Line #225 Funny/PuppetHistory


1	'''As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff as per policy.]] Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
2
3	[[foldercontrol]]
4	[[folder:Season 1]]
5	!!Life During the Black Death Pandemic
6	* Ryan and Steven are immediately distracted by the Professor’s adorable outfit (Shane even said that he basically recycled an [[Literature/AmericanGirlsCollection American Girl]] doll outfit).
7	* Ryan and Steven finding out that the Professor puppet keeps jellybeans in his satchel and both going up for one.
8	* Shane’s attempt at a Brooklyn-accented mouse [[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent is not great]], and Ryan and Steven drag him.
9	* While the Professor is in the middle of a ghoulish story about how skeletal the plague victims looked, Steven [[NonSequitur exclaims out of nowhere]] that the Professor looks like “blue [[Series/SesameStreet Elmo]].” The Professor and Ryan are both amazed at how thoroughly this derails the skit.
10	** When Steven amends his statement to the Professor being "blue Grover", and the Professor angrily points out that "''Grover'' is blue Grover, you idiot!"
11	* Pneumatic bank tubes come up at one point, leading to the Professor and Ryan arguing about what noise they make - by repeatedly making "thunk" and "doonk" noises at each other while Steven stares flatly into the camera.
12	* At Steven's request, the Professor improvises a cutaway scene about how London's streets were filled with human excrement.
13	--->'''Paper Cutout of an old man''' "Wow, what a lovely day." ''(fart sound as he takes a single step)'' "Oops, I stepped in some poop!" ''(slow zoom on the old man's face as sad saxophone music plays)''
14
15	!!Stealing the World's Most Expensive Necklace
16	* Kate and the Professor both completely lose it when Ryan attempts to explain how he mistook the phrase "seating chart" for "''seeding'' chart."
17	** Also, when Ryan is explaining himself and The Professor is pointing out how crazy that sounds, Ryan hits back with:
18	--->'''Ryan:''' YOU SAID 'GENITAL ORIGAMI'!
19	* Katie's reaction to seeing the Diamond Necklace of the title getting ready to sing a song is a moment of pure joy, in ''direct'' contrast to Ryan's deadpan disapproval.
20	* When Jeanne first pops up, Kate notices that it looks like ''[[WardrobeMalfunction her boob is almost out.]]'' Cut to The Professor staring at Jeanne and saying:
21	--->'''The Professor:''' There's no nipple! For the record.
22	--->'''Ryan:''' Don't look at it, man!
23	--->'''Kate:''' I just wanna loop this puppet saying 'nipple!'
24
25	!!Surviving the Titanic: History's Luckiest Woman
26	* Ryan reveals that The Professor ''loves'' lazy rivers to the point where he wants to ''[[SurprisinglyCreepyMoment die]]'' in one.
27	-->'''Ryan:''' If he doesn't end his life facedown in a lazy river in Boca Raton, he didn't live a life worth living.\
28	'''The Professor:''' It's how I wanna go! Just imagine me floatin'.
29	* When guessing the names of the three White Star ships Violet worked at, Ryan guesses "Bruce, Robin, and Alfred" and as he's explaining to Jenny, their voices fade out and crickets sound as the camera cuts to the Professor and we can hear his internal thoughts.
30	-->'''The Professor:''' Just what in the hell kind of answer was that? Is this a game to you, Bergara?
31	* Shane's skit on Violet's experience with Americans on the Titanic with Violet and an Amercian (which is from the previous skit from French in the 1700s which Shane makes fun of.
32	--->'''Violet:''' Can I help you with anything, ma'am? I love your fashionable twentieth-century American clothing and that you're not a reused puppet from another episode.
33	--->'''American Passenger:''' Oh, thank you. Yes...
34	Then a brief interuption from Shane because his computer went uninterrupted for too long and went dark.
35	--->'''American Passenger:''' (Continuing) Yes, if you could be a doll and get me a cup of tea.
36	--->'''Violet:''' ''Yes, ma'am''
37	--->'''American Passenger:''' ''(Gets intense and camera zooms in)'' BUT KNOW THAT YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL
38	--->'''Violet:''' Uh, yes, ma'am, thank you, ma'am.
39	--->'''American Passenger:''' (Casually) And a hot towel, as well ''(Gets intense again)'' BUT YOU ARE NOT, YOU HEAR ME, YOU ARE NOT A COG IN A WHEEL.
40	--->'''Violet:''' Right away, ma'am
41	--->'''American Passenger:''' ''(Still intense)'' YOU ARE A STRONG ''(Casually)'' And some fresh linens ''(Intense again)'' INDEPENDENT WOMAN, AND I RESPECT YOU
42	--->'''Violet:''' Very good, ma'am
43
44	* In a twisted, CrossesTheLineTwice, sort of way, the musical number for the episode. It's the propeller of the ''Britannic'' singing about the incident in which two entire lifeboats worth of people were sucked into him thanks to the captain of the boat gunning the engine unaware that the lifeboats were in range of the propeller. Between the verses about how he's not a bad guy and how sorry he is we get lines like ''this'' that sound like he's having a PTSD-induced panic attack. Enhanced by the captions for the all-caps lines vibrating violently.
45	-->'''Propeller:''' I said-a [[SurprisinglyCreepyMoment CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!]] and-a SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM! [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone HOW'D THIS BLOOD GET ALL OVER ME?!?]]
46
47	!!The Dancing Plague
48	* Jermaine writes in his own joke answer alongside his multiple choice answer for one quiz round, and the Professor gives him a bonus point. When Ryan protests that he can't add new ways to score like that, there is a ''quick'' transition to a deep RedFilterOfDoom and an intense musical sting as the Professor snaps that '''''"You've never taken the initiative, Ryan!"'''''
49	* The Professor's first skit of the episode. Both the skit in general and Shane messing up.
50	--->'''Local:''' Oh hey, Brother Thomas.
51	--->'''Brother Thomas:''' Oh, my brother. Wonderful to see you. What, uh, brings your wonderful soul to the house of... ''(Shane messes up possibly mixing up which word he says next)''
52	--->'''Shane:''' ''Sorry, fuck!''
53	--->(Puppet History Technical Difficulties Cut)
54	--->'''Brother Thomas:''' (Continuing) What brings your beautiful soul to the house of His holiness today
55	--->'''Local:''' I saw something kind of weird recently. I could've sworn I saw someone wheeling barrels of ale into the church, but that couldn't be, right?
56	--->'''Brother Thomas:''' I mean, uh, it's funny, that you mention that because I saw something weird today too... I saw a dead man walking.
57	--->(Cut to Ryan looking both surprised and amused at the camera as suspenseful music chimes)
58	--->'''Brother Thomas:''' Huh, how'd you like to be dead?
59	--->'''Local:''' (Stammering) Whoa-whoa, I was... I was just letting you know... about somethin... I thought... It seemed like maybe some illicit activity.
60	--->'''Brother Thomas:''' And I'm just letting you know that if you mention those barrels to anybody else, you'll end up in one.
61	--->'''Jermaine:''' Damn.
62	--->'''Ryan:''' Oh, shit. He Walter Whited him.
63	--->'''Brother Thomas:''' May peace be with you.
64	Something else that makes this funny is that the Local puppet has their hand up, in an almost scared way like they are being threatened by a monk with the attitude Shane gives them.
65	* Later, Ryan mentions:
66	--->'''Ryan:''' Kinda similar to all those people that danced til they died in France.
67	The camera then cuts to the Professor in a dramatic black-and-white tone as suspenseful music plays then...
68	--->'''The Professor:''' (Completely causally) Oh, yeah, I've heard of them
69	Then later in the episode, longer than it should've taken him, Ryan realizes that this is about the very plague he was referring to and they even do a slow-mo of him realizing it. Continue to the previous post down below.
70	* After years of being pestered to cover the topic, the Professor finally talks about the [[MemeticMutation the people in France who danced until they died]]... except Ryan wasn't told and so had no idea what the episode topic was, even ''after'' [[AccidentallyCorrectWriting saying that this is reminding him of the people in France who danced until they died]]. When he ''finally'' realises:
71	-->'''Ryan:''' ''Wait a second!'' Oh. My. God. ''This is the impetus for the people dancing 'til they died in France!!!''\
72	'''Professor:''' Yeah, you ''' ''dipshit.'' '''\
73	'''Ryan:''' ''Holy'' -- hey, fuck you!\
74	'''Professor:''' Strasbourg is in France! It's weird that it took you ''this'' long to figure it out.
75	* Ryan comments that he thought that the Dancing Plague was a case of mass hysteria and not a patient zero deal, [[KnowNothingKnowItAll effectively outing that he has no idea how mass hysteria actually starts]].
76	* When Jermaine comments on Shane’s hand holding up the cup, the Professor says it’s God. When Ryan snarks “God’s a white man”, the Professor changes it to “it’s the devil.” Jermaine appreciates it -- "You know your audience."
77	* The Professor explains that the English Sweat was [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin a disease that would cause people to sweat a lot for several days until they died.]] Jermaine asks what the symptoms were. The Professor answers that [[CaptainObvious "you would sweat a lot".]] Ryan then [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment asks how long it took the disease to run its course, and the Professor says again that it'd take a few days.]] [[{{Bathos}} This is followed by an ominous musical cue.]]
78	* The God discussion gets funnier when it turns out the musical guest for the episode ''is'' God and he looks ''[[EldritchAbomination bizarre]]''. He's also a [[JerkassGod jackass]] whose song is about how the Dancing Plague was [[NeverMyFault not his fault]]... right up until about halfway through the song where he caves and admits [[ItAmusedMe that he basically did it for a laugh]].
79	[[/folder]]
80
81	[[folder:Season 2]]
82	!!How America's First Female Detective Saved Abe Lincoln
83	* The episode on Kate Warne and the (failed) first attempt on Lincoln's life has some doozys:
84	-->'''The Professor''': "[[ARareSentence Noted secessionist]] Literature/PippiLongstocking."
85	* Then there's the extended derail to discuss how "a steamer" (mentioned in the context of travel via steamship) can also be used to describe poop.
86	-->'''Kate:''' [''in a fake Southern accent''] You'll have to excuse me, that dinner was excellent but now I have to take a ride on the steamer!\
87	'''The Professor:''' Ah, Kate, you fit right in here.
88	* The skits for this episode are even more chaotic than normal. In particular, the first skit featuring Lincoln goes [[AccidentalPun off the rails]] early when Kate compares Shane's reedy puppet-Lincoln voice to Voldemort - even puppet Lincoln directly chiding Kate and Ryan for making fun of his voice doesn't stop the jokes. Then at the end of the skit, the puppet theater's curtain comes loose from its moorings and falls on the puppets, and once ''that'' snafu is fixed, the Professor's satchel snags on the back curtain and Shane has to untangle him.
89	-->'''Ryan:''' What is that hand? Oh my God, the Professor just got abducted!
90	* Kate’s over-the-top reaction to winning, especially the tiny shelf she now has to put her tiny trophies on.
91	-->'''Kate''': [''with an exaggerated Southern accent''] We’re not gonna be strugglin' anymore, Peter, we won the championship!
92
93	!!The Terrifying Eruption of Mt. Vesuvius
94	* When talking about how Pliny the Elder tied a pillow to his head in order to protect himself from volcanic fragments, the Professor gets the idea to do the same and wears a pillow on his head for the rest of the episode.
95	* The unintentional RunningGag of Ryan and guest star Matt Real getting more confused at the apparently skewed priorities of people during the eruption. This ranges from Pliny the Elder arriving at his friend's house very near the erupting volcano and, instead of telling him to escape to the sea, asking for a bath and a meal, to learning that there were still 2000 people in Pompeii even after the majority evacuated -- "What was that percentage of people ''doing'' while everyone was evacuating???" -- to Ryan being utterly mindblown by the fact that in the present day '''3 million people''' (aka the city of Naples) live only 8 miles away from the volcano.
96	-->'''Matt:''' People get on with it.
97
98	!!Hatshepsut: The Forgotten Pharaoh
99	* Since the episode stars Ryan and Ryan[[SpellMyNameWithAnS n]], the Professor decides to give Ryan a nickname. After some suggestions, they settle on Beef Man.
100	* Ryan recounts a time he killed a spider and left its corpse on display in his garage to scare off an infestation. The Professor tells him spiders are lovely animals that should be left alone, and Ryan responds by asking him if he keeps spiders as pets. Apparently the Professor does keep them… to farm [[BizarreTasteInFood as a protein source.]]
101	* The Professor tries really hard to make an asp + assassination pun. [[EpicFail It does not work]]. [[https://spooksandwheezes.tumblr.com/post/627730110841257984/this-is-what-its-like-living-in-my-head At all]].
102	* At one point, Ryan makes a ''Film/{{Borat}}'' reference, which the professor initially laughs at... only to then [[TakeThat give a rotten jellybean as punishment for his outdated reference]].
103	* While Ryann Graham is celebrating his victory, [[MoodWhiplash Ryan Bergara threatens to rip off the Professor’s head]].
104
105	!!The Disastrous 1904 Olympic Marathon
106	* The Professor is again wearing an American Girl outfit; as pointed out in the comments, it's an outfit from 2016, so either someone on the team is [[ProudToBeAGeek an active AG fan]] (rather than someone who had it laying around in a closet since childhood) or (less funny) they just borrowed it from a kid.
107	* The World's Fair is described as "like a Six Flags but, you know, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick with more whale bones and racism.]]"
108	* The Professor discusses how the competitors of said marathon were not permitted to bring water with them, [[{{Irony}} only to start coughing and requesting for some as well.]]
109	* “I’m an Asian-Hispanic man. I have never played croquet.”
110	* Guest Kristin Chirico keeps presenting her whiteboard answers upside down.
111	* After it's revealed that runner Thomas Hicks was given a combination of egg whites and ''strychnine'' by his support crew, the episode briefly derails into a very tongue-in-cheek conversation about the state of medical science at the time.
112	-->'''Kristin:''' Is this back when doctors were just like 'Listen, we've invented tons of drugs and we don't know what to do with ''any'' of them'?\
113	...\
114	'''The Professor:''' It very much feels like a situation of them just looking in their bag to see what they have.\
115	'''Ryan:''' 'We've got a secret weapon! The only secret about it is we don't know what it does.'
116	* The sheer furious intensity and morbidity of the Olympic Torch during its song is hilarious. You can hear either Ryan or Kristin let out a "What…?" when it asks the listener if they'd ''scoop out both their eyes'' to win the gold.
117
118	!!Isaac Newton's Nemesis
119	* When asked about if they ever had a nemesis, Keith discusses in length (assumed given how it's skimmed through in editing) about how he had one in a fellow French Horn player, which both Ryan and The Professor just listen to with bored faces.
120	** Followed by Ryan afterwards suggesting they revive the feud and The Professor objecting like the only stern adult in the room.
121	--->'''Keith''': Yeah I guess I could find her.
122	--->'''The Professor''': No don't bother.
123	--->'''Keith''': I'll find her.
124	--->'''The Professor''': No no no no no!
125	--->'''Keith''': I'll start harassing her online!
126	* Keith injecting with the occasional zinger.
127	** There's Keith taking the chance to make a joke about one of his fellow Try Guys in the middle of a comically tense moment between The Professor and Ryan as the latter makes implications that The Professor is his nemesis.
128	--->'''The Professor''': Are you talking about me?
129	--->'''Keith''': Either you or Zach Kornfeld? One of the two.
130	--->''(Cue laugh track)''
131	--->'''Ryan''': Oho, Zach Korndiddy burn!
132	** Keith making a pun about horsepower to the delight of The Professor and Ryan and the Watcher video editing team.
133	* The guest singer is a coin who looks and sounds suspiciously like Music/RandyNewman. The humor [[RefugeInAudacity comes from the fact that]] his song is ''jarringly'' gut-wrenching.
134	-->'''Ryan''': (as soon as the number ends) … Randy Newman is ''alive'', right?
135
136	!!The World's Greatest/Rudest Samurai
137	* On the topic of getting into fights as kids, Ryan talks about how he once slammed another kid over his head, which both Garrick and The Professor are initially horrified by, until Ryan explains the kid was quite racist, which leads to both agreeing [[AssholeVictim the kid deserved it]].
138	* Both Ryan and Garrick find it unbelievable (and quite stupid) that the Yoshioka clan, after seeing their best swordsman be bested by Miyamoto, think it's a good idea to challenge him again not once, but ''twice''. Upon learning of the second time, Ryan just goes "Wow!" while Garrick laughs in disbelief.
139	** Also in a textbook application of the "definition of insanity" quote, The Professor gives Ryan and Garrick the ''exact same'' multiple choice question after the duel with Denshichiro as he did right before it. Ryan, falling into the same definition of insanity, answers the ''exact same way'' as he did the previous time and is fittingly shocked when he learns the truth.
140	* During the illustration of Musashi's duel with Seijuro, the background crowd are holding up signs like boxing or wrestling fans cheering on Seijuro with one notable exception.
141	-->''[[LampshadeHanging Why are these signs in English]]''
142	** The signs continue to appear in the background of all the other duels described throughout the episode. For the duel with twelve-year-old Matashichiro, one of the signs reads "Maybe we should cool it with all these duels to the death?" and another reads "Fight this child, wimp!"
143	* Given their shared interest in basketball, Ryan and Garrick spend the majority of the episode trading references in response to the story. The Professor similarly spends the majority of the episode trying to keep up with references he doesn't understand. In particular, during a tangent about Carmelo Anthony, the Professor simply falls silent, with small cartoon graphics of question marks, basketballs, and [[{{Mondegreen}} caramels]] floating around his head.
144	* The skit of a messenger trying to fetch Musashi for his duel with Sasaki Kojiro... only to be flabbergasted by his JerkAss tendencies when he finds he's slept in and is casually dragging his feet getting ready for the fight.
145	-->'''Messenger:''' What are you doing?! We need to go!\
146	'''Musashi:''' I'm coming! I just need to wash up. And get dressed. And have some breakfast - maybe some waffles or something.\
147	'''Messenger:''' [[WhatTheHellHero Good]] ''[[WhatTheHellHero god...!]]''
148	* A slip of the tongue causes The Professor to refer to Musashi's trash talk to a man he was about to kill in a duel as "[[InterplayOfSexAndViolence dirty talk]]". He fumbles over trying to correct himself before admitting that "we get up to some ''stuff'' over here in this theater."
149	** [[BrickJoke This comes back]] after the episode's musical number, a HoYay laden tragic duet between the oar Musashi carved into a sword and the one he didn't. After some prompting from Garrick and Ryan, the two begin ''messily'' making out before they drop into presumably the orchestra pit and can still be heard as The Professor returns. ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice Then the sound of sawing can be heard]]'' [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything with the implication of what's happening being pretty straightforward]].
150	* Ryan and Garrick immediately assume, based on what they've heard of him up to that point, that Musashi murdered young Mikinosuke's parents in order to adopt Mikinosuke as his own son.
151	* Garrick is declared the round winner at the end of the episode, and he asks if he can eat the jellybeans in his trophy. He proceeds to do so... [[GainaxEnding and finds himself transformed, with a puff of smoke, into a puppet.]]
152
153	!!Policarpa: The Revolutionary Teen Spy
154	* To demonstrate how the juntas garnered support, the Professor amasses a crowd of puppets who claim to not be puppets from previous episodes even when they include [[AnachronismStew Hatshepsut, Allan Pinkerton, and two of Musashi's opponents]]. [[LampshadeHanging Lampshaded]] by their chant:
155	--> ''Revolution! We support the junta! Down with the viceroys! [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial We are not reused puppets from previous episodes]]!''
156	* The Professor's repeated references to Joseph Bonaparte, older brother of Napoleon, as "Joey Bones," and the general depiction of Joseph as [[CoattailRidingRelative a wimpy loser coasting on his younger brother's success]].
157	** Even better during one of the puppet theater segments, Napoleon is ''massive'' and speaks in a BadassBaritone.
158	* A spool of thread that belonged to Policarpa is the musical guest of the episode. During its song, a jaunty swing number bluntly calling for resistance against the upper class, a single one of the few-second cuts to the contestants' reactions show Curly ''standing up and twerking.''
159
160	!!The Grisly Journey of The Donner Party
161	* When talking about how Truckee Lake was later re-named Donner Lake due to the party’s infamy, the Puppet History crew [[{{Pun}} take a detour]] to talk about what they would like named in their honor. Joyce wants a sex shop in a small town, and Ryan wants a garbage can on his former college’s campus (not a nice one, one that drunk kids throw up in).
162	* One of the passages from the journal they're reading from mentions that it is "[[AccidentalInnuendo Hard to get wood]]." Much fun is had here.
163	* Ryan's reaction to the snowman puppet whose bottom snowball appears to be a (very cartoonish) frozen severed head, while Joyce is just vibing with the music (though even she's wincing at points).
164
165	!!The Story of St. Nicholas
166	* When the Professor is panicking over what gift he could possibly give Santa Claus, Kate suggests being his friend. When the Professor says he isn’t a very good friend in general, Kate’s second suggestion is “your firstborn [child].”
167	-->'''The Professor''': ''[[WhatTheHellHero Jesus Christ, Kate]].''
168	* While awaiting the answer to one quiz section, Ryan and Kate each voice that they think that the other picked the right choice and compliment each other on their decision-making. The Professor lets them know he appreciates it! ...And gets trolled for it.
169	-->'''The Professor:''' Aw, I love the spirit of camaraderie --\
170	'''Ryan:''' [[MoodWhiplash Hey, shut up, Professor.]]\
171	'''Kate:''' Shut the ''fuck'' up, Professor!\
172	'''The Professor:''' What the hell?! Okay! Here's a sketch! I'll see you guys later! Jesus ''Christ!''\
173	''[The Professor leaves the stage as Ryan and Kate crack up.]''
174	* At one point, the Professor trips over his tongue and calls Ryan "Dad" instead of "dude", to Ryan's confusion.
175	* The Professor's Christmas gift to Kate is an adorable miniature book ornament of Shakespeare quotes, whereas his gift to Ryan is an adorable miniature $100 bill.
176	* The whole ending.
177	** Santa Claus [[ItMakesSenseInContext (who is a mass of bones in a Santa hat)]] finally appears, and on a suggestion from Ryan, the Professor gifts him with an... [[StylisticSuck awkward but earnest attempt]] at a song in his honor. [[{{Bathos}} It includes stings of power-ballad guitar riffs over sentimental music as the Professor triumphantly sings that St. Nick is magic but also maybe not real]] and [[RunningGag saved the pickle boys]], and a fumbling mention of the fact that Arius, the man who St. Nick punched for heresy, is said to have shit himself to death.
178	--->'''The Professor:''' ''[Singing.] We didn't cover it 'cause it was kinda tangential/But he allegedly shit himself to death! Here's… here's a drawing!''\
179	''[Medieval painting of Arius shitting himself flies onscreen as one of the epic guitar stings plays.]''
180	** St. Nick decides to sing, too, and quickly reveals himself to be, uh, eccentric with a PissTakeRap repeating that he [[OverlyLongGag saved the pickle boys]] ''ad nauseum'' (despite the Professor having already stated this) that also offhandedly mentions he might have killed the butcher who killed them (to the Professor's surprise), among other things.
181	--->'''Santa Claus:''' ''St. Nicholas killed the pickle boys -'' ''[[VerbalBackspace I mean, saved the pickle boys! Oh, yeah!]]''\
182	'''Kate:''' ''[Content dancing gives way to a look of shock.]''
183	[[/folder]]
184
185	[[folder:Season 3]]
186
187	!!The Beast of Gevaudan
188	* The Professor tasks Ryan and Sara (who is a professional artist, which Ryan points out as a point of unfairness) with drawing the Beast of Gevaudan based on descriptions from the time, their attempts to be scored based on how much they terrify him. Sara shows her drawing and earns eight jellybeans (while Ryan laughs incredulously at how quickly she turned out such a detailed drawing). When Ryan shows his...
189	-->'''The Professor''': ...It's a middle finger. ''[Incredulously laughing.]'' You're telling me to go fuck myself!
190	** Ryan's drawing of a middle finger also sports a tiny smiley face with monster fangs.
191
192	!!The War of the Golden Stool
193	* The eponymous Golden Stool is the episode's musical guest, singing a song called... "A Stool of Gold". Its one lyric is "A STOOL OF GOLD", repeated over and over again as the music and visuals grow in intensity. Kate is enraptured. It's been noted that the song was likely written this way to avoid portraying such an important cultural artifact disrespectfully through trying to write overtly comical lyrics about it, and the result is possibly funnier for it by sheer weirdness and RefugeInAudacity.
194
195	!!Ziryab: The World's First Rock Star
196	* The Professor explains that after hiring him, the Umayyad emir not only lavished Ziryab with wealth and attention, he had a special door installed so Ziryab could visit his room secretly. The Professor and Zach remark, almost simultaneously, [[HoYay "They're fucking"]], followed by a flash of a neon sign reading, "Yeah, they're fucking".
197
198	!!The Affair of the Poisons
199	* The timing is everything in this one, but, when the Professor asks "How many mistresses are you currently keeping?",both Ryan and Garret react wonderfully-- Ryan chokes on his tea looking confused, while Garret worriedly begs "I plead the Fifth [Amendment]?"
200	* At one point when the Professor's talking about all the poisoners in Paris, we get a backdrop featuring [[EiffelTowerEffect the Eiffel Tower]] -- with a note [[LampshadeHanging saying]] '[[AnachronismStew The Eiffel Tower hadn't been built yet]]. Sue us.'
201	** In that same scene, the 'poisoner' is holding a love potion with a tag that reads 'boink juice', a pot of ointment with the label 'le sexy creme' and a box with 'MISC. MAGICAL BULLSHIT' on the side.
202	* When discussing how sought-after the position of the king's mistress was, there's a sign on the wall that reads 'Today's to-do list: Raw-dog the big guy'.
203	* Turns out the Professor vapes. A lot.
204	** The [[MotorMouth very fast disclaimer]] in regards to the Professor's preferred vice of choice.
205	-->Watcher Entertainment does not approve of the Professor's vaping habit and hopes that you'll keep in mind that he is a nasty little creep whose diet consists of spiders and possibly even dolphin meat.
206	* The puppet reenactment of Marie Busse straight-up telling Maitre Perrin that she sells poisons for a living.
207	-->'''Maitre Perrin:''' You... heard me when I said I am a lawyer, right?\
208	'''Marie Busse:''' ''[Joyfully.]'' Damn, this wine is delicious! Holy shit! This party rules...
209
210	!!The Great Molasses Flood
211	* Before getting into the actual details of the flood, Ryan and guest Garrett continually make jokes about the molasses tank bursting open and the subsequent wave, with Garrett at one point asking if anyone died and if [[DudeNotFunny it's actually alright to make light of it]]. Once the Professor begins actually describing the [[CruelAndUnusualDeath nightmarish deaths]] and mutilations of the flood's victims, Garrett's subsequent horror and how this was not ''at all'' what he was expecting when he was invited onto the show makes for great BlackComedy.
212	-->'''The Professor''': Come on guys, tell me your jokes about it! [Beat] Huh? No? No takers?
213	* Throughout the season, the Horse has appeared to hype up his season finale ska song. He finally gets his performance here [[KilledMidSentence and gets killed mid-lyric by the abovementioned flood]]. ''God'' ends up finishing the song, although the Horse joins in from the afterlife by, upon God assuaging his initial distress by telling him that he doesn't need to worry about missing his family and friends because they also most likely got caught in the flood, ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice cheerfully singing about he hopes his wife is also dead.]]''
214	* The second answer to the question of how the residents of Boston cleaned up the city after the Molasses Flood is a long cutscene wherein the genie who's been chasing the Professor made the molasses vanish in exchange for the Bostonians handing the Professor over, but the Professor managed to escape in the nick of time. The actual answer board just says 'B. Whatever that was all about.'
215	* After the Horse and God finish their song, Garrett reveals that he's doodled fan art of the Horse and his wife on his whiteboard - but he doesn't know how to draw a female horse, "so I just gave her one boob".
216	[[/folder]]
217
218	[[folder:Season 4]]
219
220	!!The Great Emu War
221	* Kate is extremely weirded out by Ryan's change of attitude.
222	-->'''Ryan:''' I'm really happy you're here too. It's good to see you, Kate.\
223	'''Kate:''' What the fuck is happening?!
224	* Ryan says his friend Shane had a pet bird that he ''ate''. Kate is so shocked by this she breaks {{Kayfabe}} for a second before catching herself.
225	-->'''Kate:''' Shane, you ate your pet bird?! ''[hastily looks around the room]'' Wherever you are, Shane?
226	* "Wait, is this what it feels like to learn?"
227	* Emu-mathemathics with Ryan Bergara.
228	-->'''The Professor''': ''What the FUCK is so HARD for you to understand about how many feet birds have!? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A FOUR-LEGGED BIRD, OR A ONE-LEGGED BIRD!?''
229
230	!!Mansa Musa: The Richest Man Who Ever Lived
231	* The Professor quizzes Ryan and Ify on how Mansa Musa responded to hearing that his wife missed going swimming during their pilgrimage to Mecca. Ryan delivers the words "MY WIFE!" in a ''Film/{{Borat}}'' impression as he gives his answer, and the Professor laughs and gives him bonus jellybean points for the reference, repeating it himself in the subsequent skit wherein he reveals that Ryan guessed right... after Ryan made the ''exact same reference in the Hatshepsut episode and was penalized for it.''
232
233	!!America vs. Smallpox: How Vaccines Saved the Nation
234	* At one point, Jermaine takes a jellybean from the Professor's satchel in celebration of one of his right answers and then gives the Professor a thank-you scratch on the chin, which he readily responds to with a couple of duck- or frog-like noises in… approval?
235
236	!!José Rizal: The Philippines' Reluctant Revolutionary
237	* After learning that José Rizal made a statement after his incarceration pointing out the disconnect between his status as the Philippine Revolution's fighters' hero and him being a "harmless sort of chap" who disavowed them for their use of force, Ryan and Josh take things a step further and wonder if any of the revolutionaries ever met him expecting an obvious badass when so many of his exploits had been "nerdy" ones in areas like studying abroad, art and writing, and entomology.
238	-->'''The Professor:''' ''[As Rizal.]'' Look at this little diorama I made of these grasshoppers! It looks like they're having dinner!
239
240	!!The Demonic Possessions of Loudun
241	* The Professor reads out the names of the demons said to have been possessing the nuns of Loudun, which range from the types of names you'd expect to hear like Asmodeus, Behemoth, and Leviatan to… [[AerithAndBob Alex]], Fornication, and ''Dog's Dick.''
242	-->'''The Professor:''' [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer That was in the research.]]
243	* During the climax where everything's going nutty Sara's only commentary during the event is to [[CaptainObvious state the thing she's looking at out loud]].
244	-->'''Sara''': That's a Devil!
245	* The episode ends with a memorial to the Professor featuring a black-and-white photo of him... covered with a watermark for Wikifeet.
246
247	!!The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular!
248	* During the Professor's memorial service, many previous winners of PH eulogize him though most are pretty funny on their own. Examples include Jermaine Fowler trying to memorialize the professor while being distracted by his baby daughter, Ryann Graham exaggeratedly crying complete with stereotypical funeral widow hat and veil, and (inexplicably yet hilariously) Kate Peterman ''telling the professor happy birthday'' as if he hadn't died.
249	[[/folder]]
250
251	[[folder:Season 5]]
252	!!How Hippo Meat Almost Saved America
253	* The episode begins with the Professor glossing over his own apparent UnexplainedRecovery from the previous season's finale… and then shouting at Ryan and Sara for calling attention to a weird box that's now sitting beside the theater and ''hissing and snarling like an animal'' at the former trying to touch him. It's both unnerving and hilarious for how strange, intense, and all around ''off'' it is.
254	* It looks like the editor had a lot of fun with the episode. Ryan, Sara, and the Professor getting into a digression over what it'd be like to eat a beaver or a penguin winds up accompanied by silly animations and notes drifting across the scene poking fun at them for the tangent, one of which follows Ryan accidentally misspeaking at one point with "He said 'Biebers'" and a little laughing smiley face.
255	* The cast hear something falling over offset, and Ryan and Sara remark that the studio must be haunted. When Ryan then hears more of the same sound, the moment receives playback in the style of ''Ghost Files'', complete with him providing voiceover.
256	* [[ItMakesSenseInContext Ryan and Sara discuss vore, which they do not encourage.]]
257	* Ryan actually wins! …But the Professor says he's having supply chain issues with his History Cups and awards him some lotion "for champs" as his prize instead. Which he then pressures him to use on the spot in an ominous mutter as Ryan stares at him skeptically.
258
259	!!The Defenestrations of Prague
260	* Ryan and Brian ask the Professor to repeat the (fake) name "Auhn Jus" multiple times. Each time the camera cuts back to him doing so, his head gets larger, nearly filling the theater by the time the gag ends.
261	* Ryan snickering at the phrase "[[InherentlyFunnyWords penal]] code". When called out on it, he doesn't hide it.
262	-->'''Ryan:''' [[HehHehYouSaidX You said… "the penal code"…]]
263	* Brian appears to take an instant pleased interest in the musical guest, a living stained glass window, once he appears - and establishes by proceeding to write "#1 Window Stan" on his whiteboard and wave it during his number that it's because [[{{Kayfabe}} he's a fan!]]
264	* The subtitles for the first verse of Window's song come punctuated with cheeky {{Emoticon}}s.
265	-->It's just an angry mob! :)
266
267	!!The Vietnamese Sisters Who Fought An Empire
268	* The camera cutting and the episode skipping ahead mid-sentence when the Professor starts going on a tangent to ask Ryan and Maya [[SurprisinglyCreepyMoment if either of them would ever kill their own children.]]
269	* The ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons''-style roleplaying sequence complete with dice rolls wherein Ryan and Maya are tasked with describing how they'd kill an invincible and mystical white tiger like Trung Trac is said to have done. Unsurprisingly, given his status as the show's ButtMonkey, Ryan is told that his attempt to strangle the beast wouldn't do squat despite him rolling an 18. Then Maya takes her turn with a much more outlandish slaying involving stuffing food the tiger tells her he's slightly allergic to down his throat... only for the tiger [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome to remind her that he said he's only "slightly" allergic and inform her she'd succeed in giving him a slight throat tickle before he bit her hand off.]]
270	* Ryan's usual lack of amusement during end-of-episode musical numbers has shifted in the context of this season to outright suspicion, given all its other weird goings-on - but despite that, he's [[ActuallyPrettyFunny actually pretty entertained]] by the Infinitiger's lamentation of his own death, spending several lines barely suppressing a crackup once the tiger drops the blunt lyrics "A THOUSAND YEARS I LIVED, AND NOW I'M '''''FUCKING DEAD'''''".
271	* The episode ends with TheReveal of what happened to the Professor ''after'' he was eaten by the tyrannosaurus at the end of Season 4: he was reborn from an egg to [[InterspeciesRomance the T-Rex and her pterodactyl husband]], who are voiced by former show guests Joyce and Garrett in manners reflective of their respective smoothly irreverent and {{Keet}}-y personalities. It is as wild and hilarious as it sounds.
272
273	!!America's First Black Aviatrix
274	* In another moment that's equal parts unsettlingly and hilariously strange, the episode starts with Ryann voicing concern about the box by the stage, resulting in the Professor shouting at him and Ryan before silently staring them down. Ryan goes and starts giving him the silent treatment, too... and the Professor begins hissing at him again, this time backed by a noise like a distant, distorted roar.
275	* The musical guest is a happy cloud who sings about how great it is to visit the sky and fly! .......And stops mid-lyrical break to reveal casually to Ryan and Ryann he knows who committed the JFK assassination.
276	* We get another scene of the Professor in the past with his new dinosaur parents at the end of the episode, in which they're stargazing together and start to make up their own constellations. The T-Rex actually tells a heartwarming little anecdote about the one that she makes up of a bird, but before her, her husband dedicates one to a random rock he's apparently enamored with (because it's heavy, cold, and tastes awful, by his "explanation"), and after her, the Professor picks out a simple "face" in the stars consisting of two dot eyes, a dot nose, and a line for a mouth and happily declares that it looks like his friend Beef Boy.
277
278	!! The Bloody Life of England's Fastest Surgeon
279	* Aria has an inopportune laughing fit trying to explain a weird image he once saw while Ryan shares that he's squicked out by skinning, prompting Ryan to ask what's wrong with him. Becomes a BrickJoke when after Ryan passes out from the laced vape, the Hologram-Professor distracts Aria by asking to see the photo (with what little dialogue that can be heard implying he has ''[[CovertPervert multiple]]'' images like that and has to scroll to find it).
280	* The skit revealing what made Robert Liston such a great surgeon for his time, between the options of him being unusually mentally sharp, him having the steadiest hands in the business, and him being... a very large man. It depicts two patients discussing the good doctor as they wait in line to see him, revealing they have differing accounts on the first two points. Liston then walks out to greet them in the form of a puppet that's ''twice the size'' of either of them.
281	* Shane finally shows up in the Puppet History universe... as a completely disinterested producer who tells ''Satan'' he's not right for the show, reacts to the Professor's seeming revival with a joyful need to tell [[BitingTheHandHumor Nord VPN]], and delivers the hologram Professor's package while VOCALLY saying he's not going to get involved. He even greets his good pal Ryan, on walking onto the show set to find him ''tied to a chair,'' with a casual "Hey, buddy!" as if he considers the sight of him ''about to get murdered'' to be ''eccentric'' more than concerning.
282
283	!! The Dreadful Demise of the Dinosaurs
284	* The Professor's dino parents mention that they used to be in a polyamorous throuple with an invertebrate and are briefly sidetracked reminiscing about how flexible he was. When Dinosara fondly says that she could "just fold him like origami" and her partner confirms he would do the same, there's no telling whether it's an UnusualEuphemism or whether the two just literally really enjoyed folding him, making for some pretty hilariously weird mental images.
285	** Garrett and Joyce work hard to try and stay in character as dinosaurs with no experience of the future, but because they do so well it means Joyce using "origami" and no one picking up on it implies that the art of origami predates the invention of paper.
286	* At one point Dinosir asks if there are any movies in the future with weird timelines and the Professor brings up ''{{Film/Tenet}}''. Garrett, who voices and operates Dinosir, then starts ''struggling'' to try and argue about ''Tenet'' in character as a dinosaur who has never seen any movies before in its life while Shane as the Professor tries to defend it.
287	* After Ryan wishes for the Professor back and it takes a bit longer than expected/hoped, he states his belief that it didn't work to the Genie... who is revealed to be ''ever'' so slightly smaller than Ryan and is actually rather chill and courteous when not exacting revenge on the Professor.
288	** The Genie also lets Ryan believe that the wish failed before leaving only for the Professor to turn up alive and well seconds later, meaning he told him that to ''fuck with him'' for no reason.
289	* In a scene that's filled with moments of awesomeness, nightmare fuel, tearjerking, and heartwarming moments as Ryan fights off the mad hologram and reunites with the real Professor, a single moment of humor breaks up the scene as when Ryan finishes off the hologram by [[DestinationDefenestration throwing him out the window]], the backing track of the song from the ''Defenestrations of Prague'' video plays for a single line.
290	--> '''Ryan''': [[PreAssKickingOneLiner Class dismissed, you little blue ballsack.]]
291	--> '''Song''': ''Because you're going out the win-DOOOW!'' [the window shatters and the fake Professor tumbles limply through the air]
292	* [[SeenItAll Neither The Professor or Ryan react to a insane murderous glitching copy of themselves/a pair of puppet dinosaurs suddenly in the booth respectively with little more than a bemused "who is that?/who are they?"]]
293
294	[[/folder]]
295
296	[[folder:Season 6]]
297	!! The Unkillable Weirdo Who Invented The Saxophone
298	* Steven Lim's CallBack to the very first episode, which is HilariousInHindsight.
299	--> '''Steven''': The last time I saw you face to face...
300	--> '''Professor''': I was warning you about the dangers of a pandemic.
301	--> '''Steven''': And I laughed about it.
302	--> '''Professor''': [[UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic Yeah you did, you piece of shit]].
303
304	!!The Concubine Who Killed Her Way To The Throne
305
306	* The Professor assigns Joyce and Ryan to give themselves regnant names, the more formidable the better. Ryan dubs himself [[SelfDeprecation "The Decent, Pretty Okay, Honestly Mid and Tolerable Emperor Ryan Bergara."]]
307
308	!!How A Pope's Neopbaby Became One Of The Worst Tyrants In History
309
310	* This week's musical guest is a Pope hat singing how great it is to live as a Pope because everything is cool....only for ''The actual God'' to show up (apparently he's got notifications for when Watcher mentions him) and reveal [[ButForMeItWasTuesday given he made everything, hes only spent about 8 minutes paying attention to Earth and doesn't even ''remember'' what a Pope is]]. For even more comedy, guest [[WebVideo/TheTryGuys Zach Kornfield]] has a existential crisis at seeing actual God while Ryan, treating it as the usual UnusuallyUninterestingSight, half-heartedly reassures him.
311

Context Funny / PuppetHistory