History Recap / TheSimpsonsS35E13ClanoftheCaveMom

Milhouse is playing four square with Nelson, Martin, and Clark, discussing the pre-gaming for the concert, talking about snacks to have beforehand. Bart shows up to flaunt his tickets, and Nelson, Martin and Clark abandon Milhouse without even so much as a "HAW HAW".

''Primal Marge vaults over the wolf and the wall,'' while modern Marge jumps the station wagon over some tire spikes and into the parking lot. They are on the run with ''primal Lisa, Bart and Maggie'' and modern Bart, Nelson, Milhouse and Clark in tow. ''The primal family are stopped by a ravine,'' the modern day party by a chain link fence. ''Primal Marge rips out a tree to make a bridge,'' modern Marge throws the boys over the wall before climbing up herself. They have evaded the security, now to make sure they get in the venue. Marge opens her purse to plant bags of potato chips onto the people in line behind her, narcing on their outside food to the Squeaky-Voiced Teen as a distraction.

-> '''Both''': Baño Muerte!

''Primal Marge vaults over the wolf and the wall,'' while modern Marge jumps the van over tire spikes and into the parking lot. They are on the run with ''primal Lisa, Bart and Maggie'' and modern Bart, Nelson, Milhouse and Clark in tow. ''The primal family are stopped by a ravine,'' the modern day party by a chain link fence. ''Primal Marge rips out a tree to make a bridge,'' modern Marge throws the boys over the wall before climbing up herself. They have evaded the security, now to make sure they get in the venue. Marge opens her purse to plant bags of potato chips onto the people in line behind her, narcing on their outside food to the Squeaky-Voiced Teen as a distraction.

* FurryFemaleMane: The prehistoric wolf has some light blue human-like hair, to make it clear it's an allegory to Luanne Van Houten.

* KindnessBall: Despite Homer's usual portrayal as an {{Abusive Parent|s}}, here he's willing to spend the entire day refreshing various ticket sites to ensure that Bart gets premium front row seats at a concert. It actually works, too!

* NoDialogueEpisode: The scenes involving the Primal Simpsons.

* MamaBear: Deconstructed. Marge is so outraged at Luanne calling Bart a bad friend that it reawakens her primal instincts, causing a gradual SanitySlippage throughout the episode.

-> Both: "Baño Muerte"!

** Primal Grampa gives his share of food to the children and walks out into the show to die so he won't be a burden to the family anymore.

* ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice: Primal Homer is killed when the Luanne wolf throws him onto a very sharp rock, and as he slides down it, he's nearly torn in half.

* NoDialogueEpisode: The scenes investing the Primal Simpsons.

* TakeOurWordForIt: Marge listens to some of the rap music Bart likes, and it's actually nothing too bad. Then Lisa points out Bart showed her the ''clean'' version of the song: the regular one is rapped in Spanish and contains some awful content, which Marge is shocked to read the translation of and it makes her immediately ban Bart from the concert. We don't hear the music because Marge is wearing earbuds, nor do we see the words because her phone is pointed away from the camera.

* MamaBear: Marge is so outraged at Luanne calling Bart a bad friend that it reawakens her primal instincts.

* ShoutOut: While the Primal Simpsons storyline is an homage to ''[[WesternAnimation/Primal2019 Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal]]''. The main story takes notes from the episode [[Recap/Primal2019E15ThePrimalTheory The Primal Theory]], taking place in more contemporary age where one person is gives into their primal instincts.

* ShaggyDogStory: Homer succeeds in buying Marge tickets to the concert and shows the digitak, only for her to learn she needed the app to get in.

* WhateverHappenedToTheMouse: Marge outright disowns Homer for being friends with Kirk when she overhears Kirk's voice as Homer calls her. This never gets resolved by the end of the episode.

* WhateverHappenedToTheMouse: Marge outright disowns Homer for being friends with Kirk when she overhears Kirk's voice as Homer calls her. This never gets resolved by the end of the episode.

* MamaBear: Marge is so outraged at Luanne calling Bart a bad friend that it reawakens her primal instincts.

''A flashback to 20,000 years ago begins, with a family of cavepeople counterparts of the Simpsons. Primordial Bart is hungry, and Primordial Marge gets her sling and goes out to hunt for food. But as the flashback ends with the primordial family eating from a giant snake,'' present day Bart isn't interested in the museum cafeteria's vast array of food. Marge tries to lecture him about how lucky he's got it, but he walks off, bored. Milhouse tells Bart that he's got tickets for Violencia Gigante in concert, much to everyone's amazement. Bart asks Marge to go, but she's not so sure, he's still young. Bart claims he's responsible, before running off to play with (and destroy) a trebuchet that Milhouse loaded himself in.

''Another flashback begins, with Primordial Bart is hiding from a large wolf with a bulbous snout and a light blue mane. The Luanne wolf finds him, but Primordial Marge hears Bart's screams. She grunts, her eyes dilate, her arm hairs stand on end, and she leaps at the Luanne wolf with a knife and stabs her in the thigh. Marges past'' and present console their Barts, present day Marge outraged at what Luanne said. She grunts, her eyes dilate, and her arm hairs stand on end. She's had to put up with Milhouse for so long, and this is how Luanne treats Bart? Marge's primal insticts don't care that she forbade Bart from going to that concert, uninviting him was crossing a line! She rounds Homer up to have a chat with the Van Houtens, and gets Grandpa to babysit. ''The primordial family are stuck in their tent during a blizzard with barely any soup to share. Primordial Grandpa divides his soup among the children, embraces Primordial Homer, and goes out into the cold to die, as modern day Grandpa arrives from the freezing rain.''

Marge confronts Luanne, and the husbands can already tell this won't end well. Kirk tries to de-escalate the situation, saying "nobody thinks you're a bad mother". Homer and Marge didn't pay attention to the "nobody thinks" part, and Homer calls out the Van Houtens for their overwhelming attachment to their son. Marge has had enough, they're leaving, saying they have "an all-consuming vendetta" against Bart. Marge wants Homer to get Bart four tickets to the concert, good ones, at all costs. This feud is more important than her opinions. ''Primordial Marge hears the howling of a wolf, and sharpens her spear.''

''Primordial Homer is hunting a deer, chasing it relentlessly through thorny briars despite all the blood loss.'' Modern day Homer is hunting the concert tickets, switching tabs between websites for anything that might pop up. Marge encourages him to keep it up, or else Bart dies... socially. ''The deer climbs up a steep cliff and into the snow, and Primordial Homer follows.'' Eventually, he slays the deer and lets out a triumphant roar, and Homer calls Marge with a triumphant roar. He got not just tickets, but a VIP package with admission to the "Front Row Club". Marge is overjoyed.

Luanne confronts Marge at a PTA meeting. She moves to dismiss Marge from the PTA board for bullying Milhouse. Marge grunts, her eyes dilate, and her arm hair and beehive stand on end. ''The Luanne wolf confronts Primordial Marge,'' and as modern day Marge and Luanne exchange verbal blows, ''so too do their primal counterparts exchange physical blows.'' After Marge says she packs a lunch for Milhouse out of pity, Mr. Largo and Ms. Peyton restrain the two ''and Primordial Homer enters the fray, scaring off the Luanne wolf, but she destroys the tent as she leaves. The primordial family must go, find shelter in a distant cave.''

The night of the concert comes, and Milhouse had to take kindergarteners with his extra tickets. ''As the primordial family reach a wall along the cliffside, ''Marge reaches the ticket booth. She presents her ticket, but the wiseguy says paper tickets aren't accepted, she must use the app. She calls Homer to know which app to use, and Homer says he deleted the app, as well as the password-storing app, because he likes to see the icons squirm before getting deleted. Marge hears Kirk on the line, he's over at the Simpson residence for fantasy football drafts. Marge won't accept this treachery, and hangs up. ''Primordial Homer is about to assist his Marge up the wall, when the Luanne wolf strikes! She tosses Marge aside, bites Homer, and throws him onto a very sharp stalagmite that impales him, and nearly tears him in two as he slides down it.'' Both Marges are dismayed, and the wiseguy lets modern Marge through so she can turn around. Luanne stops to gloat. Enraged, Marges ''past'' and present charge forward with a primal roar!

''Primordial Marge vaults over the wolf and the wall,'' while modern Marge jumps the van over tire spikes and into the parking lot. They are on the run with ''primordial Lisa, Bart and Maggie'' and modern Bart, Nelson, Milhouse and Clark in tow. ''The primordial family are stopped by a ravine,'' the modern day party by a chain link fence. ''Primordial Marge rips out a tree to make a bridge,'' modern Marge throws the boys over the wall before climbing up herself. They have evaded the security, now to make sure they get in the venue. Marge opens her purse to plant bags of potato chips onto the people in line behind her, narcing on their outside food to the Squeaky-Voiced Teen as a distraction.

''The primordial family have reached the cave,'' but one last obstacle stands in the way of the Marges and their goals. ''The Luanne wolf,'' and the guards for the Front Row Club. Modern Marge makes a spill of popcorn stand butter and blinds the guards with camera flashes, sliding under the velvet rope and past the curtains, to the door of the Front Row Club. They made it, but the boys aren't excited for the concert anymore. Marge won't let Luanne win, but Bart asks that she get the opinion of her reflection. Marge's dress is torn, her shoes are gone, and her hair is down. With a grunt of realization, Marge sees she has become like a cavewoman. Marge regrets her actions, she was blinded by rage, but it was out of not wanting anything bad to happen to Bart. Bart can handle bad stuff happening, but not losing his good parent.

As modern Marge looks at the Front Row Club lanyards, ''lightning splits the sky of the primal world, and makes a rockslide that pins down the Luanne wolf. With spear in hand, Primordial Marge has her dead to rights, but looking in her eyes, Marge uses the spear to displace the rock that has the Luanne wolf pinned down, and she breaks the spear to make a cast for the wolf's broken leg.'' Modern Milhouse is miserable that he couldn't just invite Bart, but Luanne tries to indulge him into the schadenfreude of Bart's misery. Milhouse doesn't want to see Bart sad, he's his only true friend, bad as he might be. Marge approaches Luanne with the Front Row Club lanyards, inviting the Van Houtens to join them. Luanne and Marge hug.

''The primordial Simpsons have tamed the Luanne wolf, now their loyal giant canine companion.''

* FurryFemaleMane: The prehistoric wolf has some light blue human-like hair, to make it clear it's an allegory to Luanne Van Houten.