History TearJerker / Cracked

* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-nobody-tells-you-about-adopting-dog/ 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Adopting a Dog]], particularly the last one. [[note]]Fortunately, this particular DownerEnding was undone later as O'Brien [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-fun-places-that-are-terrifying-awkward-people/ ultimately managed to adopt a dog]].[[/note]]

* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21538_5-things-i-learned-as-sex-slave-in-modern-america.html 5 Things I Learned As A Sex Slave In Modern America]] can best be summed up by the final line: "People need to know that slavery in America never ended, we just got better at hiding it." Note that this is one of the few articles to include a content warning, not for containing NSFW pictures, but just because of the true events described.

** Though only mentioned in passing, the writer details that some people gave away money because they thought the world would end. Some of them in the six or seven figures of money. [[FridgeHorror Now imagine realizing that you gave away everything you own]], and there isn't a ResetButton.
** The writer also reveals that [[HereWeGoAgain his mother started following another doomsday cult not long after]]. He dismisses it as "people believe what they need to believe," but the fact that [[AesopAmnesia his mother learned nothing]] is rather upsetting.

-->The rest of us can only hope that in that situation, we'd do the same. And then we can pray that we never have the chance to find out we're wrong.
* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-you-learn-quickly-about-internet-hate/ 4 Things You Learn Quickly About Internet Hate]], particularly the part where Gladstone mentions being legitimately touched by a mentally handicapped person's plight he saw on the street to the point of shedding actual tears, but went on, connecting to the current point that people generally don't get involved in a tragedy until after it's already ended.

* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21011_6-things-nobody-tells-you-about-working-at-disney-world.html 6 Things Nobody Tells You About Working At Disney World]] has a particularly horrifying moment when the author talks about how the people in the full-body costumes would meet lots of kids... many of whom had cancer or other fatal diseases. And while being Mickey (who '''all''' the kids would ask to meet) was bad, it was even worse for the people playing the Fairy Godmother- they had to meet dying kid after dying kid who would ask 'Fairy Godmother' to cure them.

* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21908_6-things-i-learned-as-innocent-man-death-row.html 6 Things I Learned as an Innocent Man on Death Row]]: The #1 thing on the list is how the man became used to his horrible life in prison, even after leaving it. He gets headaches from fresh air because he's now allergic to it. He can't digest real food properly. So he had to eat bread for months to avoid getting sick. And he's so used to arguments ending in murder, that he gets extremely worried that his family will kill each other during arguments and is shocked when they don't.

* [[http://web.archive.org/web/20180825094532/http://www.cracked.com/blog/creepiest-where-are-they-now-ever-power-rangers-curse/ Creepiest 'Where Are They Now' Ever: The Power Rangers Curse]] is a disturbingly long list of all the actors from the ''Franchise/PowerRangers'' franchise who have died (or in the case of two actors, committed murder; one of which got the the death penalty). Not only were the bulk of them from the first series, but all but two died prematurely. It doesn't help Creator/JasonDavidFrank has died since. Luis Prada closes it out with this depressing bit of text:
--> So, there you go. I hope your childhood is now as completely buttfucked as mine, because it at least makes me feel a bit better that I'm not going through this trauma alone. If you read this thing with even a fraction of what I experienced in researching and writing it, we're now forever connected.
--> But if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone right now. I'm going to go sit in my closet with the door shut and cry until I black out from the emotional stress.
* #1 in [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_1994_how-you-picture-history-vs-reality-side-by-side/ 26 Side By Side Comparisons That Fix Your Image Of History]], about how Nazi Germany's queer prisoners were not freed after World War 2 and instead re-imprisoned, is just a bleak and all-too-forgetten tragedy.

* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21011_6-things-nobody-tells-you-about-working-at-disney-world.html 6 Things Nobody Tells You About Working At Disney World]] has a particularly horrifying moment when the author talks about how the people in the full-body costumes would meet lots of kids... many of whom had cancer or other fatal diseases. And while being Mickey (who '''all'' the kids would ask to meet) was bad, it was even worse for the people playing the Fairy Godmother- they had to meet dying kid after dying kid who would ask 'Fairy Godmother' to cure them.

* The poignant last line of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19766_6-nobodies-who-turned-into-superheroes-without-warning.html 6 Nobodies Who Turned Into Superheroes Without Warning]], especially [[HeroicSacrifice because of the man in question.]]

* [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-tiny-things-that-stopped-suicides/ 8 Tiny Things That Stopped Suicides]] is by far one of the best articles on Cracked and the entire reason Christina H is still at the website in spite of all the hate she gets. Many, many, ''many'' tears of happiness.
--> "Even if nine out of 10 threatened Internet suicides are trolls or attention-getters, I don't care about looking stupid nine times to save one person's life."

* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19148_6-bizarrely-creepy-moments-from-mario-universe.html 6 Bizarrely Creepy Moments from the Mario Universe]] is NightmareFuel for Mario players in itself, but a commentor provides a sad reason why Peach does not remember mothering Bowser's children, something that if anything, sounds like something out of ''Manga/{{Berserk}}'':
-->'''skim172:''' You'd think Peach would remember having sex with Bowser. Or at least, giving birth to a giant spiked turtle. Eight times.
--> Unless...
-->Unless she's suffering from intense psychosis brought on by the trauma of multiple kidnapping, torture, and repeated rapes. She blocked out that part of her memory as she's blocked out so many things. It's a defense mechanism. It explains why she's always kind of spaced out; she's not an airhead - she's disconnected from reality, because that's the only way she can cope.

-->Think of Super Mario as the world ... viewed through the eyes of Peach - not a princess, as in her delusions, but a sexually abused and tortured woman with a shattered psyche. The real world hurts - instead, she imagines a cartoon world with talking mushroom people, smiling plants, and fire-flowers, where she's a beloved royal figure - and she can fly. Free as a bird.

-->And out there is a hero - a paunchy middle-aged plumber, perhaps representing a father figure - fighting through legions of enemies to come rescue her.

-->But she never does get rescued, does she. On those brief resurfacings to reality - she's still a prisoner of that evil man. Bowser. And so she returns back to the dream - another adventure for the heroic Mario, to come save daddy's little princess.
* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21011_6-things-nobody-tells-you-about-working-at-disney-world.html 6 Things Nobody Tells You About Working At Disney World]] has a particularly horrifying moment when the author talks about how the people in the full-body costumes would meet lots of kids... many of whom had cancer or other fatal diseases. And while being Mickey (who all the kids would ask to meet) was bad, it was even worse for the people playing the Fairy Godmother- they had to meet dying kid after dying kid who would ask 'Fairy Godmother' to cure them.
* [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/robin-williams-why-funny-people-kill-themselves/ Robin Williams and Why Funny People Kill Themselves]] takes a very serious look at the high incidence of depression and suicide among comedians and comedy writers.

* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21908_6-things-i-learned-as-innocent-man-death-row.html 6 Things I Learned as an Innocent Man on Death Row]]: The #1 thing on the list is how used to his horrible life within prison he had gotten. He gets headaches from fresh air because he's now allergic to it. He can't digest real food properly. So he had to eat bread for months to avoid getting sick. And he's so used to arguments ending in murder that he gets extremely worried that his family will kill each other during arguments and is shocked when they don't.

* [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21884_5-awful-realities-being-man-who-was-raped-by-woman.html 5 Bizarre Realities of Being a Man Who Was Raped by a Woman]]: Another article about the effects of sexual abuse.

* [[http://web.archive.org/web/20180825094532/http://www.cracked.com/blog/creepiest-where-are-they-now-ever-power-rangers-curse/ Creepiest 'Where Are They Now' Ever: The Power Rangers Curse]] is disturbingly long a list of all the actors from the ''Franchise/PowerRangers'' franchise who have died (or in the case of two actors, committed murder; one of which got the the death penalty). Not only were the bulk of them from the first series, but all but two died prematurely. It doesn't help Creator/JasonDavidFrank has died since. Luis Prada closes it out with this depressing bit of text:

* [[http://web.archive.org/web/20180825094532/http://www.cracked.com/blog/creepiest-where-are-they-now-ever-power-rangers-curse/ Creepiest 'Where Are They Now' Ever: The Power Rangers Curse]] is basically just a list of all the actors from the ''Franchise/PowerRangers'' franchise who have died (or in the case of two actors, committed murder; one of which got the the death penalty). Luis Prada ends it with this depressing bit of text:

* #1 in [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_1994_how-you-picture-history-vs-reality-side-by-side/ 26 Side By Side Comparisons That Fix Your Image Of History]], about the LGBT prisoners not being freed, is just bleak.

* In late 2017, the site lost a number of its most popular contributors. Daniel O'Brien, J.F. Sargent, Katy Stoll, Cody Johnston, Luis Prada, Katie Goldin, David Bell, Tom Reimann, Ian Fortey, John Cheese, Robert Brockaway, and Carmen Angela were all unceremoniously laid off, while Michael Swaim and Soren Bowie had left of their own accord not long before. For longtime fans of the site, the loss of so many of the people who helped make the site as successful as it became is nothing short of devastating.