1 | * The very first line of the film? |
2 | --> "Mrs. Claus is hot!" |
3 | * Charly complaining about apparently gaining a little weight as Samantha. |
4 | * This: |
5 | -->'''Charly:''' [[AreYouPonderingWhatImPondering Are you thinking what I'm thinking?]]\ |
6 | '''Mitch:''' I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking about [[GroinAttack how much my balls hurt]]! |
7 | * Charly/Sam and Caitlin are trapped in the freezer, and Charly is about to break them out: |
8 | -->'''Caitlin:''' Mommy, am I gonna die?\ |
9 | '''Charly/Samantha:''' Oh, no, baby, no. You're not going to die... they are. (''lights the match'') Cover your ears. Hey, should we get a dog? |
10 | * When Mitch first meets Sam in the "Charly" persona, she [[DistractedByTheSexy distracts him with her bare breasts]] and quickly rips off his bandage. She then says it's "the same principle as with deflowering virgins": |
11 | -->'''Charly:''' I read it in this Harold Robbins novel. The guy bites her on the ear, distracts her from the pain. You ever try that?\ |
12 | '''Mitch:''' (''stares incredulously'') No, I sock 'em in the jaw and yell "pop goes the weasel!" |
13 | * The look Mitch gives Caitlin when she says [[CaptainObvious "Don't hit the cars!"]] as they drive away from a massive explosion and burning wrecks are raining down around them. |
14 | * An unintended example, Sam telling Caitlin to run and hide when she fights a mook after escaping the building they just blew up. After killing the mook, she immediatly calls out for Caitlin as if she'd forgotten she told her to hide. |
15 | * Mitch and Sam are running from assassins and take cover on a landing. |
16 | -->'''Mitch''' (''slightly panicked'') OK, I've got three shots left in the revolver. You've got a full clip. Just point, and spray, okay? Ready... and...\ |
17 | (''Grenade lands next to them'')\ |
18 | '''Mitch''' (''very panicked'') Fuck it, run for your life! |
19 | ** They escape said grenade by running down the hallway and jumping through the window after Sam shoots it using Mitch's revolver; then, in midair, Sam uses her Mini-Uzi to shoot the frozen lake below them to break up the ice. |
20 | --->'''Sam:''' (''dazed, as they climb out of the lake'') What happened?!\ |
21 | '''Mitch:''' I saved your life! It was great! |
22 | * There's a great LovableRogue BaitAndSwitch moment when Mitch tells a story about his days as a cop and how his partner hated him and told InternalAffairs that some missing bonds were in Mitch's closet. |
23 | -->'''Sam:''' Your partner put them there, huh?\ |
24 | '''Mitch:''' No, no, I did. I stole the damn things. |
25 | * Waldman's conversation with his wife. |
26 | -->'''Waldman:''' Alice, please. Your dog, Alice. It and my appetite are mutually exclusive.\ |
27 | '''Alice:''' What's wrong with the dog?\ |
28 | '''Waldman:''' Simple: he's been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention. I should think that whatever he's attempting to dislodge is either gone for good or there to stay. |
29 | * When Mitch calls Samantha out on her bad language. |
30 | -->'''Samantha:''' What, are you a Mormon?\ |
31 | '''Mitch:''' Yeah, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a pack of Newports and drank three vodka tonics. |
32 | * Mitch busts a crook with a prostitute, and when he tries to bargain he says this in front of her: |
33 | -->"I can tell by your choice of hookers you're not a wealthy man." |
34 | ** What makes that scene even funnier is that she's not really a prostitute; she's Mitch's business partner. This makes the displeased look on her face even better. |
35 | * Mitch's way of trying to get someone to shut up: |
36 | -->"I will see to it you spend the next ten years in prison [[PrisonRape getting assfucked]], and if the case is thrown out because my arrest was too violent, [[CrossesTheLineTwice I will personally hire a man to assfuck you for the next ten years]], so if you're an assfucking fan, you go ahead and mouth off." |
37 | * While Timothy's actions are usually portrayed as [[KnightOfCerebus dead serious]], there's one darkly comedic exchange between him and a mortally wounded underling. |
38 | -->'''Mook:''' I'm hurt real bad. I think I'm dying.\ |
39 | '''Timothy:''' Continue dying. Out. |
40 | * Sam/Charly doesn't believe Nathan when he says Samantha is just a "fantasy": |
41 | -->'''Sam/Charly:''' It's not a fantasy. I'm in the goddamn PTA.\ |
42 | '''Nathan:''' Then ''quit''! |
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