History TooDumbToLive / MythsAndReligion

11th Nov '16 3:15:19 PM margdean56
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** Adam and Eve. You live in a garden of paradise and pleasure free of pain, sickness and disease. God (immortal, omnipresent, omnipotent, famously short temper) tells you that there is only one rule. ''Don't then go and eat the fruit like a moron...'' The fruit bears the ''knowledge'' of Good and Evil. The only reason they didn't eat it was because God said don't do it, and they were like "Cool, whatevs." Then along come a [[SmugSnake serpent]] who, for whatever reason, thinks it would be just peachy-keen to go and make the humans do it anyway. He does it either by tricking the humans or flat out ''lying'' about the whole thing and getting them to defy God's will because they literally didn't know any better. So chock the snake right up there with A&E as fitting this trope, since even if they hadn't ratted him out, God still would have known who put them up to it and took away its limbs and make snakes and humans eternal enemies.
** Lot's wife. Lot's family was explicitly told not to look back at Sodom and Gomorrah, but she still did so. The end result? She's the sole individual being turned into a salt pillar.

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** Adam and Eve. You live in a garden of paradise and pleasure free of pain, sickness and disease. God (immortal, omnipresent, omnipotent, famously short temper) tells you that there is only one rule. ''Don't then go and eat the fruit like a moron...'' The fruit bears the ''knowledge'' of Good and Evil. The only reason they didn't eat it was because God said don't do it, and they were like "Cool, whatevs." Then along come a [[SmugSnake serpent]] who, for whatever reason, thinks it would be just peachy-keen to go and make the humans do it anyway. He does it either by tricking the humans or flat out ''lying'' about the whole thing and getting them to defy God's will because they literally didn't know any better. So chock chalk the snake right up there with A&E as fitting this trope, since even if they hadn't ratted him out, God still would have known who put them up to it and took taken away its limbs and make made snakes and humans eternal enemies.
** Lot's wife. Lot's family was explicitly told not to look back at Sodom and Gomorrah, but she still did so. The end result? She's the sole individual being ever turned into a salt pillar.



** Satan. While the Bibles portrayal of God and Satan don't exactly match current understandings (the Book of Job shows Satan and God having a seemingly-friendly bet), the modern Christian understanding of God is an all-powerful, all-knowing creator of all things. Satan, on the other hand, is an angel who decided to try to take on God. Apparently, Satan thought he could outsmart someone who knew what he was going to do before he did, or out-muscle someone who could do literally anything.

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** Satan. While the Bibles Bible's portrayal of God and Satan don't exactly match current understandings (the Book of Job shows Satan and God having a seemingly-friendly bet), the modern Christian understanding of God is an all-powerful, all-knowing creator of all things. Satan, on the other hand, is an angel who decided to try to take on God. Apparently, Satan thought he could outsmart someone who knew what he was going to do before he did, or out-muscle someone who could do literally anything.



** Jason near the end of the quest for the Golden Fleece. So here he has Medea, the beautiful black sorceress who had fallen so madly in love with him thanks to Cupid's arrow, that she helps him steal her father's most prized possession and ''kills her own brother to make a diversion'' so Jason can escape. So everything's going pretty good for a while, and they have a number of children together. Then what does Jason do? He goes up to Medea and tells her that he's dumping her for the daughter of the king of Corinth, despite the fact that they have kids, he still owes her, and she has nowhere else to go. Naturally, Medea [[WomanScorned takes revenge]]. (You can [[Theatre/{{Medea}} read the details]] in Creator/{{Euripides}}). Doubly so since his patron goddess was ''Hera'', goddess of marriage. Thanks to this action and oaths broken to the other Olympians, Jason loses everything and spends the rest of his life as a wandering beggar dying when a piece of his old ship the Argo falls on him when he is sitting under it.
*** In the most ancient version Medea doesn't kill two of their kids, she just kills the woman Jason was going to marry with a poisoned dress that ''sets her on fire'', and then accidentally ''burns down the royal palace'' when the king spreads the flames in a vain attempt to put them off (he can justified, as seeing your daughter suddenly combusting for no clear reason can have this effect). So, ''who'' killed the children? ''The citizens of Corinth'' in retaliation for the palace fire. After seeing that Medea could do that. And owing Medea their lives when she used her magic to stave off a famine. While the palace is still burning. At which point Medea ''sets the whole city on fire'' (easy, given the palace is still burning) and unleashes a plague, before leaving with one of the surviving children on a chariot pulled by ''dragons''. At this point the Corinthians smarten up, as they don't give chase nor retaliate against the other children (in fact they help Jason put one of them on the throne of another city), hence their ability to ultimately rebuild.

to:

** Jason near the end of the quest for the Golden Fleece. So here he has Medea, the beautiful black sorceress who had fallen so madly in love with him thanks to Cupid's arrow, that she helps him steal her father's most prized possession and ''kills her own brother to make a diversion'' so Jason can escape. So everything's going pretty good for a while, and they have a number of children together. Then what does Jason do? He goes up to Medea and tells her that he's dumping her for the daughter of the king of Corinth, despite the fact that they have kids, he still owes her, and she has nowhere else to go. Naturally, Medea [[WomanScorned takes revenge]]. (You can [[Theatre/{{Medea}} read the details]] in Creator/{{Euripides}}). Doubly so since his patron goddess was ''Hera'', goddess of marriage. Thanks to this action and oaths broken to the other Olympians, Jason loses everything and spends the rest of his life as a wandering beggar beggar, dying when a piece of his old ship the Argo falls on him when he is sitting under it.
*** In the most ancient version Medea doesn't kill two of their kids, she just kills the woman Jason was going to marry with a poisoned dress that ''sets her on fire'', and then accidentally ''burns down the royal palace'' when the king spreads the flames in a vain attempt to put them off out (he can be justified, as seeing your daughter suddenly combusting for no clear reason can have this effect). So, ''who'' killed the children? ''The citizens of Corinth'' in retaliation for the palace fire. After seeing that Medea could do that. And owing Medea their lives when she used her magic to stave off a famine. While the palace is still burning. At which point Medea ''sets the whole city on fire'' (easy, given the palace is still burning) and unleashes a plague, before leaving with one of the surviving children on a chariot pulled by ''dragons''. At this point the Corinthians smarten up, as they don't give chase nor retaliate against the other children (in fact they help Jason put one of them on the throne of another city), hence their ability to ultimately rebuild.



** King Midas. There is no way that everything you touch turning to gold could go wrong. No sir, none at all. Oh, look, your daughter wants a hug! Really, it seems to be inherited, since this was some time after Midas gained the golden touch and his daughter has no excuse for forgetting that. Then again, the girl was supposed to be eight or so in the stories that include her. He just should count his luck, that the Golden Touch didn't seem to affect air, otherwise he would have died instantly.

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** King Midas. There is no way that everything you touch turning to gold could go wrong. No sir, none at all. Oh, look, your daughter wants a hug! Really, it seems to be inherited, since this was some time after Midas gained the golden touch and his daughter has no excuse for forgetting that. Then again, the girl was supposed to be eight or so in the stories that include her. He just should count his luck, blessings, that the Golden Touch didn't seem to affect air, otherwise he would have died instantly.
9th Nov '16 8:12:30 AM StFan
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* A tale about a donkey who died of hunger between two equally big piles of hay. The story is commonly known as "Buridan's Ass", though the idea predates Buridan, and can even be found as far back as Aristotle:
-->"...a man, being just as hungry as thirsty, and placed in between food and drink, must necessarily remain where he is and starve to death..."



* In the Talmud, the Sages establish the standards of evidence for the death penalty to include two kosher witnesses (i.e., male Orthodox Jews) who have to verbally warn the perpetrator that what he's about to do carries the death penalty, and the perpetrator has to verbally answer that yes, he knows, and he's going to do it anyway. At that point, anyone who actually gets executed probably deserves to be removed from the gene pool. Or be committing [[SuicideByCop Suicide by State]].

to:

* In the Talmud, the Sages establish the standards of evidence for the death penalty to include two kosher witnesses (i.e., male Orthodox Jews) who have to verbally warn the perpetrator that what he's about to do carries the death penalty, and the perpetrator has to verbally answer that yes, he knows, and he's going to do it anyway. At that point, anyone who actually gets executed probably deserves to be removed from the gene pool. Or be committing [[SuicideByCop Suicide by State]].State]].
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2nd Nov '16 2:13:24 AM Mhazard
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Added DiffLines:

** Lot's wife. Lot's family was explicitly told not to look back at Sodom and Gomorrah, but she still did so. The end result? She's the sole individual being turned into a salt pillar.
1st Sep '16 7:25:13 PM Selina57
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Added DiffLines:

*** Although in Eglon's case, he may have been assuming that Ehud, the tribute-bringer, was right-handed. [[TheSouthpaw Ehud was left-handed.]] Still, Eglon should have considered the possibility that the tribute-bringer was left-handed.
15th Aug '16 6:01:51 PM fbiuzz
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** King Midas. There is no way that everything you touch turning to gold could go wrong. No sir, none at all. Oh, look, your daughter wants a hug! Really, it seems to be inherited, since this was some time after Midas gained the golden touch and his daughter has no excuse for forgetting that. Then again, the girl was supposed to be eight or so in the stories that include her.

to:

** King Midas. There is no way that everything you touch turning to gold could go wrong. No sir, none at all. Oh, look, your daughter wants a hug! Really, it seems to be inherited, since this was some time after Midas gained the golden touch and his daughter has no excuse for forgetting that. Then again, the girl was supposed to be eight or so in the stories that include her. He just should count his luck, that the Golden Touch didn't seem to affect air, otherwise he would have died instantly.
24th Jul '16 11:29:21 AM ZarbiNerada
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Added DiffLines:

*** [[Literature/NineteenEightyFour That was an Eastasian attack. But we are already making the Eastasians pay with even more horrible sores.]]
18th Jul '16 2:55:43 PM margdean56
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* Joukahainen in Literature/TheKalevala. He challenges Väinämöinen, the greatest sage of the epos, on one-on-one bespelling matchup. Väinämöinen bespells him into marsh. He is saved from death by drowning only by promising his sister to wife for Väinämöinen.

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* Joukahainen in Literature/TheKalevala. He challenges Väinämöinen, the greatest sage of the epos, on to a one-on-one bespelling matchup. Väinämöinen bespells him into a marsh. He is saved from death by drowning only by promising his sister to as a wife for Väinämöinen.



* The Pardoner's Tale is about three drunking buddies who see their friend is dead, and decide to go out and find death so they can kill him. Three guesses as to what happens...

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* The Pardoner's Tale is about three drunking drinking buddies who see their friend is dead, and decide to go out and find death so they can kill him. Three guesses as to what happens...
16th Jul '16 12:08:57 AM BenOfHouston
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** The Benjamites in Judges. Among your people are some {{Depraved Bisexual}}s who wanted to rape a guy, who was forced to give up his concubine to save himself. Said concubine gets fatally raped and abused. Said guy tells the rest of Israel about it, and when they go all WhatTheHellHero on the Benjamites, tell the Benjamites to give up the villains or get their asses kicked... The Benjamites refuse. Then subverted when the Benjamites defeat the rest of the Israelites at least twice before they get finally defeated.

to:

** The Benjamites in Judges. Among your people are some {{Depraved Bisexual}}s who wanted to rape a guy, who was forced to give up his concubine to save himself. Said concubine gets fatally raped and abused. Said guy tells the rest of Israel about it, and when they go all WhatTheHellHero on the Benjamites, tell the Benjamites to give up the villains or get their asses kicked... The Benjamites refuse.refuse (note, the tribe of Benjamin was the smallest of the main tribes, and was going up against the other 11). Then subverted when the Benjamites defeat the rest of the Israelites at least twice before they get finally defeated.
2nd Jun '16 1:14:49 PM Morgenthaler
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** Jason near the end of the quest for the Golden Fleece. So here he has Medea, the beautiful black sorceress who had fallen so madly in love with him thanks to Cupid's arrow, that she helps him steal her father's most prized possession and ''kills her own brother to make a diversion'' so Jason can escape. So everything's going pretty good for a while, and they have a number of children together. Then what does Jason do? He goes up to Medea and tells her that he's dumping her for the daughter of the king of Corinth, despite the fact that they have kids, he still owes her, and she has nowhere else to go. Naturally, Medea [[WomanScorned takes revenge]]. (You can [[Theatre/{{Medea}} read the details]] in {{Euripides}}). Doubly so since his patron goddess was ''Hera'', goddess of marriage. Thanks to this action and oaths broken to the other Olympians, Jason loses everything and spends the rest of his life as a wandering beggar dying when a piece of his old ship the Argo falls on him when he is sitting under it.

to:

** Jason near the end of the quest for the Golden Fleece. So here he has Medea, the beautiful black sorceress who had fallen so madly in love with him thanks to Cupid's arrow, that she helps him steal her father's most prized possession and ''kills her own brother to make a diversion'' so Jason can escape. So everything's going pretty good for a while, and they have a number of children together. Then what does Jason do? He goes up to Medea and tells her that he's dumping her for the daughter of the king of Corinth, despite the fact that they have kids, he still owes her, and she has nowhere else to go. Naturally, Medea [[WomanScorned takes revenge]]. (You can [[Theatre/{{Medea}} read the details]] in {{Euripides}}).Creator/{{Euripides}}). Doubly so since his patron goddess was ''Hera'', goddess of marriage. Thanks to this action and oaths broken to the other Olympians, Jason loses everything and spends the rest of his life as a wandering beggar dying when a piece of his old ship the Argo falls on him when he is sitting under it.
28th Mar '16 8:15:37 AM zerohelix
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** Arachne. It's fairly well-known to the people of Greek mythology that the Olympians were extremely jealous when it came to mortals claiming to be their equals or betters. Arachne decides to boast that she's a better weaver than Athena and continues to do so despite several warnings from the goddess herself in disguise. They engage in a weaving contest. So this girl is sitting there, weaving while Athena herself is there and pissed off - and what does she do? She makes the pictures of her tapestry depict scenes of Athena's father Zeus being a womanizing scoundrel. After all of that, of course Athena has had enough and turns her into a spider. Other versions have her actually ''be'' a better weaver or not actually boast of her talent but got famous anyway, but have her done something else that earned her ire anyway (Like pulling a TakeThat against Zeus, depicting him as a Womanizer, despite the fact that the Gods don;t take criticism from mortals well).
** Jason near the end of the quest for the Golden Fleece. So here he has Medea, the beautiful black sorceress who had fallen so madly in love with him thanks to Cupid's arrow, that she helps him steal her father's most prized possession and ''kills her own brother to make a diversion'' so Jason can escape. So everything's going pretty good for a while, and they have a number of children together. Then what does Jason do? He goes up to Medea and tells her that he's dumping her for the daughter of the king of Corinth, despite the fact that they have kids, he still owes her, and she has nowhere else to go. Naturally, Medea [[WomanScorned takes revenge]]. (You can [[Theatre/{{Medea}} read the details]] in {{Euripides}}). Doubly so since his patron goddess was ''Hera'', goddess of marriage. Thanks to this action and oaths broken to the other Olympians Jason loses everything and spends the rest of his life as a wandering beggar dying when a piece of his old ship the Argo falls on him when he is sitting under it.

to:

** Arachne. It's fairly well-known to the people of Greek mythology that the Olympians were extremely jealous when it came to mortals claiming to be their equals or betters. Arachne decides to boast that she's a better weaver than Athena and continues to do so despite several warnings from the goddess herself in disguise. They engage in a weaving contest. So this girl is sitting there, weaving while Athena herself is there and pissed off - and what does she do? She makes the pictures of her tapestry depict scenes of Athena's father Zeus being a womanizing scoundrel. After all of that, of course Athena has had enough and turns her into a spider. Other versions have her actually ''be'' a better weaver or not actually boast of her talent but got famous anyway, but have her done something else that earned her ire anyway (Like pulling a TakeThat against Zeus, depicting him as a Womanizer, despite the fact that the Gods don;t don't take criticism from mortals well).
** Jason near the end of the quest for the Golden Fleece. So here he has Medea, the beautiful black sorceress who had fallen so madly in love with him thanks to Cupid's arrow, that she helps him steal her father's most prized possession and ''kills her own brother to make a diversion'' so Jason can escape. So everything's going pretty good for a while, and they have a number of children together. Then what does Jason do? He goes up to Medea and tells her that he's dumping her for the daughter of the king of Corinth, despite the fact that they have kids, he still owes her, and she has nowhere else to go. Naturally, Medea [[WomanScorned takes revenge]]. (You can [[Theatre/{{Medea}} read the details]] in {{Euripides}}). Doubly so since his patron goddess was ''Hera'', goddess of marriage. Thanks to this action and oaths broken to the other Olympians Olympians, Jason loses everything and spends the rest of his life as a wandering beggar dying when a piece of his old ship the Argo falls on him when he is sitting under it.



* In the Talmud, the Sages establish the standards of evidence for the death penalty to include two kosher witnesses (i.e., male Orthodox Jews) who have to verbally warn the perpetrator that what he's about to do carries the death penalty, and the perpetrator has to verbally answer that yes, he knows, and he's going to do it anyway. At that point, anyone who actually gets executed probably deserves to be removed from the gene pool. Or be committing [[SuicideByCop Suicide by State]].

to:

* In the Talmud, the Sages establish the standards of evidence for the death penalty to include two kosher witnesses (i.e., male Orthodox Jews) who have to verbally warn the perpetrator that what he's about to do carries the death penalty, and the perpetrator has to verbally answer that yes, he knows, and he's going to do it anyway. At that point, anyone who actually gets executed probably deserves to be removed from the gene pool. Or be committing [[SuicideByCop Suicide by State]].
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