History UsefulNotes / CharlesIIOfSpain

Charles was the inevitable culmination of the Habsburgs' RoyalInbreeding. In order to maximize AltarDiplomacy to its fullest and keep alliances within their bounds, they practiced generation upon generation of cousin and uncle/niece marriages, none of them genetically catastrophic in isolation, but cumulatively... Modern DNA research has proved that Charles's quotient of consanguinity was ''higher'' than what we would expect to find in a case of either BrotherSisterIncest or ParentalIncest.

Doctors are still unsure of what exactly was up with him. The best theories are a combination of pituitary hormone deficiency and distal renal tubular acidosis, or perhaps a severe herpetic infection after birth. Charles was short, lame, slow-minded, and ''extremely'' sickly, with an oddly-shaped head and a Habsburgian mandibular prognathism even worse than that of his ancestor UsefulNotes/CharlesV, to the point he could barely chew at all. In a famous 20th-century quote, he was "always on the verge of death but repeatedly baffled Christendom by continuing to live."

Charles has been traditionally considered the embodiment of the decadence of Habsburg Spain, and modern readers could be hardly blamed for getting this impression -- but again, today's historiography believes his historical image became as twisted as his body due to the influence of his successors. He was a transitional king in the most extreme sense, the last ruler of a dynasty that ended up being replaced by their ancestral enemies, the French Bourbons -- who naturally had several good reasons to [[WrittenByTheWinners make him look as bad as possible]] so they could present themselves as the saviors and uplifters of the empire. This was also, by the way, a strong factor behind the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Legend_(Spain) Spanish Black Legend]], as the conquest of America and the empire's European military exploits were largely accomplishments of the Habsburg dynasty that the Bourbons didn't want to be remembered in a good light.

In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a true rival to Louis, so for most of his reign, he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' or royal ministers. By this point neither trade nor war brought much success, as no less than ''four'' wars against France happened during his reign,[[note]]The War of Devolution, where France invaded some Habsburg territories and [[EnemyMine forced Spain into an awkward alliance with England and the Dutch]]; the Franco-Dutch War, where it was now the Dutch's turn to get picked on by the French, and they had to have the Habsburgs bail them out; the War of the Reunions, in which France grabbed some territory from the Habsburgs; and the Nine Years' War, possibly the first world war, which saw France at its peak fighting to a stalemate with the Habsburgs, England, the Netherlands and Savoy all at once.[[/note]] in addition to the end of the Portuguese Restoration War and the ForeverWar with Muslims in North Africa, and given the state of things in Spain, it should not be a surprise that the empire got the shorter end of the stick in all of them -- a situation that would have proved taxing to even the most capable monarch. Unlike his predecessors, however, Charles actually chose ''good'' ministers, namely the capable Marquis of Villasierra, the Duke of Medinaceli and the Count of Oropesa, forming essentially a technocracy that succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and planting the seeds of its future recovering under Louis's descendants.[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with the interests of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in [[UsefulNotes/CharlesIIIOfSpain Charles III]], they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a fit of complacency and hubris.[[/note]] That the Bewitched and his circle managed to hold it all together and actually improve things might be one of the greatest cases of InspirationallyDisadvantaged in real life.

The Bewitched died of his last illness at the young age of 35, finally released from his tortuous existence. An autopsy report claims that his body "did not contain a single drop of blood; his heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water." If this contains even the slightest bit of truth, it might suffice again to show the state of things.

Naturally, the House of Habsburg was not going to let the Spanish Empire go so easily, and when combined with a host of other European countries fearing the emergence of a Bourbon superstate out of Spain and France,[[note]]This wasn't a silly thing. Economically ruined or not, Spain still had the largest, most developed overseas empire of all the European nations, controlled a good part of Italy and the Northern African coast, and had a strong military tradition and vast natural resources. Meanwhile, Louis XIV's France enjoyed an enormous demographic potential, had the strongest army in Europe at the time, and was placed back to back with Spain and Italy for an easy territorial defense. Together, the resultant Franco-Spanish Empire would have been the closest thing to UsefulNotes/TheRomanEmpire in millennia.[[/note]] things ultimately spiraled into the UsefulNotes/WarOfTheSpanishSuccession.

However, contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was neither mentally disabled nor , as he participated actively in politics in front of foreign envoys and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and indecisiveness have instead been attributed to growing up to become a [[ShrinkingViolet terribly shy, insecure person]] due to his multiple conditions, as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that never expected him to inherit the throne, and also the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders -- all of which combined were [[SerialEscalation inarguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence, and Charles himself came to believe it as well, following in the line of so many Habsburgs who were into mysticism. When many holy relics and magical remedies of varied bizarreness failed to heal him, an astrologer convinced Charles that his misfortunes were a [[GodIsDispleased divine punishment]] for having been too young to be on his father's deathbed, so he tried to remedy this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its forgiveness, but evidently the rotting Philip was not in the mood.

However, contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was not mentally disabled, as he participated actively in politics with foreign envoys and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and indecisiveness have instead been attributed to growing up to become a [[ShrinkingViolet terribly shy, insecure person]] due to his multiple conditions, as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that never expected him to inherit the throne, and also the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders -- all of which combined were [[SerialEscalation inarguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence, and Charles himself came to believe it as well, following in the line of so many Habsburgs who were into mysticism. When many holy relics and magical remedies of varied bizarreness failed to heal him, an astrologer convinced Charles that his misfortunes were a [[GodIsDispleased divine punishment]] for having been too young to be on his father's deathbed, so he tried to remedy this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its forgiveness, but evidently the rotting Philip was not in the mood.

He became king at the age of three, so a [[MotherMakesYouKing regency was maintained by his mother]], Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Spanish monarchy, as the dubious competence of Charles's predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally dethroned the Habsburgs as European hegemons. Their supremacy would be captured by the UsefulNotes/LouisXIV's France, whi already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles's own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a true case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and [[YankTheDogsChain only knocked Charles into a long depression]]. He had failed to produce an heir, possibly in part due to suffering from premature ejaculation (he was still likely sterile), and the court's efforts to ease things by administrating weird potions to the couple had only caused them both literal and figurative pain.

In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a true rival to Louis, so for most of his reign, he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants. Unlike his predecessors, however, he actually chose ''good'' ministers, forming essentially a technocracy that succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and planting the seeds of its future recovering under Louis's descendants,[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with the interests of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a fit of complacency and hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought much success. No less than ''four'' wars against France happened during his reign,[[note]]The War of Devolution, where France invaded some Habsburg territories and [[EnemyMine forced Spain into an awkward alliance with England and the Dutch]]; the Franco-Dutch War, where it was now the Dutch's turn to get picked on by the French, and they had to have the Habsburgs bail them out; the War of the Reunions, in which France grabbed some territory from the Habsburgs; and the Nine Years' War, possibly the first world war, which saw France at its peak fighting to a stalemate with the Habsburgs, England, the Netherlands and Savoy all at once.[[/note]] In addition to the end of the Portuguese Restoration War and the ForeverWar with Muslims in North Africa, and given the state of things in Spain, it should not be a surprise that the empire got the shorter end of the stick in all of them -- a situation that would have proved taxing to even the most capable monarch. That Charles and his circle managed to hold it all together and actually ''improve'' some things might be one of the greatest cases of InspirationallyDisadvantaged in real life.

The influence of the rising France, although more visible during the Bourbon era, was already strong enough for Charles's administration to FollowTheLeader, like re-structuring the regional disposition of the empire after the French national model and minimizing the role of indigenous languages in favor of teaching more intensely the empire's lingua franca (which put an end to UsefulNotes/PhilipII's adoption of Nahuatl and other native languages as co-official languages, although in practice they remained well-established and continued until today). However, in stark contrast, Charles also promoted a radical royal decree granting free citizenship to all runaway Black slaves from the British and French colonies who took refuge in the Spanish viceroyalties, a quite common occurrence back then due to Spain's laws making it easy for slaves to [[SlaveLiberation buy their freedom and ascend socially]].[[note]]Social mobility between slavery and freedom was a long tradition in the Spanish Empire, with many of them becoming conquistadors, landowners and qualified workforce, to the point Philip II had instated a special taxation on it due to how quick and frequent it was. Philip himself had one of those in his entourage, Juan Latino, a former slave that became the first Black college professor in western history.[[/note]] The decree, which only required slaves to become Catholic and join possible war efforts, led later to the Fuerte Mosé of Florida, the first settlement of free Black men in the current territory of the United States.

If you're looking for the ''other'' Charles II, the British one, he is [[UsefulNotes/CharlesII here]].

The influence of the rising France, although more visible during the Bourbon era, was already strong enough for Charles's administration to FollowTheLeader, like re-structuring the regional disposition of the empire after the French national model and minimizing the role of indigenous languages in favor of teaching more intensely the empire's lingua franca (which put an end to UsefulNotes/PhilipII's adoption of Nahuatl and other native languages as co-official languages, although in practice they remained well-established and continued until today). However, in stark contrast, Charles also promoted a radical royal decree granting free citizenship to all runaway Black slaves from the British and French colonies who took refuge in the Spanish viceroyalties, a quite common occurrence back then due to Spain's laws making it easy for slaves to [[SelfMadeMan buy their freedom and ascend socially]]. The decree, which only required slaves to become Catholic and join possible war efforts, led later to the Fuerte Mosé of Florida, the first settlement of free Black men in the current territory of the United States.

Naturally, the House of Habsburg was not going to let the Spanish Empire go so easily, and when combined with a host of other European countries fearing the emergence of a Bourbon superstate, things ultimately spiraled into the UsefulNotes/WarOfTheSpanishSuccession.

You may know him infinitely better as the poster boy of RoyallyScrewedUp, being essentially a [[BodyHorror poor, genetically disabled creature]] placed on the throne of an empire on which the sun never set by circumstances completely beyond his control. His historical legacy, however, is much more complicated and ambiguous than it looks at first sight, and assessments have varied through the centuries.

Charles was the inevitable culmination of the Habsburgs' RoyalInbreeding. They practiced generation upon generation of cousin and uncle/niece marriages, none of them genetically catastrophic in isolation, but cumulatively... Modern DNA research has proved that Charles's quotient of consanguinity was ''higher'' than what we would expect to find in a case of either BrotherSisterIncest or ParentalIncest.

However, contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was not mentally disabled, as he participated actively in politics with foreign envoys and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and indecisiveness have instead been attributed to growing up to become a [[ShrinkingViolet terribly shy, insecure person]] due to his multiple conditions, as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that never expected him to inherit the throne, and also the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders -- all of which combined were [[SerialEscalation inarguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence. Charles himself came to believe it as well, following in the line of so many Habsburgs who were into mysticism. When many holy relics and magical remedies of varied bizarreness failed to heal him, an astrologer convinced Charles that his misfortunes were a [[GodIsDispleased divine punishment]] for having been too young to be on his father's deathbed, so he tried to remedy this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its forgiveness, but evidently the rotting Philip was not in the mood.

Charles has been traditionally considered the embodiment of the decadence of Habsburg Spain, and modern readers could be hardly blamed for getting this impression -- but again, today's historiography believes his historical image became as twisted as his body due to the influence of his successors. He was a transitional king in the most extreme sense, the last ruler of a dynasty that ended up being replaced by their ancestral enemies, the French Bourbons -- who naturally had several good reasons to [[WrittenByTheWinners make him look as bad as possible]] so they could present themselves as the saviors and uplifters of the empire. This was also, by the way, a strong factor behind the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Legend_(Spain) Spanish Black Legend]], as the conquest of America and the empire's European military exploits were largely accomplishments of the Habsburg dynasty that the Bourbons didn't want to be remembered well.

He became king at the age of three, so a [[MotherMakesYouKing regency was maintained by his mother]], Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Spanish monarchy, as the incompetence of Charles's predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally dethroned the Habsburgs as European hegemons, a hegemony that would be captured by the UsefulNotes/LouisXIV's France, Louis already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles's own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a true case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and [[YankTheDogsChain only knocked Charles into a long depression]]. He had failed to produce an heir, possibly due to suffering from premature ejaculation, and the court's efforts to ease things by administrating weird potions to the couple had only caused them both literal and figurative pain.

In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a true rival to Louis, so for most of his reign, he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants. Unlike his predecessors, however, he actually chose ''good'' ministers, forming essentially a technocracy that succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and planting the seeds of its future recovering under Louis's descendants,[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with the interests of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a fit of complacency and hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought much success. No less than ''four'' wars against France happened during his reign,[[note]]The War of Devolution, where France invaded some Habsburg territories and [[EnemyMine forced Spain into an awkward alliance with England and the Dutch]]; the Franco-Dutch War, where it was now the Dutch's turn to get picked on by the French, and they had to have the Habsburgs bail them out; the War of the Reunions, in which France grabbed some territory from the Habsburgs; and the Nine Years' War, possibly the first world war, which saw France fighting to a stalemate with the Habsburgs, England, the Netherlands and Savoy all at once.[[/note]] In addition to the end of the Portuguese Restoration War and the ForeverWar with Muslims in North Africa, and given the state of things in Spain, it should not be a surprise that the empire got the shorter end of the stick in all of them -- a situation that would have proved taxing to even the most capable monarch. That Charles and his circle managed to hold it all together and actually ''improve'' some things might be one of the greatest cases of InspirationallyDisadvantaged in real life.

The influence of the rising France, although more visible during the Bourbon era, was already strong enough for Charles's administration to FollowTheLeader, like re-structuring the regional disposition of the empire after the French national model and minimizing the role of indigenous languages in favor of teaching more intensely the empire's lingua franca (which put an end to UsefulNotes/PhilipII's adoption of Nahuatl as a co-official language in New Spain, although in practice it remained well-established and continued until today). However, in stark contrast, Charles also promoted a radical royal decree granting free citizenship to all runaway Black slaves from the British and French colonies who took refuge in the Spanish viceroyalties, a quite common occurrence back then due to Spain's laws making it easy for slaves to [[SelfMadeMan buy their freedom and ascend socially]]. The decree, which only required slaves to become Catholic and join possible war efforts, led later to the Fuerte Mosé of Florida, the first settlement of free Black men in the current territory of the United States.

Towards the end of his life, having probably learned the ropes a bit better, Charles was more personally involved in actually governing and didn't depend so much on his cabinet, but his failing health forced him to half-voluntarily become a HenpeckedHusband to his new wife Maria Anna of Neuburg, a domineering lady who had been chosen for the high fertility of her family in an attempt to get an heir -- again with no success. His increasingly urgent succession turned out to be a problem due to this lack of an heir, and ultimately, among a competitive field of heirs presumptive and pressure from the Francophile factions (along the lines "if you can't beat them, join them"), he sided with his sister Maria Theresa, Louis XIV's queen, and appointed her grandson Philip of Anjou as heir to the throne. His Austrian relatives were livid, as they had expected he would appoint their Archduke Charles to keep things in the family, but in all likelihood it was probably the best option to save the unity of the Spanish Empire and hopefully one day restore its status in Europe. It might be ironic, or perhaps just natural, that a man cursed by generations of strategic planning would go out [[SpannerInTheWorks derailing all those plans forever]].

Charles II of Spain (6 November 1661 – 1 November 1700), best known as ''El Hechizado'' ("The Bewitched"), was the King of Spain, Naples, Sicily, and Sardinia, as well as Duke of Milan, Lord of the Netherlands and Count of Burgundy. Son of UsefulNotes/PhilipIV, he was the last Spanish [[UsefulNotes/TheSoundOfMartialMusic Habsburg]] ruler, ending the two-century dynasty by his inability to produce an heir, but you may know him infinitely better as the poster boy of RoyallyScrewedUp, being essentially a [[BodyHorror poor, genetically disabled creature]] placed on the throne of an empire on which the sun never set by circumstances completely beyond his control. His historical legacy, however, is much more complicated and ambiguous than it looks at first sight, and assessments have varied through the centuries.

Charles was the inevitable culmination of the endogamic practices of the Habsburgs, whose marriages had a frequency of RoyalInbreeding truly high even for their own time, but doctors are still unsure of what exactly was up with him, the best theories being a combination of pituitary hormone deficiency and distal renal tubular acidosis, or perhaps a severe herpetic infection after birth. Charles was short, lame, slow-minded, and ''extremely'' sickly, with an oddly-shaped head and a Habsburgian mandibular prognathism even worse than that of his ancestor UsefulNotes/CharlesV, to the point he could barely masticate at all. In a famous 20th-century quote, he was "always on the verge of death but repeatedly baffled Christendom by continuing to live". Modern DNA research has proved that Charles's quotient of consanguinity was ''higher'' than what we would expect to find in a case of either BrotherSisterIncest or ParentalIncest, which frankly speaks for itself about why the poor guy looked like the ([[DamnedByFaintPraise still probably embellished]]) portrait you see up there.

However, contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was not mentally disabled, as he participated actively in politics with foreign envoys and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and indecisiveness have instead been attributed to growing up to become a [[ShrinkingViolet terribly shy, insecure person]] due to his multiple conditions as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that never expected him to inherit the throne and also the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders -- all of which combined were [[SerialEscalation inarguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence, something which Charles himself, following in the line of so many Habsburgs who were into mysticism, came to believe. When many holy relics and magical remedies of varied bizarreness failed to heal him, an astrologer convinced Charles that his misfortunes were a [[GodIsDispleased divine punishment]] for having been too young to be on his father's deathbed, so he tried to remedy this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its forgiveness, but evidently the rotting Philip was not in the mood.

Charles has been traditionally considered the embodiment of the decadence of Habsburg Spain, and modern readers could be hardly blamed for getting this impression, but again, today's historiography believes his historical image became as twisted as his body due to the influence of his successors. He was a transitional king in the most extreme sense, the last ruler of a dynasty that ended up being replaced by their ancestral enemies, the French Bourbons -- who naturally had several good reasons to [[WrittenByTheWinners make him look as bad as possible]] so they could present themselves as the saviors and uplifters of the empire. This was also, by the way, a strong factor behind the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Legend_(Spain) Spanish Black Legend]], as the conquest of America and the empire's European military exploits were largely accomplishments of the Habsburg dynasty that the Bourbons didn't want to be remembered well.

He became king at the age of three, so a regency was maintained by his mother, Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Spanish monarchy, as the incompetence of Charles's predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally dethroned the Habsburgs as European hegemons, a hegemony that would be captured by the UsefulNotes/LouisXIV's France, Louis already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles's own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a true case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and [[YankTheDogsChain only knocked Charles into a long depression]]. He had failed to produce an heir, possibly due to suffering from premature ejaculation, and the court's efforts to ease things by administrating weird potions to the couple had only caused them both literal and figurative pain.

In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a true rival to Louis, so for most of his reign, he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants. Unlike his predecessors, however, he actually chose ''good'' ministers, forming essentially a technocracy that succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and planting the seeds of its future recovering under Louis's descendants,[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with the interests of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a fit of complacency and hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought much success. No less than ''four'' wars against France happened during his reign,[[note]]The War of Devolution, where France invaded some Habsburg territories and [[EnemyMine forced Spain into an awkward alliance with England and the Dutch]]; the Franco-Dutch War, where it was now the Dutch's turn to get picked on by the French, and they had to have the Habsburgs bail them out; the War of the Reunions, in which France grabbed some territory from the Habsburgs; and the Nine Years' War, possibly the first world war, which saw France fighting to a stalemate with the Habsburgs, England, the Netherlands and Savoy all at once.[[/note]] In addition to the end of the Portuguese Restoration War and the ForeverWar with Muslims in North Africa, and given the state of things in Spain, it should not be a surprise that the empire got the shorter end of the stick in all of them — a situation that would have proved taxing to even the most capable monarch. That Charles and his circle managed to hold it all together and actually ''improve'' some things might be one of the greatest cases of InspirationallyDisadvantaged in real life.

Towards the end of his life, having probably learned the ropes a bit better, Charles was more personally involved in actually governing and didn't depend so much on his cabinet, but his failing health forced him to half-voluntarily become a HenpeckedHusband to his new wife Maria Anna of Neuburg, a domineering lady who had been chosen for the high fertility of her family in an attempt to get an heir - again with no success. His increasingly urgent succession turned out to be a problem due to this lack of an heir, and ultimately, among a competitive field of heirs presumptive and pressure from the Francophile factions (along the lines "if you can't beat them, join them"), he sided with his sister Maria Theresa, Louis XIV's queen, and appointed her grandson Philip of Anjou as heir to the throne. His Austrian relatives were livid, as they had expected he would appoint their Archduke Charles to keep things in the family, but in all likelihood it was probably the best option to save the unity of the Spanish Empire and hopefully one day restore its status in Europe. It might be ironic, or perhaps just natural, that a man cursed by generations of strategic planning would go out [[SpannerInTheWorks derailing all those plans forever]].

The Bewitched died of his last illness at the young age of 35, finally released from his tortuous existence. An autopsy report claims that his body "did not contain a single drop of blood; his heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water". If this contains even the slightest bit of truth, it might suffice again to show the state of things.

If you're looking for the ''other'' Charles II, he is [[UsefulNotes/CharlesII here]].

The influence of the rising France, although more visible during the Bourbon era, was already strong enough for Charles's administration to FollowTheLeader, like re-structuring the regional disposition of the empire after the French national model and minimizing the role of indigenous languages in favor of teaching more intensely the empire's lingua franca (which put an end to UsefulNotes/PhilipII's adoption of Nahuatl as a co-official language in New Spain, although in practice it remained well-established and continued until today). However, in stark contrast, Charles also promoted a radical royal decree granting free citizenship to all runaway Black slaves from the British and French colonies who took refuge in the Spanish viceroyalties, a quite common occurrence back then due to Spain's laws making it easy for slaves to [[SelfMadeMan buy their freedom and ascend socially]]. The decree, which only required slaves to become Catholic and join possible war efforts, led later to the Fuerte Mosé of Florida, the first settlement of free black men in the current territory of the United States.

Charles II of Spain (6 November 1661 – 1 November 1700), best known as ''El Hechizado'' ("The Bewitched"), was the King of Spain, Naples, Sicily and Sardinia, as well as Duke of Milan, Lord of the Netherlands and Count of Burgundy. Son of UsefulNotes/PhilipIV, he was the last Spanish [[UsefulNotes/TheSoundOfMartialMusic Habsburg]] ruler, ending the two-century dynasty by his inability to produce an heir, but you may know him infinitely better as the poster boy of RoyallyScrewedUp, being essentially a [[BodyHorror poor, genetically disabled creature]] placed on the throne of an empire on which the sun never set by circumstances completely beyond his control. His historical legacy, however, is much more complicated and ambiguous than it looks at first sight, and assessments have varied through the centuries.

Charles was the inevitable culmination of the endogamic practices of the Habsburgs, whose marriages had a frequency of RoyalInbreeding truly high even for their own time, but doctors are still unsure of what exactly was up with him, the best theories being a combination of pituitary hormone deficiency and distal renal tubular acidosis, or perhaps a severe herpetic infection after birth. Charles was short, lame, slow-minded and ''extremely'' sickly, with an oddly-shaped head and a Habsburgian mandibular prognathism even worse than that of his ancestor UsefulNotes/CharlesV, to the point he could barely masticate at all. In a famous 20th century quote, he was "always on the verge of death but repeatedly baffled Christendom by continuing to live". Modern DNA research has proved that Charles' quotient of consanguinity was ''higher'' than what we would expect to find in a case of either BrotherSisterIncest or ParentalIncest, which frankly speaks for itself about why the poor guy looked like the ([[DamnedByFaintPraise still probably embellished]]) portrait you see up there.

However, contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was not mentally disabled, as he participated actively in politics with foreign envoys and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and indecisiveness have instead been attributed to growing up to become a [[ShrinkingViolet terribly shy, insecure person]] due to his multiple conditions, as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that never expected him to inherit the throne, and also the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders -- all of which combined were [[SerialEscalation inarguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence, something which Charles himself, following in the line of so many Habsburgs who were into mysticism, came to believe. When many holy relics and magical remedies of varied bizarreness failed to heal him, an astrologer convinced Charles that his misfortunes were a [[GodIsDispleased divine punishment]] for having been too young to be in his father's deathbed, so he tried to remedy this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its forgiveness, but evidently the rotting Philip was not in the mood.

Charles has been traditionally considered the embodiment of the decadence of Habsburg Spain, and modern readers could be hardly blamed for getting this impression, but again, today's historiography believes his historical image became as twisted as his body due to the influence of his successors. He was a transitional king in the most extreme sense, the last ruler of a dynasty that ended up being replaced by their ancestral enemies, the French Bourbons -- who naturally had several good reasons to [[WrittenByTheWinners make him look as bad as possible]] so they could present themselves as the saviors and uplifters of the empire. This was also, by the way, a strong factor behind of the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Legend_(Spain) Spanish Black Legend]], as the conquest of America and the empire's European military exploits were largely accomplishments of the Habsburg dynasty that the Bourbons didn't want to be remembered well.

He became king at the age of three, so a regency was maintained by his mother, Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for the control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Spanish monarchy, as the incompetence of Charles' predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally dethroned the Habsburgs as European hegemons, a hegemony that would be captured by the UsefulNotes/LouisXIV's France, Louis already having a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles' own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a true case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and [[YankTheDogsChain only knocked Charles into a long depression]]. He had failed to produce a heir, possible due to suffering from premature ejaculation, and the court's efforts to ease things by administrating weird potions to the couple had only caused them both literal and figurative pain.

In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a true rival to Louis, so for most of his reign he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants. Unlike his predecessors, however, he actually chose ''good'' ministers, forming essentially a technocracy that succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and plant the seeds of its future recovering under Louis's descendants,[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with the interests of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a fit of complacency and hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought much success. No less than ''four'' wars against France happened during his reign,[[note]]The War of Devolution, where France invaded some Habsburg territories and [[EnemyMine forced Spain into an awkward alliance with England and the Dutch]]; the Franco-Dutch War, where it was now the Dutch's turn to get picked on by the French, and they had to have the Habsburgs bail them out; the War of the Reunions, in which France grabbed some territory from the Habsburgs; and the Nine Years' War, possibly the first world war, which saw France fighting to a stalemate with the Habsburgs, England, the Netherlands and Savoy all at once.[[/note]] in addition to the end of the Portuguese Restoration War and the ForeverWar with Muslims in North Africa, and given the state of things in Spain, it should not be a surprise that the empire got the shorter end of stick in all of them — a situation that would have proved taxing to even the most capable monarch. That Charles and his circle managed to hold it all together and actually ''improve'' some things might be one of the greatest cases of InspirationallyDisadvantaged in real life.

The influence of the rising France, although more visible during the Bourbon era, was already strong enough for Charles' administration to FollowTheLeader, like re-structuring the regional disposition of the empire after the French national model and minimizing the role of indigenous languages in favor of teaching more intensely the empire's lingua franca (which put an end to UsefulNotes/PhilipII's adoption of Nahuatl as a co-official language in New Spain, although in practice it remained well-established and continued until today). However, in stark contrast, Charles also promoted a radical royal decree granting free citizenship to all runaway black slaves from the British and French colonies who took refuge in the Spanish viceroyalties, a quite common occurrence back then due to Spain's laws making it easy for slaves to [[SelfMadeMan buy their freedom and ascend socially]]. The decree, which only required slaves to become Catholic and join possible war efforts, led later to the Fuerte Mosé of Florida, the first settlement of free black men in the current territory of the United States.

Towards the end of his life, having probably learned the ropes a bit better, Charles was more personally involved in actually governing and didn't depend so much on his cabinet, but his failing health forced him to half-voluntarily become a HenpeckedHusband to his new wife Maria Anna of Neuburg, a domineering lady who had been chosen for the high fertility of her family in an attempt to get a heir - again with no success. His increasingly urgent succession turned out to be a problem due to this lack of an heir, and ultimately, among a competitive fields of heirs presumptive and pressure from the Francophile factions (along the lines "if you can't beat them, join them"), he sided with his sister Maria Theresa, Louis XIV's queen, and appointed her grandson Philip of Anjou as heir to the throne. His Austrian relatives were livid, as they had expected he would appoint their Archduke Charles to keep things in the family, but in all likelihood it was probably the best option to save the unity of the Spanish Empire and hopefully one day restore its status in Europe. It might be ironic, or perhaps just natural, that a man cursed by generations of strategic planning would go out [[SpannerInTheWorks derailing all those plans forever]].

Charles II of Spain (6 November 1661 – 1 November 1700), best known as ''El Hechizado'' ("The Bewitched"), was the King of Spain, Naples, Sicily and Sardinia, as well as Duke of Milan, Lord of the Netherlands and Count of Burgundy. Son of UsefulNotes/PhilipIV, he was the last Spanish [[UsefulNotes/TheSoundOfMartialMusic Habsburg]] ruler, ending the two-century dynasty by his inability to produce an heir, but you may know him infinitely better as the poster boy of RoyallyScrewedUp, being essentially a [[BodyHorror poor, genetically disabled creature]] placed in the throne of the empire on which the sun never set by circumstances way over his head. His historical legacy, however, is much more complicated and ambiguous than it looks at first sight, and his assessment have varied through the centuries.

The good king was the inevitable culmination of the endogamic practices of the Habsburgs, whose marriages had a frequency of RoyalInbreeding truly high even for their own time, but medics are still unsure of what exactly was up with him, the best theories being a combination of pituitary hormone deficiency and distal renal tubular acidosis, or perhaps a severe herpetic infection after birth. Charles was short, lame, slow-minded and ''extremely'' sickly, with an oddly-shaped head and a Habsburgian mandibular prognathism even worse than that of his ancestor UsefulNotes/CharlesV, to the point he could barely masticate at all. In a famous 20th century quote, he was "always on the verge of death but repeatedly baffling Christendom by continuing to live". Modern DNA research has proved that Charles' quotient of consanguinity was ''higher'' than what we would expect to find in a case of either BrotherSisterIncest or ParentalIncest, which frankly speaks by himself about why did this poor man look like the still probably embellished portrait at the right.

However, contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was not mentally disabled, as he participated actively in politics with foreign envoys and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and indecisiveness have been rather attributed to growing up to become a [[ShrinkingViolet terribly shy, insecure person]] due to his multiple conditions, as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that didn't believe he would live to inherit the throne, and not any less to the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders -- all of which might have been [[AndIMustScream arguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence, something which Charles himself, in the line of so many Habsburgs who were into mysticism, went to share. When many holy relics and magical remedies of varied bizarreness failed to heal him, an astrologer convinced Charles that his misfortunes were a [[GodIsDispleased divine punishment]] for having been too young to be in his father's deathbed, so he tried to remediate this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its pardon, but it seems the rotting Philip was not in the mood.

Charles has been traditionally considered the embodiment of the decadence of Habsburg Spain, and readers could be hardly blamed for getting this impression, but again, modern historiography believes his historical image became as deformed as his body due to the influence of his successors. He was a transitional king in the most extreme sense, the last ruler of a family that went to be replaced by their ancestral enemies -- Austrian Habsburgs go out, French Bourbons go in -- which means there was a lot of interest on the next dynasty to [[HeroWithBadPublicity make him look as bad as possible]] so they could present themselves as the saviors and enlighteners of the empire. This was also, by the way, a strong factor behind of the Spanish Black Legend, as the Conquest of America and the empire's European military exploits were largely things of the Habsburg dynasty that no Bourbon wanted to see well remembered.

He became king at the age of three, so a regency was maintained by his mother, Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for the control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Hispanic Monarchy, as the consecutive incompetence of Charles' predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally divested the Habsburgs off the European hegemony, now captured by the continental juggernaut that was the France of UsefulNotes/LouisXIV, who already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles' own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a true case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and only knocked Charles into a long depression. He had failed to produce a heir, maybe not by the sole reason that he apparently was a premature ejaculator, and the court's efforts to ease things by administrating weird potions to the couple had only caused them both literal and figurative pain.

In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a counterpoint to Louis, so for most of his reign he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants. Unlike his predecessors, however, he actually chose well his ministers, forming essentially a technocracy that succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and plant the seeds of its future recovering under Louis's descendants,[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with the interests of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a paroxysm of complacency and hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought consolation. Not less than four wars against France happened during his reign,[[note]]The War of Devolution, where France invaded some Habsburg territories and forced Spain to improbably join forces with England and Dutch; the Franco-Dutch War, where France now beat up the Dutch and caused it the Habsburgs to come to the rescue; the War of the Reunions, in which France snatched some territory from the Habsburgs; and the Nine Years' War, possibly the first world war, which saw France engaging and roughly stalemating the Habsburgs, England, the Netherlands and Savoy all at once.[[/note]] added to the ending of the Portuguese Restoration War and the places of Northern Africa perpetually compromised by the Muslims, and given the state of things in Spain, it should not be a surprise that the empire got the shorter end of stick in all of them — a situation that would have wrecked the nerves of the most capable monarch. That Charles and his circle managed to hold it all together and actually even improve anything at all might be one of the greatest cases of InspirationallyDisadvantaged in real life.

The influence of the rising France, although more visible during the Bourbonic era, was already strong enough for Charles' administration to start copying their pattern, like re-structuring the regional disposition of the empire after the French national model and minimizing the role of indigenous languages in favor of teaching more intensely the empire's lingua franca (which put an end to UsefulNotes/PhilipII's adoption of Nahuatl as a co-official language in New Spain, although in practice it remained well-established and continued until today). However, in stark contrast, Charles also promoted a revolutionary royal decree conceding free citizenship to all the runaway black slaves from the British and French colonies who took refuge in the Spanish viceroyalties, a quite common occurence back then due to Spain's laws making it easy for slaves to [[SelfMadeMan buy their freedom and ascend socially]]. The phenom, which only required slaves to become Catholic and join possible war efforts, led later to the Fuerte Mosé of Florida, the first settlement of free black men in the current territory of the United States.

Towards the end of his life, having probably learned the ropes a bit better, Charles was more personally involved in actually governing and didn't depend so much on help, but his failing health forced him to half-voluntarily become a HenpeckedHusband to his new wife Maria Anna of Neuburg, a domineering lady who had been chosen for the high fertility of her family in an attempt to get a heir - yet still with no success. His increasingly urgent succession turned out to be a problem on the face of this absence of heirs, and ultimately, among a competitive fields of heirs presumptive, and pressured by Francophile factions that called for the "if you cannot beat them, join them", he went for his sister Maria Theresa, Louis XIV's queen, and appointed her grandson Philip of Anjou as heir to the throne. His Austrian relatives were livid, as they had expected he would appoint their Archduke Charles to keep things in the family, but the last Spanish Habsburg had instead elected simply the best option to save the unity of the Spanish Empire and hopefully restore its status in Europe. It might be ironic, or perhaps just natural, that a man cursed by generations of strategic planning would go out [[SpannerInTheWorks derailing all those plans forever]].

The Bewitched died of his last illness at the young age of 35, finally released from his tortuous existence. An autopsy report claims that his body "did not contain a single drop of blood; his heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water". In case of containing even the tiniest bit of truth, this testimony might suffice again to show the state of things.

Naturally, the House of Habsburg was not going to let the Spanish Empire escape so easily, adding to the rest of European countries that feared that, with the Bourbons controlling now both the biggest and the baddest countries in Europe, the emergence of an unified super-superpower was a matter of time, so the whole story went to conclude in the UsefulNotes/WarOfTheSpanishSuccession.

If you're looking for the ''other'' Charles II, who died without legitimate heirs, but still begat illegitimate descendants, he is [[UsefulNotes/CharlesII here]].

Charles II of Spain (6 November 1661 – 1 November 1700), best known as ''El Hechizado'' ("The Bewitched"), was the King of Spain, Naples, Sicily and Sardinia, as well as Duke of Milan, Lord of the Netherlands and Count of Burgundy. Son of Philip IV, he was the last Spanish [[UsefulNotes/TheSoundOfMartialMusic Habsburg]] ruler, ending the two-century dynasty by his inability to produce an heir, but you may know him infinitely better as the poster boy of RoyallyScrewedUp, being essentially a [[BodyHorror poor, genetically disabled creature]] placed in the throne of the empire on which the sun never set by circumstances way over his head. His historical legacy, however, is much more complicated and ambiguous than it looks at first sight, and his assessment have varied through the centuries.

However, contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was not mentally disabled, as he participated actively in politics and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and indecisiveness have been rather attributed to growing up to become a [[ShrinkingViolet terribly shy, insecure person]] due to his multiple conditions, as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that didn't believe he would live to inherit the throne, and not any less to the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders -- all of which might have been [[AndIMustScream arguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence, something which Charles himself, in the line of so many Habsburgs who were into mysticism, went to share. When many holy relics and magical remedies of varied bizarreness failed to heal him, an astrologer convinced Charles that his misfortunes were a [[GodIsDispleased divine punishment]] for having been too young to be in his father's deathbed, so he tried to remediate this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its pardon, but it seems the rotting Philip was not in the mood.

He became king at the age of three, so a regency was maintained by his mother, Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for the control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Hispanic Monarchy, as the consecutive incompetence of Charles' predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally divested the Habsburgs off the European hegemony, now captured by the political juggernaut that was the France of UsefulNotes/LouisXIV, who already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles' own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a true case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and only knocked Charles into a long depression. He had failed to produce a heir, maybe not by the sole reason that he apparently was a premature ejaculator, and the court's efforts to ease things by administrating weird potions to the couple had only caused them both literal and figurative pain.

In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a counterpoint to Louis, so for most of his reign he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants that formed essentially a technocracy - and this proved to be possibly the best decision taken by a Spanish king in ages, as their measure succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and plant the seeds of its future recovering under Louis's descendants,[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with the interests of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a paroxysm of complacency and hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought consolation. Not less than five wars against France happened during his reign, added to the ending of the Portuguese Restoration War and the places of Northern Africa perpetually compromised by the Muslims, and given the state of things in Spain, it should not surprise that the empire got the shorter end of stick from all of them -- a situation that would have wrecked the nerves of the most capable monarch. That Charles and his circle managed to hold it all together and actually even improve anything at all might be one of the greatest cases of InspirationallyDisadvantaged in real life.

Charles has been traditionally considered the embodiment of the decadence of Habsburg Spain, and readers could be hardly blamed for getting this impression, but again, modern historiography believes mainstream accounts of Charles' reign became as deformed as his body due to the influence of his successors. He was a transitional king in the most extreme sense, the last ruler of a family that went to be replaced by their ancestral enemies -- Austrian Habsburgs go out, French Bourbons go in -- which means there was a lot of interest on the next dynasty to [[HeroWithBadPublicity make him look as bad as possible]] so they could present themselves as the saviors and enlighteners of the empire. This was also, by the way, a strong factor behind of the Spanish Black Legend, as the Conquest of America and the empire's European military exploits were largely things of the Habsburg dynasty that no Bourbon wanted to see well remembered.

He did take the reins at the end of his life, but by then his failing health forced him to half-voluntarily become a HenpeckedHusband to his new wife Maria Anna of Neuburg, who had been chosen for the high fertility of her family in an attempt to get a heir, yet still with no success. His increasingly urgent succession also turned out to be a problem on the face of this absence of heirs, and ultimately, among a competitive fields of heirs presumptive, and pressured by Francophile factions, he went for his sister Maria Theresa, Louis XIV's queen, and appointed her grandson Philip of Anjou as heir to the throne. However, the House of Habsburg was not going to let the Spanish Empire escape so easily, so when Charles died, finally released from his tortuous existence (an autopsy report claims that Charles' "heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water", which, in case of containing even the tiniest bit of truth, might suffice again), the story went to conclude in UsefulNotes/WarOfTheSpanishSuccession.

However, contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was not mentally disabled, as he participated actively in politics and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and indecisiveness have been rather attributed to growing up to become a [[ShrinkingViolet terribly shy, insecure person]] due to his multiple conditions, as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that didn't believe he would live to inherit the throne, and not any less to the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders - all of which might have been [[AndIMustScream arguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence, something which Charles himself, in the line of so many Habsburgs who were into mysticism, went to share. When many holy relics and magical remedies of varied bizarreness failed to heal him, an astrologer convinced Charles that his misfortunes were a [[GodIsDispleased divine punishment]] for having been too young to be in his father's deathbed, so he tried to remediate this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its pardon, but it seems the rotting Philip was not in the mood.

Charles has been traditionally considered the embodiment of the decadence of Habsburg Spain, and readers could be hardly blamed for getting this impression, but again, modern historiography believes mainstream accounts of Charles' reign became as deformed as his body due to the influence of his successors. He was a transitional king in the most extreme sense, the last ruler of a family that went to be replaced by their ancestral enemies - Austrian Habsburgs go out, French Bourbons go in - which means there was a lot of interest on the next dynasty to [[HeroWithBadPublicity make him look as bad as possible]] so they could present themselves as the saviors and enlighteners of the empire. This was also, by the way, a strong factor behind of the Spanish Black Legend, as the Conquest of America and the empire's European military exploits were largely things of the Habsburg dynasty that no Bourbon wanted to see well remembered.

In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a counterpoint to Louis, so for most of his reign he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants that formed essentially a technocracy - and this proved to be possibly the best decision taken by a Spanish king in ages, as their measure succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and plant the seeds of its future recovering under Louis's descendants,[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with the interests of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a paroxysm of complacency and hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought consolation. Not less than five wars against France happened during his reign, added to the ending of the Portuguese Restoration War and the places of Northern Africa perpetually compromised by the Muslims, and given the state of things in Spain, it should not surprise that the empire got the shorter end of stick from all of them - a situation that would have wrecked the nerves of the most capable monarch. That Charles and his circle managed to hold it all together and actually even improve anything at all might be one of the greatest cases of InspirationallyDisadvantaged in real life.

If you're looking for the ''other'' Charles II, who died without legitimate heirs, but still begat illegitimate descendants, he is [[UsefulNotes/CharlesII here]].

----

The good king was the inevitable culmination of the endogamic practices of the Habsburgs, whose marriages had a frequency of RoyalInbreeding truly high even for their own time, but medics are still unsure of what exactly was up with him, the best theories being a combination of pituitary hormone deficiency and distal renal tubular acidosis, or perhaps a severe herpetic infection after birth. Charles was short, lame, slow-minded and extremely sickly, with an oddly-shaped head and a Habsburgian mandibular prognathism even worse than that of his ancestor UsefulNotes/CharlesV, to the point he could barely masticate at all. In a famous 20th century quote, he was "always on the verge of death but repeatedly baffling Christendom by continuing to live". Modern DNA research has proved that Charles' quotient of consanguinity was ''higher'' than what we would expect to find in a case of either BrotherSisterIncest or ParentalIncest, which frankly speaks by himself about why did this poor man look like the still probably embellished portrait at the right.

However, contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was not mentally disabled, as he participated actively in politics and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and indecisiveness have been rather attributed to growing up to become a [[ShrinkingViolet terribly shy, insecure person]] due to his multiple conditions, as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that didn't believe he would live to inherit the throne, and not any less to the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders - all of which might have been [[AndIMustScream arguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence, something which Charles himself, in the line of so many Habsburgs who were into mysticism, went to share, believing that his misfortunes were a [[GodIsDispleased divine punishment]] for having been too young to be in his father's deathbed. He tried to remediate this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its pardon, but it seems the rotting Philip was not in the mood.

Charles has been traditionally considered the embodiment of the decadence of Habsburg Spain, and readers could be hardly blamed for getting this impression, but again, modern historiography believes mainstream accounts of Charles' reign became as deformed as his body due to the influence of his successors. He was a transitional king in the most extreme sense, the last ruler of a family that went to be replaced by their ancestral enemies - Austrian Habsburgs go out, French Bourbons go in - which means there was a lot of interest on the next dynasty to [[HeroWithBadPublicity make him look as bad as possible]] so they could present themselves as the saviors and enlighteners of the empire. This was also, by the way, a strong factor behind of the Spanish Black Legend, as the Conquest of America and the empire's European military exploits were largely things of the Habsburg dynasty that no Bourbon wanted to see supported.

He became king at the age of three, so a regency was maintained by his mother, Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for the control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Hispanic Monarchy, as the consecutive incompetence of Charles' predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally divested the Habsburgs off the European hegemony, now captured by the political juggernaut that was the France of UsefulNotes/LouisXIV, who already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles' own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and only knocked Charles into a long depression. In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a counterpoint to Louis, so for most of his reign he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants that formed essentially a technocracy - and this proved to be possibly the best decision taken by a Spanish king in ages, as their measure succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and plant the seeds of its future recovering (under Louis's descendants),[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with the interests of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a paroxysm of complacency and hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought consolation.

He did take the reins at the end of his life, but by then his failing health forced him to half-voluntarily become a HenpeckedHusband to his new wife Maria Anna of Neuburg. His increasingly urgent succession also turned out to be a problem, as he proved repeatedly unable to produce a heir, and ultimately, among a competitive fields of heirs presumptive, and pressured by Francophile factions, he went for his sister Maria Theresa, Louis XIV's queen, and appointed her grandson Philip of Anjou as heir to the throne. However, Maria Anna had been chosen by the House of Habsburg to secure the succession, and her family was not going to let the throne of the Spanish Empire escape so easily, so when Charles died, finally released from his tortuous existence (an autopsy report claims that Charles' "heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water", which, in case of containing even the tiniest bit of truth, might suffice again), the story went to conclude in UsefulNotes/WarOfTheSpanishSuccession.

He became king at the age of three, so a regency was maintained by his mother, Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for the control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Hispanic Monarchy, as the consecutive incompetence of Charles' predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally divested the Habsburgs off the European hegemony, now captured by the political juggernaut that was the France of UsefulNotes/LouisXIV, who already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles' own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and only knocked Charles into a long depression. In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a counterpoint to Louis, so for most of his reign he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants that formed essentially a technocracy - and this proved to be possibly the best decision taken by a Spanish king in ages, as their measure succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and plant the seeds of its future recovering (under Louis's descendants),[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with the interests of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a paroxysm of complacency hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought consolation.

He became king at the age of three, so a regency was maintained by his mother, Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for the control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Hispanic Monarchy, as the consecutive incompetence of Charles' predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally divested the Habsburgs off the European hegemony, now captured by the political juggernaut that was the France of UsefulNotes/LouisXIV, who already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles' own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and only knocked Charles into a long depression. In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a counterpoint to Louis, so for most of his reign he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants that formed essentially a technocracy - and this proved to be possibly the best decision taken by a Spanish king in ages, as their measure succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and plant the seeds of its future recovering (under Louis's descendants),[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run, largely by appointing competent people to run the government and aligning their incentives with those of the Crown. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a paroxysm of complacency hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought consolation.

He became king at the age of three, so a regency was maintained by his mother, Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for the control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Hispanic Monarchy, as the consecutive incompetence of Charles' predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally divested the Habsburgs off the European hegemony, now captured by the political juggernaut that was the France of UsefulNotes/LouisXIV, who already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles' own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and only knocked Charles into a long depression. In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a counterpoint to Louis, so for most of his reign he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants that formed essentially a technocracy - and this proved to be possibly the best decision taken by a Spanish king in ages, as their measure succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and plant the seeds of its future recovering (under Louis's descendants),[[note]]The first few Spanish Bourbons undertook a reasonably successful program of reforms that moderately revitalized the Spanish economy and made the Spanish Empire more efficient and well-run. But after reaching a peak in Charles III, they quickly went downhill and lost it all in a paroxysm of complacency hubris.[[/note]] even if by this point neither trade nor war brought consolation.

He became king at the age of three, so a regency was maintained by his mother, Mariana of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate stepson John Joseph of Austria for the control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Hispanic Monarchy, as the consecutive incompetence of Charles' predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally divested the Habsburgs off the European hegemony, now captured by the political juggernaut that was the France of UsefulNotes/LouisXIV, who already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles' own brother-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and only knocked Charles into a long depression. In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a counterpoint to Louis, so for most of his reign he entrusted his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants that formed essentially a technocracy - and this proved to be possibly the best decision taken by a Spanish king in ages, as their measure succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and plant the seeds of its future recovering, even if by this point neither trade nor war brought consolation.

Charles II of Spain (6 November 1661 – 1 November 1700), best known as ''El Hechizado'' ("The Bewitched"), was the King of Spain, Naples, Sicily and Sardinia, as well as Duke of Milan, Lord of the Netherlands and Count of Burgundy. Son of Philip IV, he was the last Spanish [[UsefulNotes/TheSoundOfMartialMusic Habsburg]] ruler, ending the two-century dynasty by his inability to produce an heir, but you may know him infinitely better as the poster boy of RoyallyScrewedUp, being essentially a poor, genetically disabled creature placed in the throne of the empire on which the sun never set by circumstances way over his head. His historical legacy, however, is much more complicated and ambiguous than it looks at first sight.

However, and contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was not mentally disabled, as he participated actively in politics and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and indecisiveness have been rather attributed to growing up to become a terribly shy, insecure person due to his multiple conditions, as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that didn't believe he would live to inherit the throne, and not any less to the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders - all of which might have been [[AndIMustScream arguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence, something which Charles himself, in the line of so many Habsburgs who were into the occult, went to share, believing that his misfortunes were a divine punishment for having been too young to be in his father's deathbed. He tried to remediate this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its pardon, but it seems Philip was not in the mood.

Charles has been traditionally considered the embodiment of the decadence of Habsburg Spain, and readers could be hardly blamed for getting this impression, but again, modern historiography believes mainstream accounts of Charles' reign became as deformed as himself due to the influence of his successors. He was a transitional king in the most extreme sense, the last ruler of a family that went to be replaced by their ancestral enemies - Austrian Habsburgs go out, French Bourbons go in - which means there was a lot of interest on the next dynasty to make him look as bad as possible so they could present themselves as the saviors and enlighteners of the empire. This was also, by the way, a strong factor behind of the Spanish Black Legend, as the Conquest of America and the empire's European military exploits were largely things of the Habsburg dynasty that no Bourbon wanted to see.

Charles II of Spain (6 November 1661 – 1 November 1700), best known as ''El Hechizado'' ("The Bewitched"), was the King of Spain, Naples, Sicily and Sardinia, as well as Duke of Milan, Lord of the Netherlands and Count of Burgundy. Son of Philip III, he was the last Spanish [[UsefulNotes/TheSoundOfMartialMusic Habsburg]] ruler, ending the two-century dynasty by his inability to produce a heir, but you may know him infinitely better as the poster boy of RoyallyScrewedUp, being essentially a poor, genetically disabled creature placed in the throne of the empire on which the sun never set by circumstances way over his head. His historical legacy, however, is much more complicated and ambiguous than it looks at first sight.

The good king was inevitable culmination of the endogamic practices of the Habsburg, whose marriages had a frequency of RoyalInbreeding truly high even for their own time, but medics are still unsure of what exactly was up with him, the best theories being a combination of pituitary hormone deficiency and distal renal tubular acidosis, or perhaps a severe herpetic infection after birth. Charles was short, lame, slow-minded and extremely sickly, with an oddly-shaped head and a Habsburgian mandibular prognathism even worse than that of his ancestor UsefulNotes/CharlesV, to the point he could barely masticate at all. In a famous 20th century quote, he was "always on the verge of death but repeatedly baffling Christendom by continuing to live". Modern DNA research has proved that Charles' quotient of consanguinity was ''higher'' than what we would expect to find in a case of either BrotherSisterIncest or ParentalIncest, which frankly speaks by himself about why did this poor man look like the still probably embellished portrait at the right.

However, and contrary to popular belief and traditional academia, modern research has also strongly suggested that he was not mentally disabled, as he participated actively in politics and was a prolific hunter. His infamous languor and undecisiveness have been rather attributed to growing up to become a terribly shy, insecure person due to his multiple conditions, as well as the neglect of a DeadlyDecadentCourt that didn't believe he would live to inherit the throne, and not any less to the sheer weight of an empire of his shoulders - all of which might have been [[AndIMustScream arguably worse]]. He gained his nickname of "Bewitched" by popular superstition believing he was the target of Satanic influence, something which Charles himself, in the line of so many Habusburg who were into the occult, went to share, believing that his misfortunes were a divine punishment for having been too young to be in his father's deathbed. He tried to remediate this by having the corpse exhumed and begging it for its pardon, but it seems Philip was not in the mood.

Charles has been traditionally considered the embodiment of the decadence of the Habsburg Spain, and readers could be hardly blamed for getting this impression, but again, modern historiography believes mainstream accounts of Charles' reign became as deformed as himself due to the influence of his successors. He was a transitional king in the most extreme sense, the last ruler of a family that went to be replaced by their ancestral enemies - Austrian Habsburgs go out, French Bourbons go in - which means there was a lot of interest on the next dynasty to make him look as bad as possible so they could present themselves as the saviors and enlighteners of the empire. This was also, by the way, a strong factor behind of the Spanish Black Legend, as the Conquest of America and the empire's European military exploits were largely things of the Habsburg dynasty that no Bourbon wanted to see.

He became king at the age of three, so regency was maintained by his mother, Marianna of Austria, who struggled against her illegitimate son-in-law John Joseph of Austria for the control of the empire. It was a convoluted time for the Hispanic Monarchy, as the consecutive incompetence of Charles' predecessors and the rise of their rivals had finally divested the Austrias off the European hegemony, now captured by the political juggernaut that was the France of UsefulNotes/LouisXIV, who already had a hand in Spain by being John Joseph's backer and Charles' own son-in-law. After the fruitless attempt to limit French expansion that was the Franco-Dutch War, Charles too was married off to Louis' niece Marie Louise, a case of UglyGuyHotWife that lit up a bit his life, although she died very young and only knocked Charles into a long depression. In any case, Charles was always conscious of his inability to become a counterpoint to Louis, so for most of his reign he entasked his kingdom to several ''validos'' and royal lieutenants that formed essentially a technocracy - and this proved to be possibly the best decision taken by a Spanish king in ages, as their measure succeeded at ameliorating the ruin of the empire and plant the seeds of its future recovering, even if by this point neither trade nor war brought consolation.

He did take the reins at the end of his life, but by then his failing health forced him to half-voluntarily become a HenpeckedHusband to his new wife Marianna of Neoburg. His increasingly urgent succession also turned out to be a problem, as he proved repeatedly unable to produce a heir, and ultimately, among a competitive fields of heir apparents, and pressured by Francophile factions, he went for his sister Maria Theresa, Louis XIV's queen, and appointed her grandson Philip of Anjou as heir to the throne. However, Marianna had been chosen by the House of Habsburg to secure the sucession, and her family was not going to let the throne of the Spanish Empire escape so easily, so when Charles died, finally released from his tortuous existence (an autopsy report claims that Charles' "heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water", which, in case of containing even the tiniest bit of truth, might suffice again), the story went to conclude in UsefulNotes/WarOfTheSpanishSuccession.