment-shears fiasco ''and'' the Peter Pan reference, the cast gets sent into giggle aftershocks when Matt describes the smoke rising off the volcano as "[[AccidentalInnuendo thick and angry]]", causing [[HehHehYouSaidX Laura]] to pull a face. It messes them up so badly that Matt calls the break early so they can calm down. |
| 548 | -->'''Liam:''' [[SelfDeprecation Come to Critical Role for epic adventure!]] |
| 549 | * After the Nein and Vilya get to the ruins, Jester uses her Charm of Plant Command to speak to one of the trees for intelligence. The tree has a distinct, familiar way of speaking. |
| 550 | -->'''Marisha:''' It's Cad-spruce-us! |
| 551 | * As the battle gets underway, Yasha approaches the lead wraith, who is currently engaged with Beau. |
| 552 | -->'''Beau:''' Yasha? Yasha? Yasha, are you watching? Ya- Are you watching? Yasha? |
| 553 | * As the Nein explore the Tower, they find some unopened sarcophagi. Jester has this to say: |
| 554 | -->'''Jester:''' [[CallBack I hear it's dangerous to open random sarcophagi.]] |
| 555 | * An Investigation check reveals that the Nein could have possibly recruited the ghosts to help them with Vokodo, if they hadn't destroyed their leader and scattered the rest... |
| 556 | -->'''Matt:''' ...''if'' [[NiceJobBreakingItHero the path of wanton violence hadn't been chosen.]]\ |
| 557 | '''Marisha:''' That feels so out of proportion to what had happened. |
| 558 | ** The Youtube thumbnail is Marisha punching out Matt. Possibly for related reasons. |
| 559 | ** A strand of Matt's hair sticks out from behind his head, coming into view right behind his mouth. It looks like some drool from the hit. |
| 560 | ** Later, when the group is discussing what to do about Vokodo: |
| 561 | --->'''Fjord:''' I think we should take a lesson from today and just try and ''talk'' to Vokodo. Let's learn from Beau's mistake.\ |
| 562 | '''Caduceus:''' [[{{Troll}} I cast Blindness.]] |
| 563 | [[/folder]] |
| 564 | |
| 565 | [[folder:Episode 105: Rumble at Rumblecusp]] |
| 566 | * [=NordVPN=] is one of the episode's sponsors, so we get another technorific installment of Nord by Nordwest: The Quest for the [=UltraCodex=] Reloaded. Taliesin, aka [=Fr33zurBurn=], uses his master hacking skills to free [=BlackWillow=] and Cryptonic Override [[ContinuityNod from the internet,]] with the help of an inexplicably [[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent Cockney and/or Australian]] Ashley Johnson (alias [=MadHatterson=]). |
| 567 | ** Taliesin's Power Glove is set to ''VideoGame/DuckHunt'' and he's hacking for friendship with the power of his ancient hacking equipment ([[BeyondTheImpossible an abacus]]) given to him by the pharaoh Ramses. |
| 568 | ** Ashley is totally jazzed to save Laura. [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg And Sam.]] |
| 569 | ** Laura continuing Cryptonic Override's RunningGag of taking off her shades, only to have another pair of shades right underneath the first pair. |
| 570 | ** Marisha is... [[ThousandYardStare fine. Just fine.]] [[BlatantLies Totally fine with everything that's happening]]. |
| 571 | * Jester gets the idea of pitting the dragon turtle against Vokodo. She spins a scenario detailing the fight, which ends with the turtle ferrying the Nein to their next location. Because of course it does. |
| 572 | * Jester's MotorMouth tendencies force her to use two spell slots in order to Send to the dragon turtle, and she still needs another casting to give him all of the details. |
| 573 | * Caleb casts Tongues on Jester. Laura realizes that Jester would be able to understand Caleb normally if he spoke Zemnian. Liam's response was immediate. |
| 574 | -->'''Liam/Caleb:''' I don’t have an accent. This is flawless Zemnian. |
| 575 | * Yasha asserts that the Nein can fight both Vokodo and the dragon turtle if they have to. |
| 576 | -->'''Veth:''' Are you joking?\ |
| 577 | '''Yasha:''' [[BluntYes Yes.]]\ |
| 578 | '''Veth:''' Your voice didn't change at all.\ |
| 579 | '''Yasha:''' I'm told I have a dry sense of humour. |
| 580 | * Vilya offers her aid to the Nein for the fight with Vokodo. Some of them are surprised at this, but Vilya reminds them that she has made a family of sorts on the island and she doesn't want them to remain enslaved to Vokodo. |
| 581 | -->'''Veth:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint You think of us as family?]]\ |
| 582 | '''Vilya:''' [[SureLetsGoWithThat ...sure.]] |
| 583 | * Vilya uses Transport Via Plants to get to their staging area for the next day. She is the last one through, and the tree immediately closes behind her. The Nein wonder if she would have been cut in half if she weren't quick enough. Beau asks a question, but misspeaks. |
| 584 | -->'''Beau:''' Maybe that's how faces get trees. |
| 585 | * The Heroes Feast gives Vilya and the Nein 9 extra hit points. |
| 586 | -->'''Travis:''' [[TakeThat That's half of Caleb's hit points!]] |
| 587 | * Fjord notices that Yasha has hardly touched her bugs. |
| 588 | -->'''Yasha:''' I've never had (pancakes) before, but now they might be my favourite thing. |
| 589 | * Thanks to the Heroes' Feast, all of them except Caleb make their Wisdom save to remember. |
| 590 | -->'''Caleb:''' Something is wrong, but I feel good.\ |
| 591 | '''Veth:''' Caleb's in a good mood?\ |
| 592 | '''Caduceus:''' That's not right. |
| 593 | * Jester's unfortunate choice of words when messaging the Dragon Turtle for help proves problematic. |
| 594 | -->'''Jester:''' ''(At the end of her Sending)'' Fuck him!\ |
| 595 | '''Dragon Turtle:''' I told you before; I don't need a mate. |
| 596 | * The Mighty Nein experience in one short exchange. |
| 597 | -->'''Caduceus:''' Are we going to be clever about this?\ |
| 598 | '''Jester:''' Why start now? |
| 599 | * Half the episode is just getting ready for the fight against Vokodo, with a lot of tension building. As soon as Jester announces she's casting Guiding Bolt- |
| 600 | -->'''Matt:''' Well we're gonna go ahead and take a break. And jump back into this. Beforehand, as part of that, let me go ahead and set up the battle map...\ |
| 601 | '''Sam:''' This impending [[TotalPartyKill TPK]] is [[EnforcedPlug brought to you by Dwarven Forge]].\ |
| 602 | '''Travis:''' But like ''really''. |
| 603 | * Matt brings out the Vokodo battle map. It is amazing, as usual, and it sparks this comment from Marisha. |
| 604 | -->'''Marisha:''' Sometimes I see him buy pretty things, and then learn it's to destroy us...\ |
| 605 | '''Sam:''' Please tell us if you ever see, like, an aquarium on your credit card bill. |
| 606 | * In the first round of the Vokodo fight, Vilya casts a spell, forming an underwater storm cloud. Impressive, but Taliesin has this to say to Marisha. |
| 607 | -->'''Taliesin:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice If we've learned anything about your mom, it's that water is not her favoured terrain.]] |
| 608 | ** This storm cloud later causes [[ButtMonkey Fjord]] to be struck by lightning instead of Vokodo. |
| 609 | --->'''Sam:''' [[SarcasmMode Thanks, Keyleth's mom!]]\ |
| 610 | '''Marisha:''' [[CallBack Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.]]\ |
| 611 | '''Liam:''' A joke five years in the making! |
| 612 | * Due to Vokodo's ability to reflect a spell if he makes a saving throw, [[EpicFail Caleb and Jester both end up accidentally banishing Beau & Caduceus respectively to the Astral Sea.]] |
| 613 | -->'''Caduceus:''' Oh for pete- *bamf'd* |
| 614 | * After Caleb successfully shuts down Vokodo's Chain Lightning with a Counterspell; yet ''again'' neutering an antagonist's deadliest abilities with it, Sam starts wondering if they should just ban the spell. |
| 615 | -->'''Matt:''' No, it's great! Besides, once you guys start fighting mages, I get to shut down all your shit.\ |
| 616 | '''Sam:''' [[TemptingFate Good thing there's no enemy mages in this campaign!]] |
| 617 | * In a BlackComedy fashion, Caleb's use of Disintegrate; Liam ''knows'' [[AttackReflector the risks]] but also knows Caleb is going to go for it. For extra bit of dark humour, despite Matt checking for those who can ''survive'' the amount of damage Liam rolled, Liam jokingly suggests ''Jester'' as the target if Vokodo succeeds (Laura can also be seen mouthing 'I hope he does' in response). Luckily so, Vokodo fails...thanks to a timely Natural 1 that [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Matt is disbelieving over]]. |
| 618 | ** This is somehow made funnier by the reveal on a later Talks Machina that, effectively, Caleb did ''not'' know the risk -- Liam had ''completely forgotten'' about Vokodo’s Spell reflection ability when he picked Disintegrate, and accidentally set up a macabre test of luck that nearly got him killed. |
| 619 | [[/folder]] |
| 620 | |
| 621 | [[folder:Episode 106: A Fog Lifted]] |
| 622 | * The typical opening [[RunningGag "We play Dungeons & Dragons"]] is unusually low-key. The reason? |
| 623 | -->'''Marisha:''' We're on island time. |
| 624 | * Sam plugs Skillshare, by singing a song that is [[ExactWords legally distinct]] from the opening number of Theatre/{{Hamilton}}. |
| 625 | * As Matt ends the announcements, the cast trolls him by making owl-like Hoo noises. |
| 626 | -->'''Matt:''' [[WithFriendsLikeThese I hate you all.]] |
| 627 | * Matt makes an [[RunningGag unfortunate]] choice of words in regards to describing what the torchblooms have done to the tunnels. |
| 628 | -->'''Matt:''' It's only just this portion of the tunnel that has been puckered. |
| 629 | * Veth's greed keeps making her make Investigation checks to find objects. Being a rogue, she can't get less than a 21, which is what she keeps getting. So, naturally, on her last check before the Nein bug out of Vokodo's chamber: |
| 630 | -->'''Sam:''' Natural 20! |
| 631 | * Matt and Liam get into a tiny argument over what Keen Mind can do. |
| 632 | -->'''Matt:''' Keen Mind does a lot of good things, but it can't do ''everything'', Liam! |
| 633 | * Caleb's final survival check is low enough that he runs into a dead end and is attacked by a volcanic eel. In a rare DidNotThinkThisThrough moment for Caleb, he turns into a shark. Firstly, the shark is barely big enough to fit in the tunnels, so he finds himself cartoonishly stuck. Secondly, sharks can't swim backwards. He at least manages to kill the eel, earning him a HDYWTDT. He simply eats it, then turns back into Caleb. |
| 634 | * As they escape from the chamber with the ships, Veth uses Shape Water to turn the water around Fjord yellow. |
| 635 | -->'''Fjord:''' It's not me! |
| 636 | * Beau uses the reverse waterfall to pull a [[CallBack reverse-Keyleth.]] |
| 637 | * The revelation that Yasha has functional wings leads to the following reference. |
| 638 | -->'''Mighty Nein:''' [[WesternAnimation/PeterPan You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!]] |
| 639 | ** Beau, from the top of the waterfall, demands to be caught by Yasha. She decides to pull out her wings, but embarrassed, attempts a LookBehindYou against everyone's passive insight. She rolls a 10. |
| 640 | --->'''Matt:''' Everyone stares at you.\ |
| 641 | '''Caduceus:''' I wasn't even looking! |
| 642 | ** Caleb tops the whole thing off. |
| 643 | --->'''Caleb:''' This is the weirdest mating ritual I've ever seen. |
| 644 | * After a quick flight together over top of the waterfall, Yasha and Beau have one of their most [[LoveMakesYouDumb awkward stammering conversations]] yet. Laura silently screams “KISS!” while listening. To top it off, neither Yasha nor Beau can respond coherently when Matt asks how they plan to get back down, in or out of character. |
| 645 | * ''Naturally'', while the villagers are still getting used to what has happened, [[FromBadToWorse Traveler cultists start arriving to the village for [=TravelerCon.=]]] |
| 646 | * After their meeting with the first [=TravelerCon=] arrivals, Veth sits Jester down and spells out the situation. |
| 647 | -->'''Veth:''' This is a probletunity for us.\ |
| 648 | '''Travis:''' A ''probletunity''? |
| 649 | * Fjord is annoyed to discover that Marius ''still'' hasn't [[RunningGag killed anyone.]] |
| 650 | * Caleb sends Frumpkin to Jester's shoulder, where a freaked out Sprinkle attacks him, sending Frumpkin away. |
| 651 | -->'''Caleb:''' Ja, [[SeenItAll that tracks with the day]].\ |
| 652 | '''Fjord:''' Sprinkle has killed more people than Marius! |
| 653 | * After escaping Vokodo's cave, Yasha asks Veth if she picked up Skingorger, which she did. |
| 654 | -->'''Veth:''' Oh, yes, I've been holding it in my pocket. I'm three feet tall, and I've been carrying your six foot long sword [[{{Hammerspace}} just back here!]] ''(pulls the sword off her back)'' This is Dungeons & Dragons!\ |
| 655 | '''Matt:''' That awkward anime hero character who's [[{{BFS}} wielding a sword four times their size]]. |
| 656 | * In preparation for Traveler Con, Fjord pulls Jester aside and asks her to prepare for people being angry the Traveler is trying to pull away from them. Jester proceeds to ask Fjord a number of very deep philosophical questions regarding worshipping a god and what the worshipper expects to get out of it, specifically comparing the Wildmother. Fjord's face goes on an emotional journey of bewilderment, awe, and utter confusion, as he has no idea how to answer these questions, least of all coming from [[CloudCuckooLander Jester]]. |
| 657 | * The party is completely wiped from the Vokodo fight, and even with a short rest, keep saying "Goodnight" to one another, with another member reminding them it's two in the afternoon at most. |
| 658 | -->'''Caduceus:''' Cappucino? Cappucino? Cappucino?\ |
| 659 | '''Beau:''' Oh, Caduceus, are you making cappucino?\ |
| 660 | '''Caduceus:''' I don't have any of the things-\ |
| 661 | '''Beau:''' Caduceus, are you making tea?\ |
| 662 | '''Caduceus:''' The only thing I hav-\ |
| 663 | '''Beau:''' [''whining''] Caduceus, please make tea...\ |
| 664 | '''Caduceus:''' I've already--\ |
| 665 | '''Caleb:''' Any of your dead people give a little kick?\ |
| 666 | '''Beau:''' Just please, the caffeinated dead people.\ |
| 667 | '''Caduceus:''' I've already got a kettle going. I've had one going for awhile.\ |
| 668 | '''Caleb:''' You don't have any Monster Energy dead people? |
| 669 | * At the climax of the speech, [[ContinuityNod Treece comes out and puts the fireworks in the bonfire,]] to the surprise and delight of those assembled. |
| 670 | * Jester discusses her idea of having the islanders who remain open a resort. The cast ''runs'' with it, prompting references to Fyre Festival, Jurassic Park, Fantasy Island, Superman, and more. |
| 671 | * Beau offers Vilya a drink from the flask. Vilya declines, saying that her family doesn't drink. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IylvEifiYSs Viewers familiar with Campaign 1 know that Keyleth... hasn't exactly held to that.]] |
| 672 | * Vilya asks about the money recovered from Vokodo. |
| 673 | -->'''Veth:''' Of course! The V.O. community should be compensated. Unsung heroes, really. |
| 674 | [[/folder]] |
| 675 | |
| 676 | [[folder:Episode 107: Devoutness and Dicks]] |
| 677 | * The ad spot is instead given by Taliesin claiming to be Sam, whilst Sam is literally sat at the table. The rest of the group proceed to ask questions to figure out which is the real Sam, with Sam’s unparalleled skill at corporate shilling sealing it. |
| 678 | * Beau, Fjord, and Caleb are guilt-tripped into giving Vilya 50 gold from their own coffers along with the rest for a total of 350, just as a token of their thanks... despite Vilya having already gotten her own share and refusing the 350 from Veth anyway. |
| 679 | ** What makes it ironic is that Beau points out that Vilya's daughter would be all grown up by now, without realizing who she really is. To say nothing of how she wouldn't even need the money regardless, due to her own past adventures. |
| 680 | * The Traveler appears as the group is discussing the potential of a human sacrifice ceremony; which greatly interests him. Marisha realizes they're just doing Midsommar again. |
| 681 | ** Among his nicknames, Artagan calls Beau "[[Manga/OnePunchMan One Punch Girl]]". |
| 682 | * Beau rattles off the list of ideas the group has come up with for Traveler Con, including: |
| 683 | ** Make a stage. |
| 684 | ** Make dick drumsticks. |
| 685 | ** Have a dance-off. |
| 686 | ** Beat the drums with the dick drumsticks. |
| 687 | ** Dick hunt (way better than {{VideoGame/Duck Hunt}} according to Liam). |
| 688 | ** Dick volcano trial. |
| 689 | ** Ultimate switcheroo -- Traveler is the Moonweaver. |
| 690 | ** Moon the Moonweaver. |
| 691 | * While discussing ideas for the [=Travelercon=] show, Sam-as-Veth makes a reference to the trope-naming ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve moment in an {{Expy}} of Theatre/PeterPan Veth once saw. Artagan is quick to point out that ''this is actually a thing that works for Fey'', before quickly clarifying it as a OrSoIHeard because [[RunningGag he hates the theatre.]] |
| 692 | * The first roll of the night is an Investigation check to see how well the Nein (minus Caduceus) can hide dick statues. |
| 693 | -->'''Matt:''' [[SarcasmMode I love role-playing games.]] |
| 694 | ** When Yasha brings up the idea of hiding a "golden dick", Caleb offers to transmute some of their gold coins into a solid golden dick statue. Jester declines the idea, saying she doesn't want to waste that much coin on something for a stranger... but if Caleb wants to make ''her'' a golden dick statue and hide it somewhere for her to find, she would love that. She does not seem to entirely comprehend how that could be interpreted. |
| 695 | --->'''Liam:''' Caleb totally just blue-screened. |
| 696 | * [[NotSoAboveItAll Not even Orly is above dissing Marius.]] |
| 697 | -->'''Orly:''' Look what we found. Marius, still alive... still pointless... |
| 698 | * Jester casts Speak With Plants to learn about the T-Rex the party is hunting. In contrast to the Sun Tree from the last campaign, this tree is given the voice of a mildly confused old man. |
| 699 | * During the T-Rex fight, Caleb Polymorphs into a T-Rex of his own. Matt doesn’t have a second T-Rex mini, so Caleb gets “a piece of shit crocodile”. |
| 700 | ** Liam then roleplays himself as a T-Rex, complete with growls and holding his arms close to his chest. At one point, he even thinks that Jester “looks delicious”. |
| 701 | * [[BlackComedy Beau ends up grappled and restrained in the T-Rex’s mouth. So when it roars, its mouth is partially closed, and the party can also hear Beau’s muffled screams.]] |
| 702 | ** Beau takes the whole thing about as seriously as you'd expect. |
| 703 | --->'''Beau:''' [[CallBack Yasha, are you watching?]]\ |
| 704 | '''Yasha:''' [[ShoutOut Clever girl]]... |
| 705 | * Honestly, just the way the team [[CurbStompBattle utterly fucks the T-Rex up]] throughout the fight. Despite it obviously being a huge potential threat, it only gets one solid bite in, which ''was'' a critical hit... That was nullified by Caduceus, and further reduced by a Ray of Enfeeblement. You can sense Matt's playful frustration as the party deals huge amounts of damage to it almost every turn, with the HDYWTDT being described as a comical slow-motion culmination of just how many things were damaging it at the time. |
| 706 | * Once the T-Rex dies, Caleb (who is still Polymorphed into a T-Rex) keeps stealing bites from the body. The rest of the Nein reprimand him in the same way you would reprimand a dog stealing from the kitchen counter. |
| 707 | -->'''Beau:''' Where is that even gonna go when you bamf back to Caleb?! |
| 708 | * Jester also turns into a T-Rex, and when they return to the village with their kill, the villagers freak out until Vilya calms them down. |
| 709 | ** She then attempts to dance as a T-Rex, but rolls a Performance check of 3. |
| 710 | --->'''Matt:''' In your head, it's a dance... |
| 711 | * Liam, via Caleb, alludes to Artagan’s strangling Vax to death in the previous campaign. Cue the Traveler getting nostalgic but electing to leave the story to another time. |
| 712 | -->'''Caleb''': You like to get your hands on life and just squeeze it for all it's worth.\ |
| 713 | '''The Traveler''': Oh continuously! In fact there was this one -- no, another time. |
| 714 | * Veth offers the gold the Nein had set aside for Vilya just before she leaves, but Vilya asks that it goes to one of the people staying and Veth promises to pass it along, only to renege instantly after she's gone and pretending to have no idea what money they're talking about. |
| 715 | [[/folder]] |
| 716 | |
| 717 | [[folder:Episode 108: Traveler Con]] |
| 718 | * Sam's sponsor skit for Petersen Games is a song performed as "Bob Matthews", the younger brother of [[Music/DaveMatthewsBand Dave Matthews]] which is interrupted by a call from "Dave" telling him to stop. |
| 719 | -->'''Taliesin:''' I don't know what that was. |
| 720 | ** The employee doing the Website/YouTube captions takes great glee in mocking Sam's [[TakeThat terrible impression and bad guitar playing.]] |
| 721 | ** Liam notes that the plaid shirt and guitar make Sam look like Joel from ''VideoGame/TheLastOfUs'' and asks him to act it out with Ashley. Unfortunately-- despite having ''worked on'' the game [[note]]Sam, and indeed the entire male cast of ''Critical Role'', are credited with providing additional voices in the first installment[[/note]]-- Sam has never played the game and doesn't know any of Joel's actual lines. Ashley tries to prompt him, but quickly starts trolling him instead. |
| 722 | --->'''Ashley:''' I don't like telling you, I just like hearing what you think it should be. |
| 723 | * Talks Machina is coming back! |
| 724 | -->'''Sam:''' Does Brian remember how to talk?\ |
| 725 | '''Ashley:''' No. It's been very awkward at home. |
| 726 | * Laura plugs the new Mighty Nein jigsaw puzzle, which is definitely very difficult. She hasn't done it, but she knows puzzles. Travis can only look back and forth nervously. |
| 727 | * Jester, Veth and Yasha attempt to convince PerpetualFrowner Caleb to do the wiggle with them. Surprisingly, they succeed. |
| 728 | * While Fjord, Beau and Caduceus talk about their worries about the Traveler Con, Caleb casually dances in and steals Fjord's drink. He doesn't care about what he was drinking, he only wants it to be alcoholic. |
| 729 | * The spinner on Sam's Flask had a few...interesting options. There was [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin "Take a sip"]], but also [[ComedicSociopathy "Punch Liam"]] and a few others ([[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext "STFU"]] and "Spin Again"). Naturally, the spinner lands on Punch Liam, and so he does with the help of his [[CallBack boxing-glove-on-a-stick.]] |
| 730 | ** The back has a bloody handprint and the words "Help Me." |
| 731 | * Caduceus and Jester try to Commune with the Moonweaver, but because neither of them actually worship the Moonweaver, they don't know how to set up a focusing circle for her specifically, so Caduceus just sets up his usual circle for communing with the Wildmother while Jester draws crescent moons in it. The end result, according to Matt is a bit like two teenagers with their first ouija board. |
| 732 | * Artagan reveals that he has a very hard time getting drunk on mortal alcohol, to his annoyance. |
| 733 | -->'''Jester:''' You looked drunk for like five seconds, and now you're sober again! |
| 734 | * Jester realizes that the moon cycle means that there won't be a moon for the Traveler Con ceremony. She and Artagan banter about that. |
| 735 | * Jester [[FaceDoodling draws a mustache and a monocle on Caduceus' face as he Communes]]. They are a little small on him. |
| 736 | * Caleb gets drunk on the rum, and makes Beau play bartender for him. Yasha gets in on it. This ends with Beau taking over as bartender, thanks to Veth. |
| 737 | ** Marisha makes a drink-shaking motion with two hands to mime mixing drinks. The chat immediately points out the gifs that will be made of it. |
| 738 | * Caleb tries to start a personal conversation at the bar. However, because of his general gloomy demeanor, he is misinterpreted in an amusing way. |
| 739 | -->'''Caleb:''' This might be our last night, it could be our second to last night, but it feels like this is coming to head.\ |
| 740 | '''Veth:''' Last night for what?\ |
| 741 | '''Yasha:''' Last night? Are we going to die? |
| 742 | * Having a private conversation does not work: |
| 743 | -->'''Beau:''' Wait, was this supposed to be a private conversation?\ |
| 744 | '''Veth:''' And if so, with which one of us? |
| 745 | * When Caleb and Beau are asking Yasha if she'll come with them to the Empire and stay with the Mighty Nein, Veth asks Yasha about if she was looking for something in particular during her [[CommutingOnABus absences from the group]] and her generally tossing and turning in her sleep... before segueing into (jokingly) suggesting that another explanation could be that Yasha's still secretly evil and has just been plotting to kill them all during this time. |
| 746 | -->'''Yasha:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Yes, that's exactly what it is.]] |
| 747 | * Beau takes her leave of Fjord with [[CallBack "And then I walk away."]] |
| 748 | * Most of the Nein are hung over from drinking the previous night. Ashley puts her jacket over her face to help simulate Yasha's condition. |
| 749 | * Matt rules that Yasha has advantage on her Performance roll, because basically everyone helped her. Her best result? A 5. |
| 750 | ** She goes for an encore ([[ShipTease at Beau's request, no less]]), and that result was 13. Matt rules that the crowd thought she was deliberately punking them. |
| 751 | * Veth introduces Jester but with a number of titles. The [[ThePrankster Princess of Pranks]], the Tycoon of Tricks, the Conquistador of Cocks. |
| 752 | * At the start of the evening's ceremonies, Veth calls her the Vanquisher of Veiny Cocks. |
| 753 | * Caleb uses his magic to enhance Jester's speech. A shlubby looking person standing next to his notices, and uses his own magic to help. He then turns to Caleb, and his eyes flash an unnatural green. Of course Artagan has to get in on the act. Again. |
| 754 | * As the Dick Hunt progresses, some of the wealthier followers buy dicks off of others. Meanwhile, others swap stories of the risks they took, and a number complain about the dinosaurs. |
| 755 | * Veth gets the golden dick from Celia, and stealthily puts a drop of sovereign glue onto it. Only a universal solvent or a Wish spell can unstick things that it binds. |
| 756 | * Celia, with the golden dick glued to her hand, begins running towards the point where everyone's been throwing their dicks into the fire. Beau goes to tackle her, rolls a Nat 20 and basically smashes her face-first into the rocks. Realizing her mistake, she tells Celia to go again, which sends Matt and Travis into absolute hysterics. |
| 757 | -->'''Beau:''' ''({{corpsing}})'' Okay, I might've misinterpreted your actions... okay, do your thing!\ |
| 758 | '''Matt:''' ''([[CryLaughing sobbing with laughter]])'' I'm so happy! [=TravelerCon=] is everything I wanted it to be! |
| 759 | ** The cherry on top here is that the prim, proper Celia now has to repeat the entire action with a halfway-hamburgered face, just for the dick to stay stuck to her hand after several attempts. Then Artagan claims it was a prank all along. |
| 760 | ** Both chat and the players all agreed that [[StartOfDarkness she's probably going to come back as a villain]] with a phallic-themed villain name. |
| 761 | * The party is pondering on the future of Artagan and Jester's relationship after those events: |
| 762 | -->'''Caleb:''' You guys have always made a good team.\ |
| 763 | '''Jester:''' Yeah... Hey! Maybe he can become a member of the Mighty Nein with us!\ |
| 764 | '''The rest of the party:''' ''(Incoherent mumbling of dismissive refusal)''\ |
| 765 | ({{Beat}})\ |
| 766 | '''Veth:''' [[BrutalHonesty We don't like your friend.]] |
| 767 | * Jester asks Artagan if he can teach her how to talk through her illusory duplicate. Artagan tells her he will... in time. Veth immediately bristles and puts on her best angry mom voice. |
| 768 | -->'''Veth:''' In time?! She just saved you from a fucking ''god'', give it to her now! |
| 769 | * Beau threatens to kill Artagan if he does anything to Jester. Artagan, a powerful Archfey, starts to bristle indignantly... before deflating and admits that yeah, she'd probably be perfectly capable of doing that. |
| 770 | * The Nein tease Artagan about his flamboyance during Traveler Con, comparing the performance to a show in a theatre. [[CallBack He storms off in a huff.]] |
| 771 | * As they leave Vo, Beau has them name the new bar after her. After a few false starts, it gets named "The Fuckin' Beaure-bar." |
| 772 | [[/folder]] |
| 773 | |
| 774 | [[folder:Episode 109: Frigid Propositions]] |
| 775 | * Sam spends his entire sponsor spot talking about Music/{{BTS}} while Matt desperately tries to get him to talk about their ''actual'' sponsor, gaming company Hit Point Press. |
| 776 | * At the top of the episode, Brian comes out and goes into more detail about the return of Critical Role's [[BlatantLies flagship show]], Talks Machina. His hair has grown over the quarantine, and the cast jokes that he looks like Steve from ''Series/StrangerThings''. |
| 777 | -->'''Travis:''' Don't worry, Laura looks at me like that when I get that close to her too.\ |
| 778 | '''Marisha:''' Get back in your cage now, Brian. |
| 779 | * The Nein have to use residuum to make up the excess emerald dust Yasha needs for her magical tattoo. Laura tries to bargain Matt into ruling that the large emerald they had was just enough to cover the cost. |
| 780 | -->'''Liam:''' Hello, Vex! |
| 781 | * Caleb needs to buy paper. He wants to buy 100 platinum worth, making Laura choke. Matt rules that he only buys 700 gold worth. He'll need to go elsewhere to buy the rest. |
| 782 | -->'''Travis (laughing):''' There's no more paper on the Menagerie Coast! |
| 783 | * When Beau makes her purchases from Sheila (ball-bearings and a ''lot'' of fireworks), she gives her name as Beauregard, Pirate Beauregard. |
| 784 | -->'''Sheila:''' Your parents had a plan for you! |
| 785 | ** Beau's fireworks are noticed by the local constabulary, who tail her. She gets Carlos, the doorman at the Lavish Chateau, to cover for her... before she tells him what she has. |
| 786 | --->'''Carlos:''' So now I'm a conspirator. *sigh* Just keep them away from the lantern oil. |
| 787 | * Veth, after having acquired thousands of gold and platinum a few episodes ago, buys toys for Luc and matching family outfits for the Brenattos. The whole thing costs 2 and a half gold. She tips a copper. |
| 788 | -->'''Matt:''' How Sam Riegel of you! |
| 789 | * Jester reunites with her mom. Being Jester, she tries to make it a surprise. It doesn't quite work out, but she has her mother pretend to be surprised anyway. |
| 790 | * Fjord and Yasha go shopping. They eventually decide to get a ring of fire resistance, priced at 5000 gold. |
| 791 | -->'''Laura:''' ''Five thousand gold?!?''\ |
| 792 | '''Travis:''' Well, what if we go to Hell, or something? |
| 793 | ** After some more discussion, they decide not to get it. |
| 794 | --->'''Fjord:''' [[TemptingFate We're not going to go anywhere with fire, right?]] |
| 795 | ** They ''did'' get alchemical fire and healing potions. And Beau got fireworks. Oh, ''no.'' |
| 796 | * Veth reunites with her family. She surprises Yeza with a kiss, and Luc surprises her with a crossbow bolt by her head. Crosses over with Heartwarming. |
| 797 | ** It turns out that the matching outfits she got were yellow overalls. |
| 798 | --->'''Marisha:''' Are you Minions? |
| 799 | * After the performance at the Chateau, Fjord sneaks back to the shop and buys the ring. |
| 800 | -->'''Laura:''' Oh, ''no!'' |
| 801 | ** It turns out that the ring was commissioned by Lord Diedric Sutan, who never did come back for it. That's because the Nein framed him to cover for their dealings with Dayana Prucine way back in Zadash. |
| 802 | ** The ring makes Fjord heat up at first, but he cools off quickly. Matt says that he has never felt this comfortable in Nicodranas. |
| 803 | --->'''Taliesin:''' It's like a goth ring. You can wear whatever you want in 110 degree heat. |
| 804 | * Beau tells the Nein about the fireworks the following morning. |
| 805 | -->'''Fjord:''' Suddenly I feel a ''lot'' better about my purchase! |
| 806 | * Caleb gets Jester and Veth to get him little items from their homes, which are necessary to make sure they can go back with a Teleport spell. He gets a little turtle carving from Jester. From Veth, he gets one of Yeza's thongs. As in underwear. The ''look'' on Matt's face was something to behold. |
| 807 | * Caleb makes sure that Jester sends a message to Archivist Cathadoc at the Rexxentrum Archive. They note that they're two for two so far in terms of giving notice. The cast marvels at their CharacterDevelopment. |
| 808 | * Jester tells Beau that she's glad Beau is an Expositor. |
| 809 | -->'''Jester:''' You'd be wasted behind a lot of books. [[VerbalBackspace Not that there's anything wrong with books, Caleb.]] |
| 810 | -->'''Caleb:''' You're on thin ice, Lavorre. |
| 811 | * There is one seller of magical items not under the control of the Assembly: Thaydeen's Endless Emporium of Enchanted Eccenricities. Fjord is regretful. |
| 812 | -->'''Fjord:''' Why did I get this ring? We've just headed into Costco! |
| 813 | ** As Travis goes on about spending so much of his money on the ring, Ashley (in character as Yasha) points out a coin that has Fjord's name on it. Travis starts groaning about [[NoodleIncident not bringing up what happened at RenFaire,]] while the cast bursts out laughing again. Some more quickly than others. |
| 814 | --->'''Taliesin:''' Took me a minute to get there, but I got there.\ |
| 815 | '''Matt:''' Well done.\ |
| 816 | '''Travis:''' I haven't been drinking nearly enough.\ |
| 817 | '''Liam:''' Dragged, dragged. |
| 818 | * Thaydeen herself is quite a character: a massive, enthusiastic Goliath woman who speaks in a '''thick''', ambiguously Kiwi/Ocker accent and sells a strange assortment of knick-knacks and novelties, including [[InherentlyFunnyWords "oopstones", "chuckle dust", and "cellobones"]]. The Nein ''clean out'' her inventory, joking they just wandered into a magical Spencer's Gifts. |
| 819 | * While roleplaying Thaydeen, Matt accidentally makes a certain hand gesture. Laura's face lights up. |
| 820 | -->'''Matt:''' Don't you ''dare'', Laura. |
| 821 | ** It ends up being ''Sam'' who inquires, incredulously, "Is it an invisible dildo??" Matt facepalms, and gives the rest of the cast the finger as they laugh. |
| 822 | * Thanks to other purchases and a great Persuasion roll, Jester is able to get everything ''and'' a ring of spell splitting for 5000 gold. The same as the ring of fire resistance. Travis notices this. |
| 823 | -->'''Travis (muttering):''' There's that [[PrecisionFStrike fuckin']] number again. |
| 824 | * Jester gets the first use of one of the Oopstones in the dance hall. Oopstones cause a noxious odour. It drives most of the patrons away and nearly causes a fight to break out, with Matt narrating that the dance hall's patrons start loudly cursing at each other in both Common [[ForeignLanguageTirade and Zemnian]]. |
| 825 | -->'''Fjord:''' Jester, was that a gift from Thaydeen's or should I be ''really'' impressed? |
| 826 | ** Caduceus and Yasha, seated on the edge of the dance floor, notice the smell. |
| 827 | --->'''Yasha:''' That smells like a massive shit. \ |
| 828 | '''Sam:''' (pretending to be a waitress) Welcomes to Fuddruckers, can I take your order? |
| 829 | ** Due to Tongue of the Sun and Moon, Beau can understand ''all'' the curses. |
| 830 | * [=DeRogna=] tells them about Eiselcross, a frozen wasteland. Fjord asks about fire. The cast erupts into laughter. |
| 831 | -->'''Liam:''' Oh, that buyer's remorse! |
| 832 | ** It turns out that they will need to go past a river of lava to get to their target. Travis is visibly vindicated. |
| 833 | * At the very end of their meeting with [=DeRogna=], Jester asks if she can take some cookies with her. The host says to be her guest. Laura then pantomimes Jester lifting up two entire plates and upending them into her haversack. |
| 834 | * Because COVID restrictions prevent Matt from handing players things over the table, he snuck Trent's letter to Caleb into the back of Liam's binder before the show. After the letter is read, Sam immediately checks the back of his own binder to see if Matt snuck any secrets in there too. He finds... a sign with the [=D&DBeyond=] logo. |
| 835 | -->'''Sam:''' He's an AD WIZARD! |
| 836 | [[/folder]] |
| 837 | |
| 838 | [[folder:Episode 110: Dinner with the Devil]] |
| 839 | * [=BlackWillow69@AOL.com=] strikes again, and it seems he and Cryptonic Override lost their 1337 h4x0r powers! They are restored, but at the cost of all of [[HeroicSacrifice Freezer Burn's 1337 h4x0r powers.]] |
| 840 | -->'''Taliesin:''' Are those calculators on your arms? |
| 841 | * Caleb talks about Trent, and Jester gives her opinion. |
| 842 | -->'''Caleb:''' My old teacher is--\ |
| 843 | '''Jester:''' [[BrutalHonesty A douche?]] |
| 844 | * Sam gives his input on where the party should go. Laura has to remind him that [[ContinuityNod Veth is in Nicodranas.]] |
| 845 | * Beauregard gets [[TheComicallySerious Caleb]] to say that 'the Mighty Nein is dope'. |
| 846 | * Caleb tells the Nein that they'll have to dress for dinner. The Nein have Opinions about that. |
| 847 | -->'''Caduceus:''' The urge to show up in the Dynasty's finest is almost overpowering. |
| 848 | * The Nein talk about Nugget. |
| 849 | -->'''Fjord:''' How do Sprinkle and Nugget get along?\ |
| 850 | '''Sam:''' [[BlackComedy Well, one's alive, so...]] |
| 851 | ** With some prompting, Matt rules that Nugget divides him time between the Chateau and the Brenatto home. With prompting, he shifts into Yeza and talks about how Nugget only goes to their place [[ToiletHumor to poop.]] |
| 852 | * The Nein invades the Brenatto home. Emphasis on ''invade.'' |
| 853 | -->'''Beau:''' We'll break down her door, eat all their food, smash all their dishes, it'll be great. |
| 854 | ** Yasha instinctively puts Luc on her shoulders. The top of his head almost scrapes the ceiling, but he loves it. |
| 855 | * Veth asks about what happened in the few hours since they left. |
| 856 | -->'''Veth:''' Tell me everything that happened ''in order.''\ |
| 857 | '''Marisha:''' [[ExpositionCut And we do.]] |
| 858 | * Caduceus helps Yeza cook, but he's seven feet tall and the Brenattos' apartment is sized for halflings. He ends up having to sit down on the floor in front of the kitchen counter to be able to use it somewhat comfortably. |
| 859 | * Yeza discovers that Veth's stories about Rumblecusp were literal. He is shocked, but Luc is awestruck. |
| 860 | -->'''Luc:''' That's so cool! |
| 861 | ** They then talk about [=TravelerCon=]. Penises included. Luc is thrilled, but Yeza is horrified. |
| 862 | --->'''Luc:''' [[ChildrenAreInnocent Dad, what's a penis?]] |
| 863 | ** The Nein (and the cast, ''including Sam''!), discover that Luc (who they gave a crossbow, and were trying to give bottle rockets) is in fact ''four years old.'' |
| 864 | --->'''Laura:''' Four? I thought he was six! Now I feel really bad!\ |
| 865 | '''Ashley:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Also, your four-year-old should know what his penis is.]]\ |
| 866 | '''Sam:''' We don't use medical terms around him! |
| 867 | * Jester's bedroom has drawings on the walls that get better the further up the wall they are located. Yasha observes that this means that Jester got better at drawing as she got taller. |
| 868 | -->'''Yasha:''' As you got taller, your art got better.\ |
| 869 | '''Jester:''' Yeah! You know, I think talent comes with height.\ |
| 870 | '''[[GentleGiant Yasha]]:''' You have a point. I must be very talented, then. |
| 871 | * Jester has Caleb lie down on her bed so that he can see the painting of the Nicodranas skyline she did on the bed's canopy. As he does, Nugget teleports onto the bed... [[ToiletHumor and pees on it. Right beside Caleb.]] |
| 872 | -->'''Caleb:''' ...This, I'm familiar with. |
| 873 | ** Beau tells Caduceus to magic away the dog pee. Caduceus, who does not know Prestidigitation, just makes all of the windows slam shut with Thaumaturgy in a "what the hell do you want from me?" type gesture. He immediately re-opens all of them once Jester starts complaining about the smell. |
| 874 | ** Fjord offers to clean it up using ''Eldritch Blast''. |
| 875 | * Caleb remarks on how lucky they are to have two clerics. This leads to a discussion about how [[SelfDeprecation some parties]] don't even have one cleric. Then they talk about healing. |
| 876 | -->'''Matt:''' And one of them will heal you!\ |
| 877 | '''Laura:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Fuck you.]]\ |
| 878 | '''Taliesin:''' ''(Laughing)'' That's rough, buddy. |
| 879 | * The Nein are ''very fond'' of the breakfast buffet at the Lavish Chateau. |
| 880 | -->'''Veth:''' Have you tried the bottomless French Toast?\ |
| 881 | '''Yasha:''' I get up and go back for another trip. |
| 882 | * Marisha rolls a natural 20 ...on a check if she sees Professor Thaddeus. |
| 883 | -->'''Beau:''' (Walking towards the teleportation circle) [[CurseCutShort Son of a b-]] ''(Teleports to Rexxentrum.)'' |
| 884 | * Jester gives an elaborate description of the exact outfit she wants to wear to Eiselcross. The horrified, fascinated shopkeeper eventually tells her that he can get that to her within a week for 120 gold. She gives him 500, in exchange for extra embroidery on the outfit. The shopkeeper had been disgruntled, but was now giddy. |
| 885 | ** The best part is that, [[LampshadeHanging As Laura herself points out]], Jester's natural Cold Resistance means she ''doesn't'' need the outfit, she just wants to be fashinable. |
| 886 | -->'''Taliesin:''' There's a tailor in the back screaming "Nine women can't make a baby in a month!" |
| 887 | ** Veth wants a pink Lolita dress with white fur trim and accessories. She also gets little antlers, because she saw [[ContinuityNod an adorable redhead who has them.]] |
| 888 | ** All the Nein give elaborate descriptions of what they want except Beau, who gets gear from the Cobalt Soul, and Fjord... who just gets a new coat. For 5 gold. |
| 889 | * The Nein play a little game with Eodwulf. Veth takes the first seat he went for, Yasha takes the second, and Caduceus goes for the third... only to hold it out for him. |
| 890 | * Eodwulf makes a racially insensitive comment towards Caduceus, who either doesn't get it, or makes masterful use of ObfuscatingStupidity. |
| 891 | -->'''Eodwulf:''' ''(half-grinning; to Caduceus)'' And you, what are you?\ |
| 892 | '''Caduceus:''' Vegetarian, so I hope the meal reflects that. |
| 893 | * Trent asks why Vess [=DeRogna=] has contacted them. The Nein are evasive, and Jester finally offers a reason. |
| 894 | -->'''Jester:''' I think the offer is of an... intimate nature. We ''are'' very attractive. |
| 895 | ** Taliesin tries to persude Matt to give her advantage on her Deception check because they ''are'' very attractive. Matt doesn't go for it. |
| 896 | * Jester is very impressed by Astrid's glamors. Beau... concurs. |
| 897 | -->'''Beau:''' ''(Whispering)'' That's why her tits look so amazing! ''(She gesticulates and winks.)''\ |
| 898 | '''Laura:''' [[HeelRealization We are such assholes.]] |
| 899 | * Jester notices that Beau hasn't touched her steak, and persuades her to try some. Beau immediately concludes that it's the best steak she's ever had, and the two of them start scarfing down as much as they can before they get kicked out. |
| 900 | * There's something a little funny about Trent's response to Caduceus's TheReasonYouSuckSpeech, which is to wish the Nein good night and teleport away immediately. After a whole evening of playing mind games with the Nein, as soon as one of them pushed back he ran out sulking like a child. |
| 901 | * While escorting the Nein off the grounds, Eodwulf produces a bottle of fine brandy out of a [[{{Hammerspace}} Wristpocket]] with a spell before passing it around to Astrid and Caleb. It's presented as a somewhat humanizing callback to old times, but then the FridgeLogic kicks in that Eodwulf-- a very dangerous, highly trained wizard-assassin-- casually dedicates ''a second-level spell requiring Concentration'' to [[TheAlcoholic keeping a bottle of booze on his person, presumably at all times.]] |
| 902 | * As the Nein are leaving the tower, they hear an owl hoot. [[TheLadette Beauregard]] immediately [[{{Pun}} flips the bird]], in the hopes it finds Professor Thaddeus. |
| 903 | ** Veth seriously weighs the pros and cons of shooting at the owl, despite being in a wealthy district of Rexxentrum that's populated by ''many'' powerful magic-users. |
| 904 | * Once the Nein are alone again after the dinner: |
| 905 | -->'''Beau:''' Why do we spend so much time around manipulative assholes?\ |
| 906 | '''Caleb:''' Well, we spend a lot of time around people in government.\ |
| 907 | ''(Entire cast loses it.)''\ |
| 908 | '''Taliesin:''' That's the best thing you've ever said. |
| 909 | * Caleb leads the Nein to a not-very-good inn, where he requests nine rooms. One has to have a closet. The innkeeper calls her husband to empty out a closet and bring it up. The accents used are very Monty Python-esque. |
| 910 | [[/folder]] |
| 911 | |
| 912 | [[folder: Episode 111: New Homes and Old Friends]] |
| 913 | * For the episode plug for [=SkillShare=], instead of [[CloudCuckoolander Sam doing Sam things]], we get [[BadBadActing Travis doing a stereotypical French accent as badly as he possibly can]]...''with'' Sam [[FunnyBackgroundEvent dressed as a mime doing various acts]], too. |
| 914 | * Sam Riegel also has [[RunningGag yet another shirt involving Matt making a face]]. This one is from Ashley's episode of Narrative Telephone, where the cast members with hair long enough wore their hair in Pike's fun buns... like Matt did. |
| 915 | * Yasha's room includes a terrarium of bugs for viewing pleasure... or for a snack. Yasha promptly eats one. |
| 916 | ** Later, when the group all eat dinner in the tower, Yasha takes some of the bugs she stored in her pockets, breaks their legs off, and sprinkles the bug legs on the pancakes. |
| 917 | ** Some of the others also try some bugs out of curiosity due to how much Yasha enjoys eating them. Unfortunately, the one Caleb tries [[{{Squick}} isn't quite dead and wriggles a little in his mouth...]] |
| 918 | * Jester is in awe of Widogast's Nascent Nine-Sided Tower, but not so much that she has lost her priorities. |
| 919 | -->'''Jester:''' Just think of all the dicks I can draw! |
| 920 | * Travis asks how long Caleb has been working on this. This is the answer. Doubles as Awesome. |
| 921 | -->'''Caleb:''' Me or Liam? |
| 922 | * [[TheComicallySerious Caleb]] makes a joke about Jester's room. |
| 923 | -->'''Caleb:''' That's where the bodies are stored. |
| 924 | ** This moment, [[HilariousInHindsight hilariously]], becomes HarsherInHindsight just a few episodes later. |
| 925 | * Caleb put a mirror in the top of Beau's canopy bed. Beau ''likes'' that... and she's not the only one. |
| 926 | -->'''Yasha (glancing up):''' [[ShipTease That's going to be useful.]] |
| 927 | * Fjord and Jester's curiosity reveals that the Tower's servants are all cats of varying sizes. The chat made [[WesternAnimation/{{Ratatouille}} Catatouille]] jokes. |
| 928 | ** Fjord asks if [[Film/{{CATS}} the cats have buttholes]]. |
| 929 | --->'''Caduceus:''' How else would they play the tuba? |
| 930 | * Jester, curious about the inner workings of the Tower, polymorphs herself into a cat to explore further. She gets herself stuck on a high ledge. She is saved by the tower's servants, who make a large cat-pile for her to cushion their fall. |
| 931 | * After Liam is done explaining and everyone settles down for the night: |
| 932 | -->'''Matt:''' Well, that's the easiest hour I've ever had to Dungeon Master. |
| 933 | * After Beauregard does some research at the Zadash Cobalt Soul, she comes up with some avenues of speculation about what precisely Mollymauk - or rather, Lucien Nonagon - was involved with before dying and losing his memory. She tears a page about the Tomb Takers out of a book; [[BadassBookworm Caleb]] goes silent for about 30 seconds with his eye twitching at this casual abuse of a perfectly good book, that he could've memorized anyways (and had the relevant passage appear in his Tower, since its contents are based on his eidetic memory). |
| 934 | * At long last, Pumat Sol returns! He gets to meet Yeza and Luc, and they get on like a house on fire, guessing immediately, with only basic observations, that Yeza is an Alchemist, and even goes so far as to attempt to start up a direct business relationship, in his usual, chill Canuck way. |
| 935 | ** Luc is awed by the Invulnerable Vagrant, and Jester has to hold onto him so that he can see everything, including [[MesACrowd the Pumats]]. |
| 936 | * Fjord buys an Ioun Stone from Pumat, triggering the following exchange. |
| 937 | -->'''Fjord:''' I don't spend a lot of my money.\ |
| 938 | '''Jester:''' Oh. [[InnocentlyInsensitive I spend mine on diamonds to save people's lives.]] |
| 939 | ** Pumat sells the Brenattos a ring that creates tops. The cast wastes no time in calling it a fidget spinner. |
| 940 | * The following exchange which occurs when the Nein discussing using Speak With Dead on Mollymauk? |
| 941 | -->'''Beau:''' Which one will we get? Mollymauk or Lucien?\ |
| 942 | '''Caleb:''' We don't know. That's why we have to find out.\ |
| 943 | '''Travis:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice We could get User 1, User 2, or the Admin profile.]] |
| 944 | * Crosses over with awesome: When [[GeniusBruiser Beauregard]] finally gets to share her research and analysis on the Eyes of Nine with the entire group ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLpoqeWIZWc seen here]]), the cast all make jokes about [[StringTheory complicated cork boards]] and Beau having devolved into a ConspiracyTheorist...but the Nein and their actors all agree that Marisha/Beau tying everything together is not only valuable, but a reason to go check on Molly's grave. |
| 945 | ** The simple fact that, of all people, ''Matt'' pulls up the memetic image of Creator/CharlieDay & his conspiracy board from ''Series/ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia'' on his phone & silently shows it to Travis as Marisha[=/=]Beau delves into her conspiracy theory. |
| 946 | * As Matt describes Jester's vision of a purple-skinned tiefling trudging through the northern snows with a grin and look of determination, all the cast is bubbling over with excitement. |
| 947 | -->'''Marisha:''' No-please-don't, don't-don't-don't-\ |
| 948 | '''Matt:''' -And that's where we're gonna end tonight's episode.\ |
| 949 | '''Entire Cast:''' Noooooooooooooooo!!!\ |
| 950 | '''Travis:''' You can't do that!!!\ |
| 951 | '''Matt:''' I can and I just did. |
| 952 | ** Taliesin -- who was most likely told this would happen in advance -- leans back into his chair and watches the others freak out, clearly loving every second of it. |
| 953 | [[/folder]] |
| 954 | |
| 955 | [[folder:Episode 112: The Chase Begins]] |
| 956 | * For the sponsor plug Sam does a ''Film/ThePrincessBride'' inspired bit with himself as Vizzini and Liam as the Man in Black, reenacting the goblet scene. Instead of iocane powder, one of the glasses they drink from has been tainted from [[ItMakesSenseInContext the residue from Sam's flask.]] |
| 957 | ** Liam makes a nod to ''Film/RobinHoodMenInTights'', with his mustache constantly changing position. |
| 958 | ** At the end, Matt forgets to thank the sponsor, but Sam has supplied Matt with a Sam doll to do it for him. Matt squeezes it repeatedly to see what it says, until... |
| 959 | --->'''Doll:''' [[CreepyDoll Must kill Matthew Mercer!]]\ |
| 960 | '''Matt:''' [[GenreSavvy ...And we're putting that away now!]] |
| 961 | * The Nein talk about the revelation of Molly's rebirth, and look through the coat to see if a reply note was left. They start talking about how Molly's coat is just like the new hooded Vax cloak they are selling in their store. |
| 962 | * Jester talks to the plants growing around Molly's grave, and Matt's plant voice is once again on point. |
| 963 | -->'''Jester:''' My name's Jester.\ |
| 964 | '''Crabgrass:''' ...I don't have a name...can I have a name?\ |
| 965 | '''Jester:''' ...Henry!\ |
| 966 | '''Henry:''' I'm Henry. [[SpeciesSurname Henry Crabgrass!]] |
| 967 | ** Henry turns out to be surprisingly smart for grass. Even Matt surprises himself with how much Henry knows! |
| 968 | ** The RunningGag of the Henry asking "consent, please!" when anyone tries to pet it. |
| 969 | ** Jester asks if grass feels pain when people walk on it. This leads to a comment on whether vegetarians are the true predators. |
| 970 | --->'''Caduceus:''' I'm right here. |
| 971 | ** Fjord asks if the grass is bothering Jester and offers to draw his sword if it's being mean to her. When she starts talking to Henry again Travis mimes stabbing the ground as she talks. |
| 972 | * The Nein talk about whether or not Vess deRogna involved the Tomb Takers this time around. They conclude that she probably didn't, so they themselves are technically Vess' new Tomb Takers. They discuss possible names for themselves. |
| 973 | -->'''Veth:''' The Take Two-mbers? |
| 974 | * The Nein go for cocoa, warm pretzels, and mulled wine before their meeting with Vess. Matt rules that the whole thing costs 1 and a half gold pieces. The price gets him talked into ruling that they get to keep the steins, with names engraved and everything. |
| 975 | * Veth suggests paying more to have their cold-weather gear sped up, but Jester's is so complex that it seems unlikely to be possible. |
| 976 | -->'''Fjord:''' Maybe they could give you something in the interim, like warm clothing until the ''really'' nice-\ |
| 977 | '''Jester''': (''whining'') ''Fjooord'', how am I going to get the really nice stuff while we're all the way up north? I want my pretty things that I ordered!\ |
| 978 | '''Fjord:''' You could come back fo-\ |
| 979 | '''Jester:''' '''FJORD'''!\ |
| 980 | '''Fjord:''' I feel like I'm learning something new.\ |
| 981 | '''Liam:''' Travis, I don't really think you are!\ |
| 982 | '''Travis:''' (''shaking his head'') No I'm not. |
| 983 | ** As Veth suggests just throwing more money at the problem, Caduceus repeats the addage from the previous episode that "nine women can't make a baby in a month." When Jester goes to pay the extra fee, Veth asks if she can throw in a few more gold so they can [[ComicallyMissingThePoint hire nine pregnant women]]. |
| 984 | * Travis [[FreudianSlip accidentally refers to Caduceus as Molly]], prompting him to curse in frustration. When Caduceus suggests picking up their armor and leaving immediately, Veth butts in. |
| 985 | -->'''Veth:''' Excellent thinking, Percival. |
| 986 | * The Nein discuss how they are going to handle talking to Vess. |
| 987 | -->'''Veth:''' Well, Caduceus is with us, so [[TakeThat we'll be honest, I guess.]] |
| 988 | * Vess' lobby looks different from last time. Fjord investigates the new painting, and slaps at something that turns out to be an imp. It flies off, pissed. |
| 989 | -->'''Fjord:''' That was my fault.\ |
| 990 | '''Beau:''' Please slap all the paintings we come across.\ |
| 991 | '''Matt:''' Thus begins Fjord's one-man war against all forms of artistic expression. |
| 992 | * Veth asks Vess about Molly's accent (Irish, [[OohMeAccentsSlipping but slowly slipping into American over time]]), prompting the entire cast to poke fun at it. |
| 993 | -->'''Taliesin:''' That's right, get it all out now.\ |
| 994 | '''Liam:''' Hello, Taliesin, we're your friends. [[WithFriendsLikeThese Have you met us?]] |
| 995 | * It turns out that the show that the Nein sent Yeza and Luc to watch is a somewhat a burlesque show. Luc is four. Beau is intrigued, and stays to take in the show when everybody else goes to bed. Beau, being Beau, tosses silver coins onto the stage... and tries to bounce them off the asses of the performers. |
| 996 | * After their talk with Vess, Jester takes a moment to check in with Yasha about how she's handling everything. After, [[ShipperOnDeck Jester not-too-subtly tries to get Yasha to share a bed with Beau.]] |
| 997 | ** This leads Jester to try and help Yasha get together with Beau, in her very Jester-way. They settle on getting Yasha to write poetry for Beau. |
| 998 | --->'''Jester:''' "Oh, Beau, Beau, Beau" is probably how it starts.\ |
| 999 | '''Yasha:''' Yeah, I like that start. ''(writing it down)'' "Oh, Beau, Beau, Beau... Eyes so blue and hair so shorn on the sides."\ |
| 1000 | '''Jester:''' Yeah, that's good, that's good! "Abs so many."\ |
| 1001 | '''Yasha:''' She has so many abs, so many of them. ''(writes that line down)''\ |
| 1002 | '''Jester:''' "But frame so small."\ |
| 1003 | '''Yasha:''' ''(while jotting that line down)'' Yeah, she's so small.\ |
| 1004 | '''Jester:''' Oh, oh, oh, I got a really good one! "How I wish to envelop you with my wings." ''(Yasha writes this down)'' We're really good writers.\ |
| 1005 | '''Yasha:''' I really think this is really good. Like, maybe we should make a poetry book full of love poems!\ |
| 1006 | '''Jester:''' And maybe we could sell it at Chastity's Nook! |
| 1007 | ** Hilariously, during all of this, Marisha is writhing in her chair, covering her face with her notebook and laughing so hard she's silent. |
| 1008 | ** After the show, Beau tipsily stumbles back into the room, setting off a cute and [[TwiceShy incredibly awkward]] conversation with Beau while Jester pretends to be asleep. As the conversation ends... |
| 1009 | --->'''Beau:''' Goodnight, Jester.\ |
| 1010 | '''Jester:''' [[WithCatlikeTread Goodnight!]] |
| 1011 | *** Ashley lampshades Yasha's absolute awkwardness in the conversation: |
| 1012 | ---->'''Ashley:''' 7 Charisma! |
| 1013 | * The Nein ask Yeza about his work with Vess. Naturally, the conversation eventually turns to... [[RunningGag The Chair.]] |
| 1014 | -->'''Veth:''' Please don't psychologically torture my husband. |
| 1015 | * Jester sits beside Caleb sketching a cup of cocoa. There are two little marshmallows in it. [[ShipperOnDeck One has wings, the other has a staff.]] |
| 1016 | * During the final battle a couple of funny moments happen: |
| 1017 | ** As the chuuls managed to attack, they grapple both Beau and Yasha. Veth casts ''Hypnotic Pattern'' to incapacitate them, forcing the chuuls, Beau and Yasha to roll for a wisdom saving throw. Of all the creatures involved [[DarkHorseVictory Yasha]] is the only one who succeeds [[BeyondTheImpossible in spite of her negative wisdom modifier]], while [[NoSell Beau]] fails with a [[CriticalFailure Natural 1]] and no possibility to use a Monk action to deny it because [[WorfHadTheFlu she is incapacitated]], therefore forcing Caleb to use his turn to dispel the effect on Beau. |
| 1018 | --->'''Sam:''' Literally everything that happens to you, you're like, "Monk, I can undo it," [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe except for]] ''[[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe this]]''?!\ |
| 1019 | '''Marisha (as a hypnotized Beau):''' Buttons are pretty! |
| 1020 | ** The party reacts with shock when Uk'otoa's deep scion dispels the Vault of Amber and spills its contents on the deck of the ship. Then Liam reminds them all of [[ChekhovsGun what]] it was contained in the amber. |
| 1021 | --->'''Liam:''' It's got the [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] Cloven Crystal... ''and a shit ton of [[LethalJokeItem fireworks]]!''\ |
| 1022 | ''The cast cheers and laughs'' |
| 1023 | ** The next episode reveals Matt was just waiting for a single errant Fireball from Caleb during the whole combat. |
| 1024 | --->'''Liam:''' If things went really bad, I was just gonna do a fire cantrip. |
| 1025 | * Sam won't let the episode end without one of his [[BlatantLies trademark insightful comments.]] |
| 1026 | -->'''Sam:''' That game was a [[{{Pun}} Sam dunk.]]\ |
| 1027 | '''Matt:''' ''(Sigh)'' Goddammit, Sam. |
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