History Recap / TalesFromTheCryptS5E2AsYeSow

[[caption-width-right:350: It's official. This is gonna get ugly.]]

->'''Caller:''' You've got to help me, Dr. Viscous! It's our son's eating habits!
->'''Crypt Keeper:''' ''(wearing headphones and seated in front of a microphone reading KDOA and a phone, holding a cigarette and playing the role of a radio DJ)'' You said you were cannibals, right?
->'''Caller:''' Yes! That's why this vegetarianism thing scares me!
->'''Crypt Keeper:''' No need to worry. For one thing, vegetarians are probably much better for him. I like to ''stalk'' one myself from time to time. ''(cackles)'' My advice is to let him ''fiend'' himself. The little nipper will never learn to ''maggot'' on his own if you're too busy protecting him. ''(to the viewers)'' Our next caller, Leo, thinks his wife is cheating on him. Let's hope for her sake he doesn't catch her in the ''hacked.'' I call this sickening psycho drama: '''As Ye Sow.'''

Dry-cleaning owner Leo Burns (Creator/HectorElizondo) has hired a private detective to keep an eye on his beautiful young wife Bridget, thoroughly convinced that she is cheating on him. When the detective's surveillance turns up nothing after burning through $30,000 of his money, Leo ends his partnership with the guy and considers hiring G. G. Devoe (Creator/SamWaterston), a seedy detective who specializes in marital cases and sympathizes with Leo's suspicions.

One week later, Devoe shows Leo a set of snapshots that capture Bridget, a faithful Catholic, entering and leaving the local church for Mass. Leo is unsure whether Bridget is actually attending, as she says she does every day, prompting Devoe to suggest that she may be having an affair with parish priest Father John Sejac. A face-to-face meeting with Sejac leads Leo to think that Devoe may be on to something, and Leo's imagination starts to run wild upon seeing him and Bridget enter a confessional booth, hallucinating vivid fantasies of the two of them having sex.

Leo visits Devoe again and agrees to pay him $100,000 to have Sejac killed - half for the hitman, the rest for Devoe, who tells Leo to go about his daily business and never come to his office again. After placing the cash in a bus station locker and sending the key in the mail, Leo starts keeping an eye on the church day after day, ignoring Bridget as suspicion consumes his mind. When his patience runs out, he returns to Devoe's office to find it empty, then discovers that the cash is gone from the locker.

Believing that Devoe has swindled him, Leo arms himself with a knife and goes to the church, intent on killing Sejac himself. He disguises himself as a priest and enters one of the confessionals, only to hear Bridget step in on the penitent's side. Bridget confesses that she hasn't been having sex with Leo because her mother died in childbirth, and she is terrified of meeting the same fate if she becomes pregnant. Overjoyed at this discovery, Leo apologizes to her and the two step out of the confessional to reconcile. They are confronted by the hitman Devoe hired, who sees the clerical collar Leo is wearing and shoots him, mistaking him for Sejac. As Bridget sobs over her dying husband, Sejac arrives to administer last rites.

!!Tropes:
* AdaptationNameChange: In the comic, the husband was named Laird Kimball and the wife Nora. Here, it's Leo Burns and Bridget.
* AdaptationRelationshipOverhaul: In the comic, the wife actually ''was'' having an affair and didn't deny it when confronted. The TwistEnding with the hitman only occurs because she had second thoughts and went back to her husband, leading to the mistaken identity. In this version, Bridget is absolutely faithful to Leo, and it's largely in part due to Leo's paranoia and a lack of effective communication between them that the ending happens.
* AffablyEvil: For all his shiftiness, Devoe genuinely sympathizes with Leo's troubles, and commends Chapman as being a pretty good handler of cases regarding insurance fraud.
* AsideGlance: Leo's first hallucination has Devoe's photo of Sejac make a sleazy looking glance at the photo of Bridget laying next to it, then having Bridget's photo appear as if she's climaxing.
* AwLookTheyReallyDoLoveEachOther: After spending the whole episode being distant, suspicious, and on one occasion rather rough towards each other, Leo and Bridget clear up their misunderstandings and prove that they genuinely love each other. It makes the ending so much more depressing, unfortunately.
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: After suspecting his that his wife has been having an affair, Leo pays a hitman to kill the man she's seeing. The end of the episode has him disguising himself as a priest to learn the truth from Bridget, only to meet the business end of the hitman's gun.
* CallBack: Creator/KyleMacLachlan, who played Diggs in Season 3's [[Recap/TalesFromTheCryptS3E2CarrionDeath Carrion Death]], wrote this episode's script.

* TheCameo: None other than Creator/AdamWest plays Chapman, the first detective Leo goes to.
* CatchPhrase: Leo has "In your ear!", which he says when he gets annoyed with someone. It's later said by the hitman Devoe sent to kill Sejac.
* CheatingWithTheMilkMan: Leo suspiciously believes that his wife is having an affair with the priest at her church.
* ChurchLady: Bridget, Leo's Irish wife, is described by Chapman as "a regular choir girl", who frequently visits her local church and goes to Mass everyday. Leo claims that everyone in Ireland is that faithful, but Devoe's silver tongue gradually convinces him that local priest John Sejac is having sex with Bridget inside the church.
* ConvenientPhotograph: Devoe gives Leo a folder full of pictures depicting Bridget. Including one of her leaving the church happier than when she went in, hinting that she may be having sex with the priest.
* CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot: If Leo and Bridget had stopped what they were doing and ''discussed'' why the latter was ignoring him, the episode would've never happened.
* CouldSayItBut: Devoe keeps being deliberately half-truthful with Leo regarding his wife's faithfulness to him, fueling his paranoid fantasies.
* [[CreepyChangingPainting Creepy Changing Photograph]]: As seen through Leo's paranoid eyes, the photos Devoe took of Sejac and Bridget change to the former casting a lustful gaze on the latter, whose head is thrown back with an open mouth as though she's climaxing.
* CulturallyReligious: Father Sejac is a Catholic priest, but he's alleged by Devoe to advocate birth control, which got him fired from his previous position.
* DeathByChildBirth: In the church confessional, Bridget reveals that her mother died in childbirth and fears the same happening to her if she ever becomes pregnant, which is why she hasn't been having sex with Leo.
* DefectiveDetective: Devoe works out of a sleazy office, swipes all of Leo's money, and hires a hitman to kill the priest his wife is supposedly screwing.
* DoubleEntendre: Sejac innocently tells Leo that he hopes to have people see the Church as a "living, potent organ", fueling Leo's suspicions that he's having sex with his wife.
* DownerEnding: Leo and Bridget reconcile and all is forgiven between them, right before the assassin Devoe hired on Leo's behalf thinks Leo is Sejac and kills him in front of Bridget. Bridget can only break into sobs for her deceased husband while Sejac arrives and delivers last rites, backed by the sound of dead silence.
* ExactWords: Leo directs Devoe to have the hitman he hires kill Sejac by shooting him first in the crotch, then in the ear. The end of the episode has the hitman carrying out these instructions to the letter, but Leo winds up on the receiving end of them after the hitman mistakes him for Sejac.
* ForcedToWatch: Leo wants Bridget to watch her purported lover be shot to death by Devoe's hitman. She ends up forced to watch her husband be killed instead.
* ForTheEvulz: If Devoe isn't stringing Leo along and stoking the flames of his paranoia for extra money, it's likely instead to be purely for the sadism.
* GilliganCut: Chapman advises Leo, when he gets fed up with the lack of evidence, that he's sure to find some dubious party who would gladly take his money. Cut to Leo meeting with Devoe, who is very obviously a shady ne'er-do-well.
* GroinAttack: Leo hopes for the hitman to shoot Sejac in the dick when he's killed. Due to the ending mix-up, Leo gets one of these attacks instead.
* GutPunch: The near end of the episode has Bridget and Leo learning about their misunderstandings and forgiving one another, about to leave with their love stronger than ever... right before Devoe's hitman kills Leo.
* HopeSpot: After sneaking into the church confessional and learning why Bridget hasn't been having sex with him, Leo is relieved of his paranoia and reconciles with her...only for the hitman Devoe hired to mistake him for Sejac and kill him.
* HorribleJudgeOfCharacter: Leo trusts the incredibly shady Devoe and gives him $100,000 in cash to dig up dirt that his wife is cheating on him. Earlier, he gave Chapman, who specializes in insurance fraud instead of marital issues, $30,000 for similar proof.
* IgnoredExpert: Chapman, who tells Leo that he's found no evidence whatsoever that his wife is being unfaithful to him, and advises him to schedule a meeting with a marriage counselor or even a shrink instead of spending all his money on hiring detectives trying to prove his suspicions.

* InnocentInnuendo / InnocentlyInsensitive: Father Sejac's advice to Leo about how he usually has to handle matters related to sex, marriage, and infidelity, as well as his belief that people should see the Church "as a living, potent organ, throbbing with vitality, bursting with life", describes his outfit, which he says is comfortable and "comes in handy", and says that his overall goal is "easing the flack of a stressed out flock", essentially telling people "It's okay to be you.". All of this when Leo's already paranoid enough about what his wife is doing behind his back.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Leo is abrasive and willing to have the man he thinks his wife is having sex with killed, but he genuinely loves Bridget and wouldn't dare risk losing her, or suffering through a hefty-priced divorce.
* JungleDrums: These play furiously during Leo's ImagineSpot of Bridget and Sejac doing it in the confessional booth, and again later on the backseat of his car.
* KarmaHoudini: Devoe successfully gets away with giving Leo the idea that Bridget and Sejac are having sex, swiping all of Leo's money, skipping town, and hiring the hitman who ultimately kills Leo.

* LingerieScene: Bridget has several of them in Leo's fantasies of her.
* LoveMakesYouCrazy: Leo gradually grows more and more paranoid over the idea of his wife and the local priest having an affair, to the point where he hallucinates it actually happening before his eyes.
* LoveMakesYouEvil: Leo lets his imagination get the best of him, and ultimately hires a hitman to murder a priest.
* MayDecemberRomance: Leo clarifies to Chapman that his wife is 24 years younger than him.
* MistakenForCheating: What drives the plot. It would've never escalated as it did if Bridget and Leo just came clean to one another.
* MrImagination: Leo's paranoia leads him to experience vivid hallucinations of Bridget and Sejac making love right in front of him. He also witnesses the sign outside the church taunting him for what his wife's supposedly doing behind his back.
* MurderTheHypotenuse: Leo's solution to his marriage problems is hiring a hitman to murder the priest, albeit not without a great amount of thought.
* NiceGirl / NiceGuy: Bridget is a loving woman and devoted Catholic who only withholds the truth of why she denies sex from Leo because she doesn't know how to break it to him in a way he'd understand.
** Father Sejac is also a pleasant and affable man of the cloth who doesn't let his beliefs hit any roadblocks career-wise. He was only painted as an adulterer thanks to Devoe's trickery and his poor choice of words during his meeting with Leo.
* NoirEpisode: A man visits two detectives in one episode trying to gain evidence that his wife is cheating on him with a local priest.
* NotWhatItLooksLike: Leo sees pictures of Bridget and Sejac exiting the church at the same time and assumes they're having an affair. Later, while Leo hugs his wife, completely forgetting that he's still disguised as a priest, the hitman he paid to kill said priest mistakes him for their target.
* {{Oireland}}: Bridget immigrated from Ireland to the States, since she speaks in a strong Irish accent and is a firm Catholic who visits her church every day.
* OnlySaneMan: Chapman, who clearly sees nothing suspicious with Bridget's daily activities, and fruitlessly tries to convince Leo that his wife cheating on him is all in his head, advising him to stop blowing through his money to prove his theories are true and seek psychiatric help for his paranoia. Or at the very least, visit a marriage counselor.
* PoorCommunicationKills: Leo and Bridget haven't had sex for a couple of months when the episode begins. Leo fears that it's because his wife is having an affair since she's been rejecting his offers for sex and going to church more, while Bridget fears that she may become pregnant and die during childbirth, just as her mother did, and feared that Leo wouldn't understand. The plot of the episode happens because the two of them never stopped and ''talked about'' what was bothering them; they just looked at one another and assumed the worst.
* PrivateDetective: Leo hires two of them. He first goes to Chapman, a well-groomed employee of an agency specializing in insurance fraud cases, which operates out of a clean, modern office. Unsatisfied with Chapman's lack of evidence, Leo turns to G. G. Devoe, a sleazy PI who works out of a rundown office and has no reservations about hiring hitmen to murder the lovers of unfaithful spouses.
* RansomDrop: Leo puts Devoe's $100,000 fee in a locker at a bus station and mails the key to him.
* RichInDollarsPoorInSense: Leo has shades of this trope, since he's the wealthy owner of a dry-cleaning business who gives an obviously shady detective $100 grand for evidence of his wife having an affair with a priest. We learn when the episode opens that he already spent ''$30'' grand on getting Chapman to gain evidence of his suspicions.

* SinisterMinister: Leo begins to view Sejac as one, visualizing him and his wife having sex in a confessional booth, and later his own car. Granted, Devoe does tell Leo that Sejac was fired from his last position for "disobeying the Pope's encyclical on contraception", so his claims have some very slight merit.
* TheStakeout: After sending Devoe's money to the agreed-upon drop zone, Leo parks his car near the church so he can watch the hitman kill Sejac, even snacking on a burger as the time goes by. He checks again the next day, after which he discovers that Devoe has effectively robbed him.
* SurveillanceAsThePlotDemands: The episode opens on Leo checking out video surveillance footage captured by a guy who works for Chapman. He later is given suspicious spy photos by Devoe, which implicate that Bridget is having sex with priest John Sejac in church.

->'''Crypt Keeper:''' ''(an "ON THE AIR" sign behind him switches on)'' Talk about a pain in the ''apse!'' That's love for you. ''Eerie'' today, ''gaunt'' tomorrow. ''(snickers)'' As for me, kiddies, my shift's up. It's the top of the hour. Time for your favorite morning man! ''(opens his microphone and sticks his finger into the wiring, electrocuting himself while cackling madly; the shock causes him to take on a disguise of Creator/HowardStern)'' What's the matter? You've never seen a ''shock'' jock before? ''(cackles)''

Believing that Devoe has swindled him, Leo arms himself with a knife and goes to the church, intent on killing Sejac himself. He disguises himself as a priest and enters one of the confessionals, only to hear Bridget step in on the penitent's side. Bridget confesses that she hasn't been having sex with Leo is because her mother died in childbirth, and she is terrified of meeting the same fate if she becomes pregnant. Overjoyed at this discovery, Leo apologizes to her and the two step out of the confessional to reconcile. They are confronted by the hitman Devoe hired, who sees the clerical collar Leo is wearing and shoots him, mistaking him for Sejac. As Bridget sobs over her dying husband, Sejac arrives to administer last rites.

* PrivateDetective: Leo goes to the offices of two of them. Leo first goes to Chapman, a well-groomed employee of an agency specializing in insurance fraud cases, which operates out of a clean, modern office. Unsatisfied with Chapman's lack of evidence, Leo turns to G. G. Devoe, a sleazy PI who works out of a rundown office and has no reservations about hiring hitmen to murder the lovers of unfaithful spouses.
* RansomDrop: Devoe arranges the money Leo's paying to have Sejac killed in a locker at the bus station, and puts the key to the locker in the mail.

Dry-cleaning owner Leo Burns (Creator/HectorElizondo) has hired a private detective to keep an eye on his beautiful young wife Bridget, thoroughly convinced that she is cheating on him. When the detective's surveillance turns up nothing after burning through $30,000 of his money, Leo ends his partnership with the guy and considers and hiring G. G. Devoe (Creator/SamWaterston), a seedy detective who specializes in marital cases and sympathizes with Leo's suspicions.

One week later, Devoe shows Leo a set of snapshots that capture Bridget, a faithful Catholic, entering and leaving the local church for Mass. Leo is unsure whether Bridget is actually attending, as she says she does every day, prompting Devoe to suggest that she may be having an affair with parish priest Father John Sejac. A face-to-face meeting with Sejac leads Leo to think that Devoe may be on to something, and Leo's imagination starts to run wild upon seeing him and Bridget enter a confessional booth, hallucinating vivid fantasies of the two of them having sex in the booth.

Believing that Devoe has swindled him, Leo arms himself with a knife and goes to the church, intent on killing Sejac himself. He disguises himself as a priest and enters one of the confessionals, only to hear Bridget step in on the penitent's side. Bridget confesses that the reason she hasn't been having sex with Leo is because her mother died in childbirth, and she is terrified of meeting the same fate if she becomes pregnant. Overjoyed at this discovery, Leo apologizes to her and the two step out of the confessional to reconcile. They are confronted by the hitman Devoe hired, who sees the clerical collar Leo is wearing and shoots him, mistaking him for Sejac. As Bridget sobs over her dying husband, Sejac arrives to administer last rites.

* TheWoobie: Poor Bridget, a NiceGirl who thinks of herself as a terrible wife for not "performing the duties of a wife" enough, the reason being she's afraid she'll become pregnant and die during childbirth just as her own mother did. Even after all the strife she and her husband go through, just after they reconcile, a hitman kills her husband in front of her, and she ends the episode a sobbing mess.

* PrivateDetective: Leo goes to the offices of two of them. Leo first goes to Chapman, a well-groomed employee of an agency specializing in insurance fraud cases, which operates out of a clean, modern office. Unsatisfied with Chapman's lack of evidence results, Leo turns to G. G. Devoe, a sleazy PI who works out of a rundown office and has no reservations about hiring hitmen to murder the lovers of unfaithful spouses.

* NotWhatItLooksLike: Leo sees pictures of his wife and the priest exiting the church at the same time and assumes they're having an affair. Later, Leo hugs his wife, forgetting completely that he's still disguised as a priest and then the hit-man he paid to kill said priest mistakes him for the same one.

* MrImagination: Leo's paranoia leads him to experience vivid hallucination of Bridget and Sejac making love right in front of him. He also witnesses the sign outside the church taunting him for what his wife's supposedly doing behind his back.

* ImagineSpot: Leo has a few of them involving Bridget and Sejac getting it on without him knowing, including changing photographs, a changing sign, and hallucinations of the two of them doing it in front of him.

* IgnoredExpert: Chapman, who tells Leo that he's found no evidence whatsoever that his wife is being unfaithful to him, and advises him to schedule a meeting with a marriage counselor or even a shrink instead of spending all his money on detectives trying to prove his suspicions.

* HorribleJudgeOfCharacter: Leo trusts the incredibly shady Devoe and gives him $100,000 cash to dig up dirt that his wife is cheating on him. Earlier, he gave Chapman, who specializes in insurance fraud instead of marital issues, $30,000 for similar proof.

* DefectiveDetective: Devoe works out of a sleazy office, swipes all of Leo's money, and hires a hitman to kill the priest she's supposedly screwing.

* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: After suspecting his that his wife has been having an affair, Leo pays a hitman to kill him. The end of the episode has him disguising himself as a priest to learn the truth from Bridget, only to meet the business end of the hitman's gun.