History SoYouWantTo / WriteASexScene

!!Wordsmithing

!!Physiology

!!Tone

!!Less Is More / Bigger Is Still Not Better
You may be better served by ''avoiding'' too much technical detail on what is going on, paradoxical as that may seem. David Gerrold once wrote that sex in fiction is often more about the characters having the sex than the actual sex they're having; you should try and use the sex scene to deliver some kind of CharacterDevelopment on their thoughts and emotions, rather than the instruction-manual litany of what's being done where. Using our examples above, if you're depicting two young lovers losing their virginity together, then rather than focusing on what they're doing, think about how they're ''feeling'' about they're doing (nervous? Awkward? Excited?). In StephenKing's ''Literature/TheDrawingOfTheThree'', there's a consummation scene that is all of ''one sentence long'', and basically just says, "It was the best either of them had ever had." This doesn't seem like much on its own, but it's the culmination of two people falling head-over-heels for each other, and--via GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex--essentially confirms that Eddie and Susannah are in TrueLove. We know what it ''means'' to them, and that's what matters. Even better, it turns the whole encounter into a NoodleIncident. Whatever "good sex" is ''for you'', there's room for you to apply it. Instead of trying to convince you that Eddie and Susannah had the hottest sex ever, King lets you ''convince yourself'', by simply letting you fill in the details. It works.

The sole exception is when you're actually writing porn. Under those circumstances, you ''do'' want lots of nitty-gritty details--all five senses, and some varied sentence structure to keep from getting repetitive. Administrivia/FiveP being what it is, that's all we'll say on the matter; the rest will require you to do your own research. But doing it should be easy, because TheInternetIsForPorn. (Seriously, if you can't find some examples for yourself, you have much larger problems than your current lack of sex-writing skills.)

Another is after two people have already been getting it on for some time. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" is the attitude that rules most sexual relationships; many couples end up doing more-or-less the same thing(s) over and over again, because they both like it. So once this pattern is established... Well, OOCIsSeriousBusiness, right? One or both partners can try to shake things up and you can go from there.

In RealLife, there's lots of props available for the adventurous lovers who like to spice things up; keeping in mind the above about the sex being more about your character than the sex itself, however, this will depend on who your characters are, the type of story you're writing and the sex they're having. (There is also some stigma to the use of toys, due to sometimes-shortsighted attitudes towards sex; it's believed that men shouldn't need them because [[AManIsNotAVirgin he always has partners at hand]], and women shouldn't need them because [[AllWomenArePrudes they don't like sex]]. So if you involve them, expect some knee-jerk denouncements of your characters as vile degenerates.)

As to the character's physical description, NoodleIncident is once more your best friend. Provide just a few details: hair like burnished bronze, guileless eyes, the trim figure of a dancer. Your reader's imagination will fill in the blanks ''for you'', providing details like facial structure, amount of arm hair, eyebrow style, exhibited musculature, nose shape--[[NoNameGiven gender]]--that you, as a writer, could never hope to match. The character that results will be more The Reader's creation than yours, but that's okay: between you and The Reader, which of the two of you is better at creating a physical appearance that The Reader finds attractive? Besides, you're controlling the ''personality'', which is the real heart of the character.

But, assuming you ''are'' going to spice it up (and spice is never a bad thing), keep in mind common sense and [[AnatomicallyImpossibleSex basic anatomy]]; people are only ''so'' flexible. Configurations that seem easy and obvious might not actually be as practical as it sounds; someone has to know where to put things, and it often has to be done blind, since most human beings do not have eyes their our genitals. Actions that seem easy in practice might actually be difficult in theory; the WallBangHer position always looks simple on the screen, but what happens if there's a significant height difference between partners (and/or their junk)?--which there [[OneHeadTaller often is]]? (This is ''why'' people sometimes don't experiment: if it doesn't work, the mood is down the drain, and even if it does work it still might not be enjoyable to one or more partners.)

->''Giving a reader a sex scene that is only half right is like giving her half of a kitten. It is not half as cute as a whole kitten; it is a bloody, godawful mess.''

Aside from the Bad Sex In Fiction awards, which are typically a master class in SugarWiki/FunnyMoments, there are also fan-driven blogs and communities that focus on the same thing. A good place to start is "weepingcock," a LiveJournal community dedicated to celebrating the best howlers from fan fiction.

You may also need to devote some time into deciding ''how'' the participating characters came to ''be'' participating, because there are many ways to do this. TheirFirstTime, GladToBeAliveSex, MustNotDieAVirgin, one night stands... Or maybe it's two people who have been married for years and already have a comfortable pattern. But in some way, the two characters need to be brought to the point where they want to do each other. We already have an article concerning one of the main ways to do this, [[SoYouWantTo/WriteALoveStory So You Want To: Write A Love Story?]], so let's simply say that there needs to be a build-up of some sort and then go from there.

Assuming you are comfortable writing a sex scene, then your next choice is the characters who are actually going to be having sex. This is quite important, as different people have sex in different ways -- a pair of young lovers losing their virginity together will have sex differently to a couple married for twenty years having make-up sex after an argument, who will in turn have sex differently from a sex addict hiring a prostitute for an hour of no-strings-attached relief, and so forth. This in turn means that the way you write the sex scene will differ, as the characters have specific things they want to achieve (besides the obvious).

In the end, you may be better served by ''avoiding'' too much technical detail on what is going on, paradoxical as that may seem. David Gerrold once wrote that sex in fiction is often more about the characters having the sex than the actual sex they're having; you should try and use the sex scene to deliver some kind of CharacterDevelopment on their thoughts and emotions, rather than the instruction-manual litany of what's being done where. Using our examples above, if you're depicting two young lovers losing their virginity together, then rather than focusing on what they're doing, think about how they're ''feeling'' about they're doing (nervous? Awkward? Excited?). In StephenKing's ''Literature/TheDrawingOfTheThree'', there's a consummation scene that is all of ''one sentence long'', and basically just says, "It was the best either of them had ever had." This doesn't seem like much on its own, but it's the culmination of two people falling head-over-heels for each other, and--via GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex--essentially confirms that Eddie and Susannah are in TrueLove. We know what it ''means'' to them, and that's what matters. Even better, it turns the whole encounter into a NoodleIncident. Whatever "good sex" is ''for you'', there's room for you to apply it. Instead of trying to convince you that Eddie and Susannah had the hottest sex ever, King lets you ''convince yourself'', by simply letting you fill in the details. It works.

People can and do have sex everywhere. And we do mean ''everywhere''. In general, though, given cultural mores around sex (not to mention public decency laws) unless they're particularly overcome with lust or have an adventurous or exhibitionist kick people tend to prefer having sex in the privacy of their own homes; the bedroom is the obvious place, although more adventurous couples might take it to the bath or the shower or elsewhere in the house.

Wherever you go for, however, the location should fit the mood and the characters. Again, the mood you're trying to set will probably affect the choice of location; for example, if you're trying to set a romantic, intimate and gentle mood, then your characters having a quickie in a nightclub bathroom is unlikely to be a good fit, but the same place could be a useful choice if your characters are in a right-here-right-now kind of mood.

In RealLife, there's lots of props available for the adventurous lovers who like to spice things up; keeping in mind the above about the sex being more about your character than the sex itself, however, this will depend on who your characters are, the type of story you're writing and the sex they're having.

Often, full nudity, although this does depend on the characters and the situation.

One thing beginning {{lemon}} authors often get wrong is going for too much detail. They want a character's sexual attractiveness to be beyond question, and so they go into long-winded, sometimes tedious description: the exact shade of her golden hair, the precise shape of her clear blue eyes, the levels of her tan as measured in paint swatches from Sherwin-Williams, her precise measurements to the centimeter--70.4-double-D, obviously, because BuxomIsBetter. Sounds good... except to the readers who prefer RavenHairIvorySkin and PetitePride. (And, considering how much people seem to love the AsianHookerStereotype, that may be quite a few.) "But then what do I do?" the Beginning Lemon Author laments. "I can't have someone with ''both'' blonde and dark hair!, or with one big breast and one small one! How do I play this game if I can't win?"

The answer is, "[[KnowWhenToFoldEm Don't play]]." Don't try to create a character who is physically attractive to all human beings ever, because that's impossible. Instead, create a character who is ''emotionally'' attractive, a likeable protagonist that the reader can root for. This kind of CharacterDevelopment is hard too, but a lot less hard than creating the WorldsMostBeautifulWoman. (Besides, CharacterDevelopment is a skill it ''never'' hurts to put levels into.) Once you have this character that your readers like and are rooting for, then they will be happy when she gets it on, regardless of what she looks like. So don't make your characters ''attractive''. Make them ''lovable''.

As to the character's physical description, NoodleIncident is once more your best friend. Provide just a few details: hair like burnished bronze, guileless eyes, the trim figure of a dancer. Your reader's imagination will fill in the blanks ''for you'', providing details like facial structure, amount of arm hair, eyebrow style, exhibited musculature, nose shape--[[NoNameGiven gender]]--that you, as a writer, could never hope to match. The character that results will be more the reader's creation than yours, but that's okay: between you and The Reader, which of the two of you is more likely to be able to conjure a physical appearance that The Reader finds attractive? Besides, you're controlling the ''personality'', which is the real heart of the character.

You may also need to devote some time into deciding ''how'' the participating characters came to ''be'' participating, because there are many ways to do this. TheirFirstTime, GladToBeAliveSex, MustNotDieAVirgin, one night stands... Or maybe it's two people are married. But in some way, the two characters need to be brought to the point where they want to do each other. We already have an article concerning one of the main ways to do this, [[SoYouWantTo/WriteALoveStory So You Want To: Write A Love Story?]], so let's simply say that there needs to be a build-up of some sort and then go from there.

Finally, you may want to put some thought into your tone--not in the sense of "loving" vs "angry" vs "voracious," as above, but in terms of how glamorous you decide to make things. There have been many discussions about the unrealistic nature of IdealizedSex, CommonHollywoodSexTraits and AnatomicallyImpossibleSex, but they still sell well despite being unrealistic--or rather, ''because'' they are unrealistic. It may be hard to believe, dear tropers, but a fairly large percentage of human beings are in long-term sexual relationships, meaning they can get laid without too much effort. Yet such people still go to porn--in droves!--despite it being wildly unrealistic and having nothing to do with what they get in bed at home. Why do they still consume porn? ''Because'' it's not what they get in bed at home; ''because'' it offers them something they want but can't get. (And not just kinky stuff either, though that does make up a fair bit of it.) Porn sells ''because'' it's idealized and unrealistic. And it's one of the biggest markets in the world, so they must be doing ''something'' right.

Doing the research can be tricky without access to 1) non-virgins 2) who are willing to answer your questions frankly and honestly, and 3) whom ''you'' feel comfortable asking those awkward questions ''to''. If necessary, gloss over details you don't know for certain. For the rest: don't despair, IdealizedSex is here to help! Read enough of it, particularly on NSFW sites, and you can get a very good idea of what people ''want'' to happen in "the perfect sex scene." You can then parrot it out at will. It won't necessarily be the hottest, most sizzling stuff ever produced, but it'll be serviceable.

Oh, and if you do try either of these style? Don't later try and tell people IMeantToDoThat, even if you did; ''no one'' will believe you. ''Especially'' if it happened to get you nominated for the Bed Sex Award mentioned above. Overall, both of those styles are a minefield you're better of staying clear of.

You should try to avoid making your sex scene too gratuitous. They say that 'SexSells', but it's quite easy to tell if a creator has just thrown a sex scene into the story out of nowhere just for the purposes of titillation or to cynically get people interested in their work. The sex scene should arise organically (so to speak) from the events of the novel as a whole -- it should make sense that these people are choosing to have sex at this particular moment without it feeling like the author is forcing them to purely for sales.

In the end, you may be better served by ''avoiding'' too much technical detail on what is going on, paradoxical as that may seem. David Gerrold once wrote that sex in fiction is often more about the characters having the sex than the actual sex they're having; you should try and use the sex scene to deliver some kind of insight into your character and how they are thinking and feeling, rather than focussing exclusively on what precisely they're doing. Using our examples above, if you're depicting two young lovers losing their virginity together, then rather than focusing on what they're doing, think about how they're ''feeling'' about they're doing (nervous? Awkward? Excited?). In StephenKing's ''Literature/TheDrawingOfTheThree'', there's a consummation that consists of, basically, "It was the best either of them had ever had." This doesn't seem like much on its own, but it's the culmination of two people falling head-over-heels for each other, and--via GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex--essentially confirms that TrueLove has blossomed between Eddie and Susannah. We know what it ''means'' to them, and that's what matters. Even better, it turns the whole encounter into a NoodleIncident. Whatever "good sex" is ''for you'', there's room for you to apply it. Instead of trying to convince you that Eddie and Susannah had the hottest sex ever, King lets you ''convince yourself'', by simply letting you fill in the details. It works.

The sole exception is when you're actually writing porn. Under those circumstances, you ''do'' want lots of nitty-gritty details--all five senses, and some varied description to keep from getting repetitive. Administrivia/FiveP being what it is, that's all we'll say on the matter; but you should be fine doing your own researches, because TheInternetIsForPorn. (Seriously, if you can't find some examples for yourself, you have much larger problems than your current lack of sex-writing skills.)

One thing beginning {{lemon}} authors often get wrong is going for too much detail. They want a character's sexual attractiveness to be beyond question, and so they go into long-winded, sometimes tedious description: the exact shade of her golden hair, the precise shape of her clear blue eyes, the levels of her tan as measured in paint swatches from Sherwin-Williams, her precise measurements to the millimeter--70.4-double-D, obviously, because BuxomIsBetter. Sounds good... to everyone except the readers who prefer RavenHairIvorySkin and PetitePride--which, considering how much people seem to love the AsianHookerStereotype, may be quite a few. "But then what do I do?" the Beginning Lemon Author laments. "I can't have someone with ''both'' blonde and dark hair!, or with one big breast and one small one! How do I play this game if I can't win?"

Again, sex can get ... adventurous. But. as previously mentioned, a lot of people ''don't'' get adventurous; they find a routine and stick with it. There's a small core of sexual interactions that are branded "vanilla sex," a derogatory reference to the boringness of vanilla ice cream. But it should be pointed out that vanilla is, and almost always has been, ''the'' most popular ice cream flavor in the world, representing 30% of annual sales [[http://www.ehow.com/list_7197995_favored-ice-cream-flavors.html in 1999]]. The next most popular, chocolate, scored a mere 12%. Variety is the spice of life, but consistency can mean more.

But, assuming you ''are'' going to spice it up (and spice is never a bad thing), keep in mind common sense and [[AnatomicallyImpossibleSex basic anatomy]]; people are only ''so'' flexible. Configurations that seem easy and obvious might not actually be as practical as it sounds; someone has to know where to put things, and it often has to be done blind, since none of us have eyes near our genitals. Things that seem easy in practice might actually be difficult in theory; the WallBangHer position always looks easy on the screen, but what happens if there's a significant height difference between partners (and/or their genitals)?--which there [[OneHeadTaller often is]]? This is ''why'' people sometimes don't experiment: if it doesn't work, the mood is down the drain, and even if it does work it still might not be enjoyable to one or more partners.

To start, unless you're writing a masturbation scene you need at least two characters.

Genders (and numbers of participants) are optional, although see below concerning 'Pitfalls'.

Try also to avoid including too much AuthorAppeal. Sex, of course, is heavily tied up with fetishes and kinks, and authors are no different than anyone else in that they have certain tastes and fancies as well; it can be easy and helpful to throw in a little bit of what appeals to you personally. After all, if something turns you on, then you're going to be able to write it convincingly. However, be careful. If there's a sense that you're providing TooMuchInformation about what personally turns you on (hi [[Literature/{{Twilight SMeyer!]]), or were writing the sex scene with one hand while the other was ... [[ADateWithRosiePalms occupied]], shall we say, then this can make things a bit creepy and uncomfortable for your reader. If the sex scene is too prurient, it can be off-putting to the reader. If you ''must'' include AuthorAppeal, however, then try to avoid justifying it with IJustWriteTheThing -- yet again, no one's going to be convinced. If you're going to include your kinks, stand by them.

Consider also what genre you're writing in, and how the sex fits in -- if, indeed, it does. If you're writing hardcore porn or PornWithoutPlot, then naturally your reader will understand and expect that anything goes, and anything that contains erotica or romance will have an audience that will generally expect the star-crossed lovers to get things on at some point, or at least won't be surprised if they do. Other genres may find sex a bit more difficult to naturally include, however; if your characters are constantly on the run from the ZombieApocalypse, however, then whether they fall in love or not they might not easily find the time or opportunity to get busy with each other.

Assuming you are comfortable writing a sex scene, then your next choice is the characters who are actually going to be having sex. This is quite important, as different people have sex in different ways -- a pair of young lovers losing their virginity together will have sex differently to a couple married for twenty years having make-up sex after an argument, who will in turn have sex differently from a sex addict hiring a prostitute for an hour of no-strings-attached relief, and so forth. This in turn means that the way you write the sex scene will differ as the characters are responding to it differently.

Avoid, avoid, ''avoid'' both PurpleProse and BeigeProse. "Throbbing manhoods plunging into velvet folds" and the like are an instant way of taking the reader out of your work and making you look ridiculous. At the same time, "he inserted his penis into her vagina" is a bit... blunt. Both MillsAndBoonProse and IKEAErotica are strongly discouraged; you're presumably not writing a 'just-the-facts' sex manual, but at the same time even Mills and Boon and Harlequin are starting to move away from the overwrought, florid and metaphor-abusing purple prose style that previously characterised their works.

You should have a working knowledge of anatomy. AnatomicallyImpossibleSex is another good way of making yourself look ridiculous or like you don't know what you're talking about. A few quick tips to get you started; [[BiggerIsBetterInBed bigger is not always better]], even the GagPenis can naturally only be so large before the man's ability to have sex (or even live) is significantly affected, and the vagina is not a magically flexible opening that can accept anything of any size without tremendous pain or discomfort for the woman concerned. Do some basic research before you start; again, no one's going to buy the "IMeantToDoThat" defence on this one.

You should try to avoid making your sex scene too gratuitous. They say that 'sex sells', but it's quite easy to tell if a creator has just thrown a sex scene into the story out of nowhere just for the purposes of titillation or to cynically get people interested in their work. The sex scene should arise organically (so to speak) from the events of the novel as a whole -- it should make sense that these people are choosing to have sex at this particular moment without it feeling like the author is forcing them to purely for sales.

Try also to avoid including too much AuthorAppeal. Sex, of course, is heavily tied up with fetishes and kinks, and authors are no different than anyone else in that they have certain tastes and fancies as well; it can be easy and helpful to throw in a little bit of what appeals to you personally. After all, if something turns you on, then you're going to be able to write it convincingly in such a way that will help turn your reader on if that's the effect you're going for. However, be careful. If there's a sense that you're providing TooMuchInformation about what personally turns you on or were writing the sex scene with one hand while the other was ... [[ADateWithRosiePalms occupied]], shall we say, then this can make things a bit creepy and uncomfortable for your reader. If the sex scene is too prurient, it can be off-putting to the reader. If you ''must'' include AuthorAppeal, however, then try to avoid justifying it with IJustWriteTheThing -- yet again, no one's going to be convinced. If you're going to include your kinks, stand by them.

Similarly, be wary of the AudienceAlienatingPremise. If you have kinks that tend to occupy something of a niche, then spending a lot of time focussing on them is a good way of making your reader uncomfortable. It’s a simple fact of life; some fetishes, for better or worse, are socially frowned on. Unfair? Possibly, but there it is. You might think [[NoodleIncident doing that sort of thing with chickens]] is just a harmless bit of fun, but there's a good chance that except for a relative few most of your readers are going to strongly disagree, and you’re not going to force them to change their minds by including your kinks in graphic detail in your story.

On the flipside, however, morality changes. Certain 'lifestyle choices' that were frowned on even a couple of decades ago are now increasingly accepted. With this in mind, however, be wary of how you're depicting sex and sexuality, especially alternative and 'non-mainstream' sexualities and even more especially if you are not a member of these groups yourself. Suggesting or depicting that SexIsEvil is in and of itself riddled with UnfortunateImplications and potential {{Double Standard}}s, particularly if you are depicting certain groups or sexualities as evil in the process. Just as the kinky authors above aren’t going to magically convert people into accepting their kinks just through including them in their work, if you think ‘that sort of thing shouldn’t be allowed’ you’re not going to turn the clock back by force just by writing it in your story.

All up, as paradoxical as it may seem you may be better served ''avoiding'' focussing too much on what, precisely, if being inserted into who or where altogether. David Gerrold once wrote that sex in fiction is often more about the characters having the sex than the actual sex they're having; you should try and use the sex scene to deliver some kind of insight into your character and how they are thinking and feeling, rather than focussing exclusively on what precisely they're doing. Using our examples above, if you're depicting two young lovers losing their virginity together, then rather than focussing on what they're doing think about how they're ''feeling'' about they're doing (nervous? Awkward? Excited?). Except where you're actively writing porn (in which case the audience is obviously going to expect, even demand, hardcore graphic depictions), less is usually more when it comes to actually describing the sex act itself.

Obviously you should provide a little context and description of what's happening as well, but remember: ShowDontTell. Show the reader how having sex impacts on your characters rather than describing everything in minute detail.

The obvious subversion that comes to mind is two characters who are about to get it on, only to be interrupted by something (or someone) that kills the mood.

Again, sex can get ... adventurous. But again, keep in mind common sense and [[AnatomicallyImpossibleSex basic anatomy]]; people are only ''so'' flexible or so willing to risk their lives while getting their end away. While people can and do vary spice up what they get up to in the bedroom, try not to get too over-the-top with it (unless that's what you're going for).

For example, a bit of mild bondage in the form of being tied to the bedpost by your lover with a silk scarf is something that, even if it's not necessarily something the reader has fantasized about or experienced previously, they can imagine being something that people do in bed. Your characters having sex while being suspended by a wire over an active volcano from a helicopter, on the other hand, is likely to be met with skepticism unless you can ''really'' sell it.

!!'''The Epic Fails'''

Avoid, avoid, ''avoid'' both PurpleProse and BeigeProse. "Throbbing manhoods plunging into velvet folds" and the like are an instant way of taking the reader out of your work and making you look ridiculous. At the same time, "he inserted his penis into her vagina and thrusted in and out until they both orgasmed" is a bit... blunt. Both MillsAndBoonProse and IKEAErotica are strongly discouraged; you're presumably not writing a 'just-the-facts' sex manual, but at the same time even Mills and Boon and Harlequin are starting to move away from the overwrought, florid and metaphor-abusing purple prose style that previously characterised their works.

There is a reason why, very year, Literary Review hosts a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literary_Review#Bad_Sex_in_Fiction_Award "Bad Sex in Fiction" Award]]; there is a ''lot'' of crappy writing when it comes to sex. What you may be surprised to see is that the list of nominees and winners frequently includes authors who are considered literary heavyweights, and this is because writing sex well is ''incredibly'' complex and difficult, even for award-winning writers. Sex is both something deeply intimate and personal and at the same time something that society and culture has built up a lot of significance, meaning and morality around, meaning that there is a lot to balance.

To start, unless you're writing a masturbation scene you need at least two characters.

Avoid, avoid, ''avoid'' both PurpleProse and BeigeProse. "Throbbing manhoods plunging into velvet folds" and the like are an instant way of taking the reader out of your work and making you look ridiculous. At the same time, "he inserted his penis into her vagina and thrusted in and out until they both came" is a bit... blunt. Both MillsAndBoonProse and IKEAErotica are strongly discouraged; you're presumably not writing a 'just-the-facts' sex manual, but at the same time even Mills and Boon and Harlequin are starting to move away from the overwrought, florid and metaphor-abusing purple prose style that previously characterised their works.

Again, sex can get ... adventurous. But again, keep in mind common sense and [[AnatomicallyImpossibleSex basic anatomy]]; people are only ''so'' flexible or so willing to risk their lives while getting their end away. While people can and do vary spice up what they get up to in the bedroom, try not to get too over-the-top with it (unless that's what you're going for).

You should have a working knowledge of anatomy. AnatomicallyImpossibleSex is another good way of making yourself look ridiculous or that you don't know what you're talking about. A few quick tips to get you started; [[BiggerIsBetterInBed bigger is not always better]], even the GagPenis can naturally only be so large before the man's ability to have sex (or even live) is significantly affected, and the vagina is not a magically flexible opening that can accept anything of any size without tremendous pain or discomfort for the woman concerned. Do some basic research before you start; again, no one's going to buy the "IMeantToDoThat" defence on this one.

Consider also what genre you're writing in, and how the sex fits in -- if, indeed, it does. If you're writing hardcore porn or PornWithoutPlot, then naturally your reader will understand and expect that anything goes, and anything that contains erotica or romance will generally expect the star-crossed lovers to get things on at some point, or at least won't be surprised if they do. Other genres may find sex a bit more difficult to naturally include, however; if your characters are constantly on the run from the ZombieApocalypse, however, then whether they fall in love or not they might not easily find the time or opportunity to get busy with each other.

Similarly, be wary of the AudienceAlienatingPremise. If you have kinks that tend to occupy something of a niche, then spending a lot of time focussing on them is a good way of making your reader uncomfortable. It’s a simple fact of life; some fetishes, for better or worse, are socially frowned on. You might think [[NoodleIncident doing that sort of thing with chickens]] is just a harmless bit of fun, but there's a good chance that except for a relative few most of your readers are going to strongly disagree, and you’re not going to force them to change their minds by including your kinks in graphic detail in your story.

Similarly, if you have kinks that tend to occupy something of a niche, then spending a lot of time focussing on them is a good way of making your reader uncomfortable. It’s a simple fact of life; some fetishes, for better or worse, are socially frowned on. You might think [[NoodleIncident doing that sort of thing with chickens]] is just a harmless bit of fun, but there's a good chance that except for a relative few most of your readers are going to strongly disagree, and you’re not going to force them to change their minds by including your kinks in graphic detail in your story.

All up, as paradoxical as it may seem you're better served avoiding focussing too much on what, precisely, if being inserted into who or where altogether. David Gerrold once wrote that sex is often more about the characters having the sex than the actual sex they're having; you should try and use the sex scene to deliver some kind of insight into your character and how they are thinking and feeling, rather than focussing on what precisely they're doing. Using our examples above, if you're depicting two young lovers losing their virginity together, then rather than focussing on what they're doing think about how they're ''feeling'' about they're doing (nervous? Awkward? Excited?). Except where you're actively writing porn (in which case the audience is obviously going to expect, even demand, hardcore graphic depictions), less is usually more when it comes to actually describing the sex act itself.

Consider also what genre you're writing in, and how the sex fits in -- if, indeed, it does. If you're writing hardcore porn or PornWithoutPlot, then naturally your reader will understand and expect that anything goes, and anything that contains romance will generally expect the star-crossed lovers to get things on at some point. Other genres may find sex a bit more difficult to naturally include.

Try also to avoid including too much AuthorAppeal. Sex, of course, is heavily tied up with fetishes and kinks, and authors are no different than anyone else in that they have certain tastes and fancies as well; it can be easy and helpful to throw in a little bit of what appeals to you personally. However, if there's a sense that you're providing too much information about what personally turns you on or were writing the sex scene with one hand while the other was ... [[ADateWithRosiePalms occupied]], shall we say, then this can make things a bit creepy and uncomfortable for your reader. If the sex scene is too prurient, it can be off-putting to the reader. If you ''must'' include AuthorAppeal, however, then try to avoid justifying it with IJustWriteTheThing -- yet again, no one's going to be convinced.

On the flipside, however, morality changes. Certain lifestyle choices that were frowned on even a couple of decades ago are now increasingly accepted. With this in mind, however, be wary of how you're depicting sex and sexuality, especially alternative and 'non-mainstream' sexualities and even more especially if you are not a member of these groups yourself. Suggesting or depicting that SexIsEvil is in and of itself riddled with UnfortunateImplications and potential {{Double Standard}}s, particularly if you are depicting certain groups or sexualities as evil in the process. Just as the kinky authors above aren’t going to magically convert people into accepting their kinks just through including them in their work, if you think ‘that sort of thing shouldn’t be allowed’ you’re not going to turn the clock back by force just by writing it in your story.

Try also to avoid including too much AuthorAppeal. Sex, of course, is heavily tied up with fetishes and kinks, and authors are no different than anyone else in that they have certain tastes and fancies as well; it can be easy to throw in a little bit of what appeals to you. However, if there's a sense that you're providing too much information about what personally turns you on or were writing the sex scene with one hand while the other was ... occupied, shall we say, then this can make things a bit creepy and uncomfortable for your reader. If the sex scene is too prurient, it can be off-putting to the reader. If you ''must'' include AuthorAppeal, however, then try to avoid justifying it with IJustWriteTheThing -- yet again, no one's going to be convinced.

Avoid, avoid, ''avoid'' both PurpleProse and BeigeProse. "Throbbing manhoods plunging into velvet folds" and the like are an instant way of taking the reader out of your work and making you look ridiculous. At the same time, "he inserted his penis into her vagina and thrusted in and out until they both came" is a bit... blunt. Both MillsAndBoonProse and IKEAErotica are strongly discouraged; you're not writing a sex manual, but at the same time even Mills and Boon and Harlequin are starting to move away from the overwrought, florid and metaphor-abusing purple prose style that previously characterised their works.

All up, you're better served avoiding focussing too much on and providing graphic descriptions of what, precisely, if being inserted into who or where altogether. David Gerrold once wrote that sex is often more about the characters having the sex than the actual sex they're having; you should try and use the sex scene to deliver some kind of insight into your character and how they are thinking and feeling, rather than focussing on what precisely they're doing. Using our examples above, if you're depicting two young lovers losing their virginity together, then rather than focussing on what they're doing think about how they're ''feeling'' about they're doing (nervous? Awkward? Excited?).

On the flipside, however, morality changes. Certain lifestyle choices that were frowned on even a couple of decades ago are now increasingly accepted. With this in mind, however, be wary of how you're depicting sex and sexuality, especially alternative and 'non-mainstream' sexualities and even more especially if you are not a member of these groups yourself. Suggesting or depicting that SexIsEvil is in and of itself riddled with UnfortunateImplications and potential DoubleStandards, particularly if you are depicting certain groups or sexualities as evil in the process. Just as the kinky authors above aren’t going to magically convert people into accepting their kinks just through including them in their work, if you think ‘that sort of thing shouldn’t be allowed’ you’re not going to turn the clock back by force just by writing it in your story.

Sex is something intensely personal in many ways. This, consequently, means that it can be especially difficult to write without having experienced it. This is not to say that you absolutely can't write a good sex scene if you're still a virgin, but it can be a lot more difficult; as mentioned above, if you don't feel comfortable doing so, there's no shame in cutting to black before the lovers get intimate, and there's less risk of embarrassing yourself in the long run.

You should have a working knowledge of anatomy. AnatomicallyImpossibleSex is another good way of making yourself look ridiculous or that you don't know what you're talking about. A few quick tips to get you started; [[BiggerIsBetterInBed bigger is not always better]], even the GagPenis can naturally only be so large, and the vagina is not a magically flexible opening that can accept anything of any size without tremendous pain or discomfort for the woman concerned. Do some basic research before you start; again, no one's going to buy the "IMeantToDoThat" defence on this one.

Try also to avoid including too much AuthorAppeal. Sex, of course, is heavily tied up with fetishes and kinks, and authors are no different than anyone else in that they have certain tastes and fancies as well; it can be easy to throw in a little bit of what appeals to you. However, if there's a sense that you're providing too much information about what personally turns you on or were writing the sex scene with one hand while the other was ... occupied, shall we say, then this can make things a bit creepy and uncomfortable for your reader. If the sex scene is too prurient, it can be off-putting to the reader.

-->''Giving a reader a sex scene that is only half right is like giving her half of a kitten. It is not half as cute as a whole kitten; it is a bloody, godawful mess.''

There is a reason why, very year, Literary Review hosts a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literary_Review#Bad_Sex_in_Fiction_Award "Bad Sex in Fiction" Award]]; there is a ''lot'' of crappy writing when it comes to sex. What you may be surprised to see is that the list of nominees and winners frequently includes authors who are considered literary heavyweights, and this is because writing sex well is ''incredibly'' complex and difficult, even for award-winning writers. Sex is both something deeply intimate and personal and at the same time something that society and culture has built up a lot of significance around, meaning that there is a lot to balance.

Consider also what genre you're writing in, and how the sex fits in -- if, indeed, it does. If you're writing hardcore porn or PornWithoutPlot, then naturally your reader will understand and expect that anything goes;

Assuming you are already familiar [[with SoYouWantTo/WriteAStory this basic advice that holds across all genres]], hopefully you might find some of these pointers helpful.

There is a reason why, very year, Literary Review hosts a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literary_Review#Bad_Sex_in_Fiction_Award "Bad Sex in Fiction" Award]]; there is a ''lot'' of crappy writing when it comes to sex around. What you may be surprised to see is that the list of nominees and winners frequently includes authors who are considered literary heavyweights, and this is because writing sex well is ''incredibly'' complex and difficult, even for award-winning writers. Sex is both something deeply intimate and personal and at the same time something that society and culture has built up a lot of significance around, meaning that there is a lot to balance.