History WarpThatAesop / Anime

[[redirect:DarthWiki/WarpThatAesop]]

'''''[[IncomingHam WELCOME]]''''', '''[[LadiesAndGerms ladies, gentlemen, and tropers]], to DarthWiki's Favorite GameShow'''...

'''''[[PowerEchoes WARP... THAT... AESOP!!!!!]]'''''

'''Anime Round! Ready.... GO!'''

%%
%%
%% NOTE: Before adding a warped aesop, try not to make a serious attempt at finding one.
%%
%%


Shows that have their own pages

[[index]]
* WarpThatAesop/{{Dragonball}}
* WarpThatAesop/{{Naruto}}
* WarpThatAesop/{{Pokemon}}
[[/index]]
----
[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Types of Anime]]

* '''ShonenGenre''': {{Idiot Hero}}es make the best protagonists because [[ThisLoserIsYou any teenage boy and preteen can relate to them]]. Because teenage boys are stupid, unthinking and in love with themselves for it.
** GirlsHaveCooties. Thus there is nothing they can actually ''do'' to advance the plot aside from pining for the protagonist from afar, serving as decorations or healing. Girls who take action are evil bitches and must be dealt with.
** Also don't skimp on the explosions and the phallic symbols such as {{BFS}} and {{BFG}}. It's not like kids can catch up to the implications of sex.
** Despite your speech about hard work, your determination to be more powerful and the friends who believed in you to be more stronger, HardWorkHardlyWorks... Because you have all the powers to be stronger with nothing.
** Being a protagonist means your parents are either dead and/or will happily abandon you.
** Recruiting immature prepubescent children into your military is perfectly acceptable.
* '''ShojoGenre''': Teenage girls are vapid, [[HormoneAddledTeenager hormonal]], [[BastardBoyfriend masochistic]] and only concerned with [[AcceptableFeminineGoalsAndTraits beauty and relationships]]. Therefore, don't make them ''do'' anything. Just have them getting [[LoveTriangle tangled in]] [[LoveDodecahedron their relationships]] and unable to stir themselves from it. That's all they're good at.
** Alternatively, make them bubbly princesses, battling with an [[EvilMatriarch abusive mother]] and coming on top with the power of [[RomanticPlotTumor LIKE-OMG TRUE LOVE]]!
* '''{{Josei}}''': We don't need this. Adult women have nothing to talk about but their periods, their kids, their family and all kinds of uninteresting, unimportant shit.
** If they're unmarried, maybe they can work and all but they're mainly shallow bitches who are just waiting for Mr Right, much like ''BridgetJones''. And remember the golden rule: she's NeverASelfMadeWoman.
* '''Many {{harem| genre}} series:''' The one who loves you the most is the one who [[{{Tsundere}} physically and verbally abuses you]] the most.
** If you are caught in any kind of [[NotWhatItLooksLike seemingly indecent situation]], you will be punished for it. Regardless on whether or not it was actually your fault.
** Trips to the the bathroom will usually end with girls seeing you as a pervert.
** The best relationships to hold are many and shallow - after all, if you can have eight sort-of-girlfriends who constantly provide you with sexy encounters, that's surely better than one actual girlfriend, right? After all, that "accountability" and "serious relationship" nonsense is just for squares who can't work the ladies just like you can!
* '''Every ToBeAMaster series ever:''' Don't set your own goals, let society set them for you before you're even old enough to question it!
** [[TruthInTelevision This is exactly how Japanese society (and western feudal societies as well) worked for well over a thousand years.]] [[ValuesDissonance Think about that.]] [[FridgeHorror Yeah, think about that.]]
* If you're not badass or you're a flat character, you're useless.
* A {{Tsundere}} or a FauxActionGirl makes you a [[RonTheDeathEater horrible, irredeemable character]], but being a {{jerkass}} [[DracoInLeatherPants villain who commits the worst atrocities]] [[DoubleStandard because you have "cool" traits, is perfectly fine.]]
* '''{{Hentai}} in general''': [[EverythingTryingToKillYou Everything is out to rape you]].
** But you actually like it.
** Only if you're female. If you're male you're either the rapist, the guy whose girlfriend cheats on you with the rapist, or [[{{Uke}} so unmanly]] that the rapist considers you to be close enough.
* '''BoysLove aka {{Yaoi}}''': [[{{seme}} A]] [[ManlyGay manly]] [[{{seme}} man]] and his [[{{uke}} effeminate boyfriend who gets penetrated during sex]], see kids, [[UnfortunateImplications even gays need someone to be the man/girl in the relationship]].
[[/folder]]
----
[[folder: A - G]]

* ''Literature/{{Another}}'': Social ostracism in high school isn't bullying, but a legitimate safety measure. [[spoiler:[[MurderIsTheBestSolution Murder works even better though]]]].
* ''Anime/AquarionEvol'': Falling in love is wrong, for the BigBad will come and kill them.
** And you're supposed to apologize to him since his fiancé reincarnation fell in love with you.
* ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'': If you desperately want a cat, but [[AnimalsHateHim house cats really hate you]], you should go to a national park and take a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iriomote_Cat critically endangered]] [[AllAnimalsAreDomesticated wild cat]] home with you.
** High school girls are insane.
*** High school ''teachers'' are even ''more'' off-kilter.
** That creepy paedophilic high school teacher who's always coming on to his female students? There's nothing wrong with him at all, he's just good for a laugh! So don't report him to the authorities or anything, because there's no way anything bad could possibly come of allowing this man to continue to teach underage girls.
* ''LightNovel/{{Baccano}}!'': [[DamnItFeelsGoodToBeAGangster Organized crime is]] ''[[WorldOfBadass awesome]]''.
** Even disorganized can pay. Pointless arson can make you immortal!
*** [[TruthInTelevision Ever heard of]] [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herostratus Herostratus?]]
* ''LightNovel/BakaToTestToShoukanjuu'': Even if a girl orders you around all the time and almost kills you daily if you even look at another girl, it's totally okay if she's hot or shy occasionally, and your friends will enable her and try to trap you in a marriage with her.
* ''Manga/{{Basilisk}}'' : if you happen to be born as a ninja, your whole life is already totally fucked. Have a nice death.
** Once you become aware of the bigger picture that everyone you've ever known and loved was senselessly sacrificed for, the only option you have is to senselessly sacrifice yourself as well.
* ''{{Berserk}}'': Did thousands of innocent civilians just die because you killed the person protecting them from a horde of demons immune to normal weapons? It's not your fault, they were just too weak-willed to survive anyways!
** Real friends would ''want'' you to sell your AND their soul to Hell in order for you to achieve your personal goals in life. [[ItsAllAboutMe That ain't selfishness]] - that's the real PowerOfFriendship!
** But, no matter what life brings to you, you can always triumph over your trials, [[ScrewDestiny because causality has no hold over you in the end]]. At the end of the day, the bad guys will lose, [[JusticeWillPrevail justice will be served to the suffering]], [[TheGoodGuysAlwaysWin and the good guys will triumph over all]], [[BigDamnHeroes because they come in just in the nick of time]] [[EverybodyLives to save everybody]] from the BigBad. [[AlwaysSaveTheGirl Including the girl]]. [[EarnYourHappyEnding IT WILL HAPPEN]]. ''[[HappilyEverAfter ALWAYS]]''. '''[[BabiesEverAfter WITH BABIES]]'''.
* ''BibliothecaMysticaDeDantalian'': If a situation has nothing to do with you and you posses the power to resolve said situation, don't even bother. Everything will work itself out.
* ''Manga/BlackLagoon'': Women are insane.
** [[NiceGuy Nice Guys]] [[ThisLoserIsYou suck]]. If you want to get out alive you have to be just as nasty as the people around you.
* ''Anime/BlackRockShooter'': The best way to solve the emotional problems of others is to have your darker persona murder them.
* ''Manga/{{Bleach}}'': You know that sweet-natured girl who recently developed [[WindsOfDestinyChange special powers]] the BigBad is sure to take an interest in for purposes of reactivating the long-dormant ArtifactOfDoom? Well, whatever you do, don't sit her down and explain the situation to her, don't take any kind of measures to ensure her safety, and most certainly don't even bother to keep track of her whereabouts or status. We're sure it'll all work out just fine in the end...
** Yeah, when that girl's disappears she is immediately assumed to have [[FaceHeelTurn joined the enemy]].
** You know that execution order you allegedly received from those 46 big-wigs you practically never get to meet with in person? Yeah, just go ahead and carry it out without so much as getting confirmation or authentication on it. Afterall, what are the odds that [[BatmanGambit some scoundrel and his co-conspirators could be playing you for fools.]]
** It's okay to stand their and do nothing while your comrades are unintentionally ganging up on a fellow ally.
** It's perfectly normal to wake up and see major portions of your city destroyed by a car accident. DO NOT QUESTION IT!
** Getting stabbed in the chest makes you stronger.
** It's okay for '''''EVERYBODY''''' to put their faith in a 15 year-old.
** It's perfectly reasonable for your society to be run by a group of 46 people whose authority can never be question no matter how incredibly bad their judgement calls frequently turn out to be. Also, a senile old fool is just the person you want to be the supreme commander of your society's military.
*** [[TruthInTelevision That's basically how non-democratic societies actually work.]]
** Silence woman! Sit back, StayInTheKitchen, and watch me rescue you whether you want me to or not.
** If violence isn't solving all your problems you simply aren't using enough of it.
** What a woman is a MasterSwordman?! Foolish woman, know your place for you are not the strongest. You're just a stepping stone.
* ''{{Blood-C}}'': Don't even bother trying to protect the people you love. You will fail and they will die horribly.
* ''BlueGender'': Through the use of sustainable technology and orbital biodomes, one can preserve our planet's integrity even when humanity's energy and resource requirements begin to exceed the planet's ability to fulfill them.
* ''LightNovel/BokuWaTomodachiGaSukunai'': Hey, wanna make friends? Well, the best way to do that it form a club and then manipulate and abuse every member frequently. Bonus points if a handful happen to have egos for you to go out of your way to bruise by humiliating them at every given opportunity. No one will ever call you out on it. Even better if one of them ''happens to be a child''.
* ''TheBorrowerArrietty'': Trying to open up and connect with other people will only scare them away, at best, leave you vulnerable to being hurt at worst, and is ultimately futile as we all end up alone in the end, anyway. Which is probably for the best.
* ''CatSoup'': '''Never''' poop. When you poop, weird and possibly symbolic stuff will occur.
** It's okay to eat your friends, just so long as you share with them.
* ''[[ChisSweetHome Chi's Sweet Home]]'': Screw landlords and their dumb rules - everyone should have the right to keep a cute kitten at home!
* ''LightNovel/ACertainMagicalIndex'': Every problem is solvable by [[ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer a punch to the face.]]
** Specifically, nuns and priests should be fed a knuckle-sandwich regularly to keep away their innate evilness.
** Plus, [[DefeatMeansFriendship beating up women makes them love you.]]
** Science is bad. Religion is worse!
* ''Anime/CodeGeass'': Only by abandoning all morality and honor can evil be defeated.
** East Asia can only count on each other, as the rest of the world is either unimportant or evil.
*** They still need to be lead by Westerns as they are too weak and useless to stand up.
** Women are useless, only able to be an extension of the man, and will only cause trouble if given a free opinion.
*** Alternate Interpretation: All women secretly desire to be June Cleaver. Any woman who tries to act strong or independent is just putting on airs and needs to find a man and learn to embrace her inner housewife before she gets hurt.
** Democracy will cause you to elect someone incompetent like Ohgi.
*** Speaking of Ohgi, it's perfectly okay to get ahead by turning on someone.
*** Also speaking of Ohgi, someone who betrayed you, tried to kill you, and who influenced you to betray your leader is a great wife.
** If you have deep, personal problems with others, ''do not'' talk it out. Instead, continue your morally ambiguous plan unheeded while occasionally angsting about it.
** If your parents aren't misguided and deeply scarred from the upbringing they tried to shelter you from, they're monsters who abandoned you and you should punish the rest of the world for it.
*** Your siblings want to take everything you've worked for. But that's ok, they're too spineless to actually do it if it's too dangerous.
** It is perfectly ok to enslave or kill millions, hold world leaders hostage and brainwash anyone with the power to stop you for the sake of world peace.
** Only those with RoyalBlood can affect real change in the world.
** Hate will save the world.
** The U.N. should be run by 15 year old girls with ties to revolutionary groups that have questionable records in adhering to international laws.
** The best way to make a better world for your dear sister is to have the world view you, the brother she loves and respects most of all, as evil.
** [[ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies To keep those close to you safe and out of danger]] you must become a total JerkAss.
** It doesn't matter how many war crimes you commit, or inocent lives you directly or indirectly took. If your MoralityPet little sister is killed with her reputation in tatters. You are automatiocally absolved of any and all responsibility for your past evil misdeeds.
** You can't hope to change the system from within because the ruling class is made up of a) racist, evil assholes or b) naïve idiots. The only way to change the world for the better is to become a terrorist. Having giant robots and superpowers helps too.
** When all is going according to plan [[TemptingFate do not comment on it]] because the universe loves proving you wrong.
** The best way to show your devotion to sweet, pacifist girls, is to start a bloodbath and pretend you did it for them (at least three girls get this treatment: Nunnally and Shirley for Lelouch, Euphie for Suzaku).
* ''{{Claymore}}'': [[ScienceIsBad Doing unspeakable experiments on little orphans and secretly oppressing an entire continent's worth of inhabitants with monsters that you created is ]]''[[ScienceIsBad totally]]'' [[ScienceIsBad fine]] [[LensmanArmsRace so long as it'll result in your side winning that war!]]
* ''Anime/DeadmanWonderland'': What, someone survives a grisly massacre? He survived, that obviously makes him the murderer.
* ''DesertPunk'': "Remember kids! Every man knows when to... '''''RUN LIKE A LITTLE BITCH!'''''"
* ''Manga/DeathNote'': To be the greatest detective of them all and save the world, you need to base all of your assumptions off of the findings of dead people. Hey, they're dead, nobody will know that evidence isn't yours--you can be a hero!
** [[BunnyEarsLawyer To be the best in your field you should ignore personal hygiene and show up to work in the clothes you slept in.]]
** ''LightNovel/AnotherNote'': Hide out in your safe house and have the FairCop you've recruited do all the work and then claim credit for solving the case when it's through. If you are the law no one can question you.
** Another one for ''LightNovel/AnotherNote'' [[TheFarmerAndTheViper If you rescue the poor little orphan]] [[AllOfTheOtherReindeer who doesn't fit in]], give him a home, steady meals, a stable environment, and the very best in education he will become your obsessed stalker [[spoiler: who commits multiple homicides [[AttentionWhore just to get your attention.]]]]
** Being an autistic orphan guarantees that you're a genius.
** And if you`re not a genius, you`re useless, even if you are very good at your job and have lots of experience.
** Self preservation is for pussies. A real detective announces his presence and harasses their mass-murder-suspect-with-an-unknown-weapon constantly.
** Don't try to [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans drastically change the world for the better]] unless you are prepared to turn into a [[MagnificentBastard sociopathic,]] [[AGodAmI delusional,]] [[MemeticMutation potato chip munching]] maniac.
** Also, GIRLZ IZ STOOPID.
*** Extension: Women are weak, incompetent and need a man to lead them (and even then they are prone to making mistakes). Once they find him, they should StayInTheKitchen.
** If you've fallen in love with someone naturally the appropriate response is to stalk that person, have your crazy friend threaten to kill him, and dress like a whore. Your victim (I'm sorry, ''BOYFRIEND'') will grow to love you eventually.
** ALL PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED WITH HANDCUFFS. If it isn't working, the handcuffs aren't small enough.
** Never mind if your ideals are completely correct--if you develop [[AGodAmI a God complex]], you must die and your work must be undone. You just wanted to make the world a better place and had to make some insignificant-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things sacrifices? Sorry, you're not a nice person, so you lose.
** [[BrokenAesop Killing criminals is only wrong if]] ''[[VigilanteMan Kira]]'' [[CantGetAwayWithNuthin does it]]. [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem If you have a badge and official sanction it's a-okay (you can break any number of rules that you like!)]] and [[NotSoDifferent nevermind if you get justice for the families of the victims neglected by a corrupt system, we will execute you]] [[HypocriticalHumor like the criminal you are.]]
** Writing in books is dangerous and evil. It's not a pretty picture. (Dramatic and stylalized, perhaps, but not pretty.) Don't do it. Ever.
** Mass-murder is AWESOME!!! There is NOTHING it cannot do. Start slaughtering people today and you too can have a [[TheDitz hot]] [[GenkiGirl girlfriend]], steady job, [[FanDumb legions of devoted followers]], and (drumroll please) . . . world peace! Even if you die! That's right, kids, [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans utopia]] can be yours, just make sure you start out by bumping off criminals . . . that way, you'll be justified no matter how much of a monster you become. [[BloodyBloodyAndrewJackson Everything you say]] and do [[BloodyBloodyAndrewJackson is right!]] Just remember these [[RuleOfThree three simple rules]]: 1) if you think they deserve to die, they deserve to die, 2) if they get in your way, they deserve to die, and 3) if the world isn't a utopia yet, that just means you haven't killed enough people! [[SchmuckBait Act now!]] Utopia is just a drawn out mass-murder session killing away!
** The only thing more epic than writing in a notebook . . . is [[MemeticMutation eating potato chips.]] Unless you repeatedly shout "delete" whilst writing in said notebook, then the sheer epic-ness might just make you come to fruition.
** Matsuda is an idiot.
** Do nothing. Don't ever try to change the world for the better. Sit around in your room and play with toys all day and you are sure to win at life.
** If your little sister is ever kidnapped by violent criminals kill her immediately [[spoiler: because if you save her it will lead to your death.]]
** [[DysfunctionJunction If you are really smart then there is somethning wrong with you.]] [[BrokenAce Odds are that you're either evil]] [[BunnyEarsLawyer or crazy]] or both.
** Being a good student and taking notes is an executable offense.
** The L Diet: Eating lots of candy makes you rakishly thin and a genius to boot.
*** Also apparently you can eat nothing but chocolate and still fit into [[PaintedOnPants tight leather pants]].
** [[spoiler: [[BrokenBase Light Yagami / L Lawliet]]]] [[EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory died for your sins.]]
** Smoking kills [[spoiler: getting shot thirty times helps too.]]
** [[HoYay If you ignore your shrill, annoying, possibly murderess "hot girlfriend" and you are chained to an exotic young male detective 24-7... you are gay.]]
** Bored student = future SerialKiller.
** "[[ForGreatJustice Justice]]" apparently means either "mass murder" or "stalking teenage boys." [[WithUsOrAgainstUs Pick a side-we're at war.]]
** No, the PowerOfFriendship will not protect you from Kira.
** Don't pick up trash you find randomly lying around at school.
** Never make mistakes. EVER! If you ever make even ONE mistake it will inevitably, irreparably screw up your life and/or get you killed-probably both. Unless your name is Matsuda...
** On that note, don't ever try to improve yourself. Being the [[ThisLoserIsYou token idiot]] comic relief [[TheWorldsExpertOnGettingKilled is much safer than being a mega-genius.]]
* ''Anime/DigimonAdventure02'': Remember, girls, being a tomboy is bad. HouseWife type girls are the only way to go.
** If the big, ugly monster is about to conquer the world, the best way to defeat it is to make some stupid speeches about your wishes, such as you want to be a kindergarten teacher or a artist. It always works.
* ''Anime/DigimonTamers'': Garbage collectors are evil.
* ''Anime/DigimonFrontier'': Girls are useless. Period.
* ''Anime/DuelMasters'': The path to victory lies not through practice, cunning, skill, or wealth. If you want to be a winner, your number-one priority should be your hair..
* ''Literature/{{Durarara}}'': Using random people from the internet as your own personal army is the optimum way to solve your problems.
** Falling in love with a severed head is sick and wrong; falling in love with a headless body is sweet and romantic.
** Dropping out of school, cutting off contact with all but one of your friends and running away with your girlfriend at fifteen is perfectly acceptable.
* ''ElfenLied'': Genocide solves all your problems.
** It's perfectly acceptable to [[BullyingADragon harass, persecute,]] [[MuggingTheMonster bully, and antagonize]] little girls for their [[AllOfTheOtherReindeer birth defects]] [[WhosLaughingNow and then complain about the]] [[WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds results when the victim snaps and retaliates.]]
** You have to marry your cousin [[ChildhoodMarriagePromise because she made you promise you would when you were like eight.]]
** [[GetAholdOfYourselfMan Slapping]] [[HystericalWoman Hysterical Women]] [[GetAholdOfYourselfMan is good for them]], even if they have every right to FreakOut having just witnessed a gruesome murder, are a rape victim, or end up AloneWithThePsycho who made them a quadruple amputee.
** [[DudeNotFunny Naked mentally retarded girls are funny.]]
** [[MenAreBastards Men are so evil]] that a man who regularly [[MoralEventHorizon euthanizes children]] can be the second-most likable and good male in the world.
** Sometimes murdering people based on how they were born is a moral gray area. After all, they might have been [[FantasticAesop born with a genetic condition that causes them to kill their parents at age three and want to start (and be capable of) single-handedly destroying humanity.]]
** Being a JerkAss means you [[AssholeVictim deserve to die.]]
** HumansAreTheRealMonsters and deserve to die.
** You shouldn't help any injured strangers you come across because chances are they're homicidal maniacs.
** Don't get a puppy - it will lead to you wanting to destroy the human race.
* ''{{Escaflowne}}'':
** The quickest way to stop a war is [[spoiler: a half-naked teenage boy flying overhead.]]
** That actually sounds like it might work.
* ''Manga/FairyTail'': ThePowerOfFriendship is for beating the shit out of people to get revenge for hurting your TrueCompanions, even in the cases where this doesn't actually do anything to protect them and just leads to more of them getting hurt. This will also never have any negative consequences.
* ''VisualNovel/FateStayNight'': Your life has no meaning, unless you try and throw it away at every opportunity. On the bright side, this will make women love you.
** If all else fails, having sex will solve the problem.
* ''VisualNovel/FinalApproach'': Invade a guy's life and suffocate him with unwanted affection 24/7 and he'll grow to love you eventually.
* ''FruitsBasket'': All parents suck, and all adults are worthless and manipulative.
** Or, alternatively, a person should get pity over their situation when it's caused by someone else, but you shouldn't feel anger at whoever ''caused'' the situation in the first place, because that makes ''you'' a bad person.
* ''Manga/FullmetalAlchemist'':
** God still hates you, and this time around he's there personally to mock you as he takes everything from you.
** Having lost an arm and a leg gives you the moral right to berate non-amputee people suffering an emotional breakdown for being {{wangst}}y. After all, if they haven't lost a limb (and got fully functional prostheses which are actually useful in combat and a superpower to boot) what could they know about pain? Don't worry, they'll thank you for opening their eyes afterwards.
** Killing someone for the sake of revenge is a terrible act, which may cause you to go JumpingOffTheSlipperySlope. It's so much better if one of your allies, who doesn't have a personal reason to do it, kills that person.
*** [[Anime.FullmetalAlchemist The 2003 anime]] gives us this:
**** Ed at the Beginning of the Series: I don't believe in revenge. It's pointless.
**** Later on in The Series: What? You won't kill your friend's murderer in an act of revenge. How dare you? You're despicable, clearly you don't care about your friend if you won't engage in pointless murder revenge that isn't going to bring him back anyway.
** Getting drunk and hallucinating may be just the thing you need to stop moping and save the world!
** Even if you didn't want to commit a sin and were literally forced into it God still hates you.
** Taking years off your lifespan is okay if you like the thought of death before losing your virginity. If you want those years back, you gotta steal them back yourself with a red stone mad of human souls.
* ''Anime/FullmetalAlchemist: [[TheMovie Conqueror of Shamballa]]'': It's OK if you make a war and murders possible to find your brother, then ditch your friends and SheIsNotMyGirlfriend forever just to be with him. Also, your DisappearedDad's atrocious death will scar you for two minutes, and you shouldn't tell said brother about it.
** In regards to that first point (starting a war to fulfil your own goals), that's not so much a warping of the movie's aesop but a negation and contradiction of the aesop.
** Also, lung tuberculosis isn't contagious and you should pretend nothing happened should your best friend / brother substitute start puking blood. He only becomes completely dispensable when you find the brother he was a substitute for.
*** Actually, I'm relatively certain it was [[WordOfGod officially stated]] that it wasn't TB.
** The series: God hates you, and once you screw up, you can never, ever be forgiven.
*** Every mistake you have ever made will come back to try and destroy the world.
** It's all your fault. No exceptions.
*** Unless it's your father's fault, it which case you still have to clean up the mess.
** Challenging societal norms is evil and blasphemous, and you'll suffer for it whether it was intentional or not.
* ''LightNovel/FullMetalPanic'': Hey, physical abuse is A-OK as long as it's female on male, but if you ever make her cry you're going straight to hell.
** Also, falling in love and having feelings of humanity makes you uncool, weak, and {{Wangst}}y. Being an [[TheStoic uncaring killing machine]] is much better for the soul.
** Gun control laws are only suggestions. Nobody actually enforces them.
** Being a man is primarily about [[ARealManIsAKiller being a violent, self-centred douche]] and loving oneself for it.
* ''{{Gravitation}}''
** As long as you're doing it to protect someone you love, gang rape and humiliation will have no lasting effects on you.
** Never mind how your boyfriend verbally (and sometimes physically) abuses you. He's really a broken and lonely soul who needs your unconditional love to get change for the better.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: H - P]]
* ''Literature/HaruhiSuzumiya'': Rape is okay as long as both the victim and perpetrator are Japanese schoolgirls.
** Also, the victim will secretly enjoy it and end up being a better and more confident person because of it.
** See that cute girl over there? You're not allowed to date her. ''Ever.'' Otherwise your other female friend will get jealous and destroy the universe.
** The best way to show affection for someone is to be abusive and demanding, and mask any signs of caring. Don't worry, your interesting personality will more than make up for it. Such behavior is also a great way to get the person to spend time with you.
** Forget all the fun and exciting things that happen in a "mundane" world. If it doesn't have freaks, monsters, or anything that isn't grounded in reality, ''it cannot be fun''. So go ahead and watch as the world burns. At least you'll be entertained.
** Summing it all up, God is a jerk.
** Telling the girl you like that you have a ponytail fetish can save the universe!
** Nobody is who you think they are, and making friends with one random eccentric girl can condemn you to a like of danger and uncertainty. But it dosent matter because your normal life was too boring anyways.
* ''HellGirl'': If you get revenge, you'll go to hell, but if you don't get revenge, you'll suffer horrible torment and then go to hell anyway.
** Therapy is pointless. Condemning everybody who makes you unhappy to eternal torment in hell is the only way to get over your life's problems.
* ''{{Hellsing}}'' let your pet monster of darkness [[KidWithTheLeash off the leash]] to save the day.
** [[KnightTemplar The most effective way to combat evil]] [[EvilerThanThou is with an even greater evil.]]
** Protestants hang out with blood thirsty monsters. Catholics kill you with cake knives.
** GodwinsLaw: [[TheManBehindTheMan The Nazis really are still behind everything.]]
* ''[[Manga/AxisPowersHetalia Hetalia]]'': Soviet Russia was mean for taking over Eastern Europe. Axis Germany, on the other hand, was a decent and respectful power that only did minor wrongdoing such as taking over Eastern Europe.
** Or, rather, Soviet Russia just wanted some friends. [[ParanoiaFuel You all will join him someday.]]
** All Russian men are [[BiggusDickus over 25cm]].
* ''VisualNovel/HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi'': Young girls who have their older brothers take care of them deserve to have the shit beaten out of them.
** To be more precise, they ''need'' to have the shit beaten out of them at least once. It will make them better people.
** If you find out that one of your friends has murdered someone, even in self-defense, you should help them cover it up, of course. It's what friends are for. (Never mind the fact that ''murdering'' someone in ''self-defense'' is a contradiction in terms!)
** [[spoiler:Nurses are always evil, and ones who engage in experimental research tend to end up infected by whatever it was they were studying.]]
** Trust no one, or you and all your friends will die horribly.
** Stay away from people from rural towns who believe in weird gods, or you will die horribly. [[spoiler:Repeatedly.]]
** [[spoiler:Always give the doll you won in that game to the girl who insists she doesn't want it, or her family will kill you.]]
** [[spoiler:Even if you can try it thousands of times, some things are just hopeless unless you cheat.]]
* ''Literature/KaraNoKyoukai'': If you suspect that the girl you like is a psychotic serial killer, you should be friends anyway. If evidence points to her, ignore it. If she admits to it, don't believe her. If you see her standing in front of a headless corpse, covered in blood, holding a knife, rationalize that it wasn't her. If you then survive her inevitable attempt on your life, congratulations! You're both in love. She probably won't try to kill you again.
* ''LoveHina'': It's okay for a girl to beat the shit out of her supposed True Love for breathing too loudly, but if he does anything to stand up to her, he's a bastard.
** And said girl who beats the shit out of you on a near-daily basis is obviously more compatible with you than anyone else and always has been.
*** Domestic Violence Is OK When It Is Female On Male
** He's [[NighInvulnerability used to it.]] Remember the [[RunningGag numerous]] Mecha-Tama?
** Any woman who loves you is severely maladjusted.
*** [[ThisLoserIsYou Well duh]].
* ''MacrossFrontier'': It is perfectly OK for a guy to be in love relationship with two girls simultaneously.
** If you are a famous star, don't encourage '''anyone''' to go into show business. Ever. They will always steal your position.
** And it is 100% OK to do so along with taking their manager from them. If however, the now fallen star manages to get the guy ''you'' are in love with after that, she is absolute bitch and deserves to die, along with everybody around.
* ''Anime/{{Mai-HiME}}'' (anime): Emotional ties are foolish, and friendship and love will either make you go [[LoveMakesYouCrazy crazy]], [[LoveMakesYouDumb stupid]], [[LoveMakesYouEvil evil]], or [[LoveHurts some combination of the three]].
* ''Manga/{{Mai-HiME}}'' (manga): Putting impressionable and emotionally unstable teenagers in charge of a school fraught with [[TheLegionsOfHell demonic]] and [[AlienInvasion otherworldly]] invaders is perfectly okay.
* ''Anime/{{Mai-Otome}}'' (anime): Men are evil, stupid, useless or any combination of the three.
* ''Manga/{{Mai-Otome}}'' (manga): Men are evil, stupid, useless or any combination of the three unless they crossdress...or are already dead.
** And if you ''are'' said crossdresser, [[ChickMagnet every girl in the world will want to go out with you]]...[[IfItsYouItsOkay even the]] [[SchoolgirlLesbians gay ones]].
* ''Anime/MartianSuccessorNadesico'': Religion is every bit as trivial and meaningless as some stupid robot anime.
* ''Anime/MobileSuitGundam'': ChildSoldiers who refuse to obey orders should be Bright slapped until they do.
** Not to mention that human evolution will eventually mean that yes, there is a master race.
* ''[[Anime/MobileSuitGundamWing Gundam Wing]]'': War is BAD!!! Now let's go kill a ''crap'' load of mooks!
** Also acceptable: Hypocrites are the best of us, they should be idolized and treasured to the greatest extent possible.
* ''[[Anime/MobileFighterGGundam G Gundam]]'': Violence is a legitimate language.
* ''Anime/MobileSuitGundam00'': If someone is promoting violence kick their ass! That'll show 'em! (Actually that IS the Aesop).
* ''[[Anime/MobileSuitGundamSEED Gundam SEED]]'': Following orders ''will'' get you killed. You can accomplish much more if you desert your post.
* ''[[Anime/MobileSuitGundamSEEDDestiny Gundam SEED Destiny]]'': If you see a sweet, naive blond drowing, let her die.
** The best way to end all war is to shoot the interposition force first.
** Want to get a girl to be in love with you? Shoot her little sister. She'll be so desperate, she'll fall in your arms immediately.
* ''Anime/MobileSuitGundamAGE'': Who cares about your ally getting killed? Your enemy side's casualties are more important than your ally side's!
* ''{{Anime/Monster}}'' [[SarcasmMode clearly]] teaches kids that it's okay to avoid going to school if they honestly have something more interesting to do, like following a fugitive doctor around.
** Alternatively, if you're a surgeon, you really ''should'' think twice before saving random hapless children.
** Don't go against superiors and try to do the morally right thing by treating all patients equally regardless of social status. You'll just end up saving TheAntiChrist who'll kill thousands of innocents.
* ''Manga/MuhyoAndRoji'': An incredibly lazy and snarky prodigy is a better candidate for a prestigious job than his hard-working friend who is determined to provide for his ill mother.
* ''{{Negima}}'': It is perfectly reasonable to live in your possibly dead father's shadow. In fact, you should shave whole days off of your life so you can be more like him. And if you have a friend who is doing this, you should encourage him to continue because it makes him "mature" and "adult", even if he is a child.
*** The series later gives another option, if you ''don't'' want to stay in your father's shadow, choose dark powers over light! Despite the fact that it may eventually kill you, at least you don't have to worry about using ThePowerOfFriendship to solve all of your problems.
** The effectiveness of training [[TrainingFromHell is directly proportional to how suicidal is it]]. For that matter, how good of a teacher you are is determined entirely by how much of a [[DrillSergeantNasty hardass]] you are and/or [[SinkOrSwimMentor how likely you are to commit manslaughter via training.]]
** If a child is doing incredibly stupid things because you're not telling him something, whatever you do, ''don't tell him''! He needs to learn stuff the hard way, with lots of blood, sweat, tears, and wasted childhood.
*** If you ''are'' that child and someone tells you that you should relax a little, act like the child you are, and enjoy your childhood while it still lasts, don't. Instead, find a YearInsideHourOutside mechanism so that you can get out of childhood even faster, without wasting that TrainingFromHell in the process.
** Attempting to [[CorruptionOfAMinor seduce a ten-year-old boy]] is perfectly okay. Especially if your favorite method for doing so is to [[MarshmallowHell rub his face in your cleavage]].
** Being smart makes you weak and hesitant while [[DumbIsGood being dumb makes you strong and confident]]. There will also never be any negative consequences to being confident without even knowing what you're doing.
** Making out with your students is endearing, and there is no downside. In fact, you're rewarded with incredible items. Everybody wins.
* ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'', ''{{Inuyasha}}'', ''Manga/ExcelSaga'', probably a bunch of others as well: You should totally fall in love with the HandsomeLech or the ChivalrousPervert. Sure he said he is in love with anything on two legs, but he also said it to you, so he must mean it. After all, it is not like the guy is evil, so his actions are perfectly okay. Once he settles down with you he will stop. And if he doesn't, that just means it is in his nature. Who are you to change him?
* ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'': Do you have an incredibly powerful weapon that is possibly your only hope for survival? Entrust it to emotionally unstable children!
** Also, don't take that lithium! You might need to go into perpetual-motion mode to defeat an Angel!
** ''RebuildOfEvangelion'': AxCrazy, {{Blood Knight}}s give the best advice.
** Nobody wants [[BreakingTheFourthWall you]] so it's alright if you die [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou isn't it]]?
** If you don't do [[ChildSoldiers your job]] [[TheAce better than everyone]], you should [[DespairEventHorizon probably just kill yourself]] because, fuck, ''everyone hates you''.
** If you're {{Emo}} enough [[spoiler: everyone dies.]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvQ4z71d6so The End]].
** If you have an abusive, emotionally distant dad, you should put up with it with an obedient smile, or else you are a worthless piece of crap with no right to live.
* ''{{Noein}}'' It doesn't matter [[TheHero who you are]] or what you do or what choices you make-since there are infinite worlds out there you can bet that somewhere, [[FutureMeScaresMe in some future timeline]] or parallel universe there is a [[EvilCounterpart version of you]] that's [[OmnicidalManiac bent on destroying all of reality.]]
** It's [[MyBelovedSmother your mother's]] and [[MoralityChain your girlfriend's]] fault that you grow up to be an OmnicidalManiac.
** Hey, girls! It's okay to bring a creepy older guy into your house if you "feel like you know them."
** Attending CramSchool and studying all the time makes you an emotionally unstable {{Emo}} that secretly wants to KillEmAll. Studying is bad for you.
*** Ditto for ''Manga/DeathNote''.
* ''NowAndThenHereAndThere'' [[FromBadToWorse It always gets worse.]] ''ALWAYS!'' No exceptions.
** If you don't want to have a ChildByRape that makes you a bad person.
* ''Manga/OnePiece'': Chain-smoking is ''badass''. Doing it in quantities that couldn't even fit in the average mouth is even cooler.
** Saving your older brother must be your top priority. It doesn't matter if you need to let loose a bunch of the world's worst criminals in the process, one of which has done terrible damage to one of your TrueCompanions' home country, you gotta do what you gotta do!
** Whole series: It's not important that your beliefs make any sense, just that [[RightMakesMight you feel really strongly about them]].
*** On that note, it's more heroic to let someone be surrounded by signs of failure than kill them. This is explicitly stated.
** 4Kids dub: the legally justified peace-keeping force [[FamilyFriendlyFirearms must not have weapons more powerful than what a small child could buy with their allowance]].
** Killing someone is a terrible thing, but beating someone into unconsciousness is A-okay. It's actually a completely acceptable thing to do about someone you don't like. Don't worry, they won't risk to suffer brain damage or even death in the long run, even though modern medicine states that fainting will induce such things. Modern medicine is lying; they will wake up and be all fine after a short amount of time.
* ''VisualNovel/OokamiKakushi'': You should tolerate people who are highly aroused by your scent.
** Wanting revenge on someone for killing your fiancee makes you a racist jerk.
** If you were almost molested, found out your classmate is a murderer, that ''you'' are the reason for said classmate having to commit murder, and witnessed the near-destruction of your hometown within the space of a few weeks, it will soon feel like a dream.
** Opening a present meant for your sister is a very, VERY bad idea.
** Hugs can kill you if you're not careful.
* ''Anime/OuranHighSchoolHostClub'': Girls shouldn't ever try to help anyone if they're alone. Also, it's a good idea to use attempted rape as a tool to remind women of where their place is and just how powerless they are.
* ''Anime/ParanoiaAgent'': Lying is bad, kids! If you lie, you and everyone you've ever been in contact with will go insane and imagine being beaten up by a juvenile kid before a giant black blob consumes your hometown!
** Correction: If you live in Tokyo and someone lies, you will be killed by a figment of their imagination.
*** Don't live in Tokyo.
** A little girl accidentally letting her puppy die is the cause of all the problems in society, even if everyone else did worse things and just hid behind her lie. Only make ''her'' own up to it and the masses will obviously be spared and never cause something similar to happen ever again.
** Are you a crooked cop, a violent burglar, and a pedophile who is abusing the trust of your only child by taking naked pictures of her? You don't have to face any repercussions! In fact, not only will you be treated like a hero for catching the wrong suspect, but your daughter will contract HollywoodAmnesia and never rat you out! (Alternatively: the worst thing that can happen for a criminal or a pedophile is for them to reflect and feel bad about their actions. Don't bother trying to actually send them to jail.)
* ''Anime/PrincessTutu'':
** People who enjoy reading/writing stories with sad endings are wicked sadists.
** If you're having trouble starting off the story you're trying to write, insert a duck as a PlotDevice. It'll work wonders.
** Setting yourself on fire is an acceptable way of resolving your emotional issues.
** {{Fix Fic}}s save the day!
* ''Anime/PsychoPass'': Refusing to get treatment will make you criminally insane.
** Hostages are no longer hostages, they're overexposed. Thus they must also be treated as criminally insane.
** To outsmart a criminal, you need to think like a criminal. Therefore, all detectives are criminals in the making.
** Long story short ''EVERYBODY'' is criminally insane.
** Except the biggest criminal of all, who is actually [[OnlySaneMan perfectly sane]], albeit by the standards of the aforementioned [[PeaceAndLoveIncorporated world of mad people]]. Therefore, isn't [[ManipulativeBastard listening to him]] the [[HannibalHasAPoint logical thing to do?]]
* ''Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica'': Did someone just offer you the opportunity to make yourself truly happy? They cannot be trusted at all. And if they're only doing it because it will help save the universe in the long run, that means they must be destroyed.
** Teenage girls' dreams are the driving force behind humanity's progress.
** SaveScumming will eventually drive you to despair, as you see yourself failing again and again and start to doubt [[HopelessBossFight if it's even possible for you to succeed]].
** Doing what is necessary to prolong the end of the universe requires putting the well-being of everyone else in the universe before your own. This is a horrible, nightmarish, self-destructive process that no one in their right mind should agree to. You'd be better off letting everyone and everything die early.
** And being idealistic about this situation in any way will earn you a horrifyingly gruesome death.
** [[PoweredByAForsakenChild There is no force in the universe stronger than human suffering.]] [[DiabolusExMachina Not even physics or probability.]]
** If you commit yourself to fighting evil so that the boy you love can once again pursue his passion, he'll choose your friend instead, and you'll turn into a monster, requiring the girl who was starting to become friends with you to sacrifice herself to kill you.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: R - Z]]
* ''RanmaHalf'':
** ScrewTheRulesImBeautiful
** MightMakesRight.
** Ripping people off [[{{Greed}} for personal gain]] and [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey conning them with your looks]] is [[KarmaHoudini just fine]], even if you're [[AttractiveBentGender pretending to be something you're not]].
** The authorities never help anyone; if you want a job done right, do it yourself.
** If the choice is between a normal life and [[SacrificedBasicSkillForAwesomeTraining divorcing yourself near totally from mundane life to become an expert at]] SupernaturalMartialArts, then go for the latter.
*** It's okay to make your 5 or 6 year old son forsake a normal life just because you want him to grow up to be a BadAss with {{Charles Atlas Superpower}}s.
** Perversion is not only fun, it also [[ImmortalityImmorality helps you live longer]]! Just look out for the PervertRevengeMode.
*** Which is perfectly acceptable to use no matter [[MegatonPunch how hard you hit]] or [[HyperspaceMallet what you hit with]] if you're on the girl side, even if you're [[GenderBender really just]] [[ChivalrousPervert as bad]].
** If you're a boy and a girl who deny any interest in each other and fight each other verbally and sometimes physically, you're a perfect couple, just adorably "in denial" about it.
** It's cute and funny for a girl to beat on a boy because she's mad or embarrassed, but it's awful if a guy hits a girl who treats him bad.
** It's okay for a guy to mock a girl's most sensitive emotional/mental weaknesses simply because she's bad-tempered.
** It's okay for a girl to react to a boy with NoSocialSkills unthinkingly being a JerkAss by beating him with the nearest heavy object.
** If you've been chasing a girl and professing your love to her for at least ten years, despite the fact she insists she's not interested to the point she routinely beats you up and tells you she hates you, ''to your face'', keep at it! She's obviously just shy and will come to return your feelings soon. And if she finds another boy she genuinely does seem to like, well, he's obviously bewitched her, so [[MurderTheHypotenuse try to beat him to a pulp, even kill him if you have to, so she'll fall in love with you instead]].
** It's okay to revile a guy for stalking you because he claims to love you, but to do the exact same thing to a guy you actually do like and who doesn't seem to be interested in you.
** It's okay to blame someone for your having a BalefulPolymorph curse due a fight between the two of you that never happened, even if [[InsaneTrollLogic A: you were the one 4 days late to the fight, B: you were the one who chose to chase after him, and C: he was nowhere nearby (as far as you knew) when you were actually cursed]].
** If you're a boy and a girl says you've done something wrong, then you're always in the wrong. [[GenderBender Even if you're also a girl at the time]].
* ''Manga/RecorderAndRandsell'': Whenever you see an older looking gentleman walking with a little girl. Automatically [[MistakenForPedophile assume he is a pedo]] and arrest him immediately.
* ''SchoolRumble'': {{Tsundere}}s and YamatoNadeshiko are overrated. {{Genki Girl}}s are where it's at!
** LoveMakesYouStupid. Or possibly stupid people just fall in love more easily. But love and idiocy are definitely connected ''somehow''
* ''SerialExperimentsLain'': [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife The Internet will ruin your life.]]
** Committing suicide will turn you into a god.
* ''SilentMobius'' Even if you showed no inclination towards evil before [[TranshumanTreachery as soon as it's revealed that your powers come from a demonic source or heritage]] you will become evil. No exceptions.
** [[CartrightCurse If you love someone, they will die.]]
** It's your parents' fault that the world is so screwed up and [[GenerationXerox you're doomed to repeat their mistakes.]]
** The ideal law enforcement team is an AmazonBrigade [[YouGottaHaveBlueHair with hair the colors of the rainbow]]. No men allowed! They get in the way of the FanService and [[InvertedTrope they are only]] [[JamesBondage here to be kidnapped]] [[MenAreTheExpendableGender and killed.]]
* ''SoulEater'' (after overtaking the manga) Teamwork and skill aren't really all that important in the end. Courage is the only thing you need. Also, nothing anybody else did counted as "courageous" for some reason. That includes the father who got himself blown up (pointlessly, granted, but that's another [[FridgeLogic trope]]) to protect his kid.
** Fear is bad. If can't confront what you're afraid of, you're either evil or at least inadequate and must be shown sense. By force if necessary. Children horrifically abused by their mothers are not exempt from this treatment. If you're not brave, you risk becoming ''less than human''.
** From the manga, apparently there is such a thing as knowing too much, because it will drive you mad and into isolation.
** Mistreating people with OCD and/or taking advantage of their condition is HILARIOUS!
* ''Manga/StrawberryMarshmallow'': Acting like an obnoxious {{jerkass}} is a great way to get attention.
* ''SummerWars'': Teaming up to take down a computer virus that threatens the entire world is the perfect way to remedy any and all family issues.
* ''Anime/TengenToppaGurrenLagann'': Shouting "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?" solves most of life's problems, great or small.
** Even if you can wield the power of an entire universe, those you love dearest will still die, and there's not one damn thing you can do about it.
** Real men can learn any fighting skill through sheer testosterone and audacity because they have THE SOUL OF A MAN. Real women, uh, can be quite badass at a lower level, I guess?
*** {{Straw Vulcan}}s do not get a CrowningMomentofAwesome because THEY'RE MEAN AND THEIR LOGIC KEEPS THE HEROES FROM BEING MANLY AND AWESOME.
*** When your friend is distressed, [[{{ThereAreNoTherapists}} punch him in the face]] whilst howling "LET'S SEE YOU GRIT YOUR TEETH!" and everything will work out. He'll thank you later.
*** ANY PROBLEM can be solved with LIBERAL APPLICATION OF CAPITAL LETTERS.
** You can do anything!... [[FantasticAesop if you live in a universe where magical energy that reacts to]] [[HotBlooded hot blood]] exists.
*** The best solution to any problem is one that cannot possibly work, despite being awesome. It will work anyway.
** If you don't believe in yourself enough to be able to do [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7C27_lQdQQ this]], YouSuck.
** The world needs a LawfulNeutral person to to the dirty, {{AntiHero}}ic political stuff... [[TokenMinority but only one]]. Everybody else is morally obligated to be a ChaoticGood {{Badass}}.
** The only way you can ever step out of the shadow of your cooler, more charismatic friend and become your own man is if said friend dies.
** When a man and a woman should never get more friendly than waving across a room.
*** [[KissOfDeath If you kiss, you die.]]
*** [[DeathBySex If you have a child,]] [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt society dies.]]
*** [[LetsWaitAWhile If you wait until marriage,]] [[DwindlingParty your lover will die along with most of your friends.]] Then you'll become a wandering nameless {{Hobo}} and [[DyingAlone die alone]].
** Reasoned discussion will get you nowhere, but violence will solve all your problems. Militarism is the way to go.
* ''TsubasaReservoirChronicle'': So, your girlfriend got knocked into a coma, and the only way to get her out of it is to take a million-to-one shot at fixing it (and failing will probably get the ''both of you'' killed), and ''if'' you even succeed at all, she won't even remember who you are? Well if you don't jump on that million-to-one shot, you don't love her. Period.
** Never call out [[DealWithTheDevil the devil]] for her crap.
** If your girlfriend dies, don't worry. [[spoiler:She was probably a clone.]]
** [[HetIsEw The only straight people]] are [[spoiler:secretly monsters]].
* The {{Tsundere}}-archetype: Treating people like shit is fine so long as you're really attractive, doubly so in regards to your loved one(s). Give 'em hell!
** Even more so, the weaker partner in the relationship ([[UnfortunateImplications unfortuately, all too often]] [[DoubleStandard the female]]) can get away with this when her parner is powerful enough that she wouldn't stand a chance in a fair fight.
* ''VisualNovel/UminekoNoNakuKoroNi'': If you [[AmbitionIsEvil work hard and always apply yourself to achieving your goals]], then you too can become an utter psychopath.
** [[color:red:Attaching a color to what someone says is not a symptom of synesthesia, it is the key to understanding what is really going on around you.]]
** Brutally murdering your loved one's family, over and over again, is a great way to get him to accept you and will make him want to understand you.
* YosugaNoSora: It's okay to [[{{Twincest}} love and have sex with your twin]].
* ''Anime/YuGiOh'': It's fine to run a criminal empire that deals in forgery, extortion, and general thuggery as long as it is your ''really'' crazy other personality that pulls the extreme shit.
** [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney As long as you have money you can get away with anything]].
** Countries should drop military spending and invest in a children's card game, that'll make them rich. It worked for [=KaibaCorp=].
** Unless you're rich or are in possession of an ancient artifact, don't expect to go far in a tournament. If you do somehow manage to make it to the finals, [[CantCatchUp it's all]] [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption downhill from there]].
** No matter how competent you are, you will still lose any one on one contests against people with more friends than you.
** [[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Bullying is just wrong. Destroying peoples' minds with magical powers is A-OK!]]
** All your problems can be solved with CardGames. Your worth as a human being is directly related to how good you are at a children's card game.
** Authorities can't do anything other than oppress the poor.
** Cheating is OK as long as you do it with your heart.
** Any problem can be solved with '''BROOKLYN RAGE!!!'''
** [[AnimationAgeGhetto Liking children's cartoons at an adult age]] is a prime symptom of being a PsychopathicManchild.
** If you meet someone who has lost any loved ones through no fault of their own, they're probably evil or creepy, and it's okay to rub it in their face how they are all alone, and have no friends!
*** Better yet, if someone loses their loved ones, they will always become evil!
* ''Anime/YuGiOhGX'': [[TrueArtIsAngsty True heroes are emo, mental, and in a lot of pain]], so if you want to be a hero, [[FaceHeelTurn go bad]].
** If you suck at card games, you have no future. Because [[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Card Games are Serious Business]].
** ''[[Manga/YuGiOhGX GX Manga]]'': If you want to build your own deck so you can win by your own power, '''''don't'''''. Always stick with the deck your friend/mentor gave you. Otherwise, [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption you will (almost) always lose]]. [[HardWorkHardlyWorks Who cares about success by your own merits anyway?]]
* ''LightNovel/ZeroNoTsukaima'': Hey Girls! remember, if a boy annoys you, to even the smallest degree, always remember that physical violence is your friend! whether it's punching him in the face, striking him with a bottle or kicking him in the testicles (it's not as if he needs them for anything right?) every technique is a winner!
[[/folder]]

----

[[redirect:DarthWiki/WarpThatAesop]]

'''''[[IncomingHam WELCOME]]''''', '''[[LadiesAndGerms ladies, gentlemen, and tropers]], to DarthWiki's Favorite GameShow'''...

'''''[[PowerEchoes WARP... THAT... AESOP!!!!!]]'''''

'''Anime Round! Ready.... GO!'''

%%
%%
%% NOTE: Before adding a warped aesop, try not to make a serious attempt at finding one.
%%
%%


Shows that have their own pages

[[index]]
* WarpThatAesop/{{Dragonball}}
* WarpThatAesop/{{Naruto}}
* WarpThatAesop/{{Pokemon}}
[[/index]]
----
[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder: Types of Anime]]

* '''ShonenGenre''': {{Idiot Hero}}es make the best protagonists because [[ThisLoserIsYou any teenage boy and preteen can relate to them]]. Because teenage boys are stupid, unthinking and in love with themselves for it.
** GirlsHaveCooties. Thus there is nothing they can actually ''do'' to advance the plot aside from pining for the protagonist from afar, serving as decorations or healing. Girls who take action are evil bitches and must be dealt with.
** Also don't skimp on the explosions and the phallic symbols such as {{BFS}} and {{BFG}}. It's not like kids can catch up to the implications of sex.
** Despite your speech about hard work, your determination to be more powerful and the friends who believed in you to be more stronger, HardWorkHardlyWorks... Because you have all the powers to be stronger with nothing.
** Being a protagonist means your parents are either dead and/or will happily abandon you.
** Recruiting immature prepubescent children into your military is perfectly acceptable.
* '''ShojoGenre''': Teenage girls are vapid, [[HormoneAddledTeenager hormonal]], [[BastardBoyfriend masochistic]] and only concerned with [[AcceptableFeminineGoalsAndTraits beauty and relationships]]. Therefore, don't make them ''do'' anything. Just have them getting [[LoveTriangle tangled in]] [[LoveDodecahedron their relationships]] and unable to stir themselves from it. That's all they're good at.
** Alternatively, make them bubbly princesses, battling with an [[EvilMatriarch abusive mother]] and coming on top with the power of [[RomanticPlotTumor LIKE-OMG TRUE LOVE]]!
* '''{{Josei}}''': We don't need this. Adult women have nothing to talk about but their periods, their kids, their family and all kinds of uninteresting, unimportant shit.
** If they're unmarried, maybe they can work and all but they're mainly shallow bitches who are just waiting for Mr Right, much like ''BridgetJones''. And remember the golden rule: she's NeverASelfMadeWoman.
* '''Many {{harem| genre}} series:''' The one who loves you the most is the one who [[{{Tsundere}} physically and verbally abuses you]] the most.
** If you are caught in any kind of [[NotWhatItLooksLike seemingly indecent situation]], you will be punished for it. Regardless on whether or not it was actually your fault.
** Trips to the the bathroom will usually end with girls seeing you as a pervert.
** The best relationships to hold are many and shallow - after all, if you can have eight sort-of-girlfriends who constantly provide you with sexy encounters, that's surely better than one actual girlfriend, right? After all, that "accountability" and "serious relationship" nonsense is just for squares who can't work the ladies just like you can!
* '''Every ToBeAMaster series ever:''' Don't set your own goals, let society set them for you before you're even old enough to question it!
** [[TruthInTelevision This is exactly how Japanese society (and western feudal societies as well) worked for well over a thousand years.]] [[ValuesDissonance Think about that.]] [[FridgeHorror Yeah, think about that.]]
* If you're not badass or you're a flat character, you're useless.
* A {{Tsundere}} or a FauxActionGirl makes you a [[RonTheDeathEater horrible, irredeemable character]], but being a {{jerkass}} [[DracoInLeatherPants villain who commits the worst atrocities]] [[DoubleStandard because you have "cool" traits, is perfectly fine.]]
* '''{{Hentai}} in general''': [[EverythingTryingToKillYou Everything is out to rape you]].
** But you actually like it.
** Only if you're female. If you're male you're either the rapist, the guy whose girlfriend cheats on you with the rapist, or [[{{Uke}} so unmanly]] that the rapist considers you to be close enough.
* '''BoysLove aka {{Yaoi}}''': [[{{seme}} A]] [[ManlyGay manly]] [[{{seme}} man]] and his [[{{uke}} effeminate boyfriend who gets penetrated during sex]], see kids, [[UnfortunateImplications even gays need someone to be the man/girl in the relationship]].
[[/folder]]
----
[[folder: A - G]]

* ''Literature/{{Another}}'': Social ostracism in high school isn't bullying, but a legitimate safety measure. [[spoiler:[[MurderIsTheBestSolution Murder works even better though]]]].
* ''Anime/AquarionEvol'': Falling in love is wrong, for the BigBad will come and kill them.
** And you're supposed to apologize to him since his fiancé reincarnation fell in love with you.
* ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'': If you desperately want a cat, but [[AnimalsHateHim house cats really hate you]], you should go to a national park and take a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iriomote_Cat critically endangered]] [[AllAnimalsAreDomesticated wild cat]] home with you.
** High school girls are insane.
*** High school ''teachers'' are even ''more'' off-kilter.
** That creepy paedophilic high school teacher who's always coming on to his female students? There's nothing wrong with him at all, he's just good for a laugh! So don't report him to the authorities or anything, because there's no way anything bad could possibly come of allowing this man to continue to teach underage girls.
* ''LightNovel/{{Baccano}}!'': [[DamnItFeelsGoodToBeAGangster Organized crime is]] ''[[WorldOfBadass awesome]]''.
** Even disorganized can pay. Pointless arson can make you immortal!
*** [[TruthInTelevision Ever heard of]] [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herostratus Herostratus?]]
* ''LightNovel/BakaToTestToShoukanjuu'': Even if a girl orders you around all the time and almost kills you daily if you even look at another girl, it's totally okay if she's hot or shy occasionally, and your friends will enable her and try to trap you in a marriage with her.
* ''Manga/{{Basilisk}}'' : if you happen to be born as a ninja, your whole life is already totally fucked. Have a nice death.
** Once you become aware of the bigger picture that everyone you've ever known and loved was senselessly sacrificed for, the only option you have is to senselessly sacrifice yourself as well.
* ''{{Berserk}}'': Did thousands of innocent civilians just die because you killed the person protecting them from a horde of demons immune to normal weapons? It's not your fault, they were just too weak-willed to survive anyways!
** Real friends would ''want'' you to sell your AND their soul to Hell in order for you to achieve your personal goals in life. [[ItsAllAboutMe That ain't selfishness]] - that's the real PowerOfFriendship!
** But, no matter what life brings to you, you can always triumph over your trials, [[ScrewDestiny because causality has no hold over you in the end]]. At the end of the day, the bad guys will lose, [[JusticeWillPrevail justice will be served to the suffering]], [[TheGoodGuysAlwaysWin and the good guys will triumph over all]], [[BigDamnHeroes because they come in just in the nick of time]] [[EverybodyLives to save everybody]] from the BigBad. [[AlwaysSaveTheGirl Including the girl]]. [[EarnYourHappyEnding IT WILL HAPPEN]]. ''[[HappilyEverAfter ALWAYS]]''. '''[[BabiesEverAfter WITH BABIES]]'''.
* ''BibliothecaMysticaDeDantalian'': If a situation has nothing to do with you and you posses the power to resolve said situation, don't even bother. Everything will work itself out.
* ''Manga/BlackLagoon'': Women are insane.
** [[NiceGuy Nice Guys]] [[ThisLoserIsYou suck]]. If you want to get out alive you have to be just as nasty as the people around you.
* ''Anime/BlackRockShooter'': The best way to solve the emotional problems of others is to have your darker persona murder them.
* ''Manga/{{Bleach}}'': You know that sweet-natured girl who recently developed [[WindsOfDestinyChange special powers]] the BigBad is sure to take an interest in for purposes of reactivating the long-dormant ArtifactOfDoom? Well, whatever you do, don't sit her down and explain the situation to her, don't take any kind of measures to ensure her safety, and most certainly don't even bother to keep track of her whereabouts or status. We're sure it'll all work out just fine in the end...
** Yeah, when that girl's disappears she is immediately assumed to have [[FaceHeelTurn joined the enemy]].
** You know that execution order you allegedly received from those 46 big-wigs you practically never get to meet with in person? Yeah, just go ahead and carry it out without so much as getting confirmation or authentication on it. Afterall, what are the odds that [[BatmanGambit some scoundrel and his co-conspirators could be playing you for fools.]]
** It's okay to stand their and do nothing while your comrades are unintentionally ganging up on a fellow ally.
** It's perfectly normal to wake up and see major portions of your city destroyed by a car accident. DO NOT QUESTION IT!
** Getting stabbed in the chest makes you stronger.
** It's okay for '''''EVERYBODY''''' to put their faith in a 15 year-old.
** It's perfectly reasonable for your society to be run by a group of 46 people whose authority can never be question no matter how incredibly bad their judgement calls frequently turn out to be. Also, a senile old fool is just the person you want to be the supreme commander of your society's military.
*** [[TruthInTelevision That's basically how non-democratic societies actually work.]]
** Silence woman! Sit back, StayInTheKitchen, and watch me rescue you whether you want me to or not.
** If violence isn't solving all your problems you simply aren't using enough of it.
** What a woman is a MasterSwordman?! Foolish woman, know your place for you are not the strongest. You're just a stepping stone.
* ''{{Blood-C}}'': Don't even bother trying to protect the people you love. You will fail and they will die horribly.
* ''BlueGender'': Through the use of sustainable technology and orbital biodomes, one can preserve our planet's integrity even when humanity's energy and resource requirements begin to exceed the planet's ability to fulfill them.
* ''LightNovel/BokuWaTomodachiGaSukunai'': Hey, wanna make friends? Well, the best way to do that it form a club and then manipulate and abuse every member frequently. Bonus points if a handful happen to have egos for you to go out of your way to bruise by humiliating them at every given opportunity. No one will ever call you out on it. Even better if one of them ''happens to be a child''.
* ''TheBorrowerArrietty'': Trying to open up and connect with other people will only scare them away, at best, leave you vulnerable to being hurt at worst, and is ultimately futile as we all end up alone in the end, anyway. Which is probably for the best.
* ''CatSoup'': '''Never''' poop. When you poop, weird and possibly symbolic stuff will occur.
** It's okay to eat your friends, just so long as you share with them.
* ''[[ChisSweetHome Chi's Sweet Home]]'': Screw landlords and their dumb rules - everyone should have the right to keep a cute kitten at home!
* ''LightNovel/ACertainMagicalIndex'': Every problem is solvable by [[ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer a punch to the face.]]
** Specifically, nuns and priests should be fed a knuckle-sandwich regularly to keep away their innate evilness.
** Plus, [[DefeatMeansFriendship beating up women makes them love you.]]
** Science is bad. Religion is worse!
* ''Anime/CodeGeass'': Only by abandoning all morality and honor can evil be defeated.
** East Asia can only count on each other, as the rest of the world is either unimportant or evil.
*** They still need to be lead by Westerns as they are too weak and useless to stand up.
** Women are useless, only able to be an extension of the man, and will only cause trouble if given a free opinion.
*** Alternate Interpretation: All women secretly desire to be June Cleaver. Any woman who tries to act strong or independent is just putting on airs and needs to find a man and learn to embrace her inner housewife before she gets hurt.
** Democracy will cause you to elect someone incompetent like Ohgi.
*** Speaking of Ohgi, it's perfectly okay to get ahead by turning on someone.
*** Also speaking of Ohgi, someone who betrayed you, tried to kill you, and who influenced you to betray your leader is a great wife.
** If you have deep, personal problems with others, ''do not'' talk it out. Instead, continue your morally ambiguous plan unheeded while occasionally angsting about it.
** If your parents aren't misguided and deeply scarred from the upbringing they tried to shelter you from, they're monsters who abandoned you and you should punish the rest of the world for it.
*** Your siblings want to take everything you've worked for. But that's ok, they're too spineless to actually do it if it's too dangerous.
** It is perfectly ok to enslave or kill millions, hold world leaders hostage and brainwash anyone with the power to stop you for the sake of world peace.
** Only those with RoyalBlood can affect real change in the world.
** Hate will save the world.
** The U.N. should be run by 15 year old girls with ties to revolutionary groups that have questionable records in adhering to international laws.
** The best way to make a better world for your dear sister is to have the world view you, the brother she loves and respects most of all, as evil.
** [[ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies To keep those close to you safe and out of danger]] you must become a total JerkAss.
** It doesn't matter how many war crimes you commit, or inocent lives you directly or indirectly took. If your MoralityPet little sister is killed with her reputation in tatters. You are automatiocally absolved of any and all responsibility for your past evil misdeeds.
** You can't hope to change the system from within because the ruling class is made up of a) racist, evil assholes or b) naïve idiots. The only way to change the world for the better is to become a terrorist. Having giant robots and superpowers helps too.
** When all is going according to plan [[TemptingFate do not comment on it]] because the universe loves proving you wrong.
** The best way to show your devotion to sweet, pacifist girls, is to start a bloodbath and pretend you did it for them (at least three girls get this treatment: Nunnally and Shirley for Lelouch, Euphie for Suzaku).
* ''{{Claymore}}'': [[ScienceIsBad Doing unspeakable experiments on little orphans and secretly oppressing an entire continent's worth of inhabitants with monsters that you created is ]]''[[ScienceIsBad totally]]'' [[ScienceIsBad fine]] [[LensmanArmsRace so long as it'll result in your side winning that war!]]
* ''Anime/DeadmanWonderland'': What, someone survives a grisly massacre? He survived, that obviously makes him the murderer.
* ''DesertPunk'': "Remember kids! Every man knows when to... '''''RUN LIKE A LITTLE BITCH!'''''"
* ''Manga/DeathNote'': To be the greatest detective of them all and save the world, you need to base all of your assumptions off of the findings of dead people. Hey, they're dead, nobody will know that evidence isn't yours--you can be a hero!
** [[BunnyEarsLawyer To be the best in your field you should ignore personal hygiene and show up to work in the clothes you slept in.]]
** ''LightNovel/AnotherNote'': Hide out in your safe house and have the FairCop you've recruited do all the work and then claim credit for solving the case when it's through. If you are the law no one can question you.
** Another one for ''LightNovel/AnotherNote'' [[TheFarmerAndTheViper If you rescue the poor little orphan]] [[AllOfTheOtherReindeer who doesn't fit in]], give him a home, steady meals, a stable environment, and the very best in education he will become your obsessed stalker [[spoiler: who commits multiple homicides [[AttentionWhore just to get your attention.]]]]
** Being an autistic orphan guarantees that you're a genius.
** And if you`re not a genius, you`re useless, even if you are very good at your job and have lots of experience.
** Self preservation is for pussies. A real detective announces his presence and harasses their mass-murder-suspect-with-an-unknown-weapon constantly.
** Don't try to [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans drastically change the world for the better]] unless you are prepared to turn into a [[MagnificentBastard sociopathic,]] [[AGodAmI delusional,]] [[MemeticMutation potato chip munching]] maniac.
** Also, GIRLZ IZ STOOPID.
*** Extension: Women are weak, incompetent and need a man to lead them (and even then they are prone to making mistakes). Once they find him, they should StayInTheKitchen.
** If you've fallen in love with someone naturally the appropriate response is to stalk that person, have your crazy friend threaten to kill him, and dress like a whore. Your victim (I'm sorry, ''BOYFRIEND'') will grow to love you eventually.
** ALL PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED WITH HANDCUFFS. If it isn't working, the handcuffs aren't small enough.
** Never mind if your ideals are completely correct--if you develop [[AGodAmI a God complex]], you must die and your work must be undone. You just wanted to make the world a better place and had to make some insignificant-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things sacrifices? Sorry, you're not a nice person, so you lose.
** [[BrokenAesop Killing criminals is only wrong if]] ''[[VigilanteMan Kira]]'' [[CantGetAwayWithNuthin does it]]. [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem If you have a badge and official sanction it's a-okay (you can break any number of rules that you like!)]] and [[NotSoDifferent nevermind if you get justice for the families of the victims neglected by a corrupt system, we will execute you]] [[HypocriticalHumor like the criminal you are.]]
** Writing in books is dangerous and evil. It's not a pretty picture. (Dramatic and stylalized, perhaps, but not pretty.) Don't do it. Ever.
** Mass-murder is AWESOME!!! There is NOTHING it cannot do. Start slaughtering people today and you too can have a [[TheDitz hot]] [[GenkiGirl girlfriend]], steady job, [[FanDumb legions of devoted followers]], and (drumroll please) . . . world peace! Even if you die! That's right, kids, [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans utopia]] can be yours, just make sure you start out by bumping off criminals . . . that way, you'll be justified no matter how much of a monster you become. [[BloodyBloodyAndrewJackson Everything you say]] and do [[BloodyBloodyAndrewJackson is right!]] Just remember these [[RuleOfThree three simple rules]]: 1) if you think they deserve to die, they deserve to die, 2) if they get in your way, they deserve to die, and 3) if the world isn't a utopia yet, that just means you haven't killed enough people! [[SchmuckBait Act now!]] Utopia is just a drawn out mass-murder session killing away!
** The only thing more epic than writing in a notebook . . . is [[MemeticMutation eating potato chips.]] Unless you repeatedly shout "delete" whilst writing in said notebook, then the sheer epic-ness might just make you come to fruition.
** Matsuda is an idiot.
** Do nothing. Don't ever try to change the world for the better. Sit around in your room and play with toys all day and you are sure to win at life.
** If your little sister is ever kidnapped by violent criminals kill her immediately [[spoiler: because if you save her it will lead to your death.]]
** [[DysfunctionJunction If you are really smart then there is somethning wrong with you.]] [[BrokenAce Odds are that you're either evil]] [[BunnyEarsLawyer or crazy]] or both.
** Being a good student and taking notes is an executable offense.
** The L Diet: Eating lots of candy makes you rakishly thin and a genius to boot.
*** Also apparently you can eat nothing but chocolate and still fit into [[PaintedOnPants tight leather pants]].
** [[spoiler: [[BrokenBase Light Yagami / L Lawliet]]]] [[EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory died for your sins.]]
** Smoking kills [[spoiler: getting shot thirty times helps too.]]
** [[HoYay If you ignore your shrill, annoying, possibly murderess "hot girlfriend" and you are chained to an exotic young male detective 24-7... you are gay.]]
** Bored student = future SerialKiller.
** "[[ForGreatJustice Justice]]" apparently means either "mass murder" or "stalking teenage boys." [[WithUsOrAgainstUs Pick a side-we're at war.]]
** No, the PowerOfFriendship will not protect you from Kira.
** Don't pick up trash you find randomly lying around at school.
** Never make mistakes. EVER! If you ever make even ONE mistake it will inevitably, irreparably screw up your life and/or get you killed-probably both. Unless your name is Matsuda...
** On that note, don't ever try to improve yourself. Being the [[ThisLoserIsYou token idiot]] comic relief [[TheWorldsExpertOnGettingKilled is much safer than being a mega-genius.]]
* ''Anime/DigimonAdventure02'': Remember, girls, being a tomboy is bad. HouseWife type girls are the only way to go.
** If the big, ugly monster is about to conquer the world, the best way to defeat it is to make some stupid speeches about your wishes, such as you want to be a kindergarten teacher or a artist. It always works.
* ''Anime/DigimonTamers'': Garbage collectors are evil.
* ''Anime/DigimonFrontier'': Girls are useless. Period.
* ''Anime/DuelMasters'': The path to victory lies not through practice, cunning, skill, or wealth. If you want to be a winner, your number-one priority should be your hair..
* ''Literature/{{Durarara}}'': Using random people from the internet as your own personal army is the optimum way to solve your problems.
** Falling in love with a severed head is sick and wrong; falling in love with a headless body is sweet and romantic.
** Dropping out of school, cutting off contact with all but one of your friends and running away with your girlfriend at fifteen is perfectly acceptable.
* ''ElfenLied'': Genocide solves all your problems.
** It's perfectly acceptable to [[BullyingADragon harass, persecute,]] [[MuggingTheMonster bully, and antagonize]] little girls for their [[AllOfTheOtherReindeer birth defects]] [[WhosLaughingNow and then complain about the]] [[WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds results when the victim snaps and retaliates.]]
** You have to marry your cousin [[ChildhoodMarriagePromise because she made you promise you would when you were like eight.]]
** [[GetAholdOfYourselfMan Slapping]] [[HystericalWoman Hysterical Women]] [[GetAholdOfYourselfMan is good for them]], even if they have every right to FreakOut having just witnessed a gruesome murder, are a rape victim, or end up AloneWithThePsycho who made them a quadruple amputee.
** [[DudeNotFunny Naked mentally retarded girls are funny.]]
** [[MenAreBastards Men are so evil]] that a man who regularly [[MoralEventHorizon euthanizes children]] can be the second-most likable and good male in the world.
** Sometimes murdering people based on how they were born is a moral gray area. After all, they might have been [[FantasticAesop born with a genetic condition that causes them to kill their parents at age three and want to start (and be capable of) single-handedly destroying humanity.]]
** Being a JerkAss means you [[AssholeVictim deserve to die.]]
** HumansAreTheRealMonsters and deserve to die.
** You shouldn't help any injured strangers you come across because chances are they're homicidal maniacs.
** Don't get a puppy - it will lead to you wanting to destroy the human race.
* ''{{Escaflowne}}'':
** The quickest way to stop a war is [[spoiler: a half-naked teenage boy flying overhead.]]
** That actually sounds like it might work.
* ''Manga/FairyTail'': ThePowerOfFriendship is for beating the shit out of people to get revenge for hurting your TrueCompanions, even in the cases where this doesn't actually do anything to protect them and just leads to more of them getting hurt. This will also never have any negative consequences.
* ''VisualNovel/FateStayNight'': Your life has no meaning, unless you try and throw it away at every opportunity. On the bright side, this will make women love you.
** If all else fails, having sex will solve the problem.
* ''VisualNovel/FinalApproach'': Invade a guy's life and suffocate him with unwanted affection 24/7 and he'll grow to love you eventually.
* ''FruitsBasket'': All parents suck, and all adults are worthless and manipulative.
** Or, alternatively, a person should get pity over their situation when it's caused by someone else, but you shouldn't feel anger at whoever ''caused'' the situation in the first place, because that makes ''you'' a bad person.
* ''Manga/FullmetalAlchemist'':
** God still hates you, and this time around he's there personally to mock you as he takes everything from you.
** Having lost an arm and a leg gives you the moral right to berate non-amputee people suffering an emotional breakdown for being {{wangst}}y. After all, if they haven't lost a limb (and got fully functional prostheses which are actually useful in combat and a superpower to boot) what could they know about pain? Don't worry, they'll thank you for opening their eyes afterwards.
** Killing someone for the sake of revenge is a terrible act, which may cause you to go JumpingOffTheSlipperySlope. It's so much better if one of your allies, who doesn't have a personal reason to do it, kills that person.
*** [[Anime.FullmetalAlchemist The 2003 anime]] gives us this:
**** Ed at the Beginning of the Series: I don't believe in revenge. It's pointless.
**** Later on in The Series: What? You won't kill your friend's murderer in an act of revenge. How dare you? You're despicable, clearly you don't care about your friend if you won't engage in pointless murder revenge that isn't going to bring him back anyway.
** Getting drunk and hallucinating may be just the thing you need to stop moping and save the world!
** Even if you didn't want to commit a sin and were literally forced into it God still hates you.
** Taking years off your lifespan is okay if you like the thought of death before losing your virginity. If you want those years back, you gotta steal them back yourself with a red stone mad of human souls.
* ''Anime/FullmetalAlchemist: [[TheMovie Conqueror of Shamballa]]'': It's OK if you make a war and murders possible to find your brother, then ditch your friends and SheIsNotMyGirlfriend forever just to be with him. Also, your DisappearedDad's atrocious death will scar you for two minutes, and you shouldn't tell said brother about it.
** In regards to that first point (starting a war to fulfil your own goals), that's not so much a warping of the movie's aesop but a negation and contradiction of the aesop.
** Also, lung tuberculosis isn't contagious and you should pretend nothing happened should your best friend / brother substitute start puking blood. He only becomes completely dispensable when you find the brother he was a substitute for.
*** Actually, I'm relatively certain it was [[WordOfGod officially stated]] that it wasn't TB.
** The series: God hates you, and once you screw up, you can never, ever be forgiven.
*** Every mistake you have ever made will come back to try and destroy the world.
** It's all your fault. No exceptions.
*** Unless it's your father's fault, it which case you still have to clean up the mess.
** Challenging societal norms is evil and blasphemous, and you'll suffer for it whether it was intentional or not.
* ''LightNovel/FullMetalPanic'': Hey, physical abuse is A-OK as long as it's female on male, but if you ever make her cry you're going straight to hell.
** Also, falling in love and having feelings of humanity makes you uncool, weak, and {{Wangst}}y. Being an [[TheStoic uncaring killing machine]] is much better for the soul.
** Gun control laws are only suggestions. Nobody actually enforces them.
** Being a man is primarily about [[ARealManIsAKiller being a violent, self-centred douche]] and loving oneself for it.
* ''{{Gravitation}}''
** As long as you're doing it to protect someone you love, gang rape and humiliation will have no lasting effects on you.
** Never mind how your boyfriend verbally (and sometimes physically) abuses you. He's really a broken and lonely soul who needs your unconditional love to get change for the better.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: H - P]]
* ''Literature/HaruhiSuzumiya'': Rape is okay as long as both the victim and perpetrator are Japanese schoolgirls.
** Also, the victim will secretly enjoy it and end up being a better and more confident person because of it.
** See that cute girl over there? You're not allowed to date her. ''Ever.'' Otherwise your other female friend will get jealous and destroy the universe.
** The best way to show affection for someone is to be abusive and demanding, and mask any signs of caring. Don't worry, your interesting personality will more than make up for it. Such behavior is also a great way to get the person to spend time with you.
** Forget all the fun and exciting things that happen in a "mundane" world. If it doesn't have freaks, monsters, or anything that isn't grounded in reality, ''it cannot be fun''. So go ahead and watch as the world burns. At least you'll be entertained.
** Summing it all up, God is a jerk.
** Telling the girl you like that you have a ponytail fetish can save the universe!
** Nobody is who you think they are, and making friends with one random eccentric girl can condemn you to a like of danger and uncertainty. But it dosent matter because your normal life was too boring anyways.
* ''HellGirl'': If you get revenge, you'll go to hell, but if you don't get revenge, you'll suffer horrible torment and then go to hell anyway.
** Therapy is pointless. Condemning everybody who makes you unhappy to eternal torment in hell is the only way to get over your life's problems.
* ''{{Hellsing}}'' let your pet monster of darkness [[KidWithTheLeash off the leash]] to save the day.
** [[KnightTemplar The most effective way to combat evil]] [[EvilerThanThou is with an even greater evil.]]
** Protestants hang out with blood thirsty monsters. Catholics kill you with cake knives.
** GodwinsLaw: [[TheManBehindTheMan The Nazis really are still behind everything.]]
* ''[[Manga/AxisPowersHetalia Hetalia]]'': Soviet Russia was mean for taking over Eastern Europe. Axis Germany, on the other hand, was a decent and respectful power that only did minor wrongdoing such as taking over Eastern Europe.
** Or, rather, Soviet Russia just wanted some friends. [[ParanoiaFuel You all will join him someday.]]
** All Russian men are [[BiggusDickus over 25cm]].
* ''VisualNovel/HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi'': Young girls who have their older brothers take care of them deserve to have the shit beaten out of them.
** To be more precise, they ''need'' to have the shit beaten out of them at least once. It will make them better people.
** If you find out that one of your friends has murdered someone, even in self-defense, you should help them cover it up, of course. It's what friends are for. (Never mind the fact that ''murdering'' someone in ''self-defense'' is a contradiction in terms!)
** [[spoiler:Nurses are always evil, and ones who engage in experimental research tend to end up infected by whatever it was they were studying.]]
** Trust no one, or you and all your friends will die horribly.
** Stay away from people from rural towns who believe in weird gods, or you will die horribly. [[spoiler:Repeatedly.]]
** [[spoiler:Always give the doll you won in that game to the girl who insists she doesn't want it, or her family will kill you.]]
** [[spoiler:Even if you can try it thousands of times, some things are just hopeless unless you cheat.]]
* ''Literature/KaraNoKyoukai'': If you suspect that the girl you like is a psychotic serial killer, you should be friends anyway. If evidence points to her, ignore it. If she admits to it, don't believe her. If you see her standing in front of a headless corpse, covered in blood, holding a knife, rationalize that it wasn't her. If you then survive her inevitable attempt on your life, congratulations! You're both in love. She probably won't try to kill you again.
* ''LoveHina'': It's okay for a girl to beat the shit out of her supposed True Love for breathing too loudly, but if he does anything to stand up to her, he's a bastard.
** And said girl who beats the shit out of you on a near-daily basis is obviously more compatible with you than anyone else and always has been.
*** Domestic Violence Is OK When It Is Female On Male
** He's [[NighInvulnerability used to it.]] Remember the [[RunningGag numerous]] Mecha-Tama?
** Any woman who loves you is severely maladjusted.
*** [[ThisLoserIsYou Well duh]].
* ''MacrossFrontier'': It is perfectly OK for a guy to be in love relationship with two girls simultaneously.
** If you are a famous star, don't encourage '''anyone''' to go into show business. Ever. They will always steal your position.
** And it is 100% OK to do so along with taking their manager from them. If however, the now fallen star manages to get the guy ''you'' are in love with after that, she is absolute bitch and deserves to die, along with everybody around.
* ''Anime/{{Mai-HiME}}'' (anime): Emotional ties are foolish, and friendship and love will either make you go [[LoveMakesYouCrazy crazy]], [[LoveMakesYouDumb stupid]], [[LoveMakesYouEvil evil]], or [[LoveHurts some combination of the three]].
* ''Manga/{{Mai-HiME}}'' (manga): Putting impressionable and emotionally unstable teenagers in charge of a school fraught with [[TheLegionsOfHell demonic]] and [[AlienInvasion otherworldly]] invaders is perfectly okay.
* ''Anime/{{Mai-Otome}}'' (anime): Men are evil, stupid, useless or any combination of the three.
* ''Manga/{{Mai-Otome}}'' (manga): Men are evil, stupid, useless or any combination of the three unless they crossdress...or are already dead.
** And if you ''are'' said crossdresser, [[ChickMagnet every girl in the world will want to go out with you]]...[[IfItsYouItsOkay even the]] [[SchoolgirlLesbians gay ones]].
* ''Anime/MartianSuccessorNadesico'': Religion is every bit as trivial and meaningless as some stupid robot anime.
* ''Anime/MobileSuitGundam'': ChildSoldiers who refuse to obey orders should be Bright slapped until they do.
** Not to mention that human evolution will eventually mean that yes, there is a master race.
* ''[[Anime/MobileSuitGundamWing Gundam Wing]]'': War is BAD!!! Now let's go kill a ''crap'' load of mooks!
** Also acceptable: Hypocrites are the best of us, they should be idolized and treasured to the greatest extent possible.
* ''[[Anime/MobileFighterGGundam G Gundam]]'': Violence is a legitimate language.
* ''Anime/MobileSuitGundam00'': If someone is promoting violence kick their ass! That'll show 'em! (Actually that IS the Aesop).
* ''[[Anime/MobileSuitGundamSEED Gundam SEED]]'': Following orders ''will'' get you killed. You can accomplish much more if you desert your post.
* ''[[Anime/MobileSuitGundamSEEDDestiny Gundam SEED Destiny]]'': If you see a sweet, naive blond drowing, let her die.
** The best way to end all war is to shoot the interposition force first.
** Want to get a girl to be in love with you? Shoot her little sister. She'll be so desperate, she'll fall in your arms immediately.
* ''Anime/MobileSuitGundamAGE'': Who cares about your ally getting killed? Your enemy side's casualties are more important than your ally side's!
* ''{{Anime/Monster}}'' [[SarcasmMode clearly]] teaches kids that it's okay to avoid going to school if they honestly have something more interesting to do, like following a fugitive doctor around.
** Alternatively, if you're a surgeon, you really ''should'' think twice before saving random hapless children.
** Don't go against superiors and try to do the morally right thing by treating all patients equally regardless of social status. You'll just end up saving TheAntiChrist who'll kill thousands of innocents.
* ''Manga/MuhyoAndRoji'': An incredibly lazy and snarky prodigy is a better candidate for a prestigious job than his hard-working friend who is determined to provide for his ill mother.
* ''{{Negima}}'': It is perfectly reasonable to live in your possibly dead father's shadow. In fact, you should shave whole days off of your life so you can be more like him. And if you have a friend who is doing this, you should encourage him to continue because it makes him "mature" and "adult", even if he is a child.
*** The series later gives another option, if you ''don't'' want to stay in your father's shadow, choose dark powers over light! Despite the fact that it may eventually kill you, at least you don't have to worry about using ThePowerOfFriendship to solve all of your problems.
** The effectiveness of training [[TrainingFromHell is directly proportional to how suicidal is it]]. For that matter, how good of a teacher you are is determined entirely by how much of a [[DrillSergeantNasty hardass]] you are and/or [[SinkOrSwimMentor how likely you are to commit manslaughter via training.]]
** If a child is doing incredibly stupid things because you're not telling him something, whatever you do, ''don't tell him''! He needs to learn stuff the hard way, with lots of blood, sweat, tears, and wasted childhood.
*** If you ''are'' that child and someone tells you that you should relax a little, act like the child you are, and enjoy your childhood while it still lasts, don't. Instead, find a YearInsideHourOutside mechanism so that you can get out of childhood even faster, without wasting that TrainingFromHell in the process.
** Attempting to [[CorruptionOfAMinor seduce a ten-year-old boy]] is perfectly okay. Especially if your favorite method for doing so is to [[MarshmallowHell rub his face in your cleavage]].
** Being smart makes you weak and hesitant while [[DumbIsGood being dumb makes you strong and confident]]. There will also never be any negative consequences to being confident without even knowing what you're doing.
** Making out with your students is endearing, and there is no downside. In fact, you're rewarded with incredible items. Everybody wins.
* ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'', ''{{Inuyasha}}'', ''Manga/ExcelSaga'', probably a bunch of others as well: You should totally fall in love with the HandsomeLech or the ChivalrousPervert. Sure he said he is in love with anything on two legs, but he also said it to you, so he must mean it. After all, it is not like the guy is evil, so his actions are perfectly okay. Once he settles down with you he will stop. And if he doesn't, that just means it is in his nature. Who are you to change him?
* ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'': Do you have an incredibly powerful weapon that is possibly your only hope for survival? Entrust it to emotionally unstable children!
** Also, don't take that lithium! You might need to go into perpetual-motion mode to defeat an Angel!
** ''RebuildOfEvangelion'': AxCrazy, {{Blood Knight}}s give the best advice.
** Nobody wants [[BreakingTheFourthWall you]] so it's alright if you die [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou isn't it]]?
** If you don't do [[ChildSoldiers your job]] [[TheAce better than everyone]], you should [[DespairEventHorizon probably just kill yourself]] because, fuck, ''everyone hates you''.
** If you're {{Emo}} enough [[spoiler: everyone dies.]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvQ4z71d6so The End]].
** If you have an abusive, emotionally distant dad, you should put up with it with an obedient smile, or else you are a worthless piece of crap with no right to live.
* ''{{Noein}}'' It doesn't matter [[TheHero who you are]] or what you do or what choices you make-since there are infinite worlds out there you can bet that somewhere, [[FutureMeScaresMe in some future timeline]] or parallel universe there is a [[EvilCounterpart version of you]] that's [[OmnicidalManiac bent on destroying all of reality.]]
** It's [[MyBelovedSmother your mother's]] and [[MoralityChain your girlfriend's]] fault that you grow up to be an OmnicidalManiac.
** Hey, girls! It's okay to bring a creepy older guy into your house if you "feel like you know them."
** Attending CramSchool and studying all the time makes you an emotionally unstable {{Emo}} that secretly wants to KillEmAll. Studying is bad for you.
*** Ditto for ''Manga/DeathNote''.
* ''NowAndThenHereAndThere'' [[FromBadToWorse It always gets worse.]] ''ALWAYS!'' No exceptions.
** If you don't want to have a ChildByRape that makes you a bad person.
* ''Manga/OnePiece'': Chain-smoking is ''badass''. Doing it in quantities that couldn't even fit in the average mouth is even cooler.
** Saving your older brother must be your top priority. It doesn't matter if you need to let loose a bunch of the world's worst criminals in the process, one of which has done terrible damage to one of your TrueCompanions' home country, you gotta do what you gotta do!
** Whole series: It's not important that your beliefs make any sense, just that [[RightMakesMight you feel really strongly about them]].
*** On that note, it's more heroic to let someone be surrounded by signs of failure than kill them. This is explicitly stated.
** 4Kids dub: the legally justified peace-keeping force [[FamilyFriendlyFirearms must not have weapons more powerful than what a small child could buy with their allowance]].
** Killing someone is a terrible thing, but beating someone into unconsciousness is A-okay. It's actually a completely acceptable thing to do about someone you don't like. Don't worry, they won't risk to suffer brain damage or even death in the long run, even though modern medicine states that fainting will induce such things. Modern medicine is lying; they will wake up and be all fine after a short amount of time.
* ''VisualNovel/OokamiKakushi'': You should tolerate people who are highly aroused by your scent.
** Wanting revenge on someone for killing your fiancee makes you a racist jerk.
** If you were almost molested, found out your classmate is a murderer, that ''you'' are the reason for said classmate having to commit murder, and witnessed the near-destruction of your hometown within the space of a few weeks, it will soon feel like a dream.
** Opening a present meant for your sister is a very, VERY bad idea.
** Hugs can kill you if you're not careful.
* ''Anime/OuranHighSchoolHostClub'': Girls shouldn't ever try to help anyone if they're alone. Also, it's a good idea to use attempted rape as a tool to remind women of where their place is and just how powerless they are.
* ''Anime/ParanoiaAgent'': Lying is bad, kids! If you lie, you and everyone you've ever been in contact with will go insane and imagine being beaten up by a juvenile kid before a giant black blob consumes your hometown!
** Correction: If you live in Tokyo and someone lies, you will be killed by a figment of their imagination.
*** Don't live in Tokyo.
** A little girl accidentally letting her puppy die is the cause of all the problems in society, even if everyone else did worse things and just hid behind her lie. Only make ''her'' own up to it and the masses will obviously be spared and never cause something similar to happen ever again.
** Are you a crooked cop, a violent burglar, and a pedophile who is abusing the trust of your only child by taking naked pictures of her? You don't have to face any repercussions! In fact, not only will you be treated like a hero for catching the wrong suspect, but your daughter will contract HollywoodAmnesia and never rat you out! (Alternatively: the worst thing that can happen for a criminal or a pedophile is for them to reflect and feel bad about their actions. Don't bother trying to actually send them to jail.)
* ''Anime/PrincessTutu'':
** People who enjoy reading/writing stories with sad endings are wicked sadists.
** If you're having trouble starting off the story you're trying to write, insert a duck as a PlotDevice. It'll work wonders.
** Setting yourself on fire is an acceptable way of resolving your emotional issues.
** {{Fix Fic}}s save the day!
* ''Anime/PsychoPass'': Refusing to get treatment will make you criminally insane.
** Hostages are no longer hostages, they're overexposed. Thus they must also be treated as criminally insane.
** To outsmart a criminal, you need to think like a criminal. Therefore, all detectives are criminals in the making.
** Long story short ''EVERYBODY'' is criminally insane.
** Except the biggest criminal of all, who is actually [[OnlySaneMan perfectly sane]], albeit by the standards of the aforementioned [[PeaceAndLoveIncorporated world of mad people]]. Therefore, isn't [[ManipulativeBastard listening to him]] the [[HannibalHasAPoint logical thing to do?]]
* ''Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica'': Did someone just offer you the opportunity to make yourself truly happy? They cannot be trusted at all. And if they're only doing it because it will help save the universe in the long run, that means they must be destroyed.
** Teenage girls' dreams are the driving force behind humanity's progress.
** SaveScumming will eventually drive you to despair, as you see yourself failing again and again and start to doubt [[HopelessBossFight if it's even possible for you to succeed]].
** Doing what is necessary to prolong the end of the universe requires putting the well-being of everyone else in the universe before your own. This is a horrible, nightmarish, self-destructive process that no one in their right mind should agree to. You'd be better off letting everyone and everything die early.
** And being idealistic about this situation in any way will earn you a horrifyingly gruesome death.
** [[PoweredByAForsakenChild There is no force in the universe stronger than human suffering.]] [[DiabolusExMachina Not even physics or probability.]]
** If you commit yourself to fighting evil so that the boy you love can once again pursue his passion, he'll choose your friend instead, and you'll turn into a monster, requiring the girl who was starting to become friends with you to sacrifice herself to kill you.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: R - Z]]
* ''RanmaHalf'':
** ScrewTheRulesImBeautiful
** MightMakesRight.
** Ripping people off [[{{Greed}} for personal gain]] and [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey conning them with your looks]] is [[KarmaHoudini just fine]], even if you're [[AttractiveBentGender pretending to be something you're not]].
** The authorities never help anyone; if you want a job done right, do it yourself.
** If the choice is between a normal life and [[SacrificedBasicSkillForAwesomeTraining divorcing yourself near totally from mundane life to become an expert at]] SupernaturalMartialArts, then go for the latter.
*** It's okay to make your 5 or 6 year old son forsake a normal life just because you want him to grow up to be a BadAss with {{Charles Atlas Superpower}}s.
** Perversion is not only fun, it also [[ImmortalityImmorality helps you live longer]]! Just look out for the PervertRevengeMode.
*** Which is perfectly acceptable to use no matter [[MegatonPunch how hard you hit]] or [[HyperspaceMallet what you hit with]] if you're on the girl side, even if you're [[GenderBender really just]] [[ChivalrousPervert as bad]].
** If you're a boy and a girl who deny any interest in each other and fight each other verbally and sometimes physically, you're a perfect couple, just adorably "in denial" about it.
** It's cute and funny for a girl to beat on a boy because she's mad or embarrassed, but it's awful if a guy hits a girl who treats him bad.
** It's okay for a guy to mock a girl's most sensitive emotional/mental weaknesses simply because she's bad-tempered.
** It's okay for a girl to react to a boy with NoSocialSkills unthinkingly being a JerkAss by beating him with the nearest heavy object.
** If you've been chasing a girl and professing your love to her for at least ten years, despite the fact she insists she's not interested to the point she routinely beats you up and tells you she hates you, ''to your face'', keep at it! She's obviously just shy and will come to return your feelings soon. And if she finds another boy she genuinely does seem to like, well, he's obviously bewitched her, so [[MurderTheHypotenuse try to beat him to a pulp, even kill him if you have to, so she'll fall in love with you instead]].
** It's okay to revile a guy for stalking you because he claims to love you, but to do the exact same thing to a guy you actually do like and who doesn't seem to be interested in you.
** It's okay to blame someone for your having a BalefulPolymorph curse due a fight between the two of you that never happened, even if [[InsaneTrollLogic A: you were the one 4 days late to the fight, B: you were the one who chose to chase after him, and C: he was nowhere nearby (as far as you knew) when you were actually cursed]].
** If you're a boy and a girl says you've done something wrong, then you're always in the wrong. [[GenderBender Even if you're also a girl at the time]].
* ''Manga/RecorderAndRandsell'': Whenever you see an older looking gentleman walking with a little girl. Automatically [[MistakenForPedophile assume he is a pedo]] and arrest him immediately.
* ''SchoolRumble'': {{Tsundere}}s and YamatoNadeshiko are overrated. {{Genki Girl}}s are where it's at!
** LoveMakesYouStupid. Or possibly stupid people just fall in love more easily. But love and idiocy are definitely connected ''somehow''
* ''SerialExperimentsLain'': [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife The Internet will ruin your life.]]
** Committing suicide will turn you into a god.
* ''SilentMobius'' Even if you showed no inclination towards evil before [[TranshumanTreachery as soon as it's revealed that your powers come from a demonic source or heritage]] you will become evil. No exceptions.
** [[CartrightCurse If you love someone, they will die.]]
** It's your parents' fault that the world is so screwed up and [[GenerationXerox you're doomed to repeat their mistakes.]]
** The ideal law enforcement team is an AmazonBrigade [[YouGottaHaveBlueHair with hair the colors of the rainbow]]. No men allowed! They get in the way of the FanService and [[InvertedTrope they are only]] [[JamesBondage here to be kidnapped]] [[MenAreTheExpendableGender and killed.]]
* ''SoulEater'' (after overtaking the manga) Teamwork and skill aren't really all that important in the end. Courage is the only thing you need. Also, nothing anybody else did counted as "courageous" for some reason. That includes the father who got himself blown up (pointlessly, granted, but that's another [[FridgeLogic trope]]) to protect his kid.
** Fear is bad. If can't confront what you're afraid of, you're either evil or at least inadequate and must be shown sense. By force if necessary. Children horrifically abused by their mothers are not exempt from this treatment. If you're not brave, you risk becoming ''less than human''.
** From the manga, apparently there is such a thing as knowing too much, because it will drive you mad and into isolation.
** Mistreating people with OCD and/or taking advantage of their condition is HILARIOUS!
* ''Manga/StrawberryMarshmallow'': Acting like an obnoxious {{jerkass}} is a great way to get attention.
* ''SummerWars'': Teaming up to take down a computer virus that threatens the entire world is the perfect way to remedy any and all family issues.
* ''Anime/TengenToppaGurrenLagann'': Shouting "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?" solves most of life's problems, great or small.
** Even if you can wield the power of an entire universe, those you love dearest will still die, and there's not one damn thing you can do about it.
** Real men can learn any fighting skill through sheer testosterone and audacity because they have THE SOUL OF A MAN. Real women, uh, can be quite badass at a lower level, I guess?
*** {{Straw Vulcan}}s do not get a CrowningMomentofAwesome because THEY'RE MEAN AND THEIR LOGIC KEEPS THE HEROES FROM BEING MANLY AND AWESOME.
*** When your friend is distressed, [[{{ThereAreNoTherapists}} punch him in the face]] whilst howling "LET'S SEE YOU GRIT YOUR TEETH!" and everything will work out. He'll thank you later.
*** ANY PROBLEM can be solved with LIBERAL APPLICATION OF CAPITAL LETTERS.
** You can do anything!... [[FantasticAesop if you live in a universe where magical energy that reacts to]] [[HotBlooded hot blood]] exists.
*** The best solution to any problem is one that cannot possibly work, despite being awesome. It will work anyway.
** If you don't believe in yourself enough to be able to do [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7C27_lQdQQ this]], YouSuck.
** The world needs a LawfulNeutral person to to the dirty, {{AntiHero}}ic political stuff... [[TokenMinority but only one]]. Everybody else is morally obligated to be a ChaoticGood {{Badass}}.
** The only way you can ever step out of the shadow of your cooler, more charismatic friend and become your own man is if said friend dies.
** When a man and a woman should never get more friendly than waving across a room.
*** [[KissOfDeath If you kiss, you die.]]
*** [[DeathBySex If you have a child,]] [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt society dies.]]
*** [[LetsWaitAWhile If you wait until marriage,]] [[DwindlingParty your lover will die along with most of your friends.]] Then you'll become a wandering nameless {{Hobo}} and [[DyingAlone die alone]].
** Reasoned discussion will get you nowhere, but violence will solve all your problems. Militarism is the way to go.
* ''TsubasaReservoirChronicle'': So, your girlfriend got knocked into a coma, and the only way to get her out of it is to take a million-to-one shot at fixing it (and failing will probably get the ''both of you'' killed), and ''if'' you even succeed at all, she won't even remember who you are? Well if you don't jump on that million-to-one shot, you don't love her. Period.
** Never call out [[DealWithTheDevil the devil]] for her crap.
** If your girlfriend dies, don't worry. [[spoiler:She was probably a clone.]]
** [[HetIsEw The only straight people]] are [[spoiler:secretly monsters]].
* The {{Tsundere}}-archetype: Treating people like shit is fine so long as you're really attractive, doubly so in regards to your loved one(s). Give 'em hell!
** Even more so, the weaker partner in the relationship ([[UnfortunateImplications unfortuately, all too often]] [[DoubleStandard the female]]) can get away with this when her parner is powerful enough that she wouldn't stand a chance in a fair fight.
* ''VisualNovel/UminekoNoNakuKoroNi'': If you [[AmbitionIsEvil work hard and always apply yourself to achieving your goals]], then you too can become an utter psychopath.
** [[color:red:Attaching a color to what someone says is not a symptom of synesthesia, it is the key to understanding what is really going on around you.]]
** Brutally murdering your loved one's family, over and over again, is a great way to get him to accept you and will make him want to understand you.
* YosugaNoSora: It's okay to [[{{Twincest}} love and have sex with your twin]].
* ''Anime/YuGiOh'': It's fine to run a criminal empire that deals in forgery, extortion, and general thuggery as long as it is your ''really'' crazy other personality that pulls the extreme shit.
** [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney As long as you have money you can get away with anything]].
** Countries should drop military spending and invest in a children's card game, that'll make them rich. It worked for [=KaibaCorp=].
** Unless you're rich or are in possession of an ancient artifact, don't expect to go far in a tournament. If you do somehow manage to make it to the finals, [[CantCatchUp it's all]] [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption downhill from there]].
** No matter how competent you are, you will still lose any one on one contests against people with more friends than you.
** [[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Bullying is just wrong. Destroying peoples' minds with magical powers is A-OK!]]
** All your problems can be solved with CardGames. Your worth as a human being is directly related to how good you are at a children's card game.
** Authorities can't do anything other than oppress the poor.
** Cheating is OK as long as you do it with your heart.
** Any problem can be solved with '''BROOKLYN RAGE!!!'''
** [[AnimationAgeGhetto Liking children's cartoons at an adult age]] is a prime symptom of being a PsychopathicManchild.
** If you meet someone who has lost any loved ones through no fault of their own, they're probably evil or creepy, and it's okay to rub it in their face how they are all alone, and have no friends!
*** Better yet, if someone loses their loved ones, they will always become evil!
* ''Anime/YuGiOhGX'': [[TrueArtIsAngsty True heroes are emo, mental, and in a lot of pain]], so if you want to be a hero, [[FaceHeelTurn go bad]].
** If you suck at card games, you have no future. Because [[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Card Games are Serious Business]].
** ''[[Manga/YuGiOhGX GX Manga]]'': If you want to build your own deck so you can win by your own power, '''''don't'''''. Always stick with the deck your friend/mentor gave you. Otherwise, [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption you will (almost) always lose]]. [[HardWorkHardlyWorks Who cares about success by your own merits anyway?]]
* ''LightNovel/ZeroNoTsukaima'': Hey Girls! remember, if a boy annoys you, to even the smallest degree, always remember that physical violence is your friend! whether it's punching him in the face, striking him with a bottle or kicking him in the testicles (it's not as if he needs them for anything right?) every technique is a winner!
[[/folder]]

----

**** Later on in The Series: What? You won't kill your friend's murderer in an act of revenge. How dare you? You're despicable, clearly you don't care about your friend if you won't engage in pointless revenge that isn't going to bring him back anyway.

** Having lost an arm and a leg gives you the moral right to berate non-amputee people suffering an emotional breakdown for being wangsty. After all, if they haven't lost a limb (and got fully functional prostheses which are actually useful in combat and a superpower to boot) what could they know about pain? Don't worry, they'll thank you for opening their eyes afterwards.

* A {{Tsundere}} or a FauxActionGirl makes you a [[RonTheDeathEater horrible, irredeemable character]], but being a jerkass [[DracoInLeatherPants villain who commits the worst atrocities]] [[{{DoubleStandard}} because you have "cool" traits, is perfectly fine.]]

* '''Many harem series:''' The one who loves you the most is the one who [[{{Tsundere}} physically and verbally abuses you]] the most.

* ''LightNovel/BakaToTestToShoukanjuu": Even if a girl orders you around all the time and almost kills you daily if you even look at another girl, it's totally okay if she's hot or shy occasionally, and your friends will enable her and try to trap you in a marriage with her.

* '''Many harem series:''' The one who loves you the most is the one who [[TsunDere physically and verbally abuses you]] the most

* {{Hentai}} in general: [[EverythingTryingToKillYou Everything is out to rape you]].
** But you actually like it.
** Only if you're female. If you're male you're either the rapist, the guy whose girlfriend cheats on you with the rapist, or [[{{Uke}} so unmanly]] that the rapist considers you to be close enough.

* ''Anime/MartianSuccessorNadesico'': Religion is every bit as trite and meaningless as some stupid robot anime.

** Women are useless. They don't do anything right but cry and whine..

** The best way to make a better world for your dear sister is to have the entire world view you, the brother she loves and respects most of all, as a CompleteMonster.

** Mass-murder is AWESOME!!! There is NOTHING it cannot do. Start slaughtering people today and you too can have a [[TheDitz hot]] [[GenkiGirl girlfriend]], steady job, [[FanDumb legions of devoted followers]], and (drumroll please) . . . world peace! Even if you die! That's right, kids, [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans utopia]] can be yours, just make sure you start out by bumping off criminals . . . that way, you'll be justified no matter how much of a {{complete monster}} you become. [[BloodyBloodyAndrewJackson Everything you say]] and do [[BloodyBloodyAndrewJackson is right!]] Just remember these [[RuleOfThree three simple rules]]: 1) if you think they deserve to die, they deserve to die, 2) if they get in your way, they deserve to die, and 3) if the world isn't a utopia yet, that just means you haven't killed enough people! [[SchmuckBait Act now!]] Utopia is just a drawn out mass-murder session killing away!

* ''{{Noein}}'' It doesn't matter [[TheHero who you are]] or what you do or what choices you make-since there are infinite worlds out there you can bet that somewhere, [[FutureMeScaresMe in some future timeline]] or parallel universe there is a [[EvilCounterpart version of you]] that's a CompleteMonster [[OmnicidalManiac bent on destroying all of reality.]]

* ''Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica'': Did someone just offer you the opportunity to make yourself truly happy? They cannot be trusted at all. And if they're only doing it because it will help save the universe in the long run, that means they are a CompleteMonster and must be destroyed.

* ''VisualNovel/UminekoNoNakuKoroNi'': If you [[AmbitionIsEvil work hard and always apply yourself to achieving your goals]], then you too can become an [[CompleteMonster utter psychopath]].

** Trips to the the bathroom will usually end with girls seeing you as a pervert.