Line #7 Creator/Catullus


1	[[quoteright:281:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/gaius_catullus.png]]
2	[[caption-width-right:281:Modern bust of Catullus on the Piazza Carducci in Sirmione]]
3	->''"I didn't, God help me, think it mattered whether \
4	I put my nose to Aemilius's mouth or ass, \
5	neither being cleaner or dirtier than the other; \
6	but his ass in fact is cleaner, not so crass \
7	''no teeth'', for starters. His mouth's a cemetery inside: \
8	headstone grinders, gums like old wagon-leather. \
9	What's worse, that grin of his yawns about as wide \
10	as a mule's cunt splits for pissing in hot weather, \
11	and he screws all the girls, thinks he's got charm and class \
12	the mill wheel's the place for him, let him go grind \
13	grain, forget pussy! Any woman who makes a pass \
14	at ''him'' would lick a sick hangman's rank behind."''
15	-->-- ''Catullus 97'' (translation by Peter Green)
16
17	Gaius Valerius Catullus (c. 84 – c. 54 BC) was a Roman poet who lived during the [[UsefulNotes/TheRomanRepublic Roman Republic]]. His {{poetry}} moved away from the [[UsefulNotes/AncientGreece ancient Greek]] epics about gods and heroes to something closer to everyday life. It is greatly admired throughout the ages and influenced poets such as Creator/{{Ovid}}, Creator/{{Virgil}} and Creator/ChristopherMarlowe. Some of his most famous poems include ''5'', a passionate ode to his lover whom he calls "Lesbia"; ''[[Literature/CatulliCarmen16 16]]'', an infamously obscene invective that might have been in response to the charge of slight effeminacy and immodesty; and ''85'', which captures the essence of a BelligerentSexualTension in a distich.
18	----
19	!!Catullus' work provides examples of:
20	%%
21	%% Zero Context Examples have been commented out. Please write up a full example before uncommenting.
22	%%
23	* BelligerentSexualTension: Catullus often moves swiftly from praising his beloved's best features to calling her a whore for her infidelity, and back again, like in ''85'' and ''92''.
24	* BlackComedyRape: The opening and closing lines of poem 16 invoke this: ''Paedicabo ego vos et irrumabo'' were translated by G.P. Goold as "I'll bugger you and stuff you." ''Irrumo'' is a Latin verb meaning "to be fellated".
25	* BookEnds: The well-known poem 16 begins and ends with the same sentence: "Paedicabo ego vos et irrumabo".
26	* CargoEnvy: In many of his poems he desires to be this or that belonging to his mistress, Lesbia. Most famously, he wants to be her ''passer'' or pet "sparrow." Though some believe it may not really be a sparrow.
27	* ClusterFBomb: Most (in)famously ''[[Literature/CatulliCarmen16 16]]'', which is widely considered one of the most obscene and offensive things ever written in Latin. The first and last lines roughly translates to "I will sodomize you and then facefuck you."
28	* CountryMatters: He employed the Latin equivalent more than a few times, especially in ''97'' --- where he makes fun of Aemilius ThePigPen's personal hygiene and says his face looks like a urinating mule's naughty bits (we'd say "could stop a clock" today).
29	* DueToTheDead: ''101'' records his journey from Rome to Anatolia to make sacrifices at his brother's grave. The description of how he feels at the tomb is heart-wrenching.
30	* HoYay: So, so much; bisexuality was considered usual for upper-class Romans and it shows.
31	** StickyFingers: Catullus bitterly calls Thallus, his ex-lover, out on his stealing in ''25'':
32	-> "O queenie Thallus, softer than a furry little rabbit, \
33	a goosey-woosey's marrow or the bottom of an earlobe, \
34	an old man's languid penis with its cobwebby senescence \
35	yet also, Thallus, greedier than any fierce tornado \
36	whenever heavenly sloth reveals the tipsy diners nodding: \
37	just give me back that cloak of mine you pounced upon and pilfered, \
38	the monogrammed set of face-towels too, and all those Spanish napkins, \
39	which---''idiot''---you keep on show as heirlooms: pray unglue them \
40	''this moment'' from your talons and return them to me, \
41	if you don't want your fleecy little flanks and tender poofy paw-waws \
42	all scribbled with the lash of whips, burned with a shameful branding, \
43	on heat (not in your usual way), just like a little skiff that's \
44	caught in a heavy storm at sea, a hurricane of gale force."
45	* HiddenDepths: Read ''Catullus 16'' and then read ''72'', or ''101''. On the other hand, ''16'' has themes reminiscent of Creator/TSEliot's ''The Triumph of Bullshit'', so there's that (in short, "take your personal criticisms and shove them...").
46	* RealMenWearPink: The reason he wrote ''16'' was to prove that writing about kisses didn't make him any less of a man, and he chose to show it with filthy expressions.
47	* ManlyTears: He speaks of shedding them as he performs the rites for his dead brother in "101".
48	* TheMasochismTango: ''85'' which describes Catullus' love/hate relationship with (presumably) Lesbia. Arguably, ''25'' is also an example (essentially, the bastard child of BDSM and GreenEyedMonster).
49	* RomanAClef: Lesbia, the heroine of his romantic poems, is widely believed by modern scholars to be a pseudonym for [[ReallyGetsAround rather infamous matron]] Clodia Pulchra Tertia (a "heroine" of Creator/{{Cicero}}'s probably most famous speech, "Pro Celio"), whom Catullus probably had an affair with.
50	* SophisticatedAsHell: A master of this. Catullus's love poems are beautiful, describing kisses and lovemaking in carefully crafted wordplay and poetry. And then you flip to ''16'' where the first line is "one of the filthiest expressions ever written in Latin" (though he drops the C-word in ''97'', and many, ''many'' references to the unmanly vice of the Greeks).
51	* TakeThat: His entire genre of invective poems: writings meant to take potshots at people such as Julius Caesar and Cicero.
52	* {{Tsundere}}: Poem 85 ("Odi et amo" or I hate you and I love you) neatly distils the essence of this trope into two lines.
53	-->''I hate and love. You wonder, perhaps, why I'd do that?\
54	I have no idea. I just feel it. I am crucified.''
55	* VitriolicBestBuds: ''16'' reveals this side of his relationship with Furius and Aurelius, although it's probably all in good fun. Most of his "Furius and Aurelius cycle" contains insults and invectives towards his friends, though ''16'', where he basically [[DisproportionateRetribution threatens them with homosexual rape]] [[ClusterFBomb in the filthiest Latin possible]] over CreativeDifferences, ''does'' stand out.
56	* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: In ''84'', he mocks someone who is putting on a posh accent and miserably failing.
57	--> "'Hopportunity' he was saying whenever he wished to say 'opportunity' \
58	And 'ambush' Arrius was saying 'hambush,' \
59	And then he was hoping that he had spoken wonderfully \
60	Whenever he said 'hambush' with as much effort as he could \
61	I believe, thus his mother, thus his free uncle, \
62	Thus his maternal grandfather and grandmother had spoken. \
63	This man having been posted to Syria, everyone's ears found relief: \
64	They were hearing the same thing more softly and more lightly, \
65	Nor afterwards were they themselves fearing such words, \
66	When suddenly the horrible message is brought that: \
67	The Ionian waves, afterwards Arrius had gone there, \
68	Now were no longer Ionian but... 'Hionian'!"
69	** 2,000 years later, the character Eliza Doolittle does the same in Film/MyFairLady, and it's just as funny: "In 'Artford, 'Ereford, and 'Ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly ''hever'' 'appen!"

Context Creator / Catullus