Line #92 ComicBook/OneHundredAndOneWaysToEndTheCloneSaga


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/rco002_1466059335_6.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:"[[Recap/SpiderManTheAnimatedSeriesS05E12SpiderWarsPart1IReallyReallyHateClones I really, really hate clones]]", says Spider-Man? Well, guess what - So do the writing staff!]]
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4	->''We gotta wrap up ComicBook/TheCloneSaga and make it ''work''!''
5	-->-- '''Ralph Macchio'''[[note]]not to be confused with [[Creator/RalphMacchio the actor of the same name]][[/note]], summing up the sisyphean task our heroes face.
6
7	A one-shot parody comic, written by Mark Bernardo, drawn by Ben Herrera and [[CreditsGag tolerated by]] Bob Harras in 1997, just after the end of ComicBook/TheCloneSaga, but set right before the writers settled on an ending. The premise is that everyone in the Creator/{{Marvel}} offices is pitching in to put an end to the messy KudzuPlot that they created [[ImpossibleTask in a way that satisfies all readers, fills all plot holes and changes the status quo in a beneficial way.]] It's as zany as you'd expect.
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9	----
10	!Tropes included in ''101 Ways to End the Clone Saga'':
11	* AccidentalMisnaming: Upon recovering in the hospital during Todd [=DeZago=]'s solution, Peter asks Betty Brant for a mirror to check his hair, only to call her Becky.
12	-->'''Peter:''' ''(thinking)'' Okay. So maybe not ''all'' of the early memories are there...
13	* ActuallyAGoodIdea: "Next thing, you tell me maybe [[ComicBook/{{Mephisto}} DEVIL]] make you do it, ''heh''?"
14	* AffectionateParody: It wasn't a very good time to be in the Marvel offices back then, and this comic wastes no time lampooning the situation.
15	* AmbiguousCloneEnding: Howard Mackie proposes this, but the other writers don't go for it.
16	* AmbiguousSituation: What happened to make Peter wash up on New York's shores in Howard Mackie's take on the ending is never explained.
17	* ArcWelding: Two of the ideas try to connect the Clone Saga's resolution to the ongoing-at-the-time Master Programmer arc, one of which is the "Mary Jane was a hologram the whole time" world. Another attempts to tie it to the upcoming ComicBook/{{Onslaught}} arc, and yet another uses an old ''ComicBook/MarvelTeamUp'' story arc from 1976 to write Peter out.
18	* ArtisticLicenseBiology: Both [=DeZago=]'s idea and the Mephisto solution. If Peter and Ben are the same person, Seward Trainer's tests should have picked up on it, since they would have the same mitochondrial DNA. The comic portrays him as a hack to explain this even though he was previously stated to be one of the nation's top geneticists. Granted, Peter David does [[LampshadeHanging point out the mistake]] and the writers ''are'' willing to pull anything so long as it gets the book back on track.
19	* AsYouKnow: Tom Lyle recaps the events that had been going on in the comics at that time (up to the point before the last few stories were published). Later on, Greenberg also begins talking like a narrative caption (which is {{Lampshade\|Hanging}}d by the other characters).
20	* BackInTheSaddle: Tom's proposition shows Peter putting on his old suit once again in order to assist Ben, despite acknowledging his wife would kill him if she knew. [[EnforcedTrope The story actually needs him to do this]] for its [[StableTimeLoop big twist]] to work, since Peter is then sent back to the past without his memories of the last five years and assumes he is the clone he fought, who ''was'' wearing the costume.
21	* BeatPanel: The staff is shocked into StunnedSilence for one panel after Creator/PeterDavid lists off all the {{Plot Hole}}s in the Mephisto solution.
22	* BigDamnHeroes: Green Goblin (Phil Urich), Firestar, Black Cat and Peter!Spider-Man show up rather out of nowhere to help Ben!Spider-Man defeat Judas Traveler, Scrier, Carnage, and the Host during Tom's idea.
23	* BigWhat: In response to the TimeyWimeyBall presented by their past version, both Peter and Ben go "What!" in a big speech bubble, while Seward Trainer massages his temples in frustration.
24	* BitingTheHandHumor: The story is a pretty raw look at the chaos that the Marvel offices were suffering from due to the Clone Saga, complete with apathetic editors and frustrated writers.
25	* BreakingTheFourthWall: Carnage kills Traveler while he's in the midst of proposing "Maximum Carnage 2".
26	--> '''Carnage:''' Now you've gone too far, "boss"! Do you realize I didn't see one red cent of ''royalty money'' for that [[VideoGame/MaximumCarnage game]]?
27	* BrickJoke: When Peter David shows up in Ralph's office to discuss continuity issues with the writers, he mentions S.H.I.E.L.D. in passing, and [[ClueFromEd an editor's footnote]] pops up attempting to helpfully define its acronym, only stumble and leave ("Supreme -- no, Strategic Headquarters -- no. I'll get back to you...Ralf"). Five pages later, during an irrelevant, asteriskless panel where the Master Programmer reveals himself as the mastermind behind the Clone Saga, another footnote appears, finally defining S.H.I.E.L.D. as Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate, as well as apologizing for interrupting the story.
28	* ClonesArePeopleToo: The original plan following the ''Maximum Clonage'' arc is to give Peter a happy ending with Mary Jane and allow Ben to continue being the 'real' Peter as far as the world is concerned.
29	* ClueFromEd: This being a parody of Marvel's writing, there are several, most notably the one regarding S.H.I.E.L.D.
30	* ComicalOverreacting: In response to the idea that [[CloningBlues clones don't have souls]], Bernardo goes on a rant about the ComicBook/XMen and ''their'' use of clones, from Madeline Pryor to Xavier's current body, and the fact they're not given any guff about it. And, given that the X-Men had finished a similarly-infuriating storyline that ''also'' threw into doubt which one of two characters was a clone for no other reason than to create unnecessary [[StealthPun strife]], [[JerkassHasAPoint he might actually have a point here]].
31	* ContinuityNod:
32	** A Spider-Man in a classic style (read: not nineties) outfit appears in [=DeZago=]'s ImagineSpot and mocks Ben for his outfit having too-large eyes, a result of the increased stylization of his design at the time. "[[LeaningOnTheFourthWall And it looks like they forgot to finish the boots!]]"
33	** Creator/PeterDavid spends the entire story after his appearance talking to himself about continuity bits no one else seems to care about.
34	---> '''Peter David:''' And then there's the matter of the ''[[LegacyCharacter second]]'' [[CListFodder Carrion]]...
35	** Carnage's remark about not receiving royalties for Maximum Carnage may in fact be one to the miniseries ''Venom: Carnage Unleashed'', which features a video game by that name (though starring Carnage) that was created to raise funding for the Ravencroft Institute where Carnage et al. get psychiatric treatment. So he really didn't get any money from it.
36	** "Ski" [[CreatorCameo was a character in]] ''ComicBook/GhostRider'' and another writer [[{{Irony}} recognizes him from there]], and not from working with him. He's not pleased.
37	** A reference to ''Spider-Man'' #59 is [[ClueFromEd footnoted]], with [[SelfDeprecation the editor immediately apologizing for being unable to get through the issue without a single footnote]].
38	* CreditsGag: The opening credits state Bob Harras tolerated this story, rather than presented or approved. In-universe [[HairTriggerTemper he doesn't seem to actually tolerate it at all]]. The "Creator/StanLee presents" header on the opening splash page is also altered to say, "Stan Lee hesitantly presents".
39	* DaChief: Bob Harras is portrayed like this, but to be fair, he is very overworked and Ralph is nowhere to be found, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and he just had triplets]].
40	* DarkAgeOfSupernames: {{Lampshade\|Hanging}}d when a past version of Spider-Man is assumed to be Spidercide. Old-school Pete just says whoever that is has lousy taste in codenames. This being set in UsefulNotes/TheNineties, there are many other examples, such as ComicBook/{{Carnage}}, and {{Trope Maker}}s Killraven and Deathlok are mentioned in passing.
41	* DeadpanSnarker:
42	** Tom [=DeFalco=] shows up with a pile of papers, and the others ask him if, like Peter David, he's come with a list of Plot Holes. He responds by claiming it's actually a Thunderstrike graphic novel.
43	** Spider-Man and his clones also engage in this, natch. Peter at one point remarks that he finds the premise of ''Film/{{Multiplicity}}'' [[{{Irony}} hard to swallow]].
44	** When Ski is [[CannotTellFictionFromReality mistaken as a]] ''ComicBook/GhostRider'' [[CreatorCameo character]], he sarcastically claims he's still upset over being left out of the ''ComicBook/OfficialHandbookOfTheMarvelUniverse''. Of course, that's assuming he wasn't [[SkewedPriorities being]] [[SeriousBusiness serious]].
45	* DroppedABridgeOnHim: For some reason Ski thinks it's a good idea to just let a [[ComicBook/XMen sentinel]] squash Ben like a bug... er, arachnid... during ''ComicBook/{{Onslaught}}'', while Tom [=DeFalco=] would rather [[CloneDegeneration let Ben melt suddenly]] and be done with it.
46	* DumbStruck: Ralph is reduced to a babbling mess due to Tom Lyle's crazy idea. He proceeds to ruin his meal by filling it with salt inadvertently.
47	* EasyAmnesia: Howard Mackie makes "Peter" forget whether he's the real Pete or not, after an explosion during a battle with Kaine rendered him unconscious on a beach.
48	* TheEnd: The story closes with a traditional-for-Marvel "The ever-lovin' end!"
49	* EurekaMoment: The story ends with the writers [[spoiler: deciding to use the ComicBook/GreenGoblin in some way]].
50	* FakeBoobs: Ben jokes that CListFodder villainess Stunner's breasts are a result of her stuffing her bra.
51	* FakeUltimateHero: Ralph strides into the office like some kind of movie star, but quickly proves to be out of his element.
52	* FantasticDrug: [[ComicBook/FantasticFour The Watcher]] appears in the ending to comment on the story's outlandishness and states he has never witnessed an alternate reality such as this before, "[[NoodleIncident not even the time I sniffed Badoonian Glue back on Aldebaran-4]]".
53	* FemaleGaze: The real Peter washes up on a beach in Howard Mackie's idea, and one of the beachgoers comment on his memetically-nice butt.
54	* FloatingHeadSyndrome: The cover portrays the Marvel staff (Ralph Macchio, Tom Lyle, and Bob Harras, to be specific) looming menacingly over several Spider-Clones.
55	* ForegoneConclusion: The story was published after the ending to the Clone Saga, so we all know which idea they're going to pick, and boy is it a dumb one.
56	* FramingDevice: The writers and other staffers joining together to invent a good ending to the Clone Saga serves as the framing device for the stories.
57	* FridgeLogic:[[invoked]] Peter David lists a cavalcade of these in response to the idea of using Mephisto to send Peter back in time and give Ben Peter's memories, including that Mephisto can't actually show up because in Marvel continuity back then, he was actually dead.
58	* FunetikAksent: Tom [=DeFalco=]'s thick New York accent.
59	* FunnyForeigner: The waiter who serves the staff in the restaurant they visit later on definitely doesn't have english as his first language.
60	* GallowsHumor: The idea to make an entire issue about "[[SelfReferentialHumor 101 Uses for a Dead Clone]]".
61	* GetAHoldOfYourselfMan: Ralph gets beaned with a wad of paper to wake him up from his stupor.
62	* TheGreatestStoryNeverTold[=/=]HeroOfAnotherStory: A past version of Peter shows up, explains that Peter and Ben are his own past selves due to TimeyWimeyBall and asks for them to come with him to fix the timeline. This is an expansion of (and RetCon to) a previous time travel story Spidey engaged in, but the version we read in ''Marvel Team-Up'' was much shorter and Peter certainly never wound up creating duplicates of himself during it.
63	* GoodOldWays: Tom [=DeFalco=] states this about himself and proposes a very blunt solution that will get the job done without concern for continuity or FridgeLogic because he's from the old school.
64	* HairTriggerTemper: Bob Harras is ''not'' happy.
65	--> '''Harras:''' My hands are either on the slinky or around your NECK, okay, Greenberg?
66	* HandWave: Howard Mackie's idea is entirely based around this.
67	* HeroOnHiatus: Creator/RalphMacchio is M.I.A. at the beginning of the story, and his coworkers presume he's procrastinating in his house.
68	* ImagineSpot: The story is a series of {{Imagine Spot}}s of potential solutions to the Clone Saga.
69	* ImpostorExposingTest: Seward Trainer's tests of Pete and Ben's genomes were ostensibly meant to figure out which of them was the clone, but the Marvel writers who aren't Peter David don't really care about that.
70	* INeedAFreakingDrink: Seward Trainer wonders where his bottle of Wild Turkey is. One wonders if he needs a drink to forget he just found out he's not actually a good geneticist or if he just wants to forget the massive TimeyWimeyBall Past Pete just dropped on him.
71	* KudzuPlot: A lot of the ideas are this, in true Clone Saga fashion. Not even the characters have the patience to process some of the in-Universe {{Ass Pull}}s the writers throw at them.
72	-->'''Judas Traveller:''' Peter Parker...Ben Reilly. The time for deception is over. The time has come... for the ''truth.''\
73	'''Ben and Peter: ''[[OhNoNotAgain AGAIN??!]]'''''
74	* LampshadeHanging:
75	** Mephisto questions why he, a devil, would dress as a monk, though he praises the ironic touch.
76	** Peter David explains that Mephisto is currently dead and not able to appear in comics right now, and goes "Yes, I know [[DeathIsCheap it's comics]]''.
77	** "Greenberg, what have I told you about talking like [[AsYouKnow a narrative caption]]?"
78	* LargeHam: Todd [=DeZago=] is apparently very excited to lay out his solution to the rest of the cast.
79	-->'''Todd [=DeZago=]:''' ''Boooooy!'' What a solution!
80	* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Past Pete comments on the ugly feet of Ben's outfit, and Ben is relieved at Seward Trainer's explanation wasn't something idiotic like [[ComicBook/{{Cable}} he was his time-traveling son from the future]].
81	* TheLongList: The list that Peter David prepared with various continuity issues, which is compared to a GraphicNovel due to its size.
82	* TheManBehindTheMan: Master Programmer (who was [[spoiler: revealed as Doctor Octopus in the comics]] tries to pull this on the Clone Saga, but Marvel's lawyers stop the whole thing to keep his identity a mystery. In the end, they use [[spoiler: The Green Goblin to do the same]].
83	* MeaningfulName: One of the ideas proposes Judas Traveler had this all along, with Judas referring to how he betrayed Peter's trust and Traveler being about how he's travelled the earth and the timestream looking for repentance.
84	* MyFriendsAndZoidberg: Peter David greets his colleagues with "gentlemen... Ralph... Good afternoon".
85	* MyFutureSelfAndMe: A time-traveling Spider-Man meets his future selves (through they are his present selves to us) in one of the ideas, while Seward Trainer discovers Judas Traveler is his evil future self in another.
86	* MySignificanceSenseIsTingling: Ben Reilly uses a "Long-winded expository narrative sense" in one of the ideas. This is naturally followed by Past!Peter going on an expository InfoDump for a whole page.
87	* NotNowKiddo: This is Ben's response when told that he's letting Electro get away.
88	* OlderThanTheyLook: The StableTimeLoop solutions cause this to apply to Ben. If Ben is the present-day Peter Parker sent back five years ago, he should look five years older than Peter, and yet he doesn't. None of the writers realize this until [[Creator/PeterDavid another Peter]] points it out for them.
89	* OldShame:[[invoked]] While having his memory restored by Scrier, Spidey questions what he was on when he designed the Spider-Armor.
90	* OneSteveLimit: There's two writers named Tom in this story ([=DeFalco=] and Lyle), two Bobs (Bob Harras, and Lyle mentions kicking an idea around with Bob Budiansky), as well as Peter David who shares a first name with Peter Parker. Naturally, par for the course in RealLife.
91	* OneTractMind: J. Jonah Jameson, as usual, attempts to find some way to blame things on Spider-Man in the original plan for Ben Reilly following Maximum Clonage.
92	* OnlyInItForTheMoney: [=DeFalco=] states he'll put up with any idea so long as the money keeps coming in.
93	* OurLawyersAdvisedThisTrope: One of the ideas is just about to spoil the Master Programmer's identity, only for one of Marvel's lawyers to [[PaintingTheMedium slap a big "censored" sticker on the panel]] and prevent the reader from being spoiled.
94	* PaintingTheMedium:
95	** When Peter David mentions the ComicBook/{{SHIELD}} helicarrier, a note pops up trying to explain the acronym, but Ralf can't remember what it actually stood for, and promises to come back once he does. Much later a new narration bubble shows up with zero prompting in a panel with no mention of S.H.I.E.L.D. with the complete acronym.
96	** The instance where a lawyer rips through the page to tell Ralph there's no way in hell he's spoiling the ending to one of their [[CashCowFranchise profitable storylines]] in a gag one-shot.
97	* PenName: One of the writers signed his idea with the name "Harvey Briscoll", which is called out as an obvious [[UnfortunateName fake name]].
98	* ThePiratesWhoDontDoAnything: Peter David finishes his summation of the PlotHoles in the Mephisto story by questioning how acclaimed geneticist Seward Trainer never seems to have a job.
99	* PlaceWorseThanDeath: [=DeFalco=] threatens the staff with cabfare to DC if they don't reach a consensus quickly. It's unclear if he means [[UsefulNotes/WashingtonDC Washington]] or the [[Creator/DCComics Distinguished Competition]], but regardless, they treat it like this.
100	* {{Prequel}}: The story is set in the past - ''[[RealLife our]]'' past, showing a satirical version of the events that led to the Clone Saga's resolution. The real one had concluded just a few months prior.
101	* TheReveal: All of the ending ideas, from the outlandish to the REALLY outlandish.
102	* RoundRobin: There is a segment where three of the staff build on a single idea.
103	* SelfDeprecation: Not only for the [[DorkAge Clone Saga]], but several things, including the similarly complex (and dumb) storylines in ComicBook/XMen, and Spider-Man's design change to be more dynamic causing him to look [[OffModel deformed]] in certain comics. And of course, to itself when the Watcher states [[WhoWouldWantToWatchUs even he would do well to avert his gaze from it]].
104	* ShoutOut:
105	** Glenn Greenberg nervously recites a lyric from a slinky commercial jingle in response to Harras insisting he'll keep moving one around to relieve stress.
106	** Glenn Greenberg and Tom Lyle get into an argument over ''Franchise/PlanetOfTheApes'' while Mark Bernardo is on the phone with Todd [=DeZago=].
107	* StableTimeLoop: [[EnigmaticMinion Scrier]] sends Peter back to the ending of the original Clone Saga to complete one of these.
108	* StatingTheSimpleSolution: The original plan to have Ben change his name back to Peter and come clean with the public about being cloned is the simplest and most reasonable premise compared to his current state in the storyline, but is contested by the Marvel writers due to the FridgeLogic of it.
109	* StatusQuoIsGod: Most of the proposed ideas try to revert the "Peter was a clone and [[ComicBook/ScarletSpider Ben]] was the real one" RetCon, and this is what they went with in RealLife. They are also very interested in making Peter single again, which Glenn Greenberg points out would infuriate Mary Jane's fans.
110	* StealthInsult: The staff balks at [=DeZago=]'s idea, and one of them wonders if there's a gas leak in his area.
111	* TemptingFate: Bernardo pleads to the One-Above-All for [[DaChief Bob Harras]] to not ask him where Ralph is. He immediately asks him where Ralph is.
112	* TimeyWimeyBall: [=DeZago=]'s idea is to retcon Peter into being a time-displaced version of Ben, though he doesn't explain how they ended forgetting what happened. Surely there's a [[TheGreatestStoryNeverTold Greatest Story Never Told]] in there.
113	* TitleDrop: Almost - they try to get a one-shot titled "101 Uses for a Dead Clone" off the ground.
114	* {{Understatement}}: Ben Reilly's only response to discovering that Mephisto just tricked him into selling his soul is "Wow. This kinda stinks".
115	* TheUnreveal: Some of the ideas go this route, throwing their hands in the air about the "which of them is the real Peter" situation.
116	* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: In Howard Mackie's idea, a blonde beachgoer asks everyone to get back to their game and sarcastically remarks, "Like you've never seen a half-dead guy in [[CityOfAdventure New York]] before."
117	* VariantCover: InUniverse, the marketing guys suggest cushioning the blow of Ben's [[DroppedABridgeOnHim unceremonious death]] with a chromium cover, and then propose a "Self-Replicating" cover that [[ShapedLikeItself clones itself]] when dipped in water.
118	* VerbalTic: The waiter serving the staff during the latter part of the framing device ends most of his sentences with "heh?"
119	* TheVerse: The story is set in Earth-1218, ostensibly "our" earth, though not really, as established in other [[ComicBook/Marvel1985 series]].
120	* VillainExitStageLeft: After claiming Spider-Man was ''definitely'' gonna die this time, Electro skedaddles at the first opportunity when Spidey (Ben Reilly, that is) starts getting memory flashes of events that happened to Peter.
121	* WhatMeasureIsANonHuman: ComicBook/BlackCat is disgusted to find out she was doing ''[[UnusualEuphemism something]]'' that she will not say with a clone.
122	* WhoWritesThisCrap: The Watcher is disturbed by the events of the story.
123	* WolverinePublicity: Carnage shows up in one of the proposed endings solely because of his popularity, and it's so clear a shoehorn even the characters realize it. Carnage ends up murdering Traveler so that he doesn't make a VideoGame/MaximumCarnage sequel.
124	* WritingByTheSeatOfYourPants:[[invoked]] Tom [=DeFalco=] isn't worried about any of the plot holes his idea to have Ben [[DroppedABridgeOnHim abruptly die]] from CloneDegeneration fails to address, saying they'll just make it up as they go along. [[SarcasmMode I mean, it's worked well for them so far, hasn't it]]?

Context ComicBook / OneHundredAndOneWaysToEndTheCloneSaga